Monday, October 26, 2009

Smooth

smooth

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68 Comments

  1. I have no idea what’s going on here.

  2. And here I was worried that he didnt have an opportunity to learn proper english and spelling growing up.

  3. Everyone involved in this picture deserves an ass kicking.

  4. lol Angela. I love mamas with belts.

    I feel foolish saying this but I had no fucking clue what Smooth was saying. Clarissa gave me better context but damn… Are we all speaking english here?

  5. Joenesha? I feel much better now.

  6. 4rm mama #2?

    So… ummm, she’s his step-mom? Why would 4rm mean from? That’s the most ridiculous “abbreviation” that I’ve ever seen.

    azz instead of ass is stupid also.

    Oh, I also hate “lmbo”. Are you really that proper/anti-swearing?

  7. the fuck did they just say?

  8. Whoops, that was me… hmmm, why did I have KGBKGB up there? hmmm…

  9. Translation:

    Smooth: Ladies! Why do you all have to lie about performing oral? Be a grown woman about this topic, don’t stretch the truth. If I don’t perform oral on a woman, I wouldn’t lie about it (You all need to start keeping your shit gangster (on the level? haha))

  10. LET’S ALL TALK IN CAPS. THAT’LL MAKE US COOL.

  11. Angela is my hero.

  12. Classic stereotype. ‘Smooth’ is about as smooth as rumble strips on a highway.

  13. mcowles,

    Nicely translated. The only thing that may be off is “If I done perform oral on a woman”, not “If I don’t perform…”. Let’s not give Smooth too much credit and instead assume he’s a “dunce that done gone dumb”.

  14. What the fuck? People actually talk like this?

  15. Thesaurapist 13(F)

    Sigh – I wish some nice young G would dne give *me* his tonuge.
    No lye.

  16. What’s lmbo?

  17. @ Ms. Terri-Laugh my butt off

  18. lmbo=laughing my butt off?

  19. lmbo = laugh my badunk-ka-dunk off

    or

    lmbo = laugh my booty off

  20. @Bucky

    Thanks, yeah, you’re probably right. it looks like it was “If I DO perform… ” (or “done”)

  21. What if the whole world blows up and the only information archaeologists have to piece together how we used language is that Facebook exchange?

    Yeah. I just went there.

  22. if smooth can afford a computer, surely he can afford English lessons.

    wow.

  23. hmm, well *someone* isn’t keepin’ it real… and I think denesia is tryin’ to score a ride in smooth’s fine italian motorcar

  24. Anyone who calls themselves ‘Smooth’ is lame before they even start typing a word.

  25. I agree. Lye and oral sex should never mix. Never, ever.

  26. Thesaurapist 13(F)

    Shatara? Denesia? Joenesha?
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCdmiZyyGjQ

  27. Lmfao @ that YouTube video. xD

  28. Lmfao. That Youtube video is the best.

  29. If I’d been drunk/retarded enough to give head to such a cretin I’d done lye bout it too. Real talk right there. Sorry, thurr.
    Just keeping it G.

  30. I wonder what the conversation was like where they lied to him? To be a fly on the wall for that one…

  31. I cant wait till people who type e-speak try to get a job and they fill out the application like it was post on thier myspace page. I just wish they werent allowed to collect welfare checks.

  32. His name is Smooth. That’s something. Even if its not his “actual” name still. No idea what he’s talking about but still.

  33. I hope Shatara’s friends call her Shat for short.

  34. What is this??

  35. My brain hurts…

  36. fucking black people.

  37. Wonder why you posted anonymously…

  38. Are you fucking serious? Can I get a fucking translator in here. Arabic is easier to grasp then ignorant fuck-tard speak

  39. You just have to love when a jigga boo feels the need to try to use a computer.

  40. I was in Jamaica a while ago and remember reading a problem page / agony aunt section on the local paper. A mother wrote in complaining that her son was too effeminate and will not change “no matter how often and how hard I beat him”.
    Smooth, Jellyquisha, Sumatriana, et al, obviously didn’t get enough of a beating.

  41. *in the local paper

  42. Did anyone notice the rhythm and rhyme of Mama #2. Her album drops in Dec.

  43. Goodest Spellerer

    The REALLY funny thing is, there’s some guy called “Joe Nesha” on Facebook. You go, girlfriend.

  44. oh no she dit-ten!

  45. Wow Watermelondrea and Goodest, ya’ll are kind of racist and not even know it, eh? Perhaps one of your sisters is going out with someone of a different race and this is how you take it out. Fair enough.

  46. Calling FAKE on this one! No ones mother talks ‘lyk dizzz’, and its a completely private profile with no picture. hmmmm???

    Funniest part is the peoples names! SMOOOOOOOOOTH… haha!!

  47. I like how Denesia chooses to censor herself by saying lmbo (laughing my butt off I’m assuming) even though they are talking about sucking on a mans dick.

  48. Could be laugh my bollocks off?

  49. It’ll be “laughing my butt off”, I bet she’s a jesus freak and won’t say ass or arse.

  50. flash in the pants

    Question for the critics:
    Why is it that when there’s a lamebook entry from an African-American, everyone rags on their grammar/use of the English language? But on the similar posts (that I’ve seen), with Caucasian people-no mention (or very little mention) of grammar/use of language?

  51. @50: There are plenty of other posts out there that rag on incorrect grammar. The problem with this particular post is even if you’ve spoken English for your entire life, you need an interpreter to understand what our smooth friend and his homeladies are saying.

  52. @45 Jonk
    I think everyone can be a little bit racist, sexist, heightist, etc. If someone is different to us we tend to highlight that and associate (wrongly or rightly) perceived traits, i.e. All Jamaicans are good sprinters, all women are a bit crazy (actually that is a fact!), short man syndrome, etc. But other than my post being fairly ambiguous I’m struggling to see any racist content or intent. Am happy to be enlightened though, old bean. toodle-pip.
    P.S. Some of my best friends are white (and short).

  53. What the hell is Angela saying? I honestly can’t decipher it.

  54. @53 remo
    “Listen here little boy, I have told you that you’re not too old to get your ass beaten by your mother. Secondly, I want you to take that down before I use my belt to hurt you.”

    That’s my impression…

  55. @54 – Not quite. Mama no.2 is definitely how she’s choosing to refer to herself. I would have assumed this was his girlfriend but for some reason the ‘old’ part tells against it. I reckon step-mother.

    @53 – 4rm = ‘Forum’ = how some people pronounce ‘from’.
    ‘Put my belt to you’ = Beat you with my belt.
    ‘Get your ass beat’ = ‘to be beaten’
    ‘Mama No. 2′ = Your guess is as good as mine. Step mother? GRAND mother? Mother in law? A joke-name for the girlfriend?

  56. flash in the pants

    #2- It’s a joke, she’s saying she’s his ‘mama’. Sort of like when someone says bro/sis even though they aren’t related to you. Hence, #2 because mama #1 is really his mother.

  57. Regardless of what figure Angela is in “Smooth” life, she is my hero!

    @Angela: Please let me know if you need any help :)

  58. I have no idea what anyone was saying in that picture. Do they still have schools in the United States or did they drop that idea?

  59. #58 – Compulsory education violates our constitutional right to freedom of speech. How can speech truly be free if you have been taught stuff by other people? Come to the USA, you too can be dumb, free, and say whatever the fuck you want.

  60. Actually it’s not. School is pretty much mandatory in the U.S.

  61. #60 That fact that you think I was serious is pretty strong evidence that you are the retarded product of a dysfunctional society. Have fun with that!

  62. @21 Boz
    I was just thinking the same thing. Now I am lmbo. Yeah, I really did say that. (and I meant booty)

  63. Oh yeah, and I’m willing to bet that Angela is Smooth’s (possibly new) girlfriend, and was more than likely the one who was refusing to give him head. Obviously, she’d want him to take it down immediately, because people must know it’s her he’s talking about. Think about it.

    By the way, thanks all for the translation. Without them I would have been truly lost!!!

  64. I didn’t have a clue what he was talking about so I’m glad Clarissa explained it all

  65. I thought all the nigs were on MySpace

  66. What the hell is even going on here? It’s just a bunch of ebonics bullshit, it happens all the time.

  67. @derp- you just answered your own question…lame

  68. What the fuck does Miss Rebecca mean?

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