Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Sick Snaps (Warning: Gross)

previous post: Terrible TypOHs



  1. glory.

  2. What the hell is Zoe’s problem?

  3. I wonder if Placenta Jerky is considered a “ceremonial purpose.”

  4. This is just freaking gross…

  5. gross.

  6. I just wept a tear for humanity.

  7. The big eating the placenta lamebook debate part V is about to start in 5 -4 -3 …

  8. Awesome use of facebook. Instead of snacking on the placenta, why not just the child itself? It doesn’t really need two legs. When it grows up, it will learn to love the bionic leg.

  9. Who the FUCK are you to be commenting on my public shit on this social networking site? It’s my placenta, dammit.

    Though, to be fair, she apparently didn’t know Zoe, so I don’t know how she managed to get onto the photo without just sneaking through random strangers’ profiles.

    But still… Ewww?!

  10. A placenta is basically part of your own body, so eating it is kind of like self-cannibalism. I don’t care if you eat it or not, but if you do and you then later tell your kids to stop biting their nails or eating their boogers, you’re a hypocrite.

  11. Dude….gross.

    Just gross.


  12. Maybe the Army of Orville and Army of Jiffy Pop should think about adding placenta flavor

  13. I didn’t find this as gross as the lady who shat herself- this post wasn’t that bad. I did get annoyed at the punctuation in Zoe’s post. Learn how to use commas and periods, dammit. I can’t understand half the shit she is saying.

  14. I have no problem with placenta consumption. What I don’t get is Zoe’s typing or why someone who didn’t know her had access to the picture. It’s obviously a sensitive topic, limit the access to those albums. Why anyone would make those pictures totally public is beyond me.

    I have no effing clue what Zoe says in any of her responses though, so maybe she explains why and I just can’t decipher it.

  15. Must be part of her religion. Anti-vowel, Flying-off-the-Handle Adventist, I think it is.

  16. like WTF this stuff should not have been on FB and it should not be on LB. This is one of the nastiest things ever!!!

  17. Great. I am about to go on lunch break and will probably be tormented by the image of ‘jerky placenta’ the whole time.

    Definitely ordering vegetarian food today.

  18. Er, ‘placenta jerky’, rather.

  19. I’m with ya on the auto-cannibalism thing,Sensible Madness .

    Most of us probably don’t much care if someone decides to consume one of their own organs, bury it under a tree, or dry up and smoke it. It’s the damn narcissism of slamming it in everyone’s faces, then being aggressively offended when someone dares to be put off, that tends to polarize people I’d guess.

    Just another symptom of the “LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEEEE!” generation. Wonder what Warhol would have made of Facebook?

  20. Zoe is a lunatic. Goes psycho on her and then in the next breath hits on her. Okaaay then.

  21. who the fuck are you guys to be commenting on zoes shit? did she ASK for your opinion?

  22. Ah, the cult of Mommyhood. Causing people to eat parts of their bodies, lose all grasp of the English language, and freak out whenever anyone DARES to question a single decision. “WHUT DO U MEEN NO ICECREME FOR DINNR? WHO HTE FIK R U 2 QUESTUN MY PRENTING?!!!>!1″ ow. That hurt.

  23. It’s now my lunch time, and I’m hungry now! Mummm Placenta!

  24. My bet is that Marissa is on Zoe’s friend’s list because she’s a Farmville friend, or something silly like that.

  25. ick

  26. Maybe Marissa is Zoe’s brother’s girlfriend and she added her.. or maybe, since Zoe called her pretty, she is a lezbo religious zealot and added her because she wants to hit that?

  27. i know there are several that eat their own placentas…for whatever reason…but i don’t think i’ll EVER have the urge to eat a bloody mass of my own meat. disgusting!

  28. krasivaya_devushka

    Ok why why why do people post all kinds of crazy sh*t on their Facebook? So sickening.

  29. Time to invite the boys over for some football, beer, and placenta jerky…

  30. I mean…if you really want to eat placenta go for it, just don’t be shocked when you put it out there on a public site and people think it’s gross.

  31. I just twitched and nearly broke into spastic convulsions…

  32. ^^ hehehehe

    So much for lunch. I suppose fasting for the day is a good idea. * sighs *

    Zoe is a nut .

  33. I think it’s safe to say with the limited information presented that Zoe is batshit crazy.

  34. I had never even heard of eating placenta until I started coming here. Now it seems to be regular practice. I’m gonna start finding it weird when people -aren’t- wanting to gobble down placenta jerky soon.

    So wrong on so many levels.


  35. And, oh, I am fortunate to have eaten my lunch before reading this post. Whew! Close call.

  36. ^^ lucky you Bucky. I had the joy of twitching and choking on my beautiful spaghetti carbonara. I am forever ruined… I will never look upon my pasta in the same way. Curse you, Zoe. Seriously. May cow kidneys rain down upon your head whilst you perform your perverted ceremony.

  37. AAARGH! I hadn’t seen the actual picture of the placenta jerky until I posted there! Is that real??

    And, on a side note, who is Whitney to be holding the little biggie of bloody crap?


  38. At first I wasn’t that put off by this… but then I really thought about it. I mean, really, imagine consuming a bit of your own body (or bodily discharge). What’s next? Menstrual popsicles? Ew ew ew ew ewwww. :(

    No lunch for me.

  39. … and I wouldn’t be so quick to insult bats’ shit… I believe it possesses less craziness than Zoe…

  40. I’m delighted you guys like MY placenta jerky picture! LOL.

    First of all Im a doula and offer placenta encapsulation to clients. Why? Well I’m glad you asked :O)

    The placenta is thought to be rich in nutrients that the mother needs to recover more readily from childbirth. In Italy, women have been known to eat parts of the placenta to help with lactation. Hungarian women bite the placenta to expedite the completion of labor. Knowledgeable midwives in this country have their birth mothers take bites of raw placenta to help stop hemorrhaging, due to its beneficial oxytocin content. The placenta is considered rich in iron and protein, which would be useful to women recovering from childbirth, and a particularly beneficial to vegetarian women.
    Pregnancy is taxing on the body, even if the mother follows the best of health regimes. The theory behind placentophagy is that you are returning the nutrients lost during the birth process back to the body to aide in quick and smooth postpartum recovery.

    The benefits of placenta encapsulation include:
    Decrease in baby blues and postpartum depression.
    Increase and enrich breastmilk.
    Increase in energy.
    Decrease in lochia, postpartum bleeding.
    Decrease iron deficiency.
    Decrease insomnia or sleep disorders.

    The placenta’s hormonal make-up is completely unique to the mother. No prescription, vitamin or herbal supplement can do what one placenta pill can. How amazing is that?


    Please go to my facebook page Euphoric Birth Services to see all the pictures of the process from beginning to end.


  41. I am now back from lunch, and I didn’t eat. I think I’ll save it for a few hours from now. I need to let these images ease from my brain. Thanks Zoe! Now back to the grind, where I will not (hopefully) be researching anything involving placenta!

  42. Cindy is a friend of mine & she offers an important service to women who have recently birthed. I had my placenta encapsulated as I was a candidate for postpartum depression. Eating the placenta is practiced by mammals (yes, humans are mammals) all over the globe as a way to level off the dramatic drop in hormones that a woman experiences after giving birth, increase her breastmilk production & also to stop postpartum hemmorhage (bleeding). There is nothing strange about it, nor is it cannibalism. Your own placenta can do things that no prescription med could even dream of doing without harming you or your baby. Take that, Big Pharm!

  43. I have a great journal post over here on Cafemom with 83 replies on it.


  44. *sigh*

    I don’t entirely care precisely what benefits there are to eating your placenta. I don’t care what benefits there are to eating your own crap. I don’t care if there are benefits to drinking your menstrual excrements.

    Some things are and will remain GROSS, regardless of how healthy you want to call it. The idea of turning your placenta into jerky and eating it…? Yeah, that’s gross.

  45. YoMama, Also considering if you had to take a perscription med for EACH thing that this one placenta pills does. You would have to take SIX DIFFERENT MEDS!!! Six!?! Lord knows what side effect each of those meds have. Antidepressent meds can have fatal side-effects.

    Yet the placenta is UNIQUE to the mother and has NO side effects at all, not one.


  46. @Cali and Yo – I see you (Cali) provided a website with regards to all this information, and that’s where it belongs; somewhere where people can search for or google it if they are interested. It does not belong on FB which will have friends who are not as interested (or even disgusted) being subject to photos of someone’s afterbirth-insides-excrement-grossness (in bag or jerky form)… Which is obviously what happened, or these photos would not be on lamebook. Just sayin.

  47. Why does it not belong on MY facebook? Remember its *my facebook page* with my right to post any photos or information I want to?

    NO one is forcing my friends to look at my photos, they have a CHOICE. We all do.

    By the way 75% of my friends on facebooks are birth professionals so they APPRECIATE the placenta. My friends list is full of midwives, doulas, childbirth educators, lactation consultants, birth advocates, etc. So it’s not unusal to THEM to see a picture of a placenta.

  48. Placentophagy is scientifically proven to be effective for the above benefits I mentioned

  49. Licking ones own rectum to remove feces is a practice employed by mammals (and yes, humans are mammals!) all over the world. It is a great way to keep your bum from plugging up, and it’s evnironmentally friendly as there is no toilet paper used!

    I don’t care if animals do it. That doesn’t mean eating the placenta is normal or good.

  50. @Cali – that’s cool, to each their own. I’m just saying someone found it gross or offensive and submitted it to this website for that reason alone.

    Now that this comments-chain is getting rediculous and full of information that I don’t give a hoot aboot, I’m out. See y’all on the next one.

  51. LMFAO @ Shipoopi

    …ok, now I’m really out.

  52. There are a lot of things I find offensive like bottlefeeding crap-in-a-can(aka formula) but you dont see me posting pictures of bottle-fed babies on Lamebook. I have better things to do with my time like empower women in birth and encapsulate placentas :O)

  53. I think the placenta jerky being submitted says way more about the person who submitted it. The first one is lame because of the comments, the second is lame because it was submitted, not because of what it is.

  54. Ok first off, that’s just disgusting. Second of all, with Zoe’s wonderful spelling and grammar, I see that kid going far in life. About as far as the welfare office.

  55. Well cali4niachef,

    You may have time on your hands to post pictures of placentas on Facebook to generate manna for women all over the globe. However, some of us have better things to do with our time like make fun of things we think are funny, thus empowering ourselves.

    Besides, my entire Facebook is devoted to posting pictures of babies drinking formula.

  56. @ Shipoopi. Hallelujah and amen.

    @ Cali. So… let me get this straight. You think baby formula is more disgusting than turning placenta, crap, feces, whatever the hell else is “scientifically proven to be healthy” into food and eating it?

    And no I’m not being ironic or sarcastic, you REALLY think this?

    … *continues twitching*

  57. Oh fabulous Shipoopi! Link me to your facebook photos please, I feel the need to cringe and cry.

  58. AnonymousBastard

    It’s a choice and the actual act of consuming placenta maybe isn’t gross but I really don’t want it shoved in my face. Having a monthly is a grand and glorious natural bodily function but I don’t post pictures of my used pads on the internet.

    Placenta, while a miracle of nature, is on the list of “shit no one wants to see”.

  59. Starshine,
    Placentas are a unique organ – it is not human feces. The placenta contains very valuable hormones that aide in the postpartum recovery process.

    Yes I find formula more disgusting then placenta…without a doubt.

    Did I make you twitch some more? ;O)

  60. AnonBas, I got a good snort out of the pads comment

  61. placenta is a reeking stinky bloody mass of tissue that comes out of the vagina after the baby has come out. The mother has, while pushing her baby out, usually pissed and crapped herself, and this is what that placenta falls upon. You will then take this placenta and then put it in your mouth, chew it, and swallow it?


    You have apparently had one placenta chew too much me thinks.

    oh trust me, at this point I’m convulsing and dry heaving.

  62. The only reason her photo is on Lamebook is because some ignorant person decided to search for “placenta” on FB & found her educational photos. I appreciate her taking the time to document the process of placenta encapsulation.

  63. well, cali, i put a link to my FB but it’s awaiting moderation apparently

    basically at the end of the facebook dot com you add:


  64. @YoMama, I think what actually happened was this poor naive person was going through their news feed, and suddenly OMG WTF HFS WTF IS THAT?! and after the initial shock of thinking the apocalypse and armageddon had arrived, realized it was just someone whose brain has been stolen by the zombies and thought it would be a good lamebook submission.

  65. Let me just check my FB:

    hmm, claire is single

    Justin’s birthday is saturday

    There’s some dehydrated placenta

    Jim is a retar….wait, what?!?!

  66. The birthing industry is chock full of nonsensical claims, unproven conjectures, and outright superstitions that prey on a mother’s natural concern about doing the “right thing” for her baby. Putting a bunch of pseudoscientific claptrap and big science-y words around it doesn’t reduce the bullshit factor any more, it just serves to convince people that ought to know better. It’s all couched in cagey words like “thought to be” or “believed to be” or “have been known to”, which are all code for “none of this has been scientifically shown to do jack squat”. All of the scientific studies conducted, including those touted by loons who say they “prove” something, either say they found nothing conclusive or they found something mildly interesting, but only in rats.

    Sure, the placenta may be chock full of vitamins. You know what else is chock full of vitamins? VITAMINS! You can take them in one handy pill (not six prescriptions, that’s just nonsense), and you don’t even have to gross out all your friends to do it.

    Look, if you want to eat your placenta or sacrifice goats to the Sun God or whatever else you feel like doing, as long as you aren’t hurting anyone else you can go ahead and knock yourself out. But don’t go around telling everyone you’re doing it for some actual scientific reason, and don’t show everyone pictures of things that were inside of you 5 minutes before unless it’s the actual baby. If you’re going to do shit like that, get used to people calling you out on it, because other than your weirdo friends who play placenta shuffleboard every Thursday, nobody wants to see it.

  67. Amen, sensible!

  68. And the person really had no clue that the woman who posted the placenta jerky was the type to do that? Really? If so, they’re lamer than I thought. No one forces anyone to look at the photos, remove the person from your newsfeed or delete them as a friend if you don’t like their practices. I’ve done it with a ton of political shit that I’m tired of hearing, but it never surprised me to see it, I knew those people were political when I added them. People who bitch when their crunchy granola friends actually post something crunchy granola are lame as hell.

  69. These pics don’t really bother me, but I don’t think I’d ever eat a placenta. The placenta is an organ. You don’t see me frying up an extracted organ like a kidney or a liver after someone had surgery- that’s still cannibalism.

  70. Starshine, the placenta is cleaned prior to the steaming process that is done according to Traditional Chinese Medicine.I steam the placenta with fresh lemon and ginger because they contain warming properities. During the steaming process pathogens and bacteria are destroyed.

    If the mother had meconium or a lot of fecal matter I thin rinse the placenta of a 1:1 ratio of distlled vinegar and water.

    Hope that helps!

  71. Shipoopi made me choke on my drink from laughing so hard.

    Sensible Madness… oh amen thank you.

  72. And you know what’s really lame? That Lamebook only posts the placenta stuff because it inflates their traffic and increases comments.

  73. Well, douche, what if one of their friends simply commented on the photo which was set so that everyone could see it? Then, without even being a friend of placenta (possibly also cat) lady, they would be subject to it and submit it.

  74. well at this point I’m no longer convulsion, cali, but preparing for the zombie apocalypse, as this is clearly the only thing this madness will lead to…

  75. Why is eating placenta any grosser than eating chicken livers, lamb brains or any of the other animal body parts humans insist on shoving into their mouths? Placenta is the only meat that does not require the animal to die in order for it to be consumed. A pregnant woman not only grows a baby, but a whole new organ! Isn’t that incredible?! I didn’t actually eat my placenta raw or even cooked. I’m 10 years vegetarian, so eating meat, even if it’s mine, doesn’t appeal to me. I chose to have mine dried, ground & placed inside capsules for me to swallow.
    Starshine, it’s obvious you’ve never had a baby. Either that or you suffer from the worst kind of self-loathing to describe the miracle of birth in such derogatory terms. My placenta never “fell upon” any of those things you describe. My midwife caught mine with her hands. I did all my pooping & peeing in the toilet or the tub.

    Try opening your minds & empowering yourselves with useful information rather than laughing at others in an effort to make your small selves feel big.

  76. I have been practicing “traditional Chinese Medicine” for years and let me tell you, eXtenze and got nothing on shark fin and rhino horn! I also get old ladies to lick my eyeballs clean when I get pink eye.

  77. Sensible, placentophagy isn’t done for shock value. I encourage you to prove me wrong that that placenta encapsulation has NO BENEFIT to mothers during the postpartum recovery. I’ve personally provided this service for about a dozen women and they SWEAR by it. I know about a hundred women who have had this done and they always swear how it helped to prevent postpartum depression for them, anemia, etc. But of course I’m sure you also don’t believe postpartum depression exist because you yourself have not experienced first hand.

    Don’t get me started on vitamins either. ;O)

  78. I do not recall saying eating lamb brain wasn’t gross… although now I KNOW the zombies are coming…

    I wasn’t being derogatory. I was putting it into perspective. You know, like Jonathan Swift, in “A Modest Proposal”?

    but okay I will open up my mind and empower myself with the ability to LAUGH at this.

  79. @YoMama the difference is that it came from a human and not an animal.

  80. YoMama, You could cut plenty of meat off a cow before it died. :)

    You’re just not trying hard enough

  81. Dear cali4niachef,

    You said the placenta is “thought to be”…all of those nice things you claimed. Please cite your sources. My guess is that none of them include properly conducted scientific studies.

    While I doubt there is any harm in a woman eating something that came out of her own body (and is not feces), we generally frown on such things in society: witness booger-eating, for example. Placenta milkshakes and jerky are at least as disgusting as booger-eating.

    For myself, I’m a believer in behaving as our instincts tell us to behave. We are members of the great ape family, and no other great apes eat their own placentas. Placenta-eating is done by prey animals or by pack predators who give birth alone, and who need to quickly conceal the evidence of their birth — any signs that a weak newborn animal is near, such as a tasty slab of placenta lying in the grass, is a big flashing neon sign for other animals to come and have an easy snack. Apes generally do not have to deal with that kind of predation during birth and so are not evolutionarily disposed toward consuming their placentas. In short: humans are apes, not dogs or deer. Placenta-eating is unnatural for our species.

    Finally, I would like to propose the idea that by supporting traditional Chinese medicine, and encouraging your clients to do so, you are directly contributing to the rapid decline of several critically endangered species that are hunted for your hokey precious Chinese herb-quackery. The white rhino and all species of tiger are good examples, but there are more. You are also directly contributing to the needless and very horrendous suffering of other species, such as all the Asian bears that are kept in deplorable captive conditions and tortured so that their bile can be harvested for Chinese medicine. Even if you do not personally use rhino horn or bear bile in your “treatments,” the mere fact that you are lending credence to the bullshit of traditional Chinese medicine means that you are complicit in the suffering and loss of so many other species. Wake up, Earth Mother, and get a brain.

    P.s. Before you screech about how I hate women and childbirth, you’re wrong. I’m a huge supporter of natural birth and was an assistant coach at my sister’s two natural home births. At neither of which she ate her own placenta.

  82. Cali4niachef,

    I dare you to prove that sugar pills have NO BENEFIT to people that don’t know they’re sugar pills!

  83. Who gives a fuck? People can do whatever they want with their bloody placenta and they can post as many pictures as they want on their profile! I don’t know about everyone else who has been whinging about people posting placenta photos but I just wouldn’t open the album or, even more likely, wouldn’t be friends with a frickin’ PLACENTA ENCAPSULATOR! Far out. /rant

  84. “Well, douche, what if one of their friends simply commented on the photo which was set so that everyone could see it? Then, without even being a friend of placenta (possibly also cat) lady, they would be subject to it and submit it.”

    That’s why my first comment here says not to make it public, which I believe to be true of any photograph, sensitive material or not. I think people who don’t use “Friends only” or even limit it to certain friends is irresponsible, regardless of content.

    And I agree with Natasha.

  85. Natasha,

    !ho gives a rip if we think it’s gross/funny? Also, since the photos are probably not restricted in her profile, simply having a friend comment on it could cause it to show in your feed.

  86. This is a ludicrous argument, and nobody will ever convince anyone else of their point of view. I’ll just say this: you need to learn what the scientific method is and how it’s applied to find actual answers to these things. Anectodal evidence from women self-reporting that which they want to be true is not in any way valid scientific data. I’m sure you have a thriving business selling snake oil to gullible women, and I’m sure you have a deep-seated belief in it, and nothing is going to change that. I have a deep-seated belief, based on the testimony of thousands, that sacrificing virgins to my local volcano keeps it from erupting. You can stick to your superstitious nonsense and I’ll stick to mine. I’m not going to put pictures of the burned corpses of the virgins I sacrifice on my Facebook page, though. I have too much class for that.

  87. More for you, cali4niachef:

    “I encourage you to prove me wrong that that placenta encapsulation has NO BENEFIT to mothers during the postpartum recovery.”

    Sorry, but the person making the claim must provide the evidence. YOU are claiming that placentophagy benefits mothers; therefore it is up to YOU to PROVE it. It is not up to the person doubting you to prove that you’re wrong. That’s not how critical thought works, but you are clearly unfamiliar with the concept of critical thought.

    “I’ve personally provided this service for about a dozen women and they SWEAR by it. I know about a hundred women who have had this done and they always swear how it helped to prevent postpartum depression for them, anemia, etc.”

    You are providing anecdotal evidence, which is about as useful as all that anecdotal evidence that acupuncture and reflexology really work. Cite double-blind scientific studies or you’re just talking out your ass.

    “But of course I’m sure you also don’t believe postpartum depression exist because you yourself have not experienced first hand.”

    Oh, jesus christ. Nice strawman. We’re people with brains, not Scientologists.

    “Don’t get me started on vitamins either. ;O)”

    Don’t get me started on traditional Chinese medicine, you placenta-chowing bear-torturer.

  88. @Natasha.

    sometimes we people just LIKE to be grossed out and point our fingers and go “OMG EW WTF is WRONG with you?!”

  89. *Who

  90. We must fight for our right to make fun of people on the internet!

  91. Turkey, If you had noticed I already posted a link a few comments above that cite resources to the scientific evidance. I’m not going to copy and paste it for you, you can read it at your leisure.

    If placenta is so “unnatural for our species” as you say then why do all over the world so many cultures still practice this custom today thousands of years later? Or is that we, who live in industrialized nations have lost touch with our human instincts?

    A thought to ponder.

  92. @Shipoopi YES FIGHT ON.

    @Cali … because the world is full of many many stupid and strange people… that’s why. And because God never told me to eat my placenta, an’ if God didn’ tell me too I ain’ gonna do it, mkaii?

    … okay now I may be becoming slightly irrational and ridiculous. But if logic won’t convince you, maybe stupidity will… after all it is your language. =D

  93. AnonymousBastard

    To use the defense “It’s their page to do with as they please and you have a choice not to look” could be used for most submissions on this site. You have a right to be a flipping retard but no one defends it.

  94. Wow. TurkeyVulture FTW. That was amazing. I bow my head to you.

  95. What amazes me is simply because you don’t find value in a service I provide you have to insult my intelligence? Are you not capable of debating without a virtual hair pulling and shin kicking?

    Come on – grow up.

  96. I once saw about 30 turkeyvultures all grouped together about 30 yards away in a field. It was rather intimidating. I found them rather reasonable though, and quit using endangered bats as a remedy for the common cold that day.

  97. Oh I’m capable of it, when I find that the argument is one of intellect. Once I see it’s just completely hysterical, I type whatever random bs comes to mind.

  98. I am sorry if I kicked your shin cali, I was aiming for the placenta. My aim has been a little off lately, maybe I need to eat some more of myself…

  99. LOL I wasnt speaking to you Shipoopi. I find you rather amusing :O)

  100. TurkeyVulture — amen.

    Did nobody else see this gem from YoMomma?

    “I’m 10 years vegetarian, so eating meat, even if it’s mine, doesn’t appeal to me. I chose to have mine dried, ground & placed inside capsules for me to swallow.”

    I’m sorry, you ate meat. Beef can be dried, ground and placed in capsules and it is still fucking beef. You failed at being a vegetarian. Way to waste ten years.

  101. @Cum Dumpster (that name made me laugh)

    there were too many gems to focus and comment on them all.

    Well it’s the same argument as being vegetarian but eating fish. wtf, yeah, fish aren’t alive or animals or anything…

  102. I’ve heard of something else that comes from our bodies that can be swallowed that helps with complexion. I don’t think it was Chinese medicine though. Hmm, Jenna Jameson medicine maybe?

  103. #7, Father Sha,

    Boy, did you call that one right. This thread went downhill, fast.

    And I’m not interested in reading through every post so I’m not if this has been addressed, but wouldn’t turning a placenta into jerky SIGNIFICANTLY REDUCE ITS HEALTH BENEFITS?

    Actually, nobody answer that. I’m never coming back to this thread anyway. Ever.

  104. Should read *not sure if this has been addressed*

    See? I just want out of here! Now!!


  105. @Shipoopi, you know, I think Cum Dumpster may know the answer to this…

  106. Sha : throws rope at Bucky , climb out of this hellhole my friend

  107. MsBuzzkillington

    To YoMama… how is it any grosser than eating liver and brains? Um it is NOT. Some people may eat these things, but the majority of the population dry heaves at the thought of eating lamb brains. Just like they dry heave at the thought of eating the placenta.

    and To cali… Animal Milk is unnatural for us to drink and yet millions of people do it. Just because a lot of people do it, doesn’t make it right.

  108. Oh dear, this entertaining thread is exactly why I keep coming back to the LB comments! I wish to award gold stars to so many of you today!

    Another little detail left out of the “but OTHER mammals do it” rant is that mammals that eat their own placentas as a way of minimizing predator danger after unattended birth also eat their own young with fair regularity. It’s nature’s way. I’m sure this is quite nutritional as well. And after all, it’s created from, and expelled by, the mother’s own body.

    I’ve been accused of being granola crunchy in my own life, and if you want to eat your own innards, have at you. Just stop it with the pseudo-science and and Voo-doo. Oh, and also with the “LOOKY, LOOKY HOW ‘GREEN’ AND EARTH MOTHER I AM, YOU MERE MORTALS!”

  109. @MsBuzzkillington

    Oh, how droll!

  110. Educate and disturb the masses – check.

    My job here is done :O)


  111. AnonymousBastard

    All I got from the comments is that if I have a disabled child I should eat it.

  112. This is ridiculous:

    a) the placenta is both medical waste and something your body is trying to get rid of. Why on earth would you eat it? If you had to get a leg amputated, would you ask them to save that so you could eat it too?

    b) as others have pointed out, the great apes do not eat their placentas. As for people from other cultures, so what? Why do you assume that if people live in a bush in Africa they are living a truer and healthier life than we are? Here’s a hint – infant mortality and death in childbirth are lower in countries with Westernized medicine. Do you have any ideas why that might be?

    c) you are such a snotty bitch to think that feeding formula is disgusting – I see you live in the world of ‘everything I do with my body is above reproach, but what you do with yours is open to criticism by all’. There are perfectly valid reasons why people would bottle-feed – a friend of mine had serious complications (related to preeclampsia) after childbirth, requiring hospitalization and medication. Her husband lovingly bottle-fed their infant son for weeks at home while she recovered (and the kid is perfectly healthy today). What would you have these people do? There are situations wherein you HAVE to use formula, there are no situations in which you HAVE to eat your placenta.

  113. Well said pedore. Thank you.

  114. Pedore, I couldn’t have worded it better myself. I had to bottle feed my son, and cannot stand stuck up bitches who look down on me, and many other women, for it. They should go sit on a spike.

  115. pedore is a moron.
    There is NO reason where you HAVE to formula feed. Expressed milk is second choice, donated milk is 3′rd choice, goats milk is 4′th choice. Formula is a distant FIFTH choice.
    Any good mother will use donated milk before formula.

    And, yes, there are cases when digesting placenta is ideal. It’s a proven medical fact that a dime sized piece of fresh placenta will stop postpartum hemorrhage. All the mother has to do is swallow it back with some water.
    That practice has prevented many unnecessary hospital transfers.

  116. Girlpants, you are worried about stuckup bitches when you should be worried about taking better care of your son. Feeding is the easy part. If you can’t feed him properly what are you going to do when the hard part comes?

  117. I didn’t read everything, but I’ve got the general idea, and pedore, I have to say you’re quite right there in your first line.

    The placenta is good for the 9 month gestation, it is the vehicle that supplies the foetus everything it needs for THAT period… oxygen as well as nutrients.

    Why does a pregnancy last 9 months?, cos that’s all the placenta is designed for, a post birth placenta is more often than not, very degraded, and not much good for anything.

    With regard to eating it for all the alleged values, what a load of crap. I think this is some kinda shock value thing, if that’s what you’re into, placenta eating lady, then knock yourself out.

    Me, if I had a placenta handy, I’d more than likely give it to my little lesbian dog, she likes eating the crotch out of my underwear, so I’m sure she’d LOVE my placenta.

  118. you americans are fucking crazy and gross

  119. Get off your damn high horse, Lilac. Girlpants DID feed her son – perfectly healthy, nutritious formula. I’m sure he grew up (or is growing up) normal and happy. It’s not like she starved him. Ask around, you’d be surprised how many people you know were bottle-fed – and came out totally normal. And how many were breast fed and think posting pictures of their bodily organs on Facebook is okay.

    As for expressed milk – not a good idea when the mother is on heavy medications that can be passed to the child. Why you get to be the arbitror of what the 3rd and 4th choices are, and that other people are not ‘good mothers’, I don’t know.

    Here’s a nice quote for you, to round this out:

    “Dr Maggie Blott, a spokeswoman for the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists, there’s no medical justification [for eating placenta] at all.
    “Animals eat their placenta to get nutrition – but when people are already well-nourished, there is no benefit, there is no reason to do it,”"

  120. AnonymousBastard

    Lilac, I’m sure there are plenty of good mothers that carefully research formula and find one suitable for their child.

    This has nothing to do with placenta and it’s benefits. It has everything to do with taking and posting pictures to facebook. There are just some things that don’t need to be shared, let alone with a visual.

  121. I was planning on fixing steak or even grilling hamburgers tonight.

    I don’t think that’s going to happen now.

  122. @ Cali comment #53…..SCREW YOU for making that comment about bottle fed babies. i have 3 kids, who were and one is, bottle fed. it was the only way i could feed them. keep your f****** mouth shut.

  123. Walkers Placenta Flavour crisps?

  124. You know, I don’t care about the whole ‘eat the placenta or not?’ debate, but I have to say I lol’d at the little sales demonstration thing we got given about fifty or so comments back.

  125. pedore#120… no health benefits? So you (and the doctor you quoted) think its just better to stick a mom who MAY be experiencing PPD (post partum depression) on up to SIX different psychotropic drugs… rather than a placenta pill? Because the REAL HORMONES inside of the placenta is equal to that of SIX different drugs on the market prescribed to women. REAL HORMONES that the MOTHER herself MADE in her body. Returned to her to help balance her.

    How many postpartum mothers have you ever know that were SO emotional that they cried all the time at the littlest things? Guess what thats a HORMONE IMBALANCE. Sure its “normal” but it can ALSO be helped.

    So lets see, real natural hormones, or synthetic psychotropic drugs???

  126. @105 – guzzling cum offers NUMEROUS health benefits! Clear skin, reduction in post-partum depression, livelier breast milk, more aerodynamic fetuses (fetii?).. not to mention it is a real fun time.

  127. I can’t believe some of the crap I’m reading here.

    The “baby blues” in the first week or so post delivery is normal, and no chowing down on a fucking placenta will help that.
    It will right itself as the body readjusts hormonally.
    And that’s most of the time… some mothers need a little medical intervention and/or counselling during this time.

    The more serious post partum depression and even psychosis, is something that can ONLY be treated medically, it can be a life threatening condition to both mother and baby.
    No placenta will save you.

  128. ohmigawwssh.

    I will re-enter at this point.

    and say “dat shiieet doesn’t belong in that gurl’z hand, nor on the interwebz, dis is an epic lamebook submission, eww”

    and thereby bring the comments back to the initial topic, fully aware of the fact that in half an hour it will be back where it is now. Which is also fine, I guess. *goes to make popcorn and continue reading the epic battle*

  129. wendy46121, please provide a cite that says that there are the equivalent of 6 psychotrophic drugs in a placenta, and that they exist in high enough quantities to affect the mother if she eats said placenta. Not a cite from one of those Earth-mother-you’re-killing-your-baby-if-you-don’t-breastfeed-until-he’s-8, an actual scientific, peer-reviewed cite.

    Most people are emotional post-partum, and that will wane naturally with time. Frankly I’d be worried if someone wasn’t emotional after squeezing a little crotchfruit out. Not all mothers need psychotropic drugs, but if they do it’s probably better to get them in a form that is dosed properly and controlled by a qualified doctor. Are you just one of those people who thinks all psychological illnesses are not real diseases and don’t need to be treated as such?

    Also, I didn’t say there were no health benifits to eating placenta, a qualified obstetrician who is the head of a major college said that. Why don’t you share your credentials so we know who is likely more knowledgable?

  130. I don’t know what’s lamer…this post or the debate raging on in the comments beneath it.

    I’m a birth doula. I appreciate the placenta, etc. I still think it’s gross.

  131. No one is listening to us pedore!

    Idiots are what they are, don’t waste your insight here any further, I sure as hell ain’t gonna bother anymore.

  132. F*** yeah! Placenta jerkey, mmmm mmm good! I’ll just shove my arm right up in there, grab some placenta and throw it on the BBQ! hell, maybe I’ll go eat some babies while I’m at it! Nothing like some fresh fetus in the morning!

  133. yikes

  134. WTF is WRONG with British women? First, they can’t form a comprehensive sentence without using some dumbass leet-speak/emoticons. Second, they eat their placentas!!! WTF WTF WTF???

  135. Sammy,
    If thats the only way *could* nourish your children no one is knocking you for that. It’s there for those with medical need. However if thats the only way you would nourish your children then there is a difference. My 2nd son was supplmented at 6wks when i was in the hospiital trying not to die from a ruptured gangrene abcessed appendix, I’m grateful that formula was available because obviously I had no milk stored. No one can anticipate such a thing.

    This is one of my favorite breastfeeding quotes:
    “Women should not feel guilty if they are unable to breastfeed, but they should feel guilty if they are unwilling to do so, and they should be intellectually honest enough to know the difference.” -Elizabeth Gene

    If someone is simply giving up because it’s too hard or they encountered an obstacle or two I have no compassion for them.

    This is my personal nursing stories/experience…
    I come from a family of non-breast feeders; come to think of it growing up I don’t think I ever saw anyone breastfeed. However when I got pregnant I knew I would breastfeed. I knew little about breastfeeding so during my pregnancy I read several breastfeeding books and took a class too educate myself the best way I knew how. I was to deliver in a birth center but at 41wks 1d I was induced at a hospital because my amniotic fluid levels were low, I was devastated. Though my birth had not gone as planned I refused to let breastfeeding go the same way. I would not be robbed of this experience either. Fortunately we had no real complications during birth so I was able to my son to breast less than an hour after birth.

    I was very confident and sure that we would be able to do this. We had no latch or positioning problems. Actually when my milk came in I didn’t even know until I saw milk dribble down his chin. I expected the rock hard full breasts like Pamela Anderson like everyone equated it to. The first few months were a breeze, not a single problem.

    Somewhere around the fourth or fifth month I got my first crack. I applied some EBM and lanolin, it healed within a weak. Then another crack, and then another. Around the 7th month I had a crack on my right nipple that just wouldn’t heal. I had done everything I had done to heal the other cracks but nothing worked. After seeing two different LC’s three times and talking to 4 or 5 LC’s we finally diagnosed it as thrush. Both my baby and I had no signs except a nasty crack that would not heal and shiny red nipples. The crack was excruciating, every time I nursed I wanted to holler out in pain and curl my toes. Since I had thrush I couldn’t use my milk to heal the crack because of the thrush in the milk. I couldn’t use lanolin either because it is a moisture barrier. I ended up using an OTC antibiotic ointment for four days on the advice of another LC. I tried everything natural first to get rid of thrush for about two weeks: gentian violet, grapefruit seed extract, taking 6-10 acidophilus capsules a day, weak vinegar rinse after nursing, drinking a GSE solution, etc. Nothing worked. I ended up getting a two week script for some fluconzle (diflucan) and that finally did the job.

    Around the 9th month I thought I had gotten a milk blister. A few days into what I thought was a milk blister it got increasingly worse. After I saw two IBCLC they said it was an abscess. An abscess? How? I haven’t even had a plugged duct or mastitis. But leave it to me to get something rare. My OB sent me to the ER to have it treated, which was a pain in the ass. Fortunately it didn’t need to be drained. Anyway I was given about a week of antibiotics and had to see an LC or my Dr a few days after have taken the antibiotics to make sure it was improving. When I saw them it was getting better. Another week went by and it wasn’t getting better fast enough. After talking to two of the LC’s I spoke to regularly they told me to stop applying EBM and lanolin. After each nursing I was to wash it with soap and water then apply an OTC antibiotic cream. It took about a month or two to heal.

    I actually had FIVE consecutive months of breastfeeding problems. At times I swear my nipples were just going to fall off! At 17 months my nipples become very itchy and red but I had no pain during nursing. I used lanolin for several weeks but found no relief. After talking to my boss (IBCLC) and comparing my nipples with pictures she suggested it was psoriasis. Psoriasis! I had never heard of such a thing. I got some OTC psoriasis treatment and after two applications the symptoms were gone. I never once supplemented during the five months even when people told me I should wean because of everything I had been through in such a short amount of time.

    I decided to start the weaning process when I shattered my right elbow and broke my humerus roller-blading. I was in the hospital for a few days.i had to have major arm surgery (nearly 3 hours) that lasted longer than the orthopedic surgeon anticipated because I shattered my elbow in to cornflake size pieces. I needed permanent metal plates, screws and staples. I have so much metal in my arm that I set off metal detectors. I guess I will have to arrive earlier at airports, LOL. I have pictures posted at my journal. It was so bad I was on morphine and Percocet in the hospital. Unfortunately I am right handed so I don’t have much use of my right arm, I couldn’t even write. I could not dress myself; I could not even grinds beans to brew a simple pot of coffee. My husband has to help me bathe. I did not drive for 2 wks either. I had three months of intensive physical therapy.

    We had planned to start night weaning in mid-June but obviously it happened while I was in the hospital. I knew it was time to wean, no question about it. Before this I had been through so much during nursing. I’ve battled a handful of cracks, one after the other, thrush that was undetectable to LC’s I worked with an unbeatable with natural remedies, an abscess that took two months to heal that I nursed through, psoriasis on my nipple. I actually had FIVE CONSECUTIVE MONTHS of breastfeeding problems. I was exhausted.

    I was scared every time I nursed my acrobatic toddler will kick my very painful arm. I needed rest. I needed to recover so my arm can heal. It took us five months to wean because I did it very slowly and gently. I ended up nursing until I was 5 months pregnant. We nursed for 26 months.

    When DS#2(Jonas) was 6wks old I had an emergency open appendectomy. My appendix had ruptured; it was also gang-green and abscessed. The doctor wasn’t sure if I was going to live or die; it was very scary. I was in the hospital for a week and pumped several times a day. I would send breast milk home with my husband and he would supplement after running out of the breast milk. Upon returning home my supply was compromised but I just nursed exclusively and took fenugreek.

    Then in December I was diagnosed with Graves Disease, severe hyperthyroidism, when my son was 11 months old. My thyroid hormone levels were FOUR times the normal amount and my thyroid had increased twice the size. I was having ALL the classic symptoms of Graves, including heart palpitations, The normal course of treatment is I-131, radioactive iodine. That would mean permanent weaning. I would have to be quarantined from my family for a few days and would not be able to hold my children for a week. I-131 would also mean I would eventually develop hypothyroidism and it would affect my fertility. Against two endocrinologist’s advice I decided to try a low dose of PTU, an ant thyroid drug and took a beta-blocker for the heart palpitations. Both safe doses for nursing. The Endos were skeptic it would work. 7wks after starting treatment I went back and my thyroid numbers were near normal!!!! Here I am still nursing at 26 months.

    I am SO proud of all that I’ve over come and nursed through. I know most women would’ve give up. Breastfeeding is natural but not always easy. Some women face hurdles that others don’t. I see it all the time with the women I work with. While some women are blessed with perfect nipples they may have a baby that has a short frenulum with a high palette and others may have flat or inverted nipples and the baby can’t latch. They are tough hurdles to overcome. However with the right support from someone truly knowledgeable they can usually be overcome.

    I do not say that to be boastful but to say I know firsthand that breastfeeding isn’t always easy but it is so worth it to stick at it :o )

  136. < American

  137. Whilst it is less common for women to eat their own placenta it is, as somebody else pointed out, definitely more moral than eating animals. Obviously because animals suffer for the meat you eat, plus you could probably make a case if you argued that if there is a nutritious edible piece of food at your disposal, it would be wrong to throw it away.

    If you’re stuck on the “eww” factor of this, it just means you’re not smart enough to think about what really matters. I approve of all the scientific debates that have been going on though, and although I doubt there are many (important)health benefits to eating your own placenta, I definitely don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. Also NO-ONE IS GOING TO READ YOUR AUTOBIOGRAPHY YOU CRAZY WOMAN^.

  138. Good Lord, Nately… you’re a sensible arbitrator. I salute you.

  139. I am totally submitting this entire thread to STFUParents.

  140. My cat just gave birth and one of the litter died.

    she ate the dead kitty.

    she left the placenta.

    enough said

  141. Placenta, Placenta, bo-bacenta
    Banana-fana fo-facenta

  142. 15 paragraphs, really??! You expect anyone to read 3.5 pages of text. You’re not that interesting or important, go away.

  143. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

  144. AnonymousBastard

    God I must be bored. I read the whole thing.

    That was the most masturbatory piece of garbage I’ve read on the internet.

    My sister breast fed. My brother’s wife chose the bottle (milk never came in). 7 years later, sis’s son is borderline mentally retarded and bro’s kid gets straight A’s. Her son is aggressive and has multiple behavioral issues. His doesn’t. I’m sure that has nothing to do with how they fed their children but if the roles were reversed you’d cite my story as proof that titty-juice is the only option.

    When did you have time to write all that out? I figured a stellar mother such as yourself would be too busy being a super mom to waste the afternoon on lamebook.

  145. Seriously? You know what, I breastfed my first son until my milk, literally, ran out. And that was only 4 months. Nothing I could do would get my supply up. So I switched directly to formula. He’s never been sick a day in his life, and he’s 2 1/2 now. I breastfed my second son until he was 7 months old, and then I voluntarily stopped because that’s all he wanted me for, and I knew if we switched to the bottle, he’d be less clingy and I’d actually be able to play and interact with him. He’s now 8 months old, crawling, pulling up to stand, and cruising along the furniture. Also has never been sick.
    There’s nothing wrong with formula, and I would ABSOLUTELY choose formula over another woman’s donated milk, because that idea is disgusting to me – having my child consume another woman’s breastmilk. So, shut up about the formula/breastmilk non-issue.

    As far as the placenta-eating thing goes, if you want to do it, fine. But my stance on it remains the same as it does in regards to eating bugs, drinking cow urine, eating bull testicles, etc. “Just because your body can process it, doesn’t mean you should eat it.”

  146. Christ on a cracker

    I bet that the “ceremonial purposes” she’s talking about is to use it to summon the devil.

    Why all the trouble when for 5 bucks I’ll show up and turn water into wine.

  147. Eating placentas is ridiculous. Animals do it in the wild so there is not a bloody mass lying around to attract predators and because they don’t have hospital staff or family to go to a kitchen and bring them food. There is no need at all for humans to eat placentas. If people want to do it then fine, go for it, but the benefits are spurious – just take an iron pill.

    I’ve had two babies and didn’t even want to see my placentas.

    And if you like placenta pics and enjoy mocking the mombies who post them check out STFU, Parents – http://stfuparents.tumblr.com/

  148. OK, I have to add more. Eating a placenta is really auto-cannibalism and some of the cells are from the baby too which is pretty disgusting. If you had a limb amputated you wouldn’t roast it up and eat it to help your recovery.

    I’m just going to say it – people who eat placentas are ignorant hippies who think it makes them better than other mothers.

  149. Cali4niachef, your head is so far up your own twat, I’ll bet you’re nibbling on your own placenta right now.

  150. cali4niachef – you’re idealistic enough to eat placenta but not enough to show compassion for other mothers? Not every woman can have natural births (I didn’t), not every woman can breastfeed (I did) but every mother does what she believes is right and caring for a child, IN ANY FORM, is an important job that women should be supported in and congratulated for.

  151. MonkeyCMonkeyDo

    * phew * my brain is numb from reading all this!

  152. Hahaha. Debates about parenthood and what benefits babies most amuse me greatly. Eating placentas, breastfeeding – there seems to be a multitude of rules and/or ‘helpful suggestions’ that new mothers should follow otherwise they are exposed to guilt and ridicule.

    I’m one of those ‘evil’ mothers who chose formula feeding at various stages of my children’s lives. I breastfed my first son until he was about 4 months old when he suddenly and most unexpectedly grew a tooth. He bit me. I said ‘Eff that!’ and he went straight on the bottle.

    I bottle fed my newborn twins from about three weeks of age. I did so because I had a 6 year old, a toddler still in nappies, newborn twins, a partner who worked interstate and I was freaking TIRED. You know a great cure for post partum depression? SLEEP! I had a home visit from a nurse who started to berate me for bottle feeding and I made the helpful suggestion that instead of making me feel guilty, perhaps she could do a load of my laundry or prepare me something for dinner while I had a little nap. Not surprisingly, she was unprepared to do so, and neither were my family and friends.

    Oh and by the way, to further confirm that I am an evil mother, I also used to dip their pacifiers in honey, put them to sleep on their bellies and let them scream for ages until I felt ready to deal with them. Also, they all attended long day care from an early age while I selfishly went back to work. Additionally, the night before I used to put them all to sleep in clothes they would be wearing to day care the next morning. :D

    At the moment, my very happy and healthy sons are playing together nicely. The sound of their laughter is starting to bug me though so I may have to lock them in the cupboard for awhile. :D

    If anyone else would like more hints on how to be a horribly selfish and evil mother, hit me up.

  153. well, having read all the comments, all I have to say is that I totally thought that the placenta jerky was just dried mushroom…

  154. Yes I think eating placenta is disgusting.
    Its a free world so you can do what you please, eat your placenta or put it where you like. If it feels like it helps you then good for you. Please don’t tell me that because I don’t agree with you that I’m wrong.
    ‘thought to’ ‘may help’ ‘believed to’ ………. not overwhelming evidence.
    If you are so concerned about taking tablets try a good diet.
    Lilac as for your breast feeding Nazi attitude, while I agree breastfeeding is best in an ideal world, it is not always possible for women to do. I know plenty of children fed on formula who are perfectly healthy physically, mentally and emotionally.
    Your comment on donated breast milk WTF??????????????????
    I’m done.

    To everyone else have a great day : )

  155. Not sure how any of you got that women who dont/arent able to breastfeed or have natural births are “evil” or “lesser mothers”. I never said it nor implied it, nor do I believe it to be true.

    “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” – E. Roosevelt

  156. Bastard, copy and paste honey. Copy and paste. I wouldn’t waste my time typing all that out for here ;O)

  157. @sanity_fair: I would totally be your bff just from that comment.

  158. YorkshirebornNBread

    ratfish: FTW

  159. I call bullshit on anyone who claims their *whatever age* child has NEVER been sick a day in their life. BULL FUCKING SHIT. Every fucking Formula feeding woman says that shit! If that shit WAS true, then my kids doctor would be OUT OF BUSINESS (because she wasnt very supportive of breastfeeding, most of her patients are formula fed) So yea.. BULLLL SHIT.

    #2 I hate women who knowingly make shitty decisions (and I am NOT talking of formula feeding exclusively here, there are TONS of shitty decisions parents make… like for example Putting SODA in a kids bottle) and then act all proud of it like they are just the BEES KNEES. “Yea I absue and neglect my little rugrats, but since they dont know any better they love me anyways!!!!” Yea, trust me, if your kids experienced what a REAL parent was like for awhile, they wouldn’t want to go back.

  160. Good read… regular participants never fail to entertain.

    As for the Pro Cannibalism group, I think WIKI summarize it best. I quote:

    The reasons for cannibalism include the following:

    * As sanctioned by a cultural norm
    * By necessity in extreme situations of famine
    * Caused by insanity or social deviancy

    Good day all :)

  161. Jayde’s never met any punctuation apparently.

  162. @wendy46121: I formula fed my kids. I tried to b.f and it/I didnt work out. I have zero regrets. My kids have been sick. My son has had the stomach flu so bad once I thought I had to bust out diapers. He was pretty much sick his entire first year of school. Being around all those other germy kids, didnt help. And Im sure not all of them were breast fed. Ive seen breastfed kids and some of em are as dumb as toast. It doesnt make smarter more special babies. Neither does formula. And if feeding my kids from a bottle makes me a shitty Mom than so be it. I could care less what anyone thinks. Im writing this now bc Im bored more than a need prove a point.

  163. I just had to say that I love your name Bucky. Dead Milkmen rule. C:

  164. Me: Of course breastmilk doesnt mean children will be exmept from ever being sick or a gaurantee they will be brillant like Einstein. But it does mean they will most certainly be sick LESS then if they had not been nursed, their IQ will be higher, they will recover faster from an illness, be less likely to develop diabetes, better jaw development, etc.

    So those children who were breastfed and dumb as toast, just imagine if their mother had NOT breastfed them LMAO. Breastmilk doesnt cure inherited “stupid genes” from parents unfortunately ;O)

  165. Dear cali4niachef:

    You are why I am glad I chose not to breed. I understand why most people post on Lamebook. It’s often funny, it passes time, even the most compassionate might need a laugh at someone else’s expense (especially when it’s merited). But why are you here? Why are you even looking at these posts? Isn’t there some kind of law or moral obligation that prevents placenta encapsulating, ex-military, child rearing, long time Christians such as you from even looking at sites such as this? Shouldn’t you be spending less time here and more time raising your spirited/high need child? Or is that how placenta encapsulation proselytizing happens, by trolling weird sites for mention of placentas?

  166. I prefer breastfed babies. They’re used to the fleshy texture of a real nipple, so the transition to my penis is much smoother.

  167. So, if you are breastfed, you become Wolverine. And if you’re not, you become Samuel Jackson in Unbreakable…

    GODDAMMIT MOM! I wanna be fuckin Wolverine!

  168. I think the fact, that cali4niachef wrote approx. 20 comments to defend “placenta” theory, is quite self explanatory. The “desperation to reinforce a point” is relative to ” the feeling of insecurity about it”.

  169. AnonymousBastard

    God damn it Soup

  170. This subject is much like any typical opinion. All opinions will, in fact, be considers nothing more or nothing less. Thus, you will have those who agree and those who disagree.

    As for me, I find devouring a placenta to be utterly repulsive. Then again, I find eating broccoli repulsive as well. Sure, they may have medical benefits, but hell, no thanks. Researching about either of them will never win me over. Unless you get a million dollars for it.

    To me, eating a placenta should be on Fear Factor along with the cow’s testicles. That’s just my opinion. Not stating it as a fact.

    If anyone happens to remember that plane that crashed YEARS ago in some mountains and that the people resulting in cannibilism of the dead…Yeah, I can understand why. But, still fucking repulsive and disgusting. Goldmember ate his dried up skin, that’s disgusting as well.

    Just like I love sushi and a lot of people say: ‘ew, gross!’ Do I try to win them over and post a bunch of medical benefits and all that stuff? No. Because they think its gross and let them. Who the fuck cares?

    6 billion people in the world and we are never going to think alike.

    While many of these all-natural mothers (Note: I said many, not all) are so die-hard on these ‘natural’ medicines and what not… a lot of times you’ll see them refusing medical treatment that could in fact save a child’s life. Yet, they are so stubborn in their beliefs that they rather trust someone who reads ancient/old medical heebiejeebie shit from back in the day.

    And if you’d like to use animals as an example to help support eating a placenta then do not most animals kill and eat their own young that show signs of sickness and/or mental disorders? Does not the runt often die do to neglect? Technically, we are animals, yet to refer our behavior as animalistic is more of an insult than something to boast about.

    If we were to revert to our instincts, then it would be total anarchy. Rape, murder, survival of the fittest, etc. would become dominant.

    Then, back to the animals, let’s take dogs in example. I train dogs and I come across tons of them. Like humans, they all have different personalities. And almost all dogs are breast-er-teat? fed. Yet, I see one sibling smart as a whip and the other dumber than a rock.

    As with my daughter, she’s almost two now and has been formula-fed. When she was in daycare for a short time, they bumped her up to children older than her due to her intelligence and social skills. She has been sick, stomach flu and cold here and there, but all children get sick of course.

    And I’m glad she was, because it gives a chance for the father to experience that bonding between his baby. While breast-feeding may have its advantages, just as with everything, it also has its disadvantages.

    If the mother has an infection/sick, they pass that on to their child. As with one girl who commented earlier, the child can sometimes view the mother as only a food source. Etc, etc.

    Not bashing breast-feeding, if you do it, then I do not disapprove. But, just know, that every ‘scientific’ studies are not always accurate.

    Some say 1 out of 4 people have mental/social disorders, but they don’t know for a fact. Guestimating. Have they studied every single person in the nation? No. Just a handful here and there.

    So, if a person finds this disgusting, oh the fuck well. If not, new friend for you.

    As for me and most people, I find it utterly repulsive. Just is. Eating something that came out of your nether regions? Even if cleaned? Give me a mad-cow diseased burger, as long as I don’t fucking know, I don’t care.

    And if I see a McPlacenta, I might change my mind if it becomes that popular. Maybe with some bbq sauce on it. Chopped onions…sauteed mushrooms…now we’re talking.

  171. why are people writing novels in their comments? too much scroll-y for front page-y.

  172. @nightmare As for me and most people, I find it utterly repulsive. Just is. Eating something that came out of your nether regions?

    Well, eating the second most depressing thing that came out of my wife’s vagina during delivery might be a little much, I don’t think you’re considering all the implications of your statement.

    If my wife reads this and stops swallowing I WILL KILL YOU!

  173. Correction: Anything redish that comes from nether regions. White creamy substances is good for the teeth…hair…face…helps improve…perkiness…

    There. Have I redeemed myself? :D

  174. I can’t believe there has been such an argument over this nonsense. I thought that LB was a place where lame/sick/disturbing/silly/stupid pictures were posted, we all get a giggle out of it and say how lame/sick/disturbing…it is and move on.

    FWIW, I have had 3 children and eaten ZERO batches of placenta jerkey. I did bite off my big left toe once for a protein defeciency.

  175. No, seriously. Google cali4niachef. Why in the world would anyone use on LB the same ID they use for MANY other things online, including their doula website? I hope you raise your kids to have more discretion than that.

  176. @cali and wendy

    My mother fed my two sisters and I formula and, none of us have low IQ’s or were really ever sick. Babies get sick, bottle fed or breast fed. Also my neice and two nephews were all bottle fed, guess what? They’re very smart children. So, why don’t you oh, I don’t know, come down from your high horses?

    Oh, and eating placenta is disgusting. I’ll take some vitamins over eating something that came out of my vag. Thanks though.

  177. All this talk about choice.

    I chose not to join facebook.

    It was the right decision.

  178. My god, and here I was thinking Lamebook was for amusing facebook posts! Somehow i’ve unwittingly stumbled onto some sort of pregnancy forum.

  179. Wow….. In my personal opinion, there is no such thing as a right way or wrong way to give birth/raise kids/feed kids, etc. As Siirenias said, it’s all about choice and I don’t think any choice is the right or wrong one – it’s the right one for each individual. I will not be relating a personal story here, simply because it is personal (and right) to me.

    I will, however, point out that the world is filled with individuals – those who were breastfed, those who ate their placenta’s, those who opted for formula, those who chose ceasarians and those who did none of the afore mentioned and opted for something else. In all these cases (or most), the child turned out perfectly fine. Just look around you at the individuals you associate with everyday – they were all raised differently and yet I am sure they are quite, quite normal/fine/happy etc.

    Over and out.


  180. @ nenc : For sure. It seems like eating placenta is a very strong issue for you…. and just saying that is fucking creepy guys

  181. wow… ok 180 posts… glad i only read as far as throwingtofu’s post at 18.
    jerky placenta sounds like some dance they’d teach in maternity classes pre- baby!

  182. Ben I’ve always used this screen name. I have nothing to hide :O)

    I find it rather fascinating that you took the effort to do some “research” on me LOL

  183. Thank you Soup for that comment at 167. Thank you.

    Mmm, Placenta Jerky.

  184. The cure to a woman’s post-partum isn’t eating the leftover goop from her future booger eater, it’s a pair of Irish Sunglasses and getting her ass back in the kitchen.

  185. Say…nobody has yet said what this stuff actually tastes like.

  186. Shipoopi, Sensible Madness, TurkeyVulture, pedore, etc… I just want to give you guys big shiny trophies. Seriously, thank you for being voices of reason here. You guys are awesome <3

  187. @cali
    “But it does mean they will most certainly be sick LESS then if they had not been nursed, their IQ will be higher, they will recover faster from an illness, be less likely to develop diabetes, better jaw development, etc.”

    I don’t know if this has already been addressed, but I’m a very healthy individual. In fact, I’ve never had the flu. If I’ve ever had a cold, it was so long ago that I don’t remember. I’ve never been so sick that I’ve had to call out of either school or work.

    My I.Q. is 147. I got a 98 on my ASVAB. I’ve always been in ‘advanced’ or ‘honors’ classes (by ‘always’ I mean ‘since the fourth grade’).

    My jaw, as far as I know, has developed just fine. I also do not have, nor show no signs of, diabetes.

    Of course, you’ll probably just come along and say that I’m an exception (or that I could have been so much more!), or something, but I was formula fed from the time I was an infant.

  188. *nor show ANY signs of


  189. lol

  190. cali4niachef – like Jessi, I was formula fed and show no signs of diabetes, jaw problems, etc. In fact, aside from the IQ one (for which evidence is spurious at best), I’ve never heard of any of the other ‘evils’ of breastfeeding. I’d ask for a cite (especially for the jaw one – WTF?), but I doubt you could provide anything other than your own website.

    and wendy46121 – if all the other kids are at the doctors because they were horribly abused by being breastfed and are therefore sick all the time, then what are your little angels doing there?

  191. Nothing could have prepared me for this. No, not even “Warning, gross”

  192. intolerable to bs

    seriously, if i hear one more person pull the whole “breast-feeding nazi” shit, im going to go ape shit! i breast fed for 6 months. my son started biting and that was the end. there is NOTHING wrong with formula! the most important part of breast-feeding is actually the clear stuff (sorry, didnt get a medical degree, just a regular MOM here) that has the important antibodies that help give the baby the immunities they need!! Miss Holistic Freak, you backpeddled when you were talking about bottle-feeding, maybe you should throughly re-read your comments before making yourself look any more stupid. how can you go from calling formula “crap in a can” to now saying how you “sympathize because you too formula feed your child”. just go away, do what you do peacefully instead of coming here where people come to LAUGH, pack up the soap box and be gone!!

    Nothing angers me more than people that make moms feel inadequate for not being able to breast feed. sometimes, things happen that make it to where it cant be done. i volunteer with mothers, and let me tell you, it hurts them bad enough to not have the chance to have that opportunity. the last thing moms, especially new moms that may already be facing post partum (and if anyone suggests eating a placenta, i swear!!!) is to have the damn breast feeding nazi on their ass. and to the one that says get a donor, yeah, thats something a bonding mother wants. people need to worry about their own business, get out of everyone else’s and worry about parenting their own. if you want to eat your whatever whatever, FINE, i dont want to hear it. you want to breast feed until your child is 7 and asking for a side of oreos, YUCK, and please stay at home, but FINE, if you have a harsh word because someone couldnt breast feed and she got some formula, SHUT UP!! its none of your damn business anyway!!!!~

  193. Polynesian’s (well… Native Hawi’ians) save the placenta and plant it in a ceremony. Can’t say I’ve heard of a religion that calls for eating it.

  194. ryennocerousrex

    There’s no ‘okina when you write the word “Hawaiian” considering “Hawaiian” isn’t a Hawaiian word.

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