What you experienced is known as a Poo-fart. What you want to aim for is a poo-ghost; this is like a fart, but without a sound and may appear to manifest several feet away from the originator.
I’m with slimjayz. I’m lovin’ vaginas that are so snug that they need to be pried open, and I’m offering my services to bust them open wherever the need arises… apart from in Tessanna’s case. She can keep over-achieving in the farting/pooing arena by herself.
Oh for fuck’s sake! I don’t usually get annoyed by things I read on this site, but these women (assuming that not all of the above were facebook rape) are an embarrassment to our gender. When will people learn that nobody — I repeat: NOBODY — wants to know about your period, yeast infection, or GYN visit, or your bodily excretions, be they gaseous, solid, liquid, or any combination of the aforementioned??!!!!
Margaret: Are you there God? It’s me, Margaret.
God: Yo, sup?
M: Ok, good, I’m glad I got your attention. I got my first period today, and I …
G: Whoa, whoa, whoa, tmi lil’ lady.
M: But God, I have some questions.
G: *Sigh*, Fine…. what do you want to know?
M: Well, for one, why am I bleeding? Did I do something bad?
G: Yes, next question.
M: Ummm, what did I do wrong?
G: All women are evil, that’s all, nothing you can do about it… next question.
M: Ok, What do I do with my panties? I’m embarrassed and don’t want my dad to find out.
G: Give them to the dog, he’ll eat ‘em, problem solved. Anything else? I’m at Ghandi’s birthday party and he’s about to open his presents.
M: Well, ummm, there was an earthquake in Haiti the other day… why did you let that happen? So many people died.
G: Ummm, yeah… sorry about that. Ya see, I was out back installing these solar panels on my deck and I took my eye off the world for just a few seconds and BAM, earthquake. Tell Haiti I’m sorry. Crap, I gotta go, they’re picking teams for Taboo and I don’t want to get stuck on Freud’s team, all of his clues involve his mom’s vagina… it’s super creepy.
Okay seriously, these posts along with probably close to every other post on here, are most likely pranks. My friends take people’s cell phones all the time and change their status to something stupid. That or people leave their FB profile logged in and people can mess around with it. The Lamebook posts are still funny but there’s no need for people to get all rude about what people say on their statuses. It’s most likely all just in good fun.