Thursday, April 14, 2011

Senior Status

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42 Comments

  1. first??

  2. IN SOVIET RUSSIA, STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVEEEEEEER IS FIRST!

  3. It’s cool, they’re third cousins. Totally legit.

  4. In c’est la vie.

  5. ifitwerentformyhorse

    In the south, they wouldn’t even be considered relatives.

  6. They’re barely related. Fair game.

  7. So I’ll admit that I had to look up what he meant by cowbell (because I’m not one who used to sit home on Saturday nights and watch skit comedy, I was too busy actually getting laid). Anyway, it wasn’t funny or lame. Now I’m just disappointed. Maybe I’m missing something?

  8. The lamest thing here is that Brittany didn’t even get the quote right. I know this because in the ’90s when this sketch aired, I was one who used to sit at home on Saturday nights watching comedy instead of being too busy getting laid. :P

  9. Emma and her BF are THIRD cousins. In some places, that’s about as unrelated as it gets.

  10. I have a friend who’s first boyfriend was apparently her third cousin, and they didn’t realize it for quite a few years when they went to a family reunion together. On prom night, she got knocked up, and when the baby was born, he had no eyelids. They had one more child together before they found out they were related, and she didn’t have eyelids either. After going to the doctor and doing many tests, they found out that because they were related, each child that they would have wouldn’t eyelids. They are no longer together of course, but are still very close.

    So…I would be careful if I was Emma. Definitely not harmless.

  11. Oh yeah…I heard about these kids that were born with no eyelids. They actually grafted the foreskin into eyelids.
    The surgeries were a great success.

    The only complication is that they’re both a bit
    cock-eyed…..But otherwise fine.

  12. The cowbell sketch is always funny in any situation.

    snowblower, way to get super defensive about being out of the loop on this one.

  13. My parents turned out to be 3rd cousins and I turned out fine health and mentally-wise. I wouldn’t worry about it too much, but there is always a chance of having children with abnormal defects. My sister was a still-born because she had no kidneys and other various issues. If you ever think of having kids, and have the money to do so, perhaps go to someone that can look over your DNA and see what chances you may have for developing a child with severe defects.

  14. snowblower is a douche

  15. The point is that they are related, and it’s of course a fun fact to know.

    Btw my aunt and her husband are first cousins, and there’s nothing strange in it, it’s compeletely legal and ok.

  16. I dated (fucked) a woman once, turns out it was my estranged grandma. Who knew.

  17. drchalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

    Mammalian DNA is more robust than people think. It takes several generations of successive inbreeding with siblings before any serious birth defects start to appear; let alone cousins and second cousins and whatnot. Cousins are sufficiently genetically distinct that they may as well not even be related. That’s what I tell my female cousins, anyway.

  18. hey… A good fuck is a good fuck. Don’t get ahead of yourselves and assume it’ll end in marriage and kids.
    Bang him for what he’s worth, then find someone else

  19. There shouldn’t be this many examples of people fucking their cousins. As if there aren’t enought people in the world for you to fuck without dipping into your own genepool.

  20. I had a similar situation arise with my twentieth wife. I fucked her Great-grandma.

    I say great, she was distinctly fucking average to be honest. She had the type of fuckhole that when you stick your cock up it there’s a good chance it’ll be coming back out with a dusty old womb stuck on it.

  21. You’d save her the trouble of a hysterectomy

  22. wandr That’s me summed up right there, always working out new ways to help pensioners with their womb removal requirements.

    Imamofo saving grannys, one dandruff box at a time.

  23. LOL! Super defensive? Ok. Not really. I just don’t get it. I thought maybe I was missing something. And I guess maybe I am a douche because I have never sat at home on a Saturday night and watched SNL. I’ve watched a few skits on you tube but mostly I don’t find those funny either. Oh well, I will just go sit in the corner and play with myself. :-(

  24. Corners are great for an ambush

  25. Help – what is a cowbell??? (apart from the obvious)

  26. @32ndson TOTALLY. AGREE.

    The rule is: if they could show up to the family reunion, they are OFF LIMITS.

  27. belle – urban dictionary it

    I have to say I agree with snowblower, though. Once figured out, it was a bit of a letdown. I guess you had to be there

  28. That’s no fucking rule of mine.

  29. 32ndson – sometimes it’s difficult to meet new people.

  30. thataintwhaturdaddysaid

    I just have to say that apparently inbreeding/birth defects are my new favorite topic her on lamebook.

    I also have to point out that snowblower, I’m sorry but you’re a total douche AND pretty old because the only reason *I* know what they’re talking about is because when it originally aired, I wasn’t old enough to drive (but maybe you weren’t either and still busy getting laid)?

    At first you gave me a mental image of The Situation but after careful consideration, I’ve added 15 years. You can’t believe how worse it gets.

  31. Wow. First of all, I was joking. Must have been a bad joke but no need to take it so seriously. I don’t know what year that skit came out because I never watch SNL. I’ve always had something better to do and I’m not going to research it to find it now! Next, I’m a 30 year old blonde FEMALE. The Situation, I most definitely am not. I’m glad how you seem to think you have me pegged. So no, I’m not a douche but you are obviously a judgmental dickhead that talks big shit behind your little screen name. Get a life you fucking dweeb!

  32. thataintwhaturdaddysaid,
    What kind of fucktwit references Jersey Shore? Go to bed and let the adults play.

  33. You gotta admit, snowblower, that it was a pretty “skeevy guy” thing to say. I thought you were a douchebag guy, too. In my experience, the only people who brag about how much sex they’re having are boys who never have sex. Anyway, what say we call a joke a joke, prepare for our lingerie shoots, and reconvene on another LB post?

  34. ifitwerentformyhorse

    It’s ok snowblower, I’ve been called a douchebag/”horse guy” on this site before. Of course, my online identity has no gender. It does have a horse though. And if it weren’t for that horse…

  35. horse, is that from “If it weren’t for my horse, I wouldn’t have spent that year in college”?

  36. It’s legal in most states, and all of Europe, to marry your FIRST cousin. It’s legal everywhere to marry your second cousin. Third cousin is not an issue at all.

  37. Lame,
    You got it! I must say though, I’ve been reading this site for a long time. I’ve read comments on group sex, anal sex, animal sex, dead animal sex, and a whole bunch of other gross acts. Never thought I’d be the one called “skeevy.” :-)

  38. Hmm? What? Oh that? Yeah, that’s just my package.

  39. snowblower, these people are degenerates; you don’t want to try to be like them. I’m undercover with the FBI to investigate claims made by people here (Iamamofo is going down any day now).

  40. Shit, there goes my cover. *cough cough* Nothing to see here, folks. Carry on as you were.

  41. I used the “cowbell” line on my husband today and he didn’t get it. He tried to get me to explain, but I said “you have to see it or it loses its meaning being described.” Will Ferrell just is, not does.

  42. ifitwerentformyhorse

    @lametothemin – Yeah. That’s how lame I am. Well, not like a lame horse… Uh, never mind, I don’t know what I was getting at.

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