Friday, January 29, 2010

Remember Privacy?

previous post: More Bad Tats

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69 Comments

  1. hahaha…love the last comment on the 2nd one…. “u don’t even know” bwahahaha

  2. Haha I love how Sarah tries not to be graphic at first, and then only slight egging from Emily brings on the whole story…

  3. ouch Joe!

  4. Oh Sarah u poor thing, how could a guy do such a thing???
    u bitch, keep it private.

  5. “Getting my penis circumsized [sic] today” – as opposed to getting what else circumcised?

  6. hahahahahahahaha Michelle that was awesome !!!

  7. Good morning from the U.S. and a happy day to those across any of our world’s fine ponds. :)

    @Michelle
    Anal…interesting choice of words considering that’s what they’re doing.

    @Sarah
    I have a feeling that if she’d made the guy try harder for those things he would’ve remembered more.

    @Julie
    Had the same conversation with my Pastor…not good.

  8. Kissing? Hugging? Hearing you moan?

    That silly cow is going to learn what men are really after one day and miss her little sucker so fucking much. Ha ha ha ha!

  9. @calcutta
    Sarah shouldn’t be too shocked by how he acted. Let’s see…hugging…kissing..fingering…by my calculations they’re probably only in what? 4th? 5th grade? They’re recess chaparone should really be on watch a tad better.

  10. *The 4th and 5th grade is by the newly established U.S. Standards of Indecency. International standards may differ.

  11. @Pedantrix – right on. I guess Joe wanted to be clear?

  12. Someone needs to explain to Robert where babies come from.

  13. @NormanEinstein I know! So, according to Robert parents aren’t allowed to have sex if they don’t let their kids do it too? That seems off…

  14. Sarah: attention to detail. and Joe FTW!

  15. The boy Joe MUST have been with his mates when he got the ‘do you miss anything?’ text.

    He would have got as far as ‘er… yeah…er…hugging you and stuff’ and his mates would’ve then been suggesting other things to text. Funny as hell.

  16. Funny Facebook Fan Pages

    Man 2 girls 1 cup is still alive?

  17. ahahahah I love how Michelle seems genuinely upset that her parents can have sex but she’s not allowed to date!!
    I wonder what grade she is in. Her parents are probably just trying to make sure she doesnt grow up to be a slut.

  18. Hasn’t the first one been posted already?

    Otherwise, not that impressed. Meh.

  19. Sarah needs to stop seeking validation from her ex. If an ex starts to ask you endless questions about what you miss about her, the only acceptable response is “I miss how you used to let me cornhole you and wipe it on the drapes”. That should shut them up.

  20. @Funny Facebook Fan Pages

    2 girls 1 cup will never go away… unfortunatly

  21. First off, something Robert said may be one of the stupidest things I’ve ever heard: ‘I can’t believe your mum has sex.’
    Although, he makes up for it with his pun. Unless that was an accident.

    What the hell is up with the Sarah thing? Love that he’s a dickhead for wanting to hug her, kiss her and make her moan XD What a SELFISH BASTARD. Wanting to show affection to her. Why can’t be like one of those nice normal boys and neglect her for the football?

  22. Also maybe he doesn’t miss her because every time he tried to do something nice for her, she went on Facebook and moaned that ‘all guys are dickheads’.

    That always makes me laugh. When one boy does something wrong in a relationship, and the girl wildly overreacts with ‘why are all guys dickheads?’ What do you mean ALL guys?

  23. Ahhh Sensible, you do know how to make a gal swoon, lmao. I hope I never have occasion to see your drapes.

  24. @ BritishHobo: Why, they mean all guys because OF COURSE we’re all exactly alike. Hell, it probly doesn’t even matter if the girl cheated, if the guy breaks up with her, he’s a dickhead no matter what.

    Though it should be noted it’s not all girls who think like this. Just the ones who expect to be treated like Princesses. You know, the Sarahs and Juliets of the world.

  25. Why doesn’t he miss Sarah’s blow jobs, fistings, golden showers, pony club, bdsm, cucumber play and getting caught in a theatre while going at it like monkeys. I’m sure that was a lot more fun than the kissing and hugging.

  26. Dr. Azizted-Homicide

    Sarah, your knight in shining armour complex is showing.

  27. So that’s what “dickhead” actually means

  28. Who would ever miss hearing a woman moan? He’ll be regretting that one when he grows up

  29. Joe’s status almost seems fake to me, like he did it and sent it in himself.

    Sarah needs to dictionary.com the word decency.

  30. ThinkingInPictures

    a) Asking an ex if they miss anything about you via text is idiotic.

    b) His answer, though what you should expect if you’re gonna be that stupid, is still douchy. Sorry guys, when a girl asks “what do you like/miss about me?” she wants to hear something like “your smile/sense of humor/the way trip over your own feet/whathaveyou.” You know, something about her specifically, not about parts of the body available on every female of the species.

    Granted, I’ve never ascribed dickheadedness to all guys just because I chose to date one who was…

  31. @ThinkingInPictures: When someone is obviously fishing for compliments, the last thing you want to do is give them what they want, especially when it’s an ex. If they want validation, they can find it from their girlfriends or some dude who’s currently trying to get into their pants, not from an ex.

    If you respond positively to a fishing expedition, they’re just going to keep coming back for more.

  32. sarah u r lame to not sensor stuff like that… but lamer still for asking ur ex stupid questions, u’re lucky he replied!

  33. TMI on the second comment

  34. Super Nintendo Chalmers

    Is there such a thing as a Chelsea Circumcision? That would look cool.

  35. #24: And the sort of people who do the ‘all guys are jerks’ comments are the ones that always seem to end up on Lambeook…

    I still find it odd that she’s pissed off. Not everything he listed was sex stuff. Hugging and kissing isn’t only for the bedroom. Nobody gets turned on by someone promising to hug them all night long. In fact, saying ‘I love hugging and kissing you and I miss it’ is actually pretty sweet… not something that a ‘dickhead’ would say.

  36. 2 girls 1 cup? Should I know this? More so, do I want to know this?

  37. I had the same conversation as Julie in a bar with the Jeopardy Clue Crew. It was awesome.

  38. Michelle, you’ve got me intrigued now, just how anal is your Mum? Is she really particular about which houseplants she’ll let your Dad insert into her rectum?

  39. Super Nintendo Chalmers FTW!!!!

  40. @ eenerbl, as futile as the following sentence always is, to be; you do not want to know :)

  41. @ ThinkingInPictures: So, what you’re saying is that an ex shouldn’t reply with a text that says “I enjoyed giving you pleasure throughout our relationship”? They should, instead, be shallow and focus only on appearance?

    @ BritishHobo 35: Sorry, I lost you when you talked about hugging all night long…had to go rub one out after that.

    @ eenerbl 36: Sorry, you have to find out like the rest of the internet: Google it.

  42. Dear Sarah, most of all I miss watching you bitch to the world on your Facebook every single time I say something romantic or sexual to you.

  43. Don’t google it. There are some things it’s best to just be left in the dark about.

    And who seeks validation from their ex anyhow. If I thought my exes were so wonderful, they wouldn’t be exes. People who fish for compliments make me kind of crazy anyhow. And if she really thinks what he said makes a man a dickhead, I hate to see how she feels when she grows up, and realizes men come in way more shallow and selfish versions than that. Some day she’ll be looking back at old fingerman with fondness and nostalgia.

  44. Of course, if by “fingering me, and making me moan” Sarah meant “putting his hand in me and making it sound as though I’m moaning via ventriloquism,” then she might have a reason to complain.

    And with that horrible idea in mind, I’m off to learn ventriloquism.

  45. She was probably fakin it.

  46. ugh 2 girls 1 cup is SO gross. Don’t watch the actual video itself.. it’ll make you regret ever having the internet, but watch the videos of people watching it. Thats funny.

  47. ThinkingInPictures

    Sensible Madness – you are right, hence my first point about it being idiotic to ask.

    Cursormortis – Are you really that dumb, or did you just not read the whole post before responding to me?

    BritishHobo – While I agree with what you’re saying in theory, the rest of what the dude said makes it clear that he was only talking about hugging and kissing in a sexual way… the fact that he said he doesn’t really miss anything outside of the bedroom is what steers him into “dickhead” territory… That doesn’t scream “I enjoyed giving YOU pleasure” so much as “I enjoy having a woman around to fuck”

  48. I’ve decided I’m not going to google it. I’ll just leave it as one of those things that’s best not to be experienced.

  49. ThinkingInPictures

    eenerbl – Wise decision. ;)

  50. lostintranslation

    @eenerbl: very, very wise. I haven’t actually watched it, but knowing about it is bad enough in itself.

  51. Sarah and Emily in 15 years you´ll wish the guys want you for that.

    Michelle post = fake

  52. @eenerbl: I totally agree with lostintranslation, haven’t seen it either but the knowledge is enough to give you sleepless nights and i don’t mean the good kind.

  53. @ TalkingInPictures: I read the whole thing, but misremembered when I wrote the reply. In any case, I still say his reply is not douche-y because he is saying that he enjoyed making her feel good. His second reply, the one where she further fishes for compliments and specific ones at that, may be douche-y, but was more likely meant to be so in response to her lack of satisfaction at his first answer.

  54. I’m 27 and have never seen 2 girls 1 cup….like said by previous posters, I *know* what it includes, and the thought of actually seeing it terrifies a small part of my soul….

  55. I’d like to keep my soul from any terror! I’ll stick to my happy little world.

  56. 2 girls 1 cup…It’s terrible, really fucking terrible, even by my standards, which are flexible. It was kind of like a car accident with many fatalities, and when you drive by you don’t really want to see what’s going on, but you can’t help yourself. Then you REALLY don’t want to see it, but you can’t look away. I was scarred for life…

  57. @cusormortis: Hes not saying I miss making you feel good, hes saying I miss doing sexual things with a girl & feeling like I’m the man because you moaned & it really has been a while since I got some so I’m getting kinda horny & really don’t care about anything else

  58. ummmm are you KIDDING? of COURSE he’s saying “i miss making you feel good!” idiots. some people do NOT understand men. seriously. if he just missed sex he’d say something like you look so beautiful sucking my cock or i miss nailing you – some reference to dick would be there. he totally left that out because he wanted it to be clear that the focus was completely on her pleasure. what a good guy. and what dumb bitches…

  59. Good luck, Joe.

  60. ThinkingInPictures

    Haha, diva honey, you would sooooo get your heart broken by most of my guy friends thinking that way. If they say they miss hooking up with a girl, it’s because they can’t stand to be around her other than that and it finally got so bad, that putting up with her shit wasn’t worth the fuck. Doesn’t mean they miss making her feel good… if they meant that, they’d focus on shit other than the bedroom. Really, I’ve been the only chick in the group many times and I’ve heard this stuff said.

    Though I suppose it’s kinda idiotic for all of us to argue about what the guy meant when all we’re getting is the paraphrased meaning of his texts according to an ex who thinks he’s a dickhead.

  61. @ ThinkingInPictures: You’ve obviously been hanging around the wrong guys.

  62. Can anyone tell me if two girls one cup is anything like one man one jar? If so, I won’t bother googleing it! :)

  63. ThinkingInPictures

    Nah, I just hang around guys who don’t focus only on sex and being physical when they actually care about a girl. If most of my guy friends really cared about a girl, the first thing that comes to mind (at least that they’d say) when you ask what they liked or miss about her is not anything sexual because she meant more than that. If they go directly to the physical stuff, it’s because that’s all it was for them (or because they’re still pissed off about the breakup). Honestly, that’s all I mean. If you still don’t get that, I’m sorry, I can’t explain it any better.

  64. Sunnix just remember if you see it, it can’t be unseen.

  65. I think sarah should date robert …!

  66. diva – he only talks about physical things, which means he only misses the sex. a guy who only misses the sex is unlikely to be thinking about how she is missing out, unless he thinks he is god’s gift to women. i’m sorry, but you sound terribly naive if you believe that he is a good guy

  67. Sunnix, thanks a lot. I watched one man one jar…2G1C is just as disturbing, just less in a shards of glass, go-to-the-hospital kind of disturbing. Actually, I think 1M1J was slightly less traumatic.

  68. I’m sorry (no, really, I am!) but I had to google 2G1C… I am so glad I went for the Wiki entry not the video! Apparently, I am still shockable.
    “2 Girls 1 Cup is the unofficial nickname of the trailer for Hungry Bitches, a scat-fetish pornographic film produced by MFX Media.[1] The trailer features two women conducting themselves in fetishistic intimate relations, including defecating into a cup, taking turns ostensibly consuming the excrement, and vomiting it into each other’s mouths. “Lovers Theme”, from Hervé Roy’s Romantic Themes, plays throughout.[2][3]

    This one-minute trailer is a viral video that became a well-known Internet meme among bloggers and message boards for the reactions its graphic content elicited from viewers who have not seen such films before.[4][5] Around mid-October 2007, video sites such as YouTube were flooded with videos depicting others’ reactions to watching the video for the first time.[6]”
    -Wikipedia, 2 girls 1 cup. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2_Girls_1_Cup)

    Thanks Julie. Please never post a status update again.

  69. Joe’s status has to be a joke. No man in his right mind would actually consent to that. Nasty!

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