Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Relationship Status: Needs Work



previous post: Gone CARazy!



  1. first

  2. Oh shit! Someone should call the coppers for the first one. Lest she is just stupid and doesn’t understand what a widow is.

  3. The second one is just stupid. We get it, lots of people have horrible spelling.

  4. some needs to tell these people that no one on facebook wants to hear their crap, but the people of lamebook do!

  5. WTF is a Uthere man. Is it like a man who has a really large urethra? I wouldnt love a person with a really large urethra, they might pee on me

  6. @Lamebook A-D-M-I-N: The more retarts I see posting ‘first’ in the first comment box, the more I see a need for a ‘First Rehab Page’!

    Has she cheated on her Hubby with JJ, or is JJ her Hubby’s nickname?

    Morris: Try a mail order bride! She will be yours for life and you can make your own kids.

  7. @Insane: Not sure if you’ve realized this or not (you prob have) but it’s a internet plague. The “First!” thing anyways.

  8. The more retarts I see posting.

    The more retarts I see.

    More retarts.

    I. See. More. Retarts.

  9. Dear Morris.
    I can indeed offer you advice on this situation. Don’t do it. Aside from the obviously messy situation, your blatant lack of intelligence renders you unfit to attempt to raise that child.
    That’s my two cents, is it enough to buy that heart you’re so eager to sell?

  10. Depending on how long Mary’s been married, wanting to murder her spouse only twice in 2 months might be considerably below average.

  11. @ Sensible Madness way way below average.

  12. Sounds like Mary’s husband has it good there.
    He works, while she sits home on Facebook complaining.

  13. @xenomasked: I did notice, that was the point of my (repeated) joke. Maybe our Governments should combine and setup a tactical squad. Those who keep making first comments in the first comment boxes will be eliminated. Solution for the plague, and it creates more jobs :)

  14. Mary’s not “aloud” to put weight on her leg. Good lord.

  15. The Scarlet Pimple

    Morris, I recommend you try killing yourself.

  16. I spent a good 30 seconds trying to figure out what a “uthere man” was.
    and once I finished reading the thing, I read his photo.
    I wouldn’t have been so harsh, but with that as your profile photo, Scarlet is right, Morris, please kill yourself.

  17. *has as direct result of spelling and illegibility*

  18. “Hir”? Dude, probably shouldn’t have gone with the gender-neutral pronoun.

  19. Er…
    Helps to put an action in that last statement I made…

    Stick the word “seizure” somewhere in there. Wherever it makes sense.

    Fail. :P

  20. @Insane – Sorry, but I have to do this… ARE YOU INSANE? Even if he does get a mail order bride, do we want him to be contributing to the gene pool? I mean, the guy can’t spell her. And it’s a three letter word. A really simple three letter word.

    I hate stupid people. And people who can’t spell in general. This is Svetlana.

  21. Scarlet Pimple, he’s offering his heart for free, the ad even gives instructions on how to cut it out, we won’t need to kill him because some emo chick will take the ad literally and do us favour.
    Mary is just a little frustrated that even after the marriage, JJ still pulls out and makes a mess for her to slip in, it’s pretty understandable really. The stingey bastard won’t even buy condoms.

  22. So JJ works and cleans and will still get murdered , looks like he is a winner in this situation

    Poor sod , he did not clean on purpose because you threaten him all the time

    In fact woman , he is trying to become a widower you are not cooperating. Give the man a break.

  23. I like Zombie Kid

  24. Imisszombiekid, damn you, I saw the comment and thought Zombie Kid was back.
    I miss Boz

  25. Finn Zombie Kid was here

  26. lostintranslation

    OK, what the hell is a “qustain”?? Somebody really should end his suffering as he’s requested…

  27. Mary Should off her hubby and marry Morris.

    Their offspring would be most likely be half-wit sadomasochists

    These twisted progeny would be the Lamebook fodder of the future, if this site is to continue we Need them!

    I believe that ‘half-wit sadomasochists’ are the future.

  28. @Svetlana: My apologies! I should have thrown an ‘attempt to’ in that statement, even though we all know he is far to pathetic to go beyond first base! In hindsight I would actually feel sorry for the mail order bride!

  29. Morris.

    Forget about the lady, forget about the baby.

    Go back to school.

  30. @Insane, “he is far to pathetic”? You probably wanted to say “he is far from pathetic”. Am I right?

  31. @Makster “far too pathetic”?

  32. Damn moderators… :(

  33. “uthere” = other. :( What a sad individual this is.

  34. dear morris, this is for you:

    *don’t –> but in this case it’s DOESN’T
    *”or just do i just leave well alone” –> this sentence needs to be rewritten

    with pleasure … corrected by someone whose first language is not even english

  35. @europe_rocks
    …..your a wanker.

  36. @ europe_rocks… Awesome. How is it capable for all of us to be able to speak, read and write perfect english, and it isn’t our first language… Big up!

  37. kinda hard for a girl being a wanker

  38. Big up Europe Rocks! :)

  39. @rose6: it’s “you’re”

    …I couldn’t resist

  40. @europe_rocks: I love you. I think rose6′s post, complete with spelling mistake, speaks for itself.

  41. OI, Moderators… Moderate my comments… :|

  42. Okay, it seems once you add a website to your profile, all your comments get moderated. Sorry guys.

    Europe_Rocks – you rock. Awesome. How is it capable for some of us to be able to speak, read and write perfect english, and it isn’t our first language… Big up!

  43. If I were a super hero I would definitely want to be Urethra Man! Flying around cleaning up “qustains” with my cape. And if I were female and had a baby with Urethra Man, I would probably stay with him too. That baby is pretty much guaranteed to have amazing urinal capabilities. Of which could potentially be used to achieve world piss…err…I mean, peace.

  44. fellini hahahaha :D ! i’d like to keep you so you can entertain me every time i feel down or bored. :)

  45. Svet: capable s/b possible

  46. @#30 Makster: Seriously if you’re going to correct someone on their usage of words then you may want to keep the point of what was being said. For example comment #31 by Imisszombiekid was right on the money with that comments correction.

  47. @ Prince Mishkin – My apologies. Atleast I spelt capable right. Rhonda doesn’t know the difference between your and you’re, and yet she was trying to gun people down. Oi, the irony of it all…

  48. @Svetlana – you spelled “spelled” wrong.

  49. @nousername1 – It’s called spellcheck for a reason. If you don’t know how to use it, I think a dictionary should be able to do the same trick. :)

  50. @nousername – no, she didn’t. spelled and spelt are both correct, same with learned/learnt.

  51. @ europe_rocks – Thanks! :)

  52. you’re welcome!

  53. europe rocks , in thailand i saw girls that were wankers

    But maybe they were’t girls , i just don’t get the world sometimes.

  54. hitmewithyourrhythmvic

    @ europe_rocks – surely you can be giving a guy a handjob and that would make you a wanker, as you are participating in the act of wanking? You don’t have to be doing it to yourself, you know…

  55. 1. ‘Spelt’ and ‘learnt’ are Americanisms of ‘real’ words – by which I mean they are not ‘real’ words.

    2. Any woman having a strum is wanking, you don’t need to have a cock for that. Wanking and masturbating is the same thing.

    3. Spellcheck? Don’t lord it over others for their errors then confess to having used a spellcheck on your own posts!

  56. A bird wankin ‘erself is “avin a strum”? LOL, this is why all us Yanks are Anglophiles!

  57. hitmewithyourrhythmvic

    @ Gank – sorry to put the proverbial English cat amongst the equally English (diseased) pigeons in Leicester Square, but ‘spelt’ is the traditional English spelling. ‘Spelled’ is American English, and has become ingreasingly used over here.

    Having a strum? You’re doing us proud, lad. Share the lexicon. Tell them some of the other phrases we use for that act…!

  58. Vic – I refute that, without researching it, for fear of being wrong after having taken such condescending tone!

    Er… what about ‘fiddling the till’? Is that an exclusively English phrase?

  59. I particularly enjoy the expression ‘flicking the bean’ and ‘diddling’

  60. Tossing the tuppence.

  61. I enjoy the simple masturbation terminology. My favourite is ‘having a fucking wank’!

  62. @ Gank – So what if I use spellcheck – I wish more other people will learn to apply the same principal… I mean, it’s a click of a fucking button. OH, and, I hope you have a merry Christmas and a Happy New Year… You know the rest… :)

    I love my job.

  63. Spell check is not always your friend. You should have written “principle,” not “principal.”

  64. Katie Mae… I don’t always use spellcheck. I use it ‘sometimes’. But, I forgot, people like you, are inhuman fucking sausage loving robots.

    *Rolls Eyes* Fuck this. You’re a douche. Have a nice day, you sad sack of shit. :)

  65. What’s spelchek?

  66. It’s that think shim should learn to use, and me, apparently :( I am sad.

  67. @Svetlana-You’re not getting laid that much recently,are you?Never thought about taking part at an angry management class?Just an advice.Have a nice day tho…

  68. Don’t be sad, at least you’re not Morris :)

  69. @ ni hao – actually, I get laid EVERYDAY… more than you and your hand can say. And I don’t think that last post for Katie Mae was “anger management” worthy. Ask KennyChen and Lorne852 how I packed out on them. At least I admitted I was wrong.

    @Joker… Thanks sweets!

  70. @Svetlana, Kenny Chen and Loren852 Ahhhhhhhhhh those were good ones baby

  71. Yeah that’s what people keep telling themselves when they’re in a dry spell…So,have you met my hand yet?Talked to her?

  72. @SeeBea – WTF is up with all the shims??

  73. No se chica, but they havn’t been seen hide nor hair of since.

  74. So, you’ve seen it? What do you think?

    And I meant we have a new shim coming up.. :|

  75. Pretty hot baby, my laptop is still smokin’

    I must be missing something. I’m not seeing any good ones. Thay all seem pretty timid.

  76. No duck face anyway :-D

  77. I cannot discuss this here – this shim can spell, and is smarter than the usual – I think they are evolving!

  78. give me a thread?

  79. Hey,do you both need a gender?What’s the matter about what I’m hiding in my crotch?

  80. Right below you!! Watch out! *gets thrown with screen by ni hao* OUCH! And you say I need anger management?

  81. @ni hao: I don’t get it. Who needs a gender? and I could not care less about what’s in your crotch.

  82. Haha, it’s an inch, SeeBea! :)

  83. I said “angry management”:)been there done that,but unfortunately it doesn’t works successfully everytime,you just have to try,it may works for you,give it a shot!

  84. By the way I need your backup on Just don’t reply… xx

  85. Yes Svetlana,it’s just an hinch and it’s working just more than fine for me…

  86. @ni hao – I see the anger management classes have paid off! :) You shouldn’t take us too seriously. I could use someone like you for my army… I like your whit, and you can spell…

  87. geez now I’m flattered!And to think that English is not even my second language,no wait…not even the third,can you belive this?

  88. How the hell do you pronounce qustain?

  89. I believe ‘qustain’ is pronounced ‘cum-stain’.

    As in: “Morriss’s parents should have left him as a qustain”.

    He is clearly using it incorrectly.

  90. uhh, weirdo.

    “qustain” is DEFINITELY “QUESTION”

  91. @kimmiebitch

    REALLY?? Is that really the only error you felt worth mentioning within that whole novel typed up there? Or did you just not notice any of the others? You imbecile.

  92. oh no, she has a baby with this UTHERE man ? that is very sad.
    i wish i could msg this dude.

  93. I need help with a CUMSTAIN ?? she has a baby with URETHRA man ? Sounds like he has a big one..

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