Friday, December 17, 2010

Read ‘em and Weep

previous post: Problem or Not?

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41 Comments

  1. I had my user-name hijacked yesterday. Fuck me dry … I’m pissed.

  2. First two are awesome. If I had a kid I’d totally buy that shirt for them because it’s hilarious. I love that tattoo!

  3. Beaver. Sten.

  4. Not.

  5. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Two girls one-up, isn’t that called a threesome?

    And way to go Eli. If you are going to be stupid you might as well be a dick about it.

  6. Love the tattoo. Can anyone tell what body part that is, though?

  7. The tattoo is upper-back, with the words going from left shoulder blade to right.

  8. Clearly I’m a fan of the crude, but that onesie isn’t funny simply because it says “vagina”. There’s nothing ironic or clever there; it’s just tiresome. I’d punch a family member in the face for that shit, then totally un-friend them on facebook.

  9. Note to self: never ask a question here. You seem to only get the “Sorry, I didn’t notice you were retarded” and tap on the head reply.

    That kid is going to grow up so awesome he will probably have the ability to punch all of us in the face, at the same time.

  10. made in vagina, that’s pretty funny! I think the kid in the dolphin one is Justin Bieber!!!

  11. Ell’s response, “No, penguin. The thing in the water.”

    Makes me wonder what she thinks a dolphin is.

    I love the made in vegas shirt, it’s so cute, haha.

    My friend recently took a trip to California. She look a picture of a HUGE noodle (a noodles ‘n company thing) and on the sign it said, “For your safety, please do not climb on the noodle”. Someone commented on the picture, “Omg! So awesome! Can you climb on the big noodle?!”

    I submitted that picture here. That totally should have been accepted. Why wasn’t that accepted?

  12. oh wow.. more idiots! go mankind go!

  13. mass, so that wasn’t you asking Walt to suck your cock?

  14. Two girls, one-up? I’m slow this morning. I don’t get it. Yes, I’ve seen the freaking porn/fetish thing, but I still don’t get the tat. Now you can all call me a retard, and tap me on the head.

    And for reasons I can’t explain, I just checked out 2 Guys, 1 Stump. I can handle most porn (including 2 girls), but that really made me quite nauseous.

  15. Thanks, murph.

    Miss Shegas, it’s not funny just because it says “vagina.” There’s like a whole joke going on there. “Vagina” is all you see in it really? Not the least of which is that “vagina” rhymes with “China,” and a lot of stuff says “made in China.”

  16. Seriously? 2 Guys, One Stump? I’m intrigued now, but perhaps the mental image will suffice.

    The first 2 made me smile. The turd, Eli or Ell, rather, is one major idiot…

  17. i like the tattoo
    @ word
    the two girls are princesses from mario games and the mushroom is called a 1up in the game.

  18. powerstance, thanks. I never played much Mario. I was more of a Donkey Kong gal.

  19. word .. no, it wasn’t.

    I have no issues with Walter … or anyone for that matter. I’m annoyed by this crap.. I don’t ‘comment’ shit like that.

  20. @MsBuzzkillington – technically that thing which is being Biebered is a porpoise and technically a dolphin is a type of fish. Yeah, I’m being a smartass. And yeah, it’s only funny because it’s not a penguin.

  21. Should’ve been ‘made in fallopian tube’

  22. I thought it was weird. It came out of nowhere and sounded way out of character for you, mass. Don’t be too annoyed, though, Uber Cocksucker does it to a lot of people. But it was you addressing me, though, wasn’t it? That did sound like you…

  23. Yes word, the lick/kick comment was mine … lacking hilarity but best intent.

  24. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    amphigory nicely done.

  25. mass, you always have the best of intentions. I know that. Now, if I don’t get to speak to you again over the weekend, I’m getting in early to wish you (and everyone else) a wonderful Christmas. I’m bowing out of LB after this weekend for an indeterminate period. Hopefully, I’ll be back in 2011. That is, unless LB folds in the meantime…

    Stay safe, my friend. I’ll miss you.

  26. wordy, I’m now compelled, yet terrified, to google that phrase.

    lametothemin, I get the joke, I just don’t think it’s funny. That whole trying to be edgy, just to be edgy, thing just wears me out.

  27. Be afraid, Miss, be very afraid. But there’s another to be even more afraid of, though… 1 Guy, 1 Jar. For the love of God, don’t go there. I beg of you.

  28. wordy, you’re giving me a plethora of things to Google. It’s a damn shame I’m at work for the next 12 hours.

  29. *coughing* Don’t google it Stretch! Save yourself. *collapses and dies*

  30. Stretch, proceed with great caution (and with a vomit bag handy) when googling any of them.

    Saff, I placed a warning, did I not? Silly duffer.

  31. @Octodude – technically that thing which is being Biebered is a Bottlenose Dolphin, which are marine mammals that are closely related to whales and porpoises. Dolphins, whales and porpoises are mammals, not fish, and porpoises are not dolphins. The name Dolphin is from the Greek ‘delphis’, which is related to the Greek ‘delphus’, or womb, and thus can be interpreted as ‘fish with a womb’. The name Dolphin is also used to refer to the Dolphinfish, or mahi-mahi, which is indeed a fish. Dolphinfishes are unrelated to dolphins, which are mammals, so, technically, referring to Dolphinfishes as Dolphins is incorrect.

  32. Hey, Torquemada, whaddaya say?
    I just got back from the auto-da-fé
    Auto-da-fé, what’s an auto-da-fé?
    It’s what you oughtn’t to do but you do anyway
    Skit skat voodely vat tootin de day

    The marine biology lesson had me falling asleep, but your username has Mel Brooks songs running through my head. So, I guess at least that’s something…

  33. Oh god, listen up everyone – DO NOT GOOGLE 1 GUY 1 JAR! When I first got my webcam my brother got me online and sent me a link to it so he could my reaction! Nice brother eh.

  34. @amphigory

    actually it should say “made in uterus” if a baby ever starts developing in the fallopian tube, they have to remove the baby or the mother will die. sometimes they even have to remove the whole fallopian tube if its too far along.

  35. Now, I wrote in a nice way
    I said pretty please
    I bent your ears
    Now I’ll work on your knees.

    Stretch, eh? Sounds like you might have already taken a siesta on one of my racks, lol! Let’s face it, they never could talk me outta keeping everybody on the straight and narrow path.

    @candidcamera – the sperm fertilizes the ovum in the fallopian tube and then it takes about three to four days to reach the uterus, by which time the fertilized ovum has already divided into at least 16 cells. While it is in the uterus where the further division of cells develop into the placenta and the embryo, without the fertilization in the fallopian tube the embryo in the uterus will never happen.

  36. hmm…ok torque…lets see. the fertilization occurs in the fallopian tube alright fine…but the development or more frankly “making” of the baby happens in the uterus. If it does not get the hell out of the fallopian tube, baby dies, or mommy dies or both. fertilization MAY happen in the fallopian tube but since i have spent 9 months making a baby before, im pretty sure i can say that a baby is MADE in the uterus.

    You sound like a prick.

  37. Dear Turkey.. er, i mean deTorquemadanequa, please, shut the hell up with the damn lessons already! Thank you :) Have a great day!

  38. Dear candidcamera, I don’t know what I did to you to make you say I sound like a prick, but as long as we are exchanging pleasantries, you sound like you’re on the rag. And I see you also have a magic uterus which MAKES babies. When will we see it on Ripley’s?

    @sasha – my apologies for sounding pedantic, but when I attempt to refute someone’s position I try to provide supporting arguments. Maybe what I should have done was to copy the Bieber-Dolphin photo and octodude’s comment and submit them to Lamebook. And the ‘baby is MADE in then uterus’ one, as well. It’s ironic that Lamebook begets more lameness. :-D

  39. Damn it, I just had to look up 2 guys 1 stump. Not nearly as disturbing as 2 girls 1 cup, more humorous really, but… man what’s wrong with people??

  40. Hell, I come to LB mostly for the comments nowadays, so this is more entertaining to me than you think ;)

    @babe, I wish I could answer your question, but I’m always asking the same thing haha- there are plenty of sites like that out there, and the only question I’m usually left with is, “How in the fuck do you come up with that sort of shit!?”. Well, on a final note, if you have the chance, look up “1 guy 2 needles”, and “1 nun 1 priest” :)

    Have a great day!!

  41. Awww isn’t that shirt sweet?!

    We had one knocked up for my ninth sons first baby grow.

    it read ‘Made in a prison cell against my mums wishes’….but theirs is catchier i think?

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