Thursday, January 27, 2011

Rape Victims… Kind of…

previous post: Talkin’ Dirty

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47 Comments

  1. Rape is funny.

  2. My girlfriend is intelligent, but most of all she’s smart. And even more most of all, I am dumb.

  3. What is the woman in number 2 holding anyway?

  4. see thru pasties?

  5. Johnny has good intentions.

  6. @curlybap – it’s a Cricut logo, so it’s probably a scrapbooking tool of some sort

  7. What the fuck was he going for? I’d genuinely love to know. If he’s reading this, or one of his friends is reading this… what the fuck was your point?

  8. Was that a song, a poem? WTF? It wasn’t even sweet. Was he supposed to flatter her? Lucky for her, he didn’t tag her. He’s probably to fucking dumb to know how.

    Maybe it’s drunk FBing?

  9. Thanks raquigirl. I wonder if her whole 22 photos are pictures of her holding different scrapbooking tools. What an interesting photo album that would be!

  10. This is great. I can’t believe thisstuff!!!!

  11. sounds like somebody’s about to get broken up with by their smart, bitchy girlfriend.

  12. All I saw is an empty Cricut blade pack and thought “wow she’s cheap”. Then I noticed the lovely product placement.

  13. Maybe she enjoys being called a bitch

  14. maybe he’s dating a female body builder who moonlights as an office manager. I don’t think logan thought that one through, espescially if johnny’s buff ‘girl’friend doesn’t like women being mean to her man.

  15. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    I hate guys like Johnny. Just like Logan, all the time I’ve spent messing up romantic nonsense on my Facebook wall has taught my friends to keep that shit off Facebook or at least hide it from my wall.

  16. i would venture to say that angela too could use a rapist. her never ending chins haunt me.

  17. I was a spermy baby. Dad liked me a lot more than my brother.

  18. Maybe Johnny is only capable of feeding her the non-spermy variety of baby batter? One can only hope. God knows she doesn’t need to be “harboring” any little Johnnies, especially if she is as flagrantly retarded as he is.

  19. The second one is just bloody stupid… If you’re going to rape your mum use your whole fist not just your little finger.

  20. @imamofo

    Is there a point to your comments? Does anyone find these remotely funny? I am assuming you are a very, very lonely person in real life…you certainly write like you are.

  21. “SHE doesn’t need me to make the money.” = Unlike some of my past girlfriends who nagged me to get a job, the bitch just bought me a PS3 instead.

    “She DOESN’T need me to make the money.” = Stop telling me she needs me to make the money. She doesn’t.

    “She doesn’t NEED me to make the money.” = She wants me to make the money. She doesn’t need it though.

    “She doesn’t need ME to make the money.” = Her pappy be rich.

    “She doesn’t need me to MAKE the money.” = I do something else with the money. Maybe I spend it. Maybe I invest. Maybe I like origami.

    “She doesn’t need me to make the MONEY.” = I cook and do the dishes.

    “She doesn’t need me TO make the money.” = I’m mentally handicapped.

  22. ccrashh I was lonely until I started collecting folk and chaining them in my loft… i’m only joking.. their in the basement.

    Why all the anger though, did someone fist rape your mummy?

  23. ccrashh, you just don’t understand the sophisticated art of trolling. This guy does a great job at it, he even chose an obnoxious username to seal the deal.

    He’s trying a little too hard, but I’m sure with time he will master it. Just use words of encouragement.

  24. Yeah, words of encouragement like:

    ‘Arghhh it hurts, it hurts!’ or ‘Take it out, take it out!’ or ‘It stinks but go on then’

  25. ah…trolling…and his blog is the same. I wondered about that. Too bad you can’t click IGNORE :) Will have to do it mentally then

  26. ccrashh is originallamester.

    I’m thinking there’s an anti-mofo movement growing. Probably fed by lamebook in their anti-comment war.
    Next there can be an anti-anti-mofo movement. Comments HAVE been slow lately, and frankly, I’d kinda like some action here. I get bored easily.

    But really. C’mon guys, can’t you see mofo just needs to be saved?

    Save the mofo!

  27. ccrash You’ve read my blog too?! ‘God I hate his comments!… I wonder what his blogs’ like’ Christ you must really want some of my cum on your face… acting all aloof won’t stop me from popping one in your eye you know? You’re a NO means YES type of person ain’t ya? I can tell.

    wandr Their worried about our comments being used against them in a court of law… I’d like to see both movements get into a bitter war of attrition with hate filled invective Vs epic meltdown rants.. Imagine how many anger wanks I could push out to that?!

  28. @IMAMOFO–on your blog, where it says “Whose Watching? 2,755 people sickened and shocked,”….it should be “Who’s Watching.”

    As in….

    Who is (who’s)watching my tl;dr blog?

    Instead of:

    Whose GD blog is this that makes my eyes hurt just to look at all the words; how could he POSSIBLY have that much to say?

  29. *words? How

  30. candid Cheers for the spelling tip I’ll go change it now!

    If you find it a little wordy don’t bother reading it, I can summarise for you, rape, cum, sex, wank off, sex, cum…. oh and bumming and cunts. Very high brow…probably not up your street.

  31. hmm…i skimmed it.i prefer ponies and unicorns and rainbows and happy glitter…you know, normal girl stuff……during the day at least ;)

  32. candid I’ll set up a post especially for you to read at night then.

    I’ll fill it full of grammatical errors, misspellings and wrong possessive pronouns so that you can correct them as you frantically heave your rainbow coloured, rearing unicorn shaped dildo into your gash. ;)

  33. mmmm dildos…..and being an english teacher (in training), the grammatical errors should give me something to do. Much appreciated.

  34. @Walter I laughed so hard I cried. Then my nose bled. No word of a lie. But I thought the ending was a let down, it had more potential. Origami was a stroke of genius though. Also:

    “She doesn’t need me to make THE money” = she needs me to make the everyday kind of money which gets us by, but her rich daddy is forking out for the ransom. Or something along those lines.

  35. yes, walter, that made my morning!! ( i was thinking what a strange inflection it would be to emphasize “to”… nailed it!)

  36. I HATE IMMAMOFO SO MUCH THAT I AM ACTUALLY GOING TO GO TO THE EFFORT TO READ HIS BLOG, BECAUSE I’M ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO SAYS A FILM WILL BE SHIT, BUT SEES THE FILM ANYWAY, AND THEN BITCHES ABOUT HOW SHIT THE FILM WAS, BECAUSE I’M A CUNT.

  37. Thanks for the feedback.

    It took me so long to write that comment with my iPhone that by the time I stood up to wipe my legs had fallen asleep.

  38. What’s wrong with seeing a movie you know will be shit? It means you’re either in for a pleasant surprise, or you actually get to warrant your opinion.

    But alas, I work at a video rental store and have plenty of time to waste. Fucking Squid and the Whale…

  39. What’s with the mofo haters? Live a little.

  40. poor mofo
    All he/she (?) wants is a bit of rape every so often

  41. haeckelsembryos, I was thinking more of the people on IMDb and such who’ll latch onto a film as soon as it’s announced, and keep talking about how shit it’ll be, and how the actors suck, and the director is terrible, and then it comes out, but they go see it anyway, paying the money for it. And then they come back and bitch about it anyway.

  42. @imamofo…
    “Read your blog” is probably a bit much. I saw the title of one blog post and read maybe half the first line. That was enough. There’s funny and then there’s just…not sure what the right word is: pathetic, sad, turgid…

    @wandr:
    Nope. Never heard of originallamester.

  43. good god ccrash, we get it already. You’re wildly in love with imamofo..we know already! will you just move on and stop complimenting him and his bloq?

  44. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Somebody’s looking to provoke mofo into some hot angry sex.

  45. Aren’t we all?

  46. I love her chin. I want to spunk on it.

  47. I read Johnny’s status as “My girlfriend can stand up for herself and that’s awesome” instead of being some pathetic weakling who cries about everything.

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