Friday, December 11, 2009

Raising Hell

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previous post: Puppy Chow

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110 Comments

  1. I actually think this is one of the sexiest bump pics I have ever seen, I would do her, in this state…

    As for Chris, he sounds like a paedophile.

    And Joanna, she’s just a dumbass…

  2. *cough Pedophile Alert cough *

  3. OH OH OH I’ve just been “GOD SMACKED!”

  4. lostintranslation

    “He looks so sexy when he sleeps lol” – creepiest use of “lol” ever.

  5. @Svetlana
    Say “Moose and Squirel.”

  6. @ SeeBea : OMG that is so funny… FTW!

  7. Moose and Squirel? WTF?

  8. Joanna’s son James is a real life Ralph Wiggum. He must be such a let down for his mother who thought he was going to be Picasso.

    Look on the bright side though Joanna, that lady who paints with people’s turds would love to get hold of his multicolour crayon faeces.

  9. Who finds their children sexy? And then he goes on to call his gf/fiance-to-be sexy aswell!! ewwwww its got spit on it

  10. #1. How on earth do you let your child eat an entire box of crayons?? Especially when he’s right in the backseat.

    #2. Posing like a $2 MySpace hooker while pregnant is never okay.

    #3. Just ewwww.

  11. Crayons aren’t toxic. No reason to call poison control. Why in the hell would they make something toxic when so many kids have their hands on them a day?

    A lot of people find a pregnant woman’s belly beautiful. I don’t. But, others do so I don’t see anything too wrong with the picture.

    And wow, Chris. I have no words for that dude except YOU’RE FUCKING SICK.

  12. @Mercure
    That’s funny

  13. Sexy is one of those words pop culture has seized upon. It’s used to cover a huge scope of things that have nothing to do with its actual definition. I would be just fine if I never heard “sexy”, “fail”, “owned”, “pwned”, “mad”, “boring” or the forms of the word “annoy” ever again.

  14. @ Mercure: Yeah, multicoloured faeces… I’m sure that’ll make Shit-Painting Lady’s art more edgy and creative and different…

    Also, I am now very worried about Tyler-Mark … OMFG BABY, ROLL, ROLL AWAY AS FUCKING FAST AS YOU CAN!!!

  15. Bump pictures are beautiful when they’re tastefully done. This one isn’t, sadly.

  16. True, true.

  17. Okay, apparently a pregnant girl holding a guitar is not hot…

    I have failed. I deserve to be on lamebook :(

  18. @Svetlana: You’re being too harsh on yourself. I’d squire it too as long as her hubby and his bass were out of town, I’d just not tell anybody.

    Or do we both fail?

  19. After reading Chris’ post, I am now scared that my girlfriend tells her dog in gushy, baby talk that he is sexy…

  20. @Svetlana
    Do mean failed or “failed”?
    You seem kind of down this morning :-(

  21. @ Mercure : Alas, this is EPIC FAIL :(

  22. @ SeeBea : Wow, you noticed? Should I be concerned? It’s just that myth called Monogamy… She’s a dirty little bitch, isn’t she?

  23. hitmewithyourrhythmvic

    I’m sure he doesn’t really see his son as being ‘sexy/sexi’, which of course implies ‘sexual’. People have such a limited vocabulary that they chuck in any ‘positive’ word and think that they are interchangeable. I worked with a chef who said that every plate he brought up was ‘sexy’. No, it’s not. You don’t want to screw that plate of ravioli, do you? You could use the words creative, tasty, innovative, well-seasoned, delicious, well-executed or beautiful. Actually, it was none of those things, he couldn’t cook for shit. But you can see where I’m going with this.

    and Katrine? You’re a twat. But thank goodness you gave us that description. ‘Posing wiv my husband’s bass’. When I first looked at the picture I couldn’t work out what you were doing. My first impression was that you were jiving with a kangaroo. Twat.

  24. @The Mapper: I think I have seen a video of your girlfriend and her dog when I visited Amsterdam and ended up in a XXX video booth.

  25. Noticed? C’mon baby, Queen, Star Trek, and Vodka…
    and no, we take it where we can get it ;-)

  26. My dog used to eat crayons all the time. It was actually nice, because it made his crap a lot easier to find in the backyard.

    Also, I hope Katrine has a good job, because her bass player husband sure isn’t going to be pitching in anytime soon.

  27. @ SeeBea : I don’t get mad, I get even… Revenge Sex is the best ever… :) Throw in some Queen and you have a musical! :)

    I can see the lights now: “Queen of Revenge Sex”

  28. @hitmewithyourrhythmvic
    So what if they had said their son was “tasty”? I’ve used tasty to describe a hot chick and there is little doubt that food can be very sexy. Perhaps not evey plate of food.

  29. @Svetlana
    Don’t stop me now I’m having such a good time…

  30. You know what is sexy… A girl in heels and her man’s dress shirt bringing him a cup of coffee. Answering the door with just a towel wrapped around your body? Check. Confidence. Check.
    Licking whipped cream off of someone… Same goes with body shots… DAMN SEXY…

    But your child, sexy? Fail :(

  31. @ SeeBea – I never thought you would be able to make Queen dirty – AWESOME… I will never be able to listen to my Vinyls the same way ever again… :D

  32. OMG! My son just ate something potentially poisonous! QUICK! Get my computer! I need to post on FACEBOOK!

  33. @ Ms.Terri : That was posted Via FB Mobile. Technology has morphed into an evil form. Cellphones, all the cool kids are doing it… :)

  34. @Svetlana: A girl wearing high heels and carrying hot coffee isn’t sexy, it’s hazardous! I can just imagine some chick walking up as you describe, trying to look sultry, and tripping over those damn heels. Maybe I’m just one of those prudish types, but I just don’t think the potential for second degree burns on my johnson really contributes to the mood.

  35. hitmewithyourrhythmvic

    @SeeBea – I seebea what you’re saying, but it was the way he used it to describe every plate of food. Roast belly of pork with celeriac puree, caramelised shallots and thyme sauce is delicious, but it’s isn’t sexy. Maybe the way you eat it is sexy, or the environment within which you eat it is sexy. But the plate of food itself is sexy. It’s not going to make me orgasm, it’s not ‘sexy’. But it’s pretty bloody delicious.

    Although I’m English, so Marmite is sexy to me. I’ll go some way to understanding that if you dipped a man in Marmite, I would find that pretty sexy. If a little sticky. But the whole point of sex is to get a bit sticky, isn’t it…?

  36. hitmewithyourrhythmvic

    … ‘but the plate of food itself *isn’t sexy. That makes a lot more sense in my rant.

  37. @ Sensible Madness : I just lol’d and lol’d and lol’d. Luckily for me, I am an excellent housekeeper, so nothing potentially dangerous lying around to trip me, and number 2, I live in heels… I don’t even trip and fall when I am sloshed.

    Would you like a glass of milk instead? ;)

  38. @35: I thought the whole point of sex was so you could take “bump” pictures with your husband’s bass.

  39. There is nothing attractive about a pregnant €10 crack whore still trying to turn tricks – and that is the look Katrine has managed to achieve.

    Also WTF is POSIN CONTROL ?

  40. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    FTW
    Katrine is a gal I could do very fast and very hard…I also like robots and sausages…

  41. @ Goozilla : I apologize for my epic fail about the girl & the guitar. Also, I believe that POSIN CONTROL is a centre that teaches you to keep your “POSE” in difficult situations, like your child, with adult supervision, managing to eat a box of crayons. Good place to know.

  42. Crayons aren’t toxic (unless they come from China in which case they will be coloured pieces of lead and asbestos), but whenever you are concerned about your kid having poisoned himself ALWAYS, ALWAYS, STOP, UPDATE YOUR FACEBOOK STATUS and await advice from your pool of friends.

    What if “Chris” is “Chris Hansen?”

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chris_Hansen

    hmmm…the plot thickens

  43. My son ate a crayon. The first thing I did was grab the camera. I have a nice one where he has the blue all in his teeth. Its not something I encouraged but what kid didnt eat a crayon? Especially the first time given crayons. My son was 2 when he did it. Now if he was older and still eating them then Id have a issue. Cause thats just weird. Also did the idiot not notice non-toxic on the box of crayolas? I would love to be the posion control person that fielded that call. As for pic number 2. Better get that picture in now cause once j.r is put of there welcome to saggy belly ville. Its right next to floppy titty town. Anyone that says a baby does not damage your body somehow is a liar. Nobody but celebrities come out of this unscathed. And they have millions of dollars to fix thme back up. Something aint gonna be right once that baby is born. Also love the 80s make-up. Who wears blush like that now? As for the last guy, Ive called my kids lots of pet names. I would never refer to them as sexy/sexi. Thats just disturbing. More disturbing bc its a dude saying it. Im not saying he’s a pedophile, he just a idiot with most likely a limited vocabulary.

  44. @ Svetlana

    Whatever turns you on svetlana – I am not here to judge………..wait , what?

  45. Oh who cares! Let’s drink Vodka! :)

  46. The second picture just brings me down… nothing sexy about a girl looking like a pregnant groupie of a trash metal band…

  47. The next Picasso? Van Gogh perhaps.

  48. Does anyone know where the sense of humour shop is??

  49. “Bump pic?” Is that what people are calling a photo of a pregnant woman’s belly? Was “Maternity Gutwad” too hard to spell?

    Also hi this is the first time I have posted here.

  50. @ Svetlana

    Have you lost yours ?

  51. @Svetlana: Go to a shop that sells clothes for fat people and watch a few of them come out of the changing rooms. I always leave laughing.

  52. Goozilla : No, I like drinking too much… Drunks have the best sense of humour… they laugh at everything. Besides, I work for a mortuary, and I love my job. Everything is funnier with death.

  53. I am so sick of half naked pregnant pictures. Yea you for breeding! OMG such a new concept! My beer belly isn’t sexy and neither is your pregnant stomach. Perhaps I should start posting pics of me in my boxers, with my gut hanging out, and holding a guitar. too sexy.

  54. @ Mercure : ROFLMAO – OMG, it was so funny until I remembered I am one of those people who come out of the changing rooms, knowing I can’t buy anything ’cause it won’t fit… :(

  55. Just kidding. I am big, but not gigantic… at least I can still fit through my doors. If I can’t, I’ll start worrying… :|

  56. child control needs to be called on chris.

    And Joanna’s post cracked me up. Most crayons aren’t toxic at all, may upset the stomach, and will probably make you poop rainbows.

  57. Lol’d at poopcalculator’s pooping rainbows comment. Made my day.

  58. I guess now would be a pretty bad time to mention that I have a pregnant fetish…

  59. It would be even hotter if she was lactating.

  60. @poopcalculator Child control? Is that like pest control for kids?

  61. OMG Svetlana, you are so hot. Stop or I wont be able to get up.

    @hitmewithyourrhythmvic
    I love British Food, Very sexy

  62. @ TwoWorlds… Yeah I know… It’s hot, right? But now, your timing would suck. EPIC FAIL. AGAIN :(

  63. SeeBea? Are you alright love? Hot? What did I do this time? *Insert rolling eyes here* :)

  64. @poopcalculator : It make u poop rainbow , can it help u to piss sunshine and cum meteor ?????/ and yeah i m serious 0____0

  65. Is no-one else troubled by the phrase “gf/fiance to be” in Chris’ status?

    I can perhaps forgive the missing accent, but the extra e makes all the difference. A fiancé is a man who is engaged to be married. I suspect he meant fiancée.

    And anyway, what is a “fiancée to be”? Does is mean “We’re still just boyfriend/girlfriend, but we’ve agreed to get engaged at some point”? Or maybe they’ve said “Let’s get engaged on New Year’s Eve!”

    It’s so annoying, as if engagement is some intermediate relationship level in itself, instead of just an agreement to get married.

  66. @ Svetlana
    Just bein’ sweet sexy you baby ;-)

    …and I am just fine, thanks for asking.

  67. @ SeeBea : Thanks, you sweet thang! ;) God, I just made myself lol… I am slightly aroused by this online flirting… :|

  68. Chris probably finds Taco Bell’s Seven Layer Burrito “sexy.”

  69. Wait, what? Mark Lee, you DON’T believe the Seven Layer is “sexi”?

  70. Katrine – hats off, that has to be one of the most bizarre “bump pics” I’ve ever seen. Is that a woollen boob-tube and arm warmers you’re wearing too? Glad to see pregnancy hormones didn’t effect your impeccable dress sense *cough! puke!*

  71. @Alas “fiance to be” means he’s planning to ask her to marry him, but he’s too much of a pussy to actually pop the question, so he’s hoping she’ll just read his facebook status and get the idea. Unfortunately for him, the fact that he considers his son sexy will probably be a deal breaker for her.

  72. @Sensible Madness – I hadn’t thought of that, I had assumed it had already been discussed within their stable and well-balanced relationship. I simply hadn’t considered the possibility that his status was a hint, maybe to test the water and see how she responds to the suggestion.

    If Anita’s got any sense (which at the risk of jumping to conclusions, I would say is unlikely), she’ll respond by packing her bags and taking sexi little Tyler Mark many miles away from Chris.

  73. I don’t know what it is but I’m gonna go and get a 7 layer Burrito right now! Taco Bell here I come or should I say cum?

  74. @Sensible Madness – Gaaah! What kind of sadcase drops hints at marriage on his Facebook status updates to test the water?

    Rhetorical question now I think about it: I guess that’s exactly why we’re all here…

  75. There were a few funny and poignant comments here- but it was buried beneath like two tons of svetlana and seebear or whatever the fuck’s bullshit. It’s uncomfortable to watch things like this
    “Thanks, you sweet thang! God, I just made myself lol… I am slightly aroused by this online flirting… “…. I hate having to read through this idiocy just get to the good stuff [HitMeWith and Me were notable] This part of the website is being misused. Get AIM you dipshits That’s Kenny Chen

  76. That second pic looks like she belongs on Brett Michaels Rock of love: Maternity edition

    The last one is so creepy…it’s just wrong to call your kids sexy or sexi just ewww

  77. As much as I hate it when somebody points something out and all the subsequent posts agree with that person even though nobody had noticed before, I agree with KennyChen.

  78. @ 8 – LOL! So true! “I’m a unitard!”

    And aren’t crayons non-toxic?

  79. That is going to be one massive rainbow dump.

    Is Chris a guy? It’s weird enough for a mum to call her baby sexy, but for a dad? Uch.

  80. @ KennyChen: I like the sign out. Im gonna use that when I end conversations. Would “Over and out” be overkill if added that? :)

  81. If he throws up the crayons, he might be the next Jackson Pollock!

  82. @Alas, gf/fiancé-to-be clearly means he’s not asking her to marry him until after a sex change.

  83. Chinchillazilla FTW!

  84. Those crayons might be a whole new inspiration for the duckface lady from the other day who was painting a picture with poop. If it ever happens… You read it here first!
    :-/
    also, get a chatroom you two.

  85. posty mcposterson

    I may be crazy (probably), but it looks to me like the preggo lady isn’t wearing pants…? Please tell me it isn’t so.

  86. “Look we fucked and my belly got big!! I’m a genius.”

  87. @ hitmewithyourrhythmvic #35
    I will never be able to look at a jar of Marmite the same way again.

    @posty #85
    I think she’s wearing a mini skirt or possibly shorts.
    Either that or we’re looking at a very oddly formed gunt . . .

  88. Chris ought to be castrated! He is beyond sick!!!

    @Preggo: Oh no the Emo’s are copulating! That’s it we are all screwed now!

  89. hitmewithyourrhythmvic

    @seebea – too right, Marmite is too sexy. All British food infact, bangers, puddings, dumplings, and have you seen what Nigella can do with a spoon? I made something last week that I have christened Bollock Pie – everything in it was spherical. Baby onions, baby mushrooms, stuffing balls and sausagemeat balls. I can assure you – it was immense. And then, what else? Spotted dick and custard. Promise. It was sexiiiiieeee.

    and @Thesaurapist 13F – that’s no bad thing, looking at Marmite in a sexual way. Your life will have just instantly got better. Well, maybe not your life, but your breakfast will certainly be more interesting ;-)

  90. chris is one sick puppy

  91. Why is preggo wearing a scarf around her boobs and socks on her arms?? Maybe they should sell the bass and buy this dumb bitch some real clothes…what’s the poor dingleberry baby gonna wear??…a fuckin’ knitted pot holder??

  92. Vince from purchasing

    @ 39, 41 – POSIN CONTROL Is a body dedicated to controlling those who feel the need to pos(e) in(appropriately) in photos. Perhaps Joanna was calling to alert them to Katrine’s effort.

    I have absolutely nothing to go on here, but I suspect that Joanna’s never seen what a Picasso work looks like, and would be appalled if she did. My guess – she wants the next Constable or Whistler.

  93. Maybe he’s recreating Picasso’s little known crayon-eating period

  94. Katrine is a very hot pregnant woman. Her choice in breast coverage is pretty lame, as that is one of the ugliest looking tops/bras/something that I’ve ever seen.

    But pregnant women are hot (sometimes) and this one definitely is. I’d like to see the rest of the pictures, please… and maybe you could not look at me for 3 or 4 minutes, while I flip through them?

  95. I agree. Katrine is one smoking hot pregnant woman *insert cum dog millionaires rant here*.

    Am i the only one who thinks Chris is a sick/twisted pdf file?

  96. Mcowles is making me wish I had taken pics.

    I can see ‘C’, ‘F’ & ‘G’ stickers on the neck of that bass.

  97. I just died when I read the first entry.

    Poor James. He could be a genius but when it comes to paint he eats his equipment.

    What a tragedy!

  98. Aside from the fact that Katrina’s pic is the most pretentious thing I’ve seen all day, I’m a little worried about the state of her sweater – it appears to have met a lawnmower, leaving only enough to cover her arms and boobs. She might get cold!!

    And I’m thinking that wee sexy Tyler Mark might want to sleep with one eye open in future. I’m sure he’ll still look sensual though.

  99. @ KennyChen… Did you know that there is a section on this webpage for you, it’s called “Douchebags”. Have a nice day, now fuck off and DIE. Oh, and Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! You sad sack of shit.

  100. Has anyone noticed that KennyChan sounds an awful lot like KennyChin? And it does sound as if KennyChin may be carrying a great deal of weight on his chin from that comment he posted. Hmm I wonder what Kennychin is up to???

  101. @ KennyChen (again) *insert rolling eyes here* Only douchebags like you still use AIM. So, yet again, politely FUCK OFF AND DIE! Oh, and Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! You sad sack of shit.

  102. Please keep it up, Svet! You guys make it worthwhile to log into LB.

  103. @ Prince Mishkin – Only a pleasure.

    KennyChen, eat shit. THEY LOVE ME!!

    P.S.
    That’s who?
    SSSSSSvetlana

  104. Maybe we should hook little Picasso with Chris. He can sit around and color his balls blue.

  105. @hanksr…smart one lol

  106. I ate candles as a child, and nobody ever called poison control for me XD. If they called poison control for little Picasso, then he’ll never learn his lesson.

  107. Is he having sex with his child?

  108. That’s just wrong.

  109. Crayons for kids are usually non-toxic. He’ll probably just have weird colored shit. And she should drive to NY because they buy shit like that up there.

    What is the bass pic doing on Lamebook? There’s nothing lame about that.

  110. @nevart, I’m no doctor, but I still would be worried about a potential intestinal obstruction, as I’m not sure that the crayon wax would stay melted at body temperature. I hope so, for that kid’s sake.

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