Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Quite a ReQUEST

previous post: ST(MI)Ds



  1. The “chicken kisser” made me giggle… how exactly does a chicken kiss anyway? *ponders*

  2. Yo Sam, I want an ‘Adventurous Friendship’!

  3. This is so sad (in a cute and funny kind of way).

    I know for a fact that I would not have taken the time to read all of Sam’s message. Too much from someone I don’t know.

  4. Corinne obviously hasn’t grown out of it or she wouldn’t have brought it up.

    As for the first one, why is Billy Dee Williams trolling Facebook for dates? I thought he just went to alleyways with 40s of Colt 45 to get women.

  5. @MonkeyCMonkeyDo: Maybe it was cock flavored?

  6. Did Paul send this in himself?

  7. Corrine is awesome! I love the “….. or disabilities” haha


    Ok, your turn:


  9. Props to Paul for sending in his “chicken kisser” ass-kicking!

  10. chicken kisser. Maybe he smelled like KFC.

  11. Easy on the eyes!!!

    Go me!

  12. I definitely dated a chicken kisser: several short pecks during kissing instead of one long passionate one. I dumped him. Got me a real cock instead!

  13. @Who’s That Girl?

    Well done. :)

    Ok, more difficult:


  14. Chickens peck, was he an aggressive pecker? Random hard lip bumps?

  15. haha

    corinne is bitter

  16. @ mcowles: Partly Cloudy

    I am the queen of puzzles my friend!

  17. Oh My word, if someone like Sam had to send me something like that I would be like…what a frea…DELETE!

  18. that was meant to be freak…lol

  19. Corrine definitely sounds like she’s just bitter that the guy doesn’t remember her. He was probably her first kiss, and most likely only kiss, since she remembers him enough to try and add him on Fbook. Thinking too much about him.

  20. Oh God. I’ve had the distressing experience of entering into a night of intended lovemaking with a “Chicken kisser”. Oh God. What a great description of something I had previously been unable to describe.

    I can’t stop laughing now just thinking about it.

  21. Sam is a rapist in the making.

  22. karabouuuuu – I suspect you didn’t need the “in the making” bit.

  23. hootie the blowfish

    Paul sent it in himself because Corinne is the one who is being lame. Bitter much?

  24. Corinne is incredibly bitter. He didn’t remember her from high school. I’m sure they’re both in their mid-to-late 30′s, if not higher, so it’s not a big deal that they made out once and he doesn’t remember her.

    Well, he probably still should have, but maybe he’s one of those guys that parties a lot and drinks/makes out a lot.

  25. Bad kissers = Deal breaker

    They get no further with me.

  26. @Who’s That Girl

    Ok, last one:

    T I M E

    (all the hard ones can’t be written out textually, haha)

    Bonus Puzzle:

    Ways It Ways

  27. Eww Corinne is bitter and sad!
    Totally pathetic.

  28. gingivitis– You’re correct. It wasn’t necessary.

  29. I had fun in those days…there are at least two guys I actually slept with that I have no idea what their names are. I do remember one getting angry at me for not returning his Nine Inch Nails T-Shirt…sorry fellas!

  30. @ word

    I agree… But you have to cut this guy some slack… He was young… And its not like chicken kissing isnt something that cant be fixed

    I mean maybe he cant bring the fire and passion like me… But he can at least realize constant pecking isnt hot

  31. @ mcowels –

    “Long time no see” (but only becuase I knew that one already, as the post is hard to visualize the “long time”)

    “No two ways around it”

    Thanks for playing, I’ll be expecting my prize money in the mail…

  32. The first guy is definately using a picture of Richard Pryor as his profile photo.

  33. I could understand why Corinne would be pissed off if they had a long term relationship or something, but making out once? :S

    Why don’t strangers ever send me a message when they Friend Request me on Facebook? I just get blank requests from people who refuse to answer when I ask who the hell they are.

  34. Wow, Corrine, you’re very pathetic. You’re obviously not over it if you say you made fun of his kissing “for years.” Was your life that uneventful? Are you that unfortunate-looking that “for years” you possibly couldn’t get laid?

    But I have one dated a chicken kisser. Cluck, cluck bitches.

  35. A 57 minute tune-up from Sam….hahahahahahaha, that is the funniest line ever!

  36. @the underdog yes it appers paul did send this in himself. why the heck would he do that?

  37. Hey! You look kinda cute! Just kidding LOL

  38. I like the Chicken Kisser ,he is a good sport :D

  39. Chicken kissers can be tolerable, at least until I figure out if they’re going to be around long enough to make it worthwhile to teach them how to kiss a woman breathless. The guy who kissed like a fish was a whole ‘nother story. open-close-open-close-open-close. Que romantique? Nope…

  40. @karabouuuuuu please tell me your screen name is a SNL Sprockets reference.

  41. I love how Sam only asks for 57 minutes, that’s pretty precise maybe he’s done this before? Either way I find that profile picture pretty sexually imtimidating; the moustache is somewhere inbetween a porn style one and a handlebar ‘tash and you should never give over 57 minutes of your time to someone if their facial hair is inbetween styles, it can only end in tears at best.

  42. Ha ha ha, how sad. Noodle is awesome as well.

  43. I was almost impressed with Sam for a minute, as he seems to be one of the 29 people on Facebook that can use your/you’re correctly. He ruined it by using ridiculous run-on sentences and by copying and pasting almost directly from what surely is his match.com dating profile. FAIL.

  44. Stretch;
    What impresses me is that you are able to recognize the match.com dating profile.

  45. Does this ever work? Seriously? Anyone ever sent someone a random, creepy message on FB and had it amount to something?

    Me too, BritishHobo. Adding a message to requests should be mandatory unless there are at least 15 friends in common.

    Stavro, if your name is really Stavros, I like you.

  46. The extra 3 minutes is the amount of time he needs to apologise for the absolute travesty of a fumbling mess the previous 57 minutes were.

  47. Fire and passion hey slim? Hmmm, you got me thinkin’.
    I’m just picturing someone pecking at my face constantly, and how annoying that would be, and especially if it was done on other areas of my body.
    My reaction would not be pretty.

  48. I got one of these weird messages before, it said “Hi (Kazoo), my name is Jon Brownskin I’m 5’7″ with brownskin”. I wish I still had it. also I immediately blocked that creep.

  49. @myfaceyourface:

    It was only recognizable by process of elimination. It couldn’t have been eHarmony, for instance. The weird old man running that site would have put up with Sam’s stalkerific bullshit for under three seconds before kicking him off.

  50. chickens dont clap

    Creepiest facebook friend request message I have ever received:

    “nice tongue”

    Yes. That was it. No, he was not accepted. Yes, my tongue was visible in my profile picture, but in a very innocent way (I was eating a cupcake). Yes, I was creeped out.

  51. I was also impressed with Sam’s grammar usage, but in the latter half of the post he ruined his chances by trying to sound like a hip 50 year old.

    Poor man, he looks like some lonely, divorced, college professor in that suit. I’m going to guess he teaches some sort of humanity or social science.

  52. Yeah I agree with DrKnossos, Poor sam.

    I have 70+ friend requests on Facebook from people I don’t know.
    Some of them have over 68 mutual friends with me but still, I don’t know them.

  53. Sam writes, “Let’s get together in one of those popular cafes…”
    This line reminds me of something Mr. Burns would say.

    “Let’s get together in one of those popular cafes…and enjoy that so called…iced cream!”

  54. chickens – I once got a message saying “You have very nice eyes, you should learn to sleep with your eyes open so I can look at them always.” Obviously I accepted his friend request and we are about to get married.

  55. LOL @ gingivitis. That’s creepy…serial killer creepy. lol

  56. cherry cola – cluck, cluck bitches, I literally laughed out loud :P

  57. Sam’s grammar is better than most things we see here on Lamebook. Still, it isn’t perfect. I must say, it really is refreshing to see “you’re” and “your” used properly.

    Anyway, 57 minutes is just way too long. 52.37 minutes would be much more reasonable.

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