Friday, March 11, 2011

Quick Winnin’

previous post: Lent Bent

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57 Comments

  1. FIRST!

    I laughed at the second one…my family says stupid stuff like that too

  2. Be warned Sara, little do you know he was trying to booty call you

  3. Fuck four days a month Kelly!…Although a slutslug generally only has the painters and decorators in for four days a month, it’s about another week to put the fucking scaffold up and another bastard four days to take the shitting thing down again.

    Basically what i’m saying is, unless a woman has a cock in her mouth or cock bin her natural state is a narky, miserable fucking fun sponge. The fact that she sometimes bleeds from her snatch makes very little difference to this fact.

  4. Is it wrong that I agree with Imamofo?

  5. Imamofo what the fuck
    you just sucked the fun out of this whole post

  6. What’s butt dialling?

  7. Butt Dialing, also known as a pocket dial, is when your phone gets bumped around and makes a phone call on its own. Usually occurs when people don’t know how to lock their phone.

  8. Bucket No it means you’re normal

    rusty What the fuck, why don’t you suck the fun out of my post dickwad?

  9. pocket dialing sound familiar?
    thank you for beating me to the punch rustyegg!
    his name is ‘Im-a-mofo’ so what more can we expect?
    seriously though Imamofo, we are fun sponges,
    we suck up all the fun so wherever we go it is with us.
    however, we don’t take spongy dicks seriously…
    I can’t decide whether you are a closeted gay man
    (my least favorite choice because I love gay men),
    or you’ve never had sex with a woman,
    or you’ve just been rejected/hurt really badly.
    poor you

  10. vcvirgil If it helps you to maintain your status quo for how the world works I will admit to being all those things…

    On the other hand if it turns out I’m just a Motherfucker with a dark sense of humour and an established bit of scthick you’re gonna look like a bit of a dense stupid cow ain’t ya… roll the dice spunk sponge, roll the dice.

    Funnily enough though I have had sex with a woman…and somebody was hurt really badly.

  11. #9 vcvirgil

    shouldn’t you be watching Glee whilst poppin prozac? I have to push a kicking, screaming and mortified fluffy baby rabbit in a large industrial blender, every time I read crap like yours.

    You know what happens when you push a spongy dick into a wet beaver? It will suck all the moisture out of that beaver and make it look it your grandma’s fanny.

    It takes a dick to fuck with an asshole but you clearly don’t have the balls for that. Fucktard.

  12. and what Imamofo said above, have a nice weekend.

  13. I have to admit you are funny.
    and I have to admit to being a dense stupid cow at times…
    but…damn it! is that spunk on my leg? fuck.

  14. what an image stomabuetel! thanks so much!
    time to go pop some pillz and pop in Glee,
    maybe I’ll feel better about myself in a few hours

  15. Now that we’re friends and getting on a bit better will you roll over and present your rump for me please?

    Is the man glue on your knee leakage from an earlier encounter or are you surrounded by a gang of Bukkake bastards right now?.. if it’s option B their shit shots.

  16. #14 You are welcome, I aim to please.

  17. I can’t decide if I am appalled or wildly turned on by the men on here.

  18. Imamofo I understand you are trying to be funny, but your coming across as an unfunny, offensive and misogynist ass. If you said that in public, as in to peoples faces in person, you would get more glares and offended/dirty looks than laughs. Guess what happens when on the internet as an anonymous person? The same fucking thing. Just because your friends and family would laugh at what you are saying doesn’t mean a bunch of strangers would.

  19. crazylogic Thanks for the heads up fuckface! I’m actually shocked and appalled that i’m coming across as an offensive misogynistic ass… I was aiming for scathingly witty rapist… you are a bit uptight aren’t you? Loosen up broaden your horizons, stop lampooning the lampooner, touch yourself more frequently.

    Now I know that a load of beaver munching fucking feminist lesbians will be coming out in force over the weekend to join your cause, but be aware of the following… offensive is funny… Complete strangers laugh long with shit like that on a daily basis…I couldn’t give two power wanks what faces folk are pulling whilst reading / listening… oh and mission accomplished x 3!

    LondonNymph your statement clearly shows that you’ve already decided you filthy little minx! Good choice. Bend over.

  20. Hey crazy, schtick: slang a comedian’s routine; act; piece; from Yiddish “shtik”.

    I understand you’re trying to tell him he’s unfunny, but you are coming off as a pompous, pedantic ass. Just because you, your friends, and your family wouldn’t laugh at what he’s saying doesn’t mean a bunch of strangers wouldn’t. I’m not taking a stance on the subject one way or another here, simply pointing out how the reverse argument still rings true. Logic – it’s a two-way street.

  21. I can’t be the only one with a vagina completely un-phased by Mofo’s comments.
    In addition vcvirgil, for God’s sake
    stop writing like this.
    It’s not a fucking poem,
    it’s a goddamned lamebook comment.

  22. It must be the worst kept secret in the world by now that everything mofo says turns me on

  23. I forgot to specify that, yes, I am the proud owner of my very own vagina.

    It’s also for rent. Times are hard

  24. Blondey Your name’s a very clever disguise ain’t it?!You’re a thinking mans’ crumpet and no mistake! I like your style…and your tits. I know I’ve never seen them but I’m going to carry on thinking of them like that anyways.

    wandr it’s no secret that you are without a doubt my favourite Canadian vagina, given half a chance, a free aeroplane ticket and some lube you’d be in some very serious danger of developing a hernia, arthritis of the thighs and very loose stools.

  25. you might be blondebimbo, and good for you, seriously.
    but my ‘schtick’ is very small, you see, like teensy weensy,
    and I freely admit it, if you can’t tell already.
    I need to exercise it, obviously,
    as our dear friend Imamofo has his so assiduously.
    And as far as my typing style goes, I’m glad you noticed ;)

  26. sandy vaginas everywhere

  27. dusty? or beachy?

  28. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    I LOL religiously at every one of Imamofo‘s “unfunny, offensive and misogynist ass” comments.

  29. or sandboxy? ewww
    I guess you probably meant deserted?
    who the hell knows I’m done

  30. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Although that might be because I’m an unfunny, offensive misogynist.

  31. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    crazylogic once again another Lamebooker lives up to their name.
    If you show this comment
    Imamofo I understand you are trying to be funny, but your coming across as an unfunny, offensive and misogynist ass. If you said that in public, as in to peoples faces in person, you would get more glares and offended/dirty looks than laughs. Guess what happens when on the internet as an anonymous person? The same fucking thing. Just because your friends and family would laugh at what you are saying doesn’t mean a bunch of strangers would.
    to a Logic professor, said Prof would personally pay for a plane ticket and a taxi cab and hand it to Imamofo. Take two guesses who then would be “in some very serious danger of developing a hernia, arthritis of the thighs and very loose stools.

  32. ah fivensky, I see I’m just a little noober

  33. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Finally, crazylogic, why the hell would you use your coming across as and then use your friends and family? if you mistake your for you’re in the first part, shouldn’t the second part say you’re friends and family? Are you assuming they are homonyms? Or are you just indifferent to apostrophes? What the fuck is going on in your head?

  34. Sandy Vagina

    A. A girl who displays random, unaccountable anger and unfathomable bitchiness over something insignificant.

    like

    “why are some commentators such sandy vaginas?”

    or

    “that chick really needs to get the sand out of her vagina over imamofo’s comments”

    b. A ‘man’ who complains like he’s a woman with sand in her vagina.

  35. yeah I looked it up too…
    I’m a nerd, many times I take things too literally.
    why my ‘schtick’ is so small

  36. Mofo is hilarious and he isn’t even German!
    #35 I almost regret putty that colourful picture in your head, you seem to be ok after all. Rest assured though, I always put them in head first.

  37. I really don’t know why it gets me, but I lol’d at Dukey‘s “Or are you just indifferent to apostrophes?”
    I feel a little sad for apostrophes, now. Sorry.

    mofo… I’m so raping someone tonight. Thanks for your willingness to use lube

    Are we having a meltdown this weekend?

  38. Oh for fuck sake people. He’s only just come back, will you lay off you unfunny fuckers. He’s funnier than you can ever hope to be …. ever. Fuck.

  39. Oops I meant to do that in a littleline by line poem. Just to make it look nice y’know.

  40. I agree with EVERONE exept you vcvirgil that mofo if one funny guy :)

  41. Dukey’s a misogynist?

  42. Hey, hey, hey leave me out of this — I just got here.

  43. Sorry I meant crazylogic not vcviwatever….oops…

  44. @Mofo, Thanks. I like to think people think about my tits. I think they’re lovely, so I appreciate you simply assuming that they are, make my day.
    @vc Of course I noticed it’s not exactly subtle, and as blonde as I am I’m not blind…

  45. PS when you were talking about you “shtick” being small for some reason my mind did not think about comedy. I was definitely going with a reference to dick size.

  46. I really wish you dickheads and assholes would stop causing so much friction around here.

  47. Am I too late? *bends over*

  48. yikes, I was responding on here WAY too late last night to make sense:
    For 45 *I am a blonde, not blind
    and
    for 44 *makes my day

  49. iamamofoisanunfunnytroll

    myusername said it all

  50. I’m pretty sure all these imamofo haters are one person. I refuse to believe any more than one or two people on earth could resist his charming banter.

  51. Totally agree ^
    I love you Imamofo <3

  52. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    #41 So I’ve been told Word. Shout “FUCK MONOGAMY!” one too many times and you are apparently a misogynist.

  53. Damn mofos got it all figured out. All you gotta do is say some weird ass socially awkward shit and people will be heavy on your e-peen

  54. @53
    yes……whats your point?

  55. So you don’t want to be tied to just one woman, Dukes? Well… you know what I mean. Nothing wrong with that, buddy boy. Absolutely nothing.

  56. @54…why do you need a point?

  57. Ha! You lot are going to be responsible for a stinky damp hand and no mistake!

    iamamofoisanunfunnytroll You are correct your username does say it all, let’s have a little dig deeper to see exactly what it’s saying shall we? Everybody ssshhh lets listen to its’ inner voice.

    Arrgggh he’s so fucking frustrating, he keeps fucking me up! I hate hate hate this completely rancid stranger, he has effected me so deeply that I must exact some form of revenge, to this end I will adopt his name within my own. I don’t care that this will draw even more attention to him and that I’m basically being his little bitchy promoter, I am positive that this will work. My lack of confidence and inability to banter has drove me to this, I often find myself awkward in social situations and I have an intense envy of those I deem to be better at interacting with other people than me. I am a redundant fuckpig. I often consider myself as an outsider but am aware that others just consider me to be a fucking annoyingly anal ballbag. I hate him

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