OK, I don’t get the first one. Just because she’s going to bed, saying a dog is with her counts as a bestiality joke? Huh? What does peanut butter have to do with it? I know I’m missing something and probably sound really stupid, but WTF?
It goes against comedy. First you have to think about the dog licking the peanut butter, then you have to make the jump to thinking about her spreading peanut butter on her vagina. It’s stupid. It’s like someone saying “I just bought a baseball bat and an oven”, and someone saying “By oven do you mean video camera?” because they saw some video where a girl masturbated with a baseball bat in front of a camera. It’s a huge, stupid leap that’s specific to a certain experience. Shameful excuse for a joke.
Evilcow, I don’t usually call people out on living under a rock, because who has the time or inclination to trawl the entire internet? I take a perverse pride in some of the shit that I have no clue about.
BUT… when the second result returned by Google when typing “peanut butter dog” leads you to Snopes, and you realise that this joke / urban legend has been around since 1994 for fuck’s sake, you realise that it isn’t actually complicated, or a leap in logic. You were just unaware, so it seemed random to you.
Yeah, I was almost tempted enough – being weak-minded and all – to call her out on that, too. But I just couldn’t bring myself to care enough. I remember back to breastfeeding and the month(s) since then, and it make me want to just curb stomp her.