Thursday, December 3, 2009

Push it to the Limit


previous post: Twilight Saga: New Goon



  1. Holy shit… Amberoni?!?! Mm mm the San Francisco treat.

  2. The urge to push is nature’s way of telling you to get the hell off Facebook.

  3. At first, I thought she was talking about she had tonight.

  4. Must…update… Oh shit the baby’s here? Wait a second while I finish my status line, then I’ll hold him.

  5. Err, a date she had tonight is what I meant.

  6. this is so lame…it’s sad :( Poor kid…he didn’t ask to be brought into this world!

  7. So her status update is a description of how wide her vagina is at the moment and she can’t wait to meet her son.

  8. The only thing lame here is this being on Lamebook. A woman can be in labor for a really long time. She most likely has friends and family anxiously waiting to hear news. And 8 centimeters is refering to how dialated her cervix is, not her vagina…

    One more thing…Wesley…?

  9. @Noobie: How wide her CERVIX has dilated at the moment.

    And there’s your anatomy lesson for the day! :)

  10. Wait, she has the urge to push and she is able to update her status on facebook? I give this woman a standing ovation. When I gave birth to mine all I could do was scream for drugs that never came and growl like satan when it was time to push.

    On second thought, I bet she got drugs, damn all the lucky ones!

  11. @Pooter: No one is saying it’s lame that she’s about ready to give birth or that people are excited for her. It’s lame because she’s ON FACEBOOK while trying to deliver a baby. It says, “I’m pushing,” and, last time I checked, women don’t push unless they want the baby to pop out.

  12. The countdown to the first poster to admonish everybody for mocking these facebookers because, how dare we poke fun at the god-smacked beauty of giving birth…commences.

    Also the countdown until Deborah reappears on lamebook with a picture of Wesley’s first turd.

  13. Single Mum, no doubt. Husband can’t hold her hand, so she reverts to the natural state of living life vicariously online.

    Best of luck Wes.

    “gooooo deb!!!!!” Sounds like Samantha’s cheering for her local sporting team.

  14. She’s at 8cm & updating her status on FB?

    I have a sinking feeling that the next lamebook entry shall be of Deborah’s placenta.

  15. All that comes to mind is that Salt-N-Pepa song “Push It”.

  16. @ pugged: I agree She must be getting the good drugs. OR she was high on meth etc when she got there. All I did in labour was yell at my husband, push the button for more drugs, (they didnt work) cry, beg for a cesarian/someone to kill me. I dont understand the need to post while on the toilet/in the delivery room. She must have vadge that seen a rough tour of duty to be able to update while pushing. She probably popped that baby clear across the room with that push too.

  17. ………

  18. You know you are addicted to Facebook…

  19. For Fucks sake!!! That is some hardcore dedication to be Facebooking while pushing to get that rugrat out. Bravo addict, bravo

  20. I wish you a happy and pain-free vacation from reality. Join me.

  21. I feel sorry for wesley… His sad little life will be on facebook forever…

    ~ “Deborah thinks its strange that Wesley has gas and wont latch on my nipple, is that ok?”

    HAHAHAHA Future seems bleek!!

  22. I wish you every unrealistic thing you can dream of, because I’ve read The Secret, and I know that it will HAPPEN because I have created this reality from my own little failful mind.

  23. this seems like something that woman who gave birth in a kiddie pool at home whilst her young daughter stood and watched* would do.
    kind of makes me sick.

    *see way earlier post

  24. Sigh, there goes my afternoon snack.

  25. @Anitalaff

    The Secret is all well and good, but it might be better if you dont go around saying stuff like that. You sound like a radical bible thumper, and it makes us look bad.

  26. @Underscore

    I think it’s sarcasm, yo.


    Hey, I’ve read three paragraphs about introductory quantum physics, okay. I KNOW how to control reality SCIENTIFICALLY!


    Also sarcasm.

  27. Ugh….really?

  28. safe to say Dr..there is no hymen

  29. The Scarlet Pimple

    Why are you facebooking…while you’re in labor?

  30. @ 8,9..I find it hard to summon interest in how wide any woman’s cervix and/or vagina is at any time…ever.

  31. she still had the time to update her status while pushing her baby??

    the power of Facebook.

  32. Underscore

    For The not-getting-sarcasm-WIN!

    and Our Lady of Labour Texting for recognizing the value of hospital drugs.

  33. Seriously, what is this society coming to?! This reminds me of the idiot who interrupted his own wedding to update his twitter and facebook. Ridiculous.

  34. I wonder if the kid will be as addicted to Facebook as mum is?

  35. “What’s on your mind?” and
    “What’s in your cunt?” are not the
    Same thing, Deborah.

  36. #35 Mr Haiku

    For The WIN

  37. Is anyone else wondering why there’s a person named “Amberoni?” Is this a common name somewhere in the world that I’m just not aware of yet…? If it is, I apologize for my ignorance, but it sounds fucking goofy to me.

  38. @mittens

    Amberoni… Sounds like come kind of pasta doesn’t it?

  39. @Poooter:

    Women can take ages in getting from not dilated to 4-5 cm dilated. By the time you’re 8 cm dilated, there’s around 2-3 hours max before it’s all done. This woman’s pretty much finished, and should be having giant contractions every 2 minutes or so. Must be an epidural.

  40. Who should I laugh at, the lady in labour or the friends who don’t seem to mind her Facebooking while pushing out a poor baby?

  41. hitmewithyourrhythmvic

    @ Mr Haiku – you are utterly full of win.

    And the post? Woman’s an idiot. When there’s a baby coming out of your noo-noo it’s time to put the phone down, stop updating your status and start concentrating on pushing the baby.

  42. i prefer calling it a yes-yes …

  43. hitmewithyourrhythmvic

    @ Father Sha – :-) early morning laughter.


    what’s her daughter’s name, buffy? or cordelia?

  45. In Pain? YES! Want/Need/ON Drugs? YES! Need to update your facebook status right now? NO! That should not be a priority!!! (and what happened to no phone usage in hospitals?) But well done on the coherent sentence structure and correct spelling even with pushing pains – Go you lil addict you!

  46. #42 Father Sha For the Yes-Yes WIN!

  47. @ Secret_Squirel – Coherent sentence structure and correct spelling? Let me quote:

    “Yes i am baby”

  48. caffeinatedaspirin

    She’s missing a comma, so what? it’s still impressive since she’s in labor.

  49. Yeah, if her epidural was as good as mine, she probably had no problem at all. There’s no concentration necessary or anything. It’s just a quick squeeze or two (or six?) and POOF, (squirt, really), BABY.
    Modern medicine ftmfw.
    And @45, in some hospitals, especially in labor and delivery, they allow cellphones and laptops. It /is/ kind of important to be able to contact to father and let them know the baby is coming, after all. It doesn’t make sense to me why they wouldn’t allow it.


  51. Wesley?

  52. Some ‘lol’ here and there and this one would have been pretty close to perfection

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