Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Problems: Everyone’s Got ‘Em

previous post: Blockbusted!

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50 Comments

  1. Ben!!!?

  2. Aww, I thought I was gonna be ben :(

  3. YorkshirebornNBread

    the power of advertising…I want a slushy too….wait, is that the same thing as a slush puppy, or does it mean something completely different?

  4. Toadette is the winner

    wtf is with these names??? creighton? berkeley? mel ilene? seriously?

  5. @YorkshirebornNBread, I’m not sure if you’re being serious or not, but I believe is referring to a slushie, a beverage made of slushed ice, such as ICEE or Slurpees.

    @Toadette is the winner, you know, people’s attempts at giving their kids “unique” names, but since they have a hard time with that, they instead use different spellings on common names.

  6. I’ll name my kids Yale and Princeton. Take that, Creighton and Berkeley!

  7. Also, aren’t god’s faithful children not supposed to have pre-marital sex? Did Jonathan miss the memo, or did I?

  8. YorkshirebornNBread

    phew, it is the same thing, I’ve spent way too much time on here…Thanks gwang..

  9. PeanutButtercup

    How could you lose a prosthetic leg?!?!

  10. @samewise – I think I missed that memo too.

    Also, a sick sad little part of me loves when people ruin other’s deep meaningful status updates with something like that. And of all things, a slushie. I love it.

    And whilst on topic, we have slush puppies around here, so I feel you yorkshire.

  11. Apparently, it is legit. There is even a picture of the leg.

    http://www.firstcoastnews.com/news/local/news-article.aspx?storyid=156878&catid=3

  12. YorkshirebornNBread

    no the scary question is… how can you lose a prosthetic leg that has a Willy Nelson sticker on it?

  13. @YorkshirebornNBread: a slush puppy was actually the original slushy =) it had the sad droopy dog face with the snow hat on. then came the icee with the polar bear….mmmm….slushies….

  14. @samwise

    Related to a comment I made over on page 2: Born in California in the 90′s there were 8 Harvards (all black), 15 Yales (all white), 18 Princetons (all black).

    I’m kind of leaning towards the name De’Gree to hedge my bets.

  15. there is a reason why you call your parents for mum and dad. Then you don’t misspell it.

  16. YorkshirebornNBread

    @bordchiklg: see the power of advertising, it’s 1am here, where the hell am I going to find somewhere that sells slush puppies? The shops all close round here at 11PM…b’stards! Wonder if I can make an adult version using a bag of ice, a wooden meat hammer, gin and a lime….

  17. ..and the leg has a Willie Nelson sticker on it. lol Classic.

  18. How do you lose a prosthetic leg with a Willy Nelson sticker on it? I’m thinking weed is somehow involved.

    Also, meat hammer? Do you not have a blender available to you?

  19. YorkshirebornNBread

    nope, I’ve a coffee grinder,but I suspect the ice wasn’t made to go in there…back to basics I’m afraid.

  20. rockinghorsefly

    lol @ De’gree – Soup, you crack me up!

    I really want a slushie now!

  21. I saw the leg ad on craigslist the other day!

  22. Holy God. All I know is that if I ever lose a leg (or any appendage for that matter) I am totally having a Willie Nelson sticker on my prosthetic.

    I think Creighton deserves some kind of “Graigslist” award although I’m worried that the more we know about Creighton, the more obvious it might be that the award he deserves the most is a Darwin Award.

  23. Creighton is FRODO w/herpes and, of course, sans pool.

    Many thanks to all of you who keep the “Ben” alive. Thx snortly! Nice tag, btw.

  24. I have a Patty Loveless sticker on my prosthetic penis.

  25. All of these are pretty funny.
    I think the funniest though Mel who thinks she’s been misspelling her father’s name this whole time rather than assuming the obit was just misspelled. Classic.

  26. MsBuzzkillington

    I would assume that maybe Mel is being sarcastic. Like the paper misspelled her father’s name and she is annoyed by it.

  27. HAHAHAHA. I love how the girl who wrote the pregnancy test fb status is a friend on my facebook.

  28. The first one was on the news, even. This city that I live in has some really special people. Smh.

  29. @ 4 & 6: It seems like every second update has a new rediculously complicated/stupid nickname.

    Isn’t there an addage about an apple getting it on with a tree and producing stupid babies?

  30. krasivaya_devushka

    “I want a slushy”
    Oh, that just reminded me of a hilarious moment shared with my best friend! ;D

  31. The first post has me singing an old King Missile song, but it wasn’t his leg that went missing.

  32. detachable penis. classic.

    word.

  33. If you’re having limb problems
    I feel bad for ya, son
    I got 99 prosthetics
    but a leg ain’t one

  34. Walter Sobchak

    I really appreciate the concern that Creighton has that the leg’s owner will be reconnected with the leg. I imagine that after posting that status on Facebook, he proceeded to phone all his friends to ask them if they or anyone they know misplaced a leg. He then might have knocked on all the doors on his street. And finished the night by phoning radio stations and local television news stations.

  35. Wonder what Boz is up to these days.

  36. @Yorkshire
    I also live in yorkshire.. we must find somewhere that sells slush puppys again! Pretty sure some places around here sell alcoholic ones! yummmm

  37. Walter Sobchak

    Is Jonathan’s post about Lindsay and she didn’t know who he was talking about the way he said she would?

  38. After reading this, I too want a slushy. And strangely, a prosthetic leg.

  39. I don’t know Maxwell. What IS wait and see, from here to start?

  40. angel on the sideline

    dammit, im trying to read this stuff and my brain is just singing “slushy.. slushy.. slushy” im going to the shop now…

  41. Maxwell has ED HARDY *snigger*

  42. Maxwell has ED HARDY *sn-iggner*

    (had to hyphenate the laugh cos of what it resembles and the resulting moderation! hmmph)

  43. Oops! I even put an extra n in there for good measure.

    Berkeley reminds me of that big hairy puppet dog from Sesame Street. HI BERKLEY! *RUFFF*

  44. haha eenerble

  45. My dads name is hard to spell too Ksadhfsagbvsgi is a bitch to spell when you’re pissed.

    Jonathan your God hates you because you whine incessantly and weep when you masturbate.

  46. The girl who posted about someone’s pregnancy test may not know that if you leave it sitting out past the time window in which you are supposed to read the results, it can easily show a false positive (an “evaporation line,” apparently).

  47. http://jacksonville.com/news/florida/2010-06-01/story/prosthetic-leg-washes-ashore-jacksonville-beach-police-hold-it-owner

    hahaha

  48. Jonathan, don’t be such a big girl !

    I go out every weekend hoping to meet a woman who will fuck me then forget who I am. Get over yourself !

    P.S. Do you still have Lindsay’s number ??

  49. Leg and owner reunite!

    http://www.channel3000.com/news/23790743/detail.html

  50. I’m Mel Ilene.

    And no, I was spelling my Father’s name wrong–found his birth certificate.

    I like to clarify that my last name is my Mother’s, my Father left us when I was a baby, I never met him in my life, my Mother told me what his name was and how to spell it–”Beihl”.

    So I was going through my baby book and found the Obit then his Birth Certificate and it read “Behl.”

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