Friday, December 17, 2010

Posted Problems

previous post: Drama in Farmville



  1. I used to work at a store that would be open from 5am to midnight. Doesn’t really seem to make much sense to only open for 5 hours either. Or… is it 8 hours?

    To be completely honest, I wish the yellow and white cords were labeled better. I have a really hard time telling the difference between the two. Of course, it’s an easy fix… but still.

  2. I meant stay closed for 5 hours.

  3. I have a feeling not many people are going to be helping out Jess “have a baby”.

  4. I’d do ‘er.

  5. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    with whose penis?

  6. stever, you’re sick. Or blind.

  7. hahahahhaaha, i LOVE the fact that they didn’t blur out the entire picture on the last one :p

    good one, Lamebook lol

  8. Maybe stever likes the beached whale type.

  9. Not to be creepy or anything but I did a quick search on Facebook of the couple and their page came up. There’s a pic on there of their marriage and it’s a bit funny.

  10. I fulfill the needs of the people.

  11. WTF Their wedding picture was hilarious.

  12. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. I had a look, too. There are no words.

  13. I’m open like walmart, Baby!! 27/7! 410!

  14. The little girl in the back is hilarious!

  15. They have 17 fans. And Jess has a moustache.

  16. Wellllll… there was a reason God wanted him to have a “vecetamy;” some people should not procreate.

  17. How’s that alternate universe thing going for ya?
    27 hours a day, 9 days a week, 60 weeks, 14 months, and 540 days.

  18. bollywood_rocks83

    They have 24 fans now including me :( It was the only way to see the wall and leave a comment.

    She might be a good mother. Who knows? But my issue here is that if she wants a baby, there are thousands waiting to be adopted or fostered. It just seems people like this don’t see all those children in the foster system as an option.

  19. You can see the wall without joining.

    Hi Cheche.

  20. jess has only been with her husband 2 months according to their facebook pages. isnt that a little soon to start begging for people to help you have a kid?

  21. It looks like some Lamebookers are leaving comments on their wall. This is going to get ugly, haha.

    Watch that space…

  22. @20, have they only been married two months or together two months total?

  23. wordpervert, well it’s been almost one year since the SWMBM-incident, I guess we need some new entertainment now.

  24. oh my god. the profile pic on chris rice’s page has two kids- a boy and a girl and an older woman holding assault rifles…

  25. Hahaha @ 17 that’s like a drunk rent song.

    I can only hope that my wedding will be as awesome as that.

  26. you guys are dicks. let the poor white trash try to breed if they want, and let their white trash friends help pay for it.

  27. @24 I think it’s meant as a joke, check out his other profile pics.

  28. @27
    Ah I see. I was getting worried for a second.

  29. europe, I didn’t like that one (I know others did) because her name was exposed here on LB, then she chimed in, and it all went to shit from there. These guys, on the other hand, have made a public fan page or whatever, for all to see and join. They may have done it with the best of intentions, but it’s not going to go well for them, I think.

    I won’t go on there and tear them apart, though. I’ll leave that up to you guys.

  30. Agreed.

  31. You bunch of meanies. But I am laughing at some of the comments on the wall.

    Jess and your husband, you two pretty much set yourselves up for this. Ouch.

  32. Quick Question… (Sorry if you need to get the retard hammer out and tap me on the noggin) Does Lamebook avoid lawsuits because it’s publicly displayed? How do they not get in trouble for this kind of stuff? Haha I’m just a bit curious..

  33. hahahahaha!! every thing happens for a reason ;)

  34. @32, in this case, how is Lamebook doing anything illegal or damaging enough to lose a civil case?

  35. I am a FB novice. How are you finding Jess and Me’s pages? please either link or give detailed instructions. I am so curious to see if these two are real people WHARF!

  36. @ ohmy
    if people are dumb enough to post stuff for the whole world to see…..
    they deserve it
    ever hear of the darwin awards?

  37. I haven’t looked at their page, but based on this post alone I assume that they’re obviously the slighty more intelligent species of trash if he thought to have a “vecetamy” and stop his ill fated bloodline from contaminating the rest of the human race. Thank God! …Hardly ever do I use a capital on “god.”

    Also, I’m glad I saw Nic’s post or else I would have carried on believing that they are only 24hours in a day. Einstein, Newton, Hawking, NASA, people with half a brain, the Egyptians, Greeks, Romans, Gregorians, you, me, Walmart, and my Rottweiler were all wrong. From now on I’m shopping at Target.

  38. Well, its nice to see many of you are real and that your cruel humor doesn’t just stop here. Lol. The comments being posted are amusing!

  39. @ohmygawd Type “help me and Jess have a baby” into the search bar and it’ll come right up.

    I especially like that on the guy’s page, he has listed his hobby as “cage fighting”. Please god let him sustain irreparable damage to the junk.

  40. Interesting. All that vitriol, and neither of them have yet to say a word – or remove any of the comments. Without their input, I can’t see this turning into another “one-armed” fiasco. It’ll die quickly. I’ve had my amusement with it now, anyway. But somebody call me if it gets really messy.

  41. Pheew! I just checked out the page, those comments are heartless!

    If I may, I retract my comment above. I’m going to find something better to do than contribute to bashing people I don’t know from the comfort of my couch, then have the audacity to think that my genes are superior to theirs. Quite frankly, there’s no difference between us lamebookers, Bobby, Phil, and the couple in question in the greater scope of things.

    Let the Saffer bashing begin…


  42. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    I just checked out their site, not a lot of hot chicks on Lamebook huh? Or maybe the hot ones are not talking on that site.

    Saffer no bashing from me, in fact I’ll bash anyone who bashes you.

  43. Wow, I agree with Saffer. Anyone who posted those harsh comments is no better than the people you make fun of on here. Get a life.

    That being said, I agree with one comment I saw. If they can’t afford to reverse his vasectomy, how do they think they will do with a baby?

  44. Everyone of you Lamebookers who posted on this couple’s page is butt-ugly.

    None of you particular few should procreate, either.

  45. Saff, I agree with a lot of what you say, but we bash people everyday here on Lamebook, don’t we? The difference being, of course, is LB is anonymous. I like my bashing to be nameless and faceless. Cowardly? Maybe. But no real harm can come of it this way. Well, at least it shouldn’t.

    Dukey, you’re right. I’m not commenting on that page. This hot chick makes her nasty comments here only.

  46. Dude who cares, it’s just fun. I don’t think most of us mean it. Just teaching them a lesson in not creating something so public which should be so private. :) Lighten up! <3

  47. and I for one don’t appreciate being solicited for money by any bum..on the street or online ;)

  48. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    southernbrunette can you guys at least try to be hotter so we have something to look at.

  49. I tried my best. Thought I did a pretty good job. I guess the tree screwed it all up.

  50. SouthernBrunette, if you’re the woman in the red outfit, in front of the tree, your picture screams WHORE.

    just fyi

  51. Thanks, I didn’t know. It was for a party. :)

  52. naughty vs. nice christmas party, to be exact.

  53. This is turning from bashing the fat, barren couple, to bashing all the Lamebook fuglies who joined their page. Fuck me. Life is funny.

  54. southernbrunette is a hooters girl. haha.

  55. And a single mother judging others for wanting to have a kid. ha ha
    At least they got married first.

  56. *former. Those were good times. :)

  57. What was the “SWMBM-incident”?

    Looked up both their profiles. Sadly, they were both set to private.

  58. Lexi – sometimes people are single parents because the other parent passes away. And I didn’t judge, I offered advice..after all, wouldn’t I have somewhat of a leg to stand on what with my experience? I still stand by my statement that this is all fun and games, you don’t have to take every thing so seriously.

    “At least they got married first”. That sure is a very old world way of thinking, in my opinion, but you’re entitled to yours. I’m of the belief that having or not having a marriage certificate doesn’t qualify one more or less to be a good parent.

  59. Lol, and a Ker’s WingHouse girl.

  60. southernbrunette apparently also doesn’t like Rick Scott. For that reason above all others, she’s OK by me – as Rick Scott is a big fucking crook.

    As I don’t want to be labeled as one of the fuglies, I’ll keep my commentary on the “me and jess” retarts to Lamebook only.

  61. Rick Scott IS a big crook! And yeah I should’ve kept my comments to Lamebook only, lesson learned. Nothing good ever comes from internet boredom.

  62. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    I can’t be fucking bothered to look for a brunette by a tree, but any chick with a picture that screams “WHORE” is okay by me.

  63. Actually, I think my picture screams “Merry Whoremas”, but I could be wrong.

  64. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Hmmm Whoremas sounds like something that could catch on. What exactly is this picture of yours?

  65. Ah, just your standard whore standing next to a standard Christmas tree. Just trying to be festive.

    ..Jesus loved the whores, you know..

  66. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Meh just put the pic in your avatar, everyone else knows what it looks like now.

    And yeah, He even did some freaky shit with Mary Magdalene’s feet. I can’t judge though I’ve done worse.

  67. Dukey, behold the glory:

  68. Good legs, thanks Soup. I couldn’t be fucked looking for her picture, either.

  69. LMAO. That’s it, I’m trademarking “Whoremas”.

  70. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    She was a hooters girl? Last time I was down south, Hooters girls actually had tits.

  71. southernbrunette, you’re good people. I’d totally bang you if you didn’t have all those crotch anchors.

    Word, you’re welcome.

  72. At least you can laugh at yourself, brunette. That’s a good thing.

  73. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Extra points for the outfit though, I love thigh highs they give you access without the restriction of a pantyhose.
    Now if only someone gave you a garter belt.

    Plus she is kinda funny.

  74. Dukey – I couldn’t afford them so I put socks in my bra. ;) All the cleavage I needed without hurting my wallet or back!

    Crotch anchor is a new one to me, lol.

  75. oh and you’d be surprised how many of the girls put socks in their bras, or wear more than one bra, or use those little gel inserts that look like chicken cutlets.

    It’s weird how it looks like you’re wearing so little, but when you get home you have layers of stuff to take off just to breathe again! :)

  76. Umm, I’ve looked at southernbrunette’s Sarah Palin Halloween costume pics. She’s doing quite well without implants. Damn.

  77. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Tell me about it. I had this one and when I took off her bra the fucking stuffing was actually sewn into the bra itself, talk about Victoria’s Secret huh?

  78. That is exactly what Victoria’s secret is! It’s all a lie!

  79. The “Help me and jess have a baby” page is up to 92 people “liking” it.

    Sic transit gloria mundi.

  80. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Any of the chicks in the 92 people hot?

  81. Don’t know. I can’t see the list of people without liking the page myself…

  82. Yeah what’s up with that? Couldn’t you at one time view the lists of “likes” on a fan page like you could view friends on a regular profile? It is disabled now.

  83. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Stretch can you post pics of southernbrunette‘s Sarah Palin costume, assuming all Halloween costumes have the sexy prefix and I already think Sarah is sexy then a “Sexy-Sarah Palin” should cause my dick to explode.

    Or someone post a joke (I’m looking at you Soup and Word ) I’m drinking and I’m getting bored.

  84. If Emily Ross is here, please stand up! I fuckin’ LOVE your comment on the wedding picture!!!!

  85. Dukey, I don’t know what to tell you. Sometimes it’s hard to come up with the proper riposte to lay upon you.

  86. *Dukey:*

    Here ya go…

  87. y’all fuckin’ did it now!!!!! All of the discussions and wall posts are GONE! damn it!

  88. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Anybody got a towel?

  89. oh snap they just changed the page name to “Screw You” and deleted a bunch of folks. lololol.

  90. poof it is gone!

  91. But it was all worth it because whereas they might never conceive, Dukey is the proud new father of a glistening hand baby. All thanks to you southernbrunette.

  92. btw does anyone know how me and jess will have a baby now?

  93. They deleted everything and then sent me a nice FUCK YOU for suggesting that a social worker would never approve them as adoptive parents.

  94. Wowser, brunette. Those kinds of pics on your public profile! A very, very public profile, now, haha. Bravo, girl. I wouldn’t do it. I’ve a few risque ones squirreled away in a private album, but very few (if any) on my FB get to see them. I take my non-stuffed bra off to you.

  95. @wordpervert – HA!! I definitely just re-did my privacy settings. Haha. It’s whatever, though, those were good times.

    @beaver – I didn’t get a fuck you message. I want one. :( lol.

  96. @southern – considered it sent!

  97. Well this was all a (mildly) entertaining way to wile away a slow Saturday, but I have other places to be. I knew it would die in the ass pretty quickly – one way or another. But brunette turned out to be a bit of a highlight. Thanks.

  98. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Risque pictures of Word? Word taking off her non stuffed bra? that sounds like a highlight to me.

  99. I should have friended brunette when I had the chance. Now that the page is gone, my opportunity has passed. I blew it. Blew it in big wads of sticky incompetence.

  100. 100th!

  101. Damn it all. I was a little drunk and tired last night so went to bed and missed all the fun! I want to see that page *stamping feet*.

  102. i wanted to see it too but i ALWAYS seem to be just a little late.

    @brunette…yeah i’m a chick, but just let me say, youre fuckin hot.

  103. Yes, thank-you soup and stretch for those links… @ brunette, you’re way hot.

    word, I hope you still get to see this before you leave here… thanks for being you, and all the best over the Holidays to you and yours!

  104. does anybody remember the name of the page where the people tricked a gay guy by writing him a letter saying that a (fake) guy wanted to meet him somewhere. The guy went there, and there was no one there. Anybody remember this?

  105. I am going to give Lynsey the benefit of the doubt and assume she has an old ass TV. My DVD player has colored cords,but my TV doesn’t have colored ports. It still doesn’t take too much effort to figure it out, but still. I am going to hope she’s not that dumb.

  106. Sigh. I’m the one that got the one of Jess and her husband submitted to have a kid. Now I feel like a dick cause she’s all sad. Hahahahah dammit!

    Oh well. For the lulz, eh?

  107. This is the 2nd person on my friends list that I’ve had submitted onto here and all I’m doing is pissing people off lol. Thank god know one knows I comment on here or who I really am! I would probably get the shit beat out of me. Oh well. They shouldn’t post stupid hilarious shit on FB in the first place.

  108. @laugh.out.loud, I’m Emily. I went looking for the page and its GONE or Im blocked, so I came on here looking to see what happened. I should’ve saved that picture its was hilarious!!!!!!!

    I LOVE LAMEBOOK!!!!!!!!!!!

  109. I dont know nic…but i do know that if i ever met him, I would hate him.

  110. @invaderweezle,
    I think this is the one you’re talking about…

  111. lol @ Lulz

  112. I think southernbrunette looks pretty.

  113. sigh, i always miss the fun.

    but some good did come out of it. I too own the red shoes in brunette’s Whoremas picture and I think I might wear them tonight.

  114. Haha! I love those shoes. Wear them tonight and spread some holiday cheer, and may every one have a Merry Whoremas!!

  115. Bruette don’t you realize that this is the internet and it’s reserved for ugly people? what are you doing here?

    The only thing to do is try and turn you into an aging stripper like we did with shinsplints up there. Hows that working out shin? I assume the winter months are keeping you in shape as planned?

  116. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    I found the wedding picture but my last 5 comments are awaiting moderation so I cleaned up the language and still going into medration seems like anything I say now is going into moderation.

  117. Oh man you guys I started some shit lol. The dude thinks it was his brother that got it submitted on here and now they’re in a huge fight and his status says that he’s gonna kick his ass on Christmas. hahahah goddammit. you guys! i didn’t want you to like their page and say all that shit!

    ohhhhh well. that’s what i get.

  118. wait, are you friends with this guy lulz? you don’t actually know him do you?

    What’s christmas without a good family beating?

  119. Lulz, your dedication to our amusement is commendable.

    If it’s any consolation, I’m sure that the they’ll make up, and the brother will be so moved by the plight of the dude and his wife, he’ll offer to pay for the procedure. Fortunately, the dude is so dumb that he will probably end up getting a mastectomy. It’ll be a Christmas miracle.

  120. Luls, please..screen shots of the fight. I’m so bored on this Sunday night.

  121. Yes. I know the girl. We went to school together. I will screen shot some of the stuff and post it… hold on.

    And only cause you’re so sexy, southernbrunette. And I’m not even a lesbian.

  122. I posted 2 links but they are waiting moderation. Hopefully they post!

  123. I love all my new bi-friendly girl friends. haha. :)

    I can’t wait to see, this couple oddly intrigues me.

  124. Those fools!

    For half the stated price, i would mount his house sized wife and hose her crinkly cock cavern down with my incredibly potent sex wee.

    It would not be the first time i’ve fuckwrestled a hippo for cash.

  125. Missed all the fun, damn me for having a social life.

    Mofo, you crazy motherfucker, nailed it once again.

  126. Paranoid, we always seem to miss the good stuff. You think these guys wait for us to leave? Hmm maybe they’re trying to tell us something.

  127. Meh, we can always look forward to some mind-blowingly funny puns.

  128. sexclamationpoint56

    im pretty sure like the first thing u learn in school is how to read clocks and how many hours are in a day and how many days are in a week. I guess Nic’s parents were too busy pounding back vodka and watching soaps to take him to school that day

  129. LOL that will teach me to try and find the page before reading all the comments. HATE I missed it. Nice pictures btw southern!

  130. @nexus
    yes, that was it

  131. Damn, I’m even later to the party than Curly and P.A. – damn work expecting me to do stuff. I can only see the Palin pic Brunette but I have to agree with the consensus on you being a looker. The whoremas pic is even more intriguing now…

  132. …the fuck?

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