I was trying to piggyback off other people’s internet on the weekend, but it’s bloody hard these days. People aen’t as internet-illiterate as they used to be. They’re all catching on and setting passwords that I have to waste time guessing, the bastards. Do they really think anybody’s gonna be trying to steal it?
Oh, Saffer, yeeeesssss! Those bastards can deteriorate badly. Not exactly on the date specified, but you’d never trust one that has been in some guy’s wallet for eons. Believe me, there are guys out there carrying rubbers long past their expiration. Who’d want to sleep with someone who hasn’t been laid since the 90′s, anyway? It’s a sure sign of a dud.
Gentlemen, when you’re on the front lines facing a hungry, desperate, stinkin’, dripping wet enemy, an old weathered helmet is better than no helmet at all. Just trust me on this one.
And just because a guy has old helmets laying around doesn’t mean he hasn’t been fighting bad guys. It could just mean he’d been using other means of neutralizing the enemy for a while, like covertly poisoning their water supply.
That’s true, but the post said they were only nearing their expiry date, they may still be good to go for a week or two yet!
In the tense situation you have described above i would resort to humour to fill any awkward silences, we could both have a good old laugh over how cheap and shit this particular brand of jonnys was. and then i’d choke her with my bare hands.