Monday, January 24, 2011

Poor Roland

previous post: Bread Winner!

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59 Comments

  1. Bam!!

  2. Bit ironic?

  3. Roland be mad wiggerish!

  4. Somebody needs to look up the definition of “ironic.”

  5. coincidental…

  6. Emeril commented 1st … neat.

  7. massy…..</3

    I think Roland would chin up if he had a good kick in the taintgooch. Someone needs to find his balls, too. I think his weeping cunt inhaled it for comfort food.

    Wee woo.

  8. mass, I didn’t get your reference, so I googled Emeril (God, I really need to get back to work). It has something to do with Chef Emeril, right? He says “Bam!”? Is that what you meant?

  9. ..it is, word.

  10. I think Walter’s mad at me because he has an airplane toilet in his house.

  11. .. and Keona just thinks I’m an asshole…sigh.

    much <3

  12. he has a toilet that leslie neilson shat on? bet he would get loads for that on ebay

  13. #12 ‘into’

  14. conor made a whoopsy

  15. Conor (I’m not fond of the necessity to call you by name), but, if you’re going to troll, make it at least a little bit… something. Your efforts, so far, have been truly, madly, limp, dick.

  16. how was that trolling???

    that was an honest mistake of mixing up on and into

  17. Well if what you’re doing isn’t trolling, then that just makes it sad. As someone I love dearly recently said to someone else… get a life, foreskin.

  18. oh wordy pants. get a life? you and britishHobo are 2 of the oldest members and commentators on here….oh wordy poo.

    well done

  19. I have decided the humor in exceedingly condescending pompous pretentious exorbitant vernacular is of behemoth proportions

  20. your exceedingly condescending

  21. It’s official: Lamebook comments are now the worst on the web, taking the title from former champions YouTube, Urban Dictionary, and CNN.

    Congratulations!

  22. Thanks for contributing Beebop.

  23. Well, ladies and gentlemen, I guess now that it’s official, we should just carry on with the plan and make our way over to 100awfulthings. Good work team!

  24. agreed 21…….and since no one else will, i will, in short, explain why:

    lamebook has become lamer than the lameness it initially tried to point out simply because in this competitive world of online commentating, this website has evolved from uninspired yet kind of funny postings with message boards composed by a handful of witty members posting mildly humorous observations and reflections regarding the downfalls of humanity, to pitiful online flirters (you know who i’m referring to), who clearly have no love in their lives and possibly no lives in general (possibly, but still probably), ridiculing each other, with nothing even slightly funny to say… about anything. and other than doing some mediocre spelling and grammar checking and complaining that nothing is funny there is a lack of….well everything. and by lack of everything i mean there is nothing funny about anything on here anymore simply because even if something is funny there’s always that one jerkoff waiting to tell you it’s not funny, why it’s not funny, why you’re clearly just way too dense for lamebook if you think it’s funny. you’re on lamebook. be lame. it’s funnier than trying so very hard to impress your lamebook peers. so i guess what i’m trying to say is, this is, in itself, also evidence of the downfall of humanity, even though most people reading these messages wont say it. and even though this website is all about hurting each other’s feelings, which i am totally all for, i’m not going to point any fingers at who may have caused this degradation from a comical little corner on the internet to a place where the unfunny trying to be funny for the sake of getting attention can find some validation. you know who you are, we all know who you are.
    now, i’m not complaining, i’m simply explaining for the better of you to understand. and since the legal fund has gone up quite a few notches i’m starting to think a lot of people really need some kind of help if they’re donating their own hard earned money to…this.

  25. Not everyone who visits Lamebook participates in the types of comments you mention. Donating to Lamebook is not a donation to the users who comment. I would like to see them be able to raise their funds, in hopes that they could beat Facebook. It’d be a basic story of the underdog. It’s also interesting because I’m not sure if Failbook is being sued by Facebook (yet?).

  26. @24
    First of all, it’s clear by pitiful flirters you are referring to imamofo and everyone else. I’ll have you know there is also a very physical component to that relationship. Now, I won’t even get into your grammar and all your spelling mistakes plus there is nothing funny in this paragraph and you’re clearly dense for thinking anything is funny here. Although I think I speak for all my lamebook peers when I say we are very impressed with this paragraph so you did a good job there. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get back to my third job so I can donate to this site.

  27. @24, *POTATO!

  28. Did mb go and get herself new login? It all sounds very much like the weekend rant only without the bit about being an educated, former lingerie model.

    Lamebook, please post pictures of zebras minus ze bras.

  29. No, I like zebras.

  30. @24
    tl;dr
    It had to be said.

  31. zebras is a dude. A dude known by many other dude names.

  32. let the ACCUSATIONS BEGIN

  33. “if something is funny there’s always that one jerkoff waiting to tell you it’s not funny”

    That’s you.

    Nietzsche said “The man who fights too long against dragons becomes a dragon himself.”

  34. dragons are silly walter. just silly.

  35. Say that to a dragon and he’ll learn ya a lesson about silly.

  36. The point is, Wallace, nobody here actually reads the comments, you dumbass. I sure as fuck don’t give a shit what you losers have to say. And it’s a little ironic that you felt the need to write a 30 page thesis on what everybody already knows. You must be dense.

    Now don’t bother replying. I’m changing my bios or something so I can’t come back here. An it’s like 630 in the fucking pm. And I have to get home to my fake wife. So just fuck off, ok?

  37. Hmmmmm, I miss katypants.

    Bad grammars, trolling, and dragons. I haven’t been here in way too long. Glad to see the arguing is still in full swing. Let’s get to it.

  38. Grammars? Ok.

  39. A wise man once said:-

    “Shut the fuck up you whining bitches and start using paragraphs you cunting morons”

    (I have updated my hyperlink, jus’ sayin’)

  40. Bloody hell, I thought it was hard enough to read Roland’s post. However, it was even worse trying to figure out wtf zebras was saying.

    Oh bollocks I pooped myself again.

  41. ya no, you’re right. i just really miss that 70′s show.

  42. Shyt jist aint got no betr… ppl be monin bout all tha comments, ppl not on tha lvl. Fuck y’all pitiful flirtes.

  43. Roland is, to coin a phrase, a fuckaroon.

  44. for fuck sake.
    zebra stole my meltdown

  45. Everyone should take their turn ranting. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I find the long winded rants really entertaining.
    Granted, I’m easily entertained.

    But yes, please, people, use paragraphs.

    Althought I assure you that I will read you whole shit, paragraphs or not. I’m that desperate for something to take my mind off mof… I mean work.

    Is the last thing she says “Well fuck me sideways”?

  46. Can I be next though??? im running out of ideas.

    i like how they write the long winded ones thinking people will agree with them. i like that about humanity

  47. “Stop all this display of poor grammar”? Wow, I hope she’s just having a laugh…

  48. Arguing on the internet is kid of like the special olympics. Even if you win, you’re still retarded.

  49. @47 you’re awesome.

    Why does everyone insist on posting their view of Lamebook in long neurotic rants lately? No one cares what you think, especially about the comments. If you don’t like them fuck off.

    Dammit now I’m starting to sound like those psychos.

  50. http://www.grammarbook.com/punctuation/quotes.asp

    period goes inside the quotes, LOL ENGLISH TEACHER FAIL

  51. ha, actually it’s not a teacher fail. Periods don’t always have to go inside quotes. Not in this case.

  52. The period goes inside the quotes only if it is part of the actual quote. Which it isn’t.

    WTF is this “Grammarbook” web site? Just because you find it on the intertubes doesn’t make it true.

  53. Actually, I am an editor. In English grammar, a period and a comma always go inside the quotes. Always.

    But, not so in British usage.

  54. Who the hell starts an exchange with “This is [whoever]“. They’re already facebook friends – I’m sure he’s aware who it is.

    Load of crap.

  55. @ twb155 – Maybe his profile is open to the public?

    @ nickyvw – Yeah, whatever. The period (besides the obvious “in my panties”) goes a) inside the quote marks if the quote is a full sentence or b) outside the quote marks if the quote is a partial sentence.

    Just so you know, “I’m highly educated and I pose naked for pictures”.

  56. I was namechecked! My life is complete.

    Even more so now that I read a post of someone correcting someone else’s grammar! Absolute brilliance. Oh, if I died now, I’d die a happy man.

    Although, reading another ‘rarr I hate Lamebook commenters’ comments thread feels a little bit like dying. But less fun, and without all the blood and shit.

  57. ‘And shit’ being an annoying way of saying ‘and so forth’.

  58. #24 Don’t start long-winded posts with “in short” when you’re not trying to be sarcastic (as hell knows the rest of the post is dry enough). If you start such a post with such a comment, just write “Isn’t postmodernity great?” and let the readers do the footwork.

    As relates to the kid talking about Nietzsche and dragons: what is it that you’re trying to achieve here? Nietzsche also said “If you stare long enough into the abyss, the abyss stares back into you,” which is just as applicable, without sounding so Dungeons and Dragons. More so probably, since Lamebook stares into you, and then eventually mocks you for being a nerd if you use your quote.

    As to all the prescriptivist grammarians, go read the intro to the 2006 copy of the Oxford English Grammar. Actually, first go look up what prescriptive grammar is. Then all of you go read Strunk & Whites’ The Elements of Style. It’s stood the half-century test of time for a reason, and it will certainly help you discover where a full stop goes in relation to quotation marks.

    To everyone else, have a nice day.

  59. Unwarranted self-importance much?

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