Monday, March 29, 2010

Polo Opposites

previous post: Feel the Love

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49 Comments

  1. Am I the only person who never understands these conversations? Not morally or anything, but literally.

  2. “^me”, oh god….

  3. Anal-in-the-Annex Anna

    I hate every day when I almost go to jail. At least when he finally has her jumped, he can hand out the “It’s A Boy”s in the holding cell while waiting to get processed in.

  4. CommentsAtLarge

    “soon as she gives birth im getting her jumped”

    Is it possible to disown Polo from the male gender? Having that alone in common with him makes me want to vomit thumbtacks.

  5. Here you go, j1010.

    Polo: I really want to hurt (/kill) myself, to show the soon-to-be mother of my child how much she misses me when I am gone.

    Kimberly: Don’t, Polo. Don’t make me come and hurt you because you’re trying to hurt yourself (??) over a woman. What’s happening to you, Polo? I miss you.

    Polo: You know that the last thing I want is for you to come over and hurt me, but every day I nearly commit a crime because the woman carrying my unborn child keeps screaming at me in the night. What makes it worse is that she makes it seem on Facebook as if I am treating her wrong. Well, I’ll show her!

    Kristin: I don’t like this.

    Kimberly: Who do I need to beat up? I owe you one, Polo. You sure know how to pick the crazy ones. But no woman is worth hurting yourself over. Polo, I miss you; it’s like your famous now, haha. I miss the days when we used to chill out on the block, with you singing songs to me… Try to stay focussed. Don’t do anything stupid; I’m here if you need someone to talk to.

    Ryan: Women aren’t worth hurting yourself over. Stay true to yourself, my friend.

    Polo: You should tell that to my crazy woman; we fight the same arguments every day but she never wins. As soon as she gives birth I’m going to get a gang of people to attack her. Yes!

  6. Snip, that was eloquent and beautiful. You had me in tears. What a beautifully dramatic piece of literature.

  7. You know that old classic tune – that lovely ballad “Bitches Ain’t Shit”? This reads like an early draft of the lyric sheet.

  8. nobodycaresbutyou

    Who thinks speaking like this is cool or fun? You know these people know how to write but just DON’T. You can tell by “Polo’s” second post that he knows how to speak properly. And I have a hint for “Polo.” Stop calling women “bitches” and perhaps you will have better luck.

  9. nobodycaresbutyou

    OH holy shit on a stick. I didn’t read the last post where this lowlife has actually procreated. God help us all.

  10. “keep it real homie” = “Stay true to yourself, my friend.”

    Snip, you made my day. :)

  11. Marry me, snip.

  12. @Commentsatlarge

    Maybe we can disown Polo from the male gender if we accept Kimberly in return…

  13. Ha, I love Kimberly’s second post. You forgot:

    *don’t
    *Po
    *and
    *you
    *because
    *you’re
    *trying to
    *yourself
    *over
    *what’s
    *happening
    *I’ll
    *too

    Hell, that’s almost a complete sentence right there…

  14. word!

  15. Once that “bitch” reads Polo’s page she’s gonna be wanting to keep that bun baking as long as possible! Squeeze in tight!

  16. I want to keep Kimberly just so you guys have to have Polo. If I can speak for womankind, no trade.

  17. JesusOnADinosaur

    I’m dying to see that woman’s reply if she ever sees this.

  18. Chinchillazilla

    Cracking up at “Stay true to yourself, my friend.”

  19. Shit, I thought jumped meant ‘dumped’ in Moron, I didn’t realize it meant attack :O

    You know, it’s times like these when Lamebook makes me feel nice and safe xD

  20. hahahhaah Snip! ‘stay true to yourself, my friend’= funniest translation ever! you’ve made my day!

  21. CommentsAtLarge

    @vandelay

    Either way, we’re screwed

    @j1010

    Would you perhaps being willing to trade Polo for a few trades to be made later??

    Am I the only one who hears “Stay true to yourself, my friend” being spoken by the Most Interesting Man in the World from the Dos Equis commercials?

  22. dietpillpyramidscheme

    I would actually be happy if he killed himself. No hint of sarcasm whatsoever. The world is a less bright place with scum like him in it.

    I’m guessing his “bitch” is also pretty scummy, but you never know.

  23. Oh Em Gee, Snip. I laughed so hard that I may have peed a little. Marry me as well!

  24. oldirtydrunkard

    it’s flag day, mother fucker!

  25. I love how Snip turned it into such a heartfelt conversation! Almost made me feel sorry for Polo’s dilemma.

  26. It takes so much more effort to type like that than it does to type normally. What retarts.

  27. Snip FTW!

  28. @ Snip: That was nice. I love seeing originality in here. It makes for great laughs…Word My Friend.

    This is clearly a cry for attention. Kimberly being the idiot she is fell right in to it. His self-esteem has been clearly raped by this girl that he thinks is the one.(Or else he would not still be with her. Of course he his an idiot though.) I think I could make him feel better though by teaching him English, and that he CAN hit someone and not leave bruises.

    It is apparent that Kimberly wants this cocknozzle something fierce. I can totally see this girl taint licking and cock chugging him all night long.(The following words are Registered Trademarks of Soup: cocknozzle; taint licking.) Thank You. 8)

  29. I don’t have anything to say about this post.
    I just miss having sex with ee in the afternoon.
    It’s been a while, miss you ee!

  30. The mark of a strong man is being able to get back on that horse and strive for your goal. Sure, sometimes it feels like you’re treading water, but believing you khan do it will make all things possible.

  31. LOL “stay true to yourself my friend” awesome

  32. the way she talks, i definitely want kim on my team.

    anyone else think she has a major thing for polo?

  33. lol

  34. Surely if “bitches ain’t worth it”, Ryan should be advising him to keep it real homo?

  35. I aim to please…

  36. tl;dr

  37. Kimbo is a ho foreshore.

  38. You know, I felt sorry for Polo until he says he’s going to kill her after their baby is born at the end. Another kid who doesn’t stand a chance. And just maybe ‘dumb bitch’ is super hormonal and losing her mind? Not that it makes any easier to deal with. But please, these people are retards.

  39. man i hate when i go to jail every night. shit’s going well, then all of a sudden, i’m in the slammer.

  40. The dude goes to jail everyday… makes me remember Trailer Park Boys, maybe he’s some sort of emo version of Ricky?

  41. @Mikaubodom

    I’d rather be an emo version of Julian, since I’d at least have a rum and coke with me 24/7.

  42. bollywood_rocks83

    Why do people procreate with someone they don’t get along with? She fights you EVERY night yet somehow the fighting stopped long enough to knock her up?! SMH! The sad thing is even if they break up, he’ll still be dealing with her for the next 18-21 depending on the state. Shouldn’t you at least know someone for a year or more before you decide to have kids if marriage is not an option?

    I’m done ranting. Plus am I the only one thinking he may not have wanted this baby?

  43. What I wonder if the baby is even real??…I hear of so many stories where the girl fakes being pregnant just to keep the guy in her life. OR if the baby is even his?…OR maybe she’s just picking fights with him every night because she’s HORMONAL and genuinely pregnant?

    Whatever the case may be, they need to just break it off. It’s so unhealthy and embarrassing–even though it, sad to say, provides some entertainment value.

  44. @35 Snip
    You pleased me :)

  45. lol wowwww..

    -God’s investment in you (His son!) was SO great, he could never abandon you!-

  46. …why does Polo think posting death threats online seem like a good idea? It gives permanence to your idiocy.

  47. getting someone jumped is not equal to death; it’s only a major ass kicking.

  48. but still not wise to advertise
    (ooh that rhymed!)

  49. hmmm

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