Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Plan B-Witched

previous post: Nasty Notes

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27 Comments

  1. First.

    And SOOO wrong considering I go to a school nicknamed Hogwarts.

  2. what? im here this early on?
    shit im so unprepared

  3. im just going to say that i’ve only watched one of the H.P. movies..it was that Prisoner of Azkaaabuuumblbeetuna??
    anyhoo ya…i was turned off by the first one when i witnessed that dumbass talking hat.

  4. I’d so bang Emma Watson given half the chance.

  5. @Stompeh:
    You probably also have her sex vid.

    @Dirty:
    You’ve watched more than me. I’ve only gotten through the commercials.

  6. Heh heh. This one made me laugh a little.

  7. @3: Isn’t bumblebee tuna an Ace Ventura quote? Also, how dare you assume that “watching the movies” is the correct way to experience HP?

    @4: Oh hell yes.

    They probably have a handy little long-lasting contraceptive spell they cast on all the kids at the beginning of each year, just to be on the safe side. Or they put it in their pumpkin juice.

  8. Bumblebeetuna is indeed an Ace Ventura reference, and thanks DLP – I’ve used that one twice in the last two weeks and NO ONE knew what I was talking about. I now know I’m not crazy, or at least if I am I’m not alone.

  9. should i watch/read harry potter just so i can get these frequent hogwarts-themed lamebook posts…?

    naaah, i’ll just continue with the much more rewarding enterprise of photographically documenting every bowel evacuation i’ve ever done that bears a resemblance to a letter of the alphabet (upper case).

    i just need a ‘Q’ and a ‘B’. six, long, hard, years. seriously. please, just stop for a moment and think about all the other impossible-seeming letters my rectum has exquisitely sculpted. a ‘Q’ and a ‘B’. come on, baby. papa needs a brand new bag….

  10. I guess Bertie Bott’s beans has a contraceptive version, too….

    No wonder they’re mentioned throughout the series

  11. @10:
    Now I have an infomercial for Bertie Bott’s Every Flavored Condoms in my head. Thanks ….. jackass.

  12. There would be no teen pregnancy problem at Hogwarts – Hermione and her cronies all suck.

  13. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Ahh Word thank you for that visual.

  14. Blah

  15. I can’t wait for the next in this epic series..

    “Harry Potter and the Fucking Retarded Adult Reader”

    It’s all about a bunch of fuckpig so called grown-ups who read childrens books and then go around trying to convince their more sophisticated peers that the books are a good read. and magic wizards with special spells ooooooh!

  16. Dumbledore!

  17. @11 – Oh, that’s nothing……, bitch

  18. I don’t know why I found Amy’s ‘i think they just don’t win the house cup that year’ so hilarious.

    But IT MADE ME LOLIRL.

  19. 15, dude, that’s the oldest and most retarded complaint about that series ever. And so simplified.

    Lord of the Rings? Just some elves and shit.
    Lord of the Flies? It’s about kids. Lame. Adults read this shit?

    I know I sound absurdly defensive, but it’s only because that’s the oldest and most annoying complaint about the series.

    That and my Gryffindor robe is still in the wash, and I’m pissed off.

  20. @BritishHobo

    Lords of the Flies actually is a masterpiece when you actually understand the main theme, which is a view on people behaving in a lawless place & as a symbolic microcosm of society. I thought you were bright enough to figure that out.

  21. @Sev-O

    You are stupid.

  22. my anal alphabetti spaghetti is a masterpiece.

  23. @Hobo

    Read some Byron or flick through a copy of Playboy or Fiesta Readers Wives. Leave Harry Potter for the angst riddled teens to chew through.

    Do you consider the Harry Potter stuff to be of comparable value to literature as the Lord of the Rings?

    Can you see a pair of tits or some random fellas wife showing her clunge in the Harry Potter stuff? NO. Case Closed.

  24. Fun fact – Harry Potter was orinigally a book for adults. It was only after the first one was published the first time that they decided to change it to being for kids.

  25. no it wasn’t. It was a bedtime story for her kids. Not adults.

  26. Hang on, tits and a clunge is what makes classic literature? Somebody better tell Charles Dickens…

  27. Imagine if Estelle had let Pip touch her tits or if there had been a scene where Nancy poked herself!

    That would have made those good books, GREAT books don’t you think?

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