Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Pissed Over Piss

previous post: Let’s Talk About Sex

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68 Comments

  1. Lol that wasn’t my intention.

  2. Pissing on a stick debate aside, I’m still at a loss for WHY THE FUCK PEOPLE POST THIS SHIT ON FACEBOOK?!

  3. I guess I wasn’t clear. I meant she could have divided the pee she got from her pregnant friend into two containers – one she used to show her boyfriend the first at-home test (using an eye dropper.)

    She could then take her boyfriend with her to a clinic. When they say: ‘go pee in this cup’ and she goes into the bathroom with her purse/sample to carry out her plan.

    A clinic would pull out a pregnancy test that looks pretty much the same as an at-home test and get the positive result. They would also do the blood work to check for STDs and the like. Never did I say she was “sticking a needle herself” – I said that would be done at the clinic. Of course the blood work would say she wasn’t pregnant. But all she needs in that instant, a doctor with an hCG level pregnancy test to come into the little room and say to Matt that his life is about to flash before his eyes. All the blood work results would be sent to a lab AFTER the urine test at a walk-in clinic.

    As for why Matt can’t wait for the blood test (which would be hours, if not the next day) – god knows. Maybe he’s not very smart?

    Look, it’s all very contrived and I was just offering a theory on how a woman with stolen urine might be able to convince a guy that she was in fact, pregnant. An at-home test can yield a positive result from urine saturation, so he might not take that at face value. If he marched her to a clinic and the lab did the hCG and blood work (with the results of the blood work coming a few hours later, and remember they would be phoning HER not Matt with the results, so she could say whatever she wanted on her end of the conversation) and there you have it – faked pregnancy.

  4. Wow, somebody sound the Wallace alarm, we got ourselves a live one here.

    (Good usage of paragraphs though)

  5. I didn’t mean Kelli was smart, but we’re not talking about a bunch of geniuses here. Kelli played Matt, played her pregnant friend Rachelle into giving her a urine sample, and (apparently) her own sister. To me, Matt is the biggest idiot of the bunch for:

    a) sleeping with Kelli in the first place.
    b) not using a condom.
    c) not waiting for the blood test.
    d) marrying Kelli even though the plan was to put the baby up for adoption.
    e) Kelli said ectopic pregnancy, wouldn’t her newlywed hubby go to surgery with her as she deals with this? A natural miscarriage (which Kelli would have been smarter to feign) and an ectopic pregnancy are two very different things.

    It’s all starting to sound like a Scooby Doo special to me. “And Kelli would have gotten away with it all, too! If only Rachelle had kept her mouth shut.”

  6. And I apologize for being a Wallace *pant pant* I’m done now. πŸ™‚

    Can I bring my rooster to the farm animal sex swap? He doesn’t have lips to put lipstick on, but the combination of feathers, wattle and beak are a BDSM experience not to be missed. If you prefer a more placid animal, I have a show pony. πŸ˜‰

  7. korrigan have you been around long? How did you get a capital in your name?

  8. I registered a long time ago, lurked way back in the day (I remember vaguely who ee was, if that’s any indication.) Dukey Smoothy Buns (is that from Johnny Test, Dukey?) Paranoid Android, and tons of others have capitalized names. Did they stop allowing that after a certain point? I didn’t realize a capital was unusual.

  9. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Pretty much the same? really? So what the fuck do they go to school for all those years for? just send them to Wal-mart to read those boxes and give them a fucking diploma then.
    The reason I don’t like your theory is because you are implying that Mike/Matt is way more stupid than someone who used borrowed urine to facilitate a marriage and by the fuck I am hoping that is not possible.

  10. Since the festive season. Some users were smart enough to quickly revert to their usual user names when a troll came and shook things up. I took my sweet time changing back from antixmas to saffer and lost my original username with a capital. πŸ™

    *moment of silence*

  11. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    And yeah it is from Johnny test. Lamebook has banned spaces and non-lowercase letters from all user names. I know because I got kicked out once and when I tried to sign up again the had all these fucking rules.

  12. Oops!…

    *Matt not Mike

    * Morrigan not Korrigan

  13. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Don’t worry Saffer, you will still be Duchess Buns to me.

  14. ahh thank you finally acknowledging that Dukey πŸ™‚

  15. At a walk-in clinic with a general practitioner, it’s a lab tech. and a standard pregnancy test exactly like you’d get at Wal-Mart. They do check hCG levels, but it doesn’t say in the OP how many weeks or months pregnant Rachelle was when she handed over her urine. It was a wayward theory, unprobable perhaps, but along the same far-fetched lines of someone letting you have their pregnant urine KNOWING that you were going to use said urine to trap a man into marrying you.

    I have an extremely low opinion of Kelli – she’s thick as two short planks. Can we just agree they’re all idiots? I don’t want to arose the ire or face palms of Sir Dukey Smoothy Buns.

    Sorry you lost your original name, saffer. I was lurking around Christmas, I saw when wordpervert got trolled/hacked whatever that moron was doing. Imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, but it’s the lowest form of creativity.

    * Sorry about the all caps in knowing up there, I’m off to look up italics on LB.

  16. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    I don’t want to arose the ire or face palms of Sir Dukey Smoothy Buns. Indeed :D.

    Don’t blame me Morrigan, my brain is just having a really hard time accepting the existence of these levels stupidity.

  17. Sir Dukey Smoothy Buns, but there’s always someone worse off…just when I think I’ve heard of the dumbest shit alive, LB provides another one (they’re good like that.)

    Do I get half a point for knowing it was Matt not Mike? Or is bringing that up more likely to get me the dreaded face-palm? Because if it is, I didn’t bring it up. πŸ™‚

  18. Makaylah??? I spelled it as above, but my iPad corrected it, which is pretty scary. Anyway I heard a mom yelling at an Arizona and a Dublin in target today, my heart broke. Then I saw a Sowkenya on a friend’s Facebook. I hate everything.

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