Friday, January 6, 2012

Picture These Problems

previous post: Now It Hurts



  1. I just don’t get why someone would post a picture of themselves with a shot foot, that they did themself!! what a fucking idiot.

  2. Again you guys forget to blur out a name. Are you fucking retarded or something?

  3. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    It’s gonna be pretty hard to have your foot in your mouth after you just shot it.

  4. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Oh and that girl DEFINITELY looks pregnant, maybe she just doesn’t know the dad yet so she is hiding her pregnancy from everyone.

  5. Why you mad boomstick?

    The slip-up with the gun ruins them for those of us who aren’t mentally retarded since childbirth.

  6. Why is she mad at somebody correctly implying that she’s carrying weight around her middle. Baby or fat, what’s the difference? Eat the nachos, suffer the consequences.

  7. Codename Dutchess

    I have a really hard time believing that the second one is real, if anything he would have shot himself in the dick based on the way he shows that bad boy off (the gun, not his dick).

    And goddamn if it isnt funny when fat chicks complain about people assuming they’re pregnant. Call it a food baby and smoke up, Nicky!

  8. @ Saffer…YES awesome comment!!! :D

  9. She definitely looks preggo. And Nick and Nicky? That’s a weird name combo.

    The 2 pictures are 8 hours apart. He didn’t shoot himself right then. The gun was probably moved during the elapsed time. It was also probably on a hair trigger and the safety was off. The guy is a dipshit.
    Sweet gun though.

  10. another fat cunt who we’re supposed to pretend looks perfectly fine in a too short/too tight/too lumpy outfit that she wouldn’t dare have gone out in public in 5 years ago.
    fuck you klhloe kardassian and the British for making big boned bints think it’s ok to leave the house like this.

  11. Codename Dutchess

    lex– I realize anything is possible, the video of the gun safety instructor who shoots himself in the leg is pretty funny considering we know he didnt die because of it. It’s just that the whole euphemism about “shooting yourself in the foot” combined the ammount of FAKE posts on here leads to believe it didnt happen. Funny nonetheless.

    Ryan is also an idiot for addressing his bro man dude when Nicky was the one who posted the pic. Unless he was trying to be a douchenozzle. In which case, douche on.

  12. @JennySlade
    you are really a piece of sh*t. congratulations on being so ignorant. it is because of disgusting and ignorant people like yourself that there is such a negative stigma with larger women. you have no right to tell anyone what they can and cannot wear regardless of their size. so please shut your trashy mouth and go and educate yourself; the world isn’t filled with only size 0 women, but people of all different shapes and sizes who have the right to wear what they please.

  13. thanks for clearing that up fat soccer mom!

  14. ps there should be a stigma attached you fuck-it’s promoting an unhealthy lifestyle :)

  15. Did Mr. Sharpshooter take photos of himself while driving his car?

  16. hootie the blowfish

    You can always tell when it’s a fat chick posting because they use the phrase “larger women” to try and soften the blow of the realization that they’re fat chicks.

    And fat chick, you’re absolutely right that fat chicks have the right to wear anything they want. And others have the right to think that they look absolutely terrible when that something is a dress that was meant for someone half their size. In this photo, the chick DOES look pregnant, so she’s an asshole for getting an attitude when someone thinks she’s pregnant. If she doesn’t want that mistake made, she should lay off the Snickers bars or get some looser fitting clothes.

  17. I don’t really think that woman looks fat.
    Not slim. But not fat.
    But hey, what do I know.

    InB4 *noms on Snickers*

  18. If women would rather stuff their faces with pizza and run the risk of abdominal fat (a great precursor for Type 2 diabetes by the way), by all means go ahead. But don’t choose a dress in an unflattering cut and fabric, then expect people to not point out that you look pregnant. Get yourself some Spanx, get a fitted dress that flatters your figure and continue to use female body image empowerment as an excuse to be an unhealthy, greedy bitch.

  19. Exactly, Minx. That style of dress, especially in that fabric, does not lie. It will reveal the truth of what lies beneath every single time. Even slim girls don’t look that good in dresses like that. Nicky, if I met you for the first time and you were wearing that huge fashion fail, I’d probably ask you when you were due because, honey chops, you absolutely look like you’re with child.

  20. Eat some ice cream
    Nicky, it is a comfort food. And it might cool your bitchiness.

  21. leeeeeroyjenkins

    D’awww, once again, saw that gun picture on Reddit first.

  22. fuck off back to reddit then. soooo sick of these reddit fags.

  23. When the chicken brought the books to the frog, the frog took one look at the books and said, “Reddit, reddit, reddit.”

  24. Put the fork down, Nicky.

    And….JennySlade? *bro-fist* *applause* *<3*

  25. Alright, really, Jenny? I come here to get some good, original Lamebook posts, like God intended. Looks like YOU’RE the one getting your tits in a bunch, sticking up for a LB that’s already gone way down the drain. Maybe you’re the one who posted the picture from Reddit, or you’ve done something similar? Seriously, I’d rather have a lifetime of r/spacedicks than see these reposts over and over again.

  26. JennySlade, you’re the type of mother fucker I could introduce to my parents, I mean, well not my mom. leeeeeroyjenkins she’s got a really valid point, if you don’t like the LB posts, then fuck off…it really is that simple.

  27. JennySlade, fair play re: Kardashians what’s with the Brit-hate? Last time i checked pretty much the whole 1st World contained fat bastards who think it’s ok to eat cake all day and be fat about it. Especially the US, Australia and plenty of Eruo countries.

    So I just want to extend the invitation for you to cordially fuck yourself, courtesy of the UK.

    You’re probably hatchet faced and skinny as hell. Hope it works out ok for ya.

  28. all states in america should pass a law where anyone who accidentally shoots someone (including themself) loses their license. shooting yourself within a day of buying a new gun shows you;re causing more problems than you’re preventing.

  29. gonz, FACT, the fat slags originated from viz magazine in the 1980s. I take this as meaning that per capita, the UK will, at any one time have at least 4 times more as short as they are wide trollops with mouths full of British teeth boozin and faggin on it too short minis than any European, australian or
    american country combined.

    JennySlade only speaks the truth.

  30. leeeeeroyjenkins

    Crusty, I’m not saying I don’t like the LB posts. I really like them. The ones that are original, at least. That’s why I still come here, to see some shred of originality each day. Yet it truly saddens me when decent, original posts get scrapped for ones that have been on the internet for ages. Maybe it’s just me, but I like things to be new and exciting. That’s how my LB experience used to be. Now, I feel it’s losing that last glimmer of hope. Hopefully this isn’t the case, because it’ll be a sad day when I leave LB for good. :(

  31. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    To everybody saying shit about that chick, FUCK YOU I said it in comment #4 ‘You can’t eat your cake and be skinny about it too’. She is either fat or she is pregnant you fucks.

  32. drchalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

    I think that Lamebook shouldn’t blur out names and profile pictures at all. These are all things that the people in question have already chosen to publish in a public forum. It’s like quoting a newspaper article and having to censor who the quote was said by; now that would be retarded.

  33. drchalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

    And JennySlade is right about fat people looking like shit. Some things SHOULD have a negative stigma attached. But blaming the British…have you ever even BEEN to Disny Land? The United States invented fat people thinking they look good.

  34. @Jenny–What year did you graduate from MsAnneThrope’s Finishing School for young ladies? Props to both of you–keep up the good work!

  35. Hobb – while you’re right that Jennyslade may be a bit rude and extreme in her delivery, the fact is she’s kind of right (except for the Khloe thing – I think she’s adorable haha). Heavy women should NOT wear clothing that does not compliment their body! I’m full figured which means there are certain tops that look like crap on me. That isnt insulting, it’s just fact. Large chested? Don’t wear low cut shirts; carry your weight in your middle? Don’t wear skin tight dresses that accentuate the problem area! Any stylist will tell you that.

  36. And for reals: that looks like a baby bump. One word for “Nicky:” Spanks. Even skinny girls use them. Go invest!

  37. To our resident misanthrope:

    I’d like to honor you with this trifling gesture of making a LB profile. I now come to this site for your commentary–not for facebook inanity. I’d like to acknowledge that there are others who appreciate your offerings to society. Are there other venues in which I can follow your peculiar brand of vitriol? It’s like an illegal, highly addictive drug.

    Thank you, and good day, from all of us.

  38. Where is the jerk-off sitting in the first pic?? I can’t figure it out. On the toilet? In a boat?
    It already looks like he has some kind of brace on his foot?
    And in the 2nd pic, why is there no blood on his jeans or the dressing? This looks like a mystery, Scoobs!

  39. @36

    ‘Large chested? Don’t wear low cut shirts’

    Erroneous, erroneous!

  40. ^ I concur

  41. ^As do I.

    Dryheat, in the first pic, he’s sitting in a car.

  42. slicingupeyeballs

    Well I think fat girls SHOULD wear tight and unflattering clobber, just so guys don’t accidentally root ‘em after a few beers under the misconception they are slim (and surprisingly available) hotties…

    A noticably fat gut should flag up warning bells even to severely gin-impaired, stiffy weilding blokes looking for company at the end of an evening…

  43. Ugh, who cares if a fat girl wants to wear a tight dress? So what, they are fat. Half the population is fat. As long as all their skin is covered and they aren’t wearing booty shorts, I don’t see the big deal. Their big problem, not mine. And to be fair, fat dudes are just as disgusting. I don’t want to see some fat dude with a beer gut wearing a fitted shirt or shorts that show off his cankles, but I’m not going to scream at them to go put on a mu mu and never leave the house.
    And this is coming from a size 4 girl.

  44. ^ so, you won’t scream at them to put on a mumu, yet, you feel compelled to tell some complete stranger what to talk about on an internet thread ?

  45. Nope, sorry Crash. As a fat chick myself, I agree that we shouldn’t wear clothing that’s too tight or exposes too much skin. I blame those idiots Clinton & Stacy. One’s a man, the other is a twig, and neither dress themselves correctly, let alone fat women. Plus people keep mistaking the words “wear fitted clothing” for “wear clothing so tight it’s like you’re covered in colored cling wrap.”

    When a fat person wears clothing that is too tight or exposes things they shouldn’t expose it says they have no self respect or self esteem. That they want any sort of attention, even negative attention. They pretend they think they look good, but they know they look bad.

    That being said, the woman in the picture is not that fat nor wearing a dress that is insanely tight. Yes, she needs one size bigger so it doesn’t cling to her stomach, which is pooching out like if she’s pregnant, but it’s not second-skin tight. Otherwise we’d see a lot more. Also she really shouldn’t wear that color. She would’ve looked much better in a dark red dress.

  46. @Crashburger- Agreed. Love the mumu part. lol

  47. All this arguing for nothing. she’s pregnant. She was being a bitch. Secondly, looking like a sausage link is not atrractive, pregnant or not.Bitches, cover it the fuck up, get a “baby on board” maternity shirt and some pregnancy pants. You look like a whale trying to stuff your ass in an something that is cleary not made for pregnancy, there is a reason for that…. Take a hint, they are free.

    While we are on subject, allow me to add, I can not stand women who eat like a fucking cow and say I’m eating for two, bitch you are eating enough to feed a village.

  48. It’s depressing that some people have become so enamoured with Facebook that they almost get excited about shooting themselves in the foot, as they dream about how many notifications it will garner.

  49. @Jamisings- Agreed. I cannot STAND those two tools, especially Stacy. She looks like an anemic stick insect. They take people with unique senses of style & dress them all in the same generic, neutral, business-casual crap. I can’t stand “fitted” clothing either, it’s only attractive on a very small percentage of body types.

    The woman in the photo is average-sized, but she DOES look pregnant. That was my first thought when I saw the pic, I thought she was about 5-6 months along. She needs to not be such a stuck up bitch.

  50. perhaps the bulge is a vestige of a pregnancy already undergone? not all beer-bellies come from beer

  51. P.S.: what Zanzibar said.

  52. crashburger you dummy, the point is not about fatty-boom-ba-latas wearing too tight gear, it’s about them getting all pissy when someone asks if their gunt is a baby…

  53. -wait, is lamebook getting censored and posts getting deleted?

  54. Jenny get laid, you are a complete bitch.

  55. The badass who shot himself is Spider-Man and this was a publicity stunt. In the ambulance he shot a web to the back door and he’s going to haul ass out of there. Go Spidey!

  56. btvsrcks, not really, she ain’t said anythin untrue right? Anyhoo, Nick should be rearrangin Ryan’s face for bein so disrespectful about his bint.

  57. @ jamisings.. Nope sorry Jamisings, as a fat woman myself ( depending on the season I can go from 190 -215 on a 5′ 4″ girl, since its winter Im heavier) I disagree. Live and let live….as long as I cant see their vagina/balls. Though why fat men would were tight clothing I have no idea.

    That dress is actually not that tight. If you look at her thigh areas, breast area, and shoulders you can see the fabric is not stretched. It is really just her stomach.

    And fat people don’t have to dress in mumus because they are fat. While I don’t want to see the fat rolls on a girl wearing a tube top, I’m not adverse to us dressing tastefully.

    Probably just jealous because you cannot wear nice clothes. I also love it how you talk like a skinny person. You act like fat people are beneath you.


  58. @Jenny
    Yeah, I realize the point is about her being a bitch because someone was a bitch and asked about her gut.

    I just wanted to bitch about commenters bitching about fat people really.

    I actually do think she looks pregnant in her choice of clothing, but I also don’t think the dress is ridiculously tight. It even has some loose fabric around the bottom. I’m actually not sure what that girl could wear that wouldn’t make her look pregnant, aside from a maxi dress. Either way, I don’t think it matters.

  59. Poor Nick. Maybe he should have bought his girlfriend a corset.

  60. The way it kind of looks like she’s holding her belly definitely isn’t helping her cause.

  61. Maybe she just had a baby and this is her post-baby leftover. Maybe there is a medical reason. Or maybe, indeed, she just munches too much. Either way Jenny, just because she got offended by the comment does not make her a cunt. Plus her dress is far from skimpy. The length is appropriate, there is no cleavage showing, and it is only tight at the belly because, well, she has a fat belly. And so what if she has a big belly? Does not mean she’s promoting unhealthy eating. Just like your constant swearing and insulting rants do not promote the “not-getting-laid” syndrome you seem to suffer from.

  62. ^Bravo! Well said #62.

  63. go take your fat kids for a walk, pay attention to them and get the fuck out of the house for a while ticklebone.

  64. cunt.

  65. Did no one else notice that the gold dress is actually TOO BIG on her? Its a tshirt/ paperbag dress so its cut to hang like a potato sack. Its very hard to wear. Being more body hugging would have been more flattering and slimming than how the dress is cut now. Her stomach seems to pooch out more due to the angle shes slightly twisting at.

    And who cares if shes big? Most American women are that size or bigger. Its rude and trollish to make disparaging remarks on others photos like “damn youre bald” “whos the guy with the fugly teeth?” “have you tried Proactiv yet?” etc

  66. And the fabric is too thin/unforgiving. And too shiny metallic. Both those things add to the “preggy look” The dress is *not* too tight or small for her it ls just the style of the dress.

  67. Who knew lamebook was full of fashionistas. Now I know where to come for all my style advice. Biscuit anyone?

  68. Oh dear Jenny, I knew you were going to call me names, and also could have bet on my skinny behind that you were going to assume I was fat. But you actually surprised me. Instead, you went for the kids I don’t have. If I had them, I am pretty sure they would not be fat anyway. But thanks for the chuckle and have a good day my dear.

  69. Intercourse. What? It’s right after 69, right?

  70. Curlybap, not only are biscuits unfashionable but they also make you fat. You’re welcome.

  71. hahah Ticklebone. Don’t bullshit a bullshitter, you fat fuck. Go read those poor kids of yours a book before Child Protection does it for you.

  72. Zanzibar. I’m here now, my home site was destroyed by a dog-raping troll and the feds took it down.
    Fucking red tape, eh?

    RIP nevar fogget

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