Friday, September 17, 2010

Picture Perfect Wedding

previous post: Some Hype Type

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56 Comments

  1. Holy shit, now I want MY wedding in Narnia.

  2. If my bride doesn’t do a keg stand at wedding our marriage won’t last very long.

  3. i mean i know tim curry is rad and all, but who would really want to marry darkness?

  4. Ralph’s bride is awesome.

  5. Ralph’s bride is my new mentor. I strive for her greatness.

  6. I wonder if that’s Ralph stuffing his pipe into the new Mrs Ralphs’ gob?

    Sometimes Demons and Angels marry and sometimes pretentious pricklickers photoshop themselves and write sickeningly cloying messages to impress their fuckpig mates.

  7. It’s time for… The Hobo Brings Up A Movie He’s Watching Right Now Via A Tenuous Link To The Lamebook Post At Hand.

    This week… The Box. Because apparently the character’s rehearsal wedding dinner was a keg party in their backyard.

    …good movie.

  8. I wanna be just like Ralph’s bride when I get married. ::swoon::

  9. Ralph’s wedding ROCKED!!!

  10. Umm…on top of everything else wrong with her picture…is Amanda toothless?????

  11. Amanda’s hubby should’ve chewed the cake before feeding her, it looks like she has no teeth.

  12. ^ Damn you, Ripley.

  13. Dude. Everything about that first picture is amazing. The shirtless groom, obviously, plus the ponytail, the cap that says “rebel”, the goatee, the ugly tattoo, the picture of a motorcycle, the store-bought cake, the glasses on top of the head, the way she looks toothless, his dirty hand.

    SO classy.

  14. anyone else notice that amanda is toothless? meth does that to you. hubby’s gonna get the wedding night blowjob of his life. hopefully they won’t wake up the rest of the trailer park

  15. wastingtimeoncompanytime

    The artwork in Amanda’s trailer is beautiful. I wonder if dogs playing poker on velvet is on the opposite wall.

  16. #13 I have to look at these people every day. Nothing is amazing about them. There’s literally thousands and thousands of them, and they fill the roster of the Tea Party movement. My question is: where the fuck did they learn how to use a computer? (Let alone own one)

  17. oh snap @ Ripley,, Kiri, thegreekmind

  18. Wait, are those twinkies in the first one?

  19. I retract my earlier statement, The Box is actually a steaming pile of dog shit.

  20. Amanda’s hubby looks like he just finished giving the General Lee an oil change. C’mon dude, wash your hands!

  21. Drop motor in truck. check
    Marry Amanda. check
    Beer run. check
    Watch nascar. check
    Shower and put on shirt.

  22. #1: I feel like they got up that morning and said “we outta get hitched, get everyone over here.” Also, do you think the wedding march was played by banjo?

    #2: Hellboy weds Pegasus.

    #3: Kudos to the groomsmen for having the presence of mind not to tilt her too far and have her pop out o’ her strapless gown. If they are doing kegstands this early in the evening though, I’m sure those puppies will be out for public viewing by nightfall.

  23. #1 – Lame.

    #2 – Dumb. This is the reason books should not have titles like “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”

    #3 – I wanna gouge my eyes out. And I pity the groomsmen and the live, mute spectators as well.

  24. Imagine not needing to buy toothpaste or dental floss.

    I wonder how many times she had to gum that cake before she could swallow it? Toothless people eating is something I hate to think about.

  25. That first one is the ultimate trailer trash wedding ceremony. Awesome.

  26. @wordymyperv

    Perhaps that’s why they went with sponge cake – it’s squishy and she doesn’t have to try as hard.

  27. Yes, Comments, as opposed to a croquembouche. Watching her try to eat chewy pastry covered in toffee would be like looking at a train wreck. Horrifying and fascinating at the same time.

    Something tells me she’s never heard of, or laid eyes on French pastry, though.

  28. One is a good argument for invasion of people’s privacy.Put out their names so I can see where she lives. My money says South East USA specifically GA,TN or FL Sadly, I do know women like that and sadly, as long as she gets that ring, she doesn’t care too much for the wedding part.

  29. I’ve never understood the ‘Quick! Someone pour bleach in my eyes!’ comment so frequently made in response to somewhat unfortunate images…until now. Being a photographer, I’ve captured my share of less-than-stellar events. But no matter which trailor park my clients might call home at the end of the day, I’ve never seen anything like this. Common sense dictates that, at the very least, shirts and clean hands are a must. Usually teeth are, as well, but that’s really a judgment call best determined by the person missing the teeth. Having said all of that, Quick! Someone pour beach in my eyes!

    Oh, and the hat? Considering what is probably under it, I would venture that the wearing of it was the smartest choice made that day.

    Just voicing my onion.

  30. wow, asriel, one of the most ignorant comments i’ve seen on lamebook thus far. fill the tea party movement roster? b1tc# you don’t know anything!

  31. @wordyperv

    In some parts of the country, feeding her that would be legally actionable as a form of torchure – both for her and those forced to witness. I would venture, however, she has at least some exposure to French pastry. Burger King does have a breakfast croissant sandwich after all.

  32. That’s classy, Comments. Burger King is called Hungry Jack’s here. I googled the breakfast menu for laughs. There is no croissant on there, just sad facsimiles of the McDonald’s menu. They both blow, but sometimes that’s all there is, especially on a road trip.

  33. Ralph, I envy you

  34. … or in Amanda’s case, a wedding breakfast.

  35. @Wordpervy

    Hungry Jack’s somehow sounds less cheesy – it wouldn’t work here in the states though because Jack in The Box would start a legal malestrom of epic proportions. For your viewing pleasure, here is the menu item: http://www.bk.com/en/us/menu-nutrition/index.html

    Totally agree with you about BK and Mickey D’s only really being road trip food. Though now I have Chicken Nuggets on the mind. Enjoy your planned debauchery this weekend!

  36. Ah Flash based websites — if you go to the link, click breakfast to pull it up. I thought it would link directly but no such luck.

  37. I have never wanted to see the rest of a series of pics than I do Amanda and Jim Bob’s wedding album. That is the most awesome thing i’ve ever seen. I want more!

  38. @28 – As a Florida gal, I’m offended that you included Florida in your trashy south reference. (Although if you go far enough from a larger city you will run into those people :-/ )

  39. Sorry, but that thing looks like shit, Comments. I shall pass on BK’s attempt at French fare.

    Chicken Nuggets? They’re fine. You enjoy your weekend, too.

  40. As an Amanda, i’m offended by this whole situation :/

  41. #30

    You’re right. There’s few toothless rednecks… Replace my words with: fat, diabetic, old retiree baby boomers that hold signs with racist comments and misspelled words.

  42. There are so many things wrong with #1 I don’t even know where to start…

  43. I’d start with the dirty hand .. like fuck.

  44. Comments, I don’t think the French ever envisioned croissants and “sausage” going together.

    My favourite croissant (if I was still able to eat them) is ham, cheese and tomato, and tomato is not even an option!

  45. This makes me ashamed to live in the South Eastern US, namely TN. However, to the comments grouping every single person in that area of the South as the same, I have to agree with ladyrisk. I too am offended. But sadly, I also see these sort of people every day. Thankfully not one of them. :D

  46. I agree, Emkitt, that combo is great. I’m sad for you. Damn that wheat intolerance.

    I love the French for so many of their creations – croissants, brie, and Yannick Noah, to name but a few. However, my stepmother does not rate, the annoying old frog.

  47. Oh, I love brie too. And I don’t mind a bit of Moet & Chandon when I’m not paying.

    It’s not that I don’t like sausage per se. Give me a nice chorizo or kielbasa any day (interpret that as you will), but what they are calling sausage is just not appealing to me at all.

  48. You love the same stuff as I do. Good champagne and chorizo sausage. Hell yes.

  49. You should try Cambonzola cheese.

  50. Ms. TN and Miss FL up there, I call it like I see it. I just heard “Damn Yankee :) As for the big cities, have you been to Atlanta lately? There are some parts of Atlanta I’m afraid to go to. The only thing stopping an all out race.political party war in Atlanta is fear of the law. Same goes for Chattanooga.

  51. This is more like it. Golden stuff.
    And wordpervert, your rendition of toothless ‘gumming’ of food has made my heart quicken with love.

  52. @Wordy and Em

    Us Americans are good at making the French cringe, especially when it comes to food. Personally, I think this is just Burger King saying fuck you to them really. Can’t say I’ve ever seen champagne and sausage paired together – in my experience, the champagne comes first and the sausage is later in the evening.

  53. Fuck Yeah! That reminds me of some of the receptions that I’ve been to!

  54. I submitted the first picture! Luckily there is a whole album of white trash awesomeness! I submitted 3 more of the pics today. Hopefully they make it too.

  55. Big deal. If they’d been exchanging pieces of a twinkie, it would be funny. As it is, it’s just two rednecks getting hitched.

  56. Jesus. His hand is dirty as hell.

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