Thursday, November 4, 2010

Picture Perfect Douches

previous post: Lil Wins

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46 Comments

  1. sigh.

  2. Uhm

  3. “But yet”? Great.

  4. i’m pretty sure those condoms will all expire before he even gets to use a single one of them. douche.

  5. The bare drywall and uncovered light switches clash with Kay’s “sophisticated” look.

  6. Miss Sassy is not particularly sophisticated in my book. Not with those clothes. Nor sassy really. Slutty or trashy is closer to the truth.

  7. is that ‘apples to apples’ on the shelf behind all those magnums? so, that’s how he gets all the ladies

  8. I’m glad someone else pointed out the shoddy renovations in the first one – it’s all I could notice.

    Also, “TheBerserkHobo”… did I miss something while I was away?

  9. I literally love when people make ones like the fist two. The last one is annoying, but I find the first two really really funny. Makes me wish I was Sassy but yet Sophisticated. I like that she managed to spell “sophisticated” properly (making her sophisticated)…and fucked the transitions…I think it’s what makes her sassy. Yup. All figured out.

  10. Regarding the second: being proud of your own greed is a bit tacky.

  11. The first one is harmless, although it seems to be a generation thing to take skanky photos like that of oneself, I’m surprised it wasn’t in the toilet! What is it with this generation that they want to appear trashy?

    As for the second clown with the dog tags, I’ll bet my military pension that the idiot never even served in the armed forces.

  12. Somebody tell that sassy that the correct way is “but yet though”… It’s even more sophisticated.

  13. @ #2: terrible typography.

  14. I know someone at my work who’s taken pics like the first one, but they aren’t slutty by any stretch of the imagination. Thankfully she’s just young and naive. Thus, she can still be saved, thank Fargis. Or is it thank god? Meh, they are both just fictional characters.

  15. just created an account so I could comment on this…

    @#11 Jim your dog tags comment – AWESOME!!

  16. “Always strive to get that money because there certainly isn’t anything else of worth in my life” is the full quote that wouldn’t fit on the magazine cover.

  17. “stay ready” but yet still knock up every white girl.

  18. GMC, so that’s where all his money is being burned!

  19. Does anyone have that bitch’s number? The black one?

  20. Brandy, I see no black bitch.
    As to the first one, slutty beats classy any day.
    Jim, I think you and old-school feminists should get together. Yes, slutty came into fashion recently. However, there are sound reasons for it, namely, people like seeing scantily clad members of the opposite sex, and enjoy having other people enjoy looking at them, and nobody gets hurt (unlike when your generation was hard up for entertainment and so got ‘real’ dog tags by killing asians). So ‘slutty’ is simply entertainment.

  21. *sighs* God damnit..

  22. mad2physicist, I say nothing to you…. NOTHING.

    Keona, I sigh also. *sigh*

    Brandy, are you talking about this post or about the girl standing outside your home?

    Pic 3, Is that guy trying to be a condom ninja? Hobo is the only successful condom ninja that this world has ever seen.

  23. sweet when sluts defend one another. I’m confused, though, about why the Vietnam war was brought up. why so serious…? just laugh at the lame, folks.

  24. Actually I’m not a slut. Or the male version of one since I am male. But by choice.
    The Vietnam war was brought up because Jim raised the issue of generational things and referred to the ‘younger generation,’ and said he has a military pension like it was a laudable thing that he chose to be a low-level minion of the capitalist pigs (and is now being paid to sit around from my tax dollars). However, I grant that this may not have been during Vietnam, I just didn’t feel like saying ‘killing asians or possibly arabs or possibly just sitting around on a base.’
    I do, however, support sluttiness, as long as it does not result in pregnancy. Its proliferation dominates in the younger generation because the younger generation still has nice bodies, but I hope that it is due to a fundamental shift from the patriarchal judeo-christian dominated ethics of the past, to a more individualistic future.

  25. in what kind of world is the first one considered slutty? lame and dumb, sure, but not slutty. come on guys.

  26. Those damn capitalist pigs mad2…out to get us again! Good thing mother soviet union and father man Stalin are still there to protect us good communists….oh wait… And damn those vietnam and Iraq-Afghanistan veterans…using up all our precious money to sit around base and kill arabs and asians…Don’t they know we need that money for slutty halloween costumes and magnum condoms in bulk?! To think they would waste all our money paying those assholes risking their lives to protect us. DAMN THEM!

  27. @mad2: so you don’t support those who serve their country to protect people’s freedom (whatever country you’re from – I myself am a proud Canadian), but you’ll support “sluts”? Seriously dude, priorities!

  28. I’m thinkin’ Mad2 doesn’t know much about the military. Why is it everyone thinks all they do is sit around waiting for a war so they can kill people? Sad :(

  29. @#8 “TheBerserkHobo” is a Family Guy reference.
    http://www.planet-familyguy.com/pfg/characters/300/BerserkHobo/

  30. I like how these are posted from Lamest to Least Lame, IMO.

    1) Probably some bimbo who should be on Jersey Shore.

    2) Uhh, just dumb. Went to HS with a bunch of guys like this.

    3) At least he uses condoms? And whether it has anything to do with mys tate of sobriety of not …/lack of……..Id do him. *shrugs* 1, He’s black – yum. 2, He USES protection, and large ones at that! 3, he looks kinda like a guy I had a crush on in high school.

  31. Shelley, you can’t even see his face. He could be butt ugly..

  32. #2 just reminds me of that song …. I wanna be a millionaire so freaking bad ….. which I now can’t get out of my freaking head!

  33. we need a GILLY pic

  34. Miss Sassy is sophisticated in the same way that a half dead trout wearing a bowler hat and cravat shoved up a nuns cunt is.

    T-Smooth wants to be rich. Rich T-Smooth…that takes the biscuit (you may need to be English to fully appreciate how shit this joke is)

  35. Not that shit …. made me laugh anyway. I’m easily amused though haha

  36. I’m trying to work out whether ‘but yet’ is some sort of double negative…

  37. Thank Fargis for people like Jim – without him, arseholes like madzphysicist wouldn’t be able to post their half-baked, ill informed nonsense on websites like this. And then where would we be?

  38. oh god, i hope there’s not one of those angry handicapped vietnam guys with a bandanna on his head… oh, there he is!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4122-OPpmM

    thank god for the us military, fighting to make the world a better place. without them, millions of yellow and brown civilians might still be alive. and who would want that?

    also, everyone who dares to criticize us foreign policy is a communist, that is a well known fact.

  39. may i take this opportunity to congratulate the venerated representatives of the older generation on their dignified use of the internet. it must be hard to type with your stubby amputated limbs, not to mention the heavy burden of failed military campaigns weighing down on your withered, dog-tag bearing necks. we all think you’re very brave. unfortunately, your simplistic binary worldviews and your generation’s unquestioning obedience don’t really cut it any more. but we’ll wheel you out once a year and keep up the pretence, just as long as you don’t shit yourself again.

    you were right about mad2physicist being batshit retarded, though. but that’s a story for another night, right grandad?

  40. I <4 comments 37 to 40.

    A good little read.

  41. Mad, Vincent, well done. That cracked me up, I can practically hear the steam coming out their ears. I hope more lectures are to come. I might just start shouting stuff as well! I’m going into the bathroom, what with all this shit slinging!

  42. @30
    are you serious? you actually believe that because he flashes magnum condums that’s actually his size? Are you telling me that this actually works on some girls and I could have been ‘accidentally’ dropping magnum condums out of my wallet for years?

    @42
    I agree with you, we’ve got those lamebook posters on the run now! another victory for la resistance! I am a little angry you didn’t include me in your praise, didn’t you catch my paragraph opposing capitalist pigs and those damn troops wasting our precious money that we need to consume things the capitalist pigs put on tv?

    @40
    I don’t think any of those people are here…but since you seem to desperately hate any vietnam soldier of that era, I will tell you this. It was a different time, atrocities were committed on both sides but you…some mere foot note bloq poster have no right to judge them. They faced incredible horrors and adversity and responded in kind, the U.S. knew very little about fighting guerilla warfare at the time and it was not the ground soldiers decision to bomb more people than killed in all of World war two. It’s one thing to be angry at the corrupt politicans of the time, but don’t talk shit about the soldiers who were tossed into the madness the politicans created.

  43. @polsvoice – Yeah, you’re probably right. Dunno wtf I was thinking when I wrote that last night. :/

    I usually agree with mad2 – most of the time I feel like he’s speaking exactly what I am thinking – but I’m afraid here I have to disagree.

    To Jim, OK you served in the military, I’m grateful to you, for one. But you used the lame dog tags comment JUST to announce that and as an excuse to take offense to it. People wear dog tags all the time…it’s sort of become a fashion statement, just like denim jeans and Timberland boots were once “practical, useful” in their original purposes they are now “fashionable”. I highly doubt he served in the military either namely because he would probably have a little more self-respect to create a graphic such as that if he had. What is wrong with people who DON’T serve wearing dog tags?

    Though I don’t agree with war, per se, as most wars could be avoided but are basically the pissing contests between governments and are used mostly with ulterior motive, even if I speak only for myself I do support our those who CHOOSE to serve. They do the dirty deeds for their government’s greed but they are courageous enough to put themselves forth so that others who don’t have to be drafted/forced to do it. I know _I_ personally wold never have the guts to do it, so I commend those who do. Whatever their own personal reasons for it, either they WANTED to do it or had no other choice (financially, etc) and stepped up. All I really hate about it is, again, that the government just uses them without barely a thank-you most times and just tosses them like they’re trash after they’re done with them. (The idea of our war veterans being HOMELESS because the government won’t help them after they risked their lives to do their dirty work? Fucking SICKENS me!)

    *Shrug* That’s just my opinion, though.

  44. @shelley

    I served in the Army for a eight years, and I agree with your comments on wearing dog tags. They look like actual dog tags, but who knows. I’ve seen machines where you can get dog tags like that made with several lines of information (of your choosing) in a manner similar to military issued dog tags.

  45. lol

  46. The typeface on the first, I actually find pretty sophisticated. It did make me laugh, but probably more at her, what with the grammar and situation.

    Mad props to mad physicist for mixing up post-feminism and socialism.

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