Monday, January 25, 2010

Photostop

previous post: Wins to Start the Week

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114 Comments

  1. hootie the blowfish

    Wow, what a loser. I mean, I think posting a photo like this would be enough for me to remove someone from my friends list. Certainly block them from my newsfeed.

  2. Haha! What a fuckin lametard.

  3. Aaaaah! He’s blasting us with his Pit Rays!

  4. Who draws a picture of themselves taking a photo of themselves?

  5. Wow, if he meant to make his bicep look like the fucking messiah… job done

  6. @Spanka
    It’s photoshop.. do you think a moron who would draw rays coming off of his biceps would be able to copy a picture over to paper so well?

  7. OMG. The Holy Grail is some douche bags armpit? I’ve been living my life all wrong.

  8. ho-mo you didnt!

  9. Super loser

  10. Turns out the sun doesn’t shine out of his arse after all.

  11. Ha, biceps but no triceps

  12. @Spanka
    lol *facepalm*

  13. Toolie McTool

  14. yep, he’s an assmunch

  15. One shouldn’t try to highlight biceps while displaying underdeveloped pectorals.

  16. In the fine words of Zach Galifianakis from the Hangover. He’s a retard.

  17. Ass.

  18. Why did he highlight his pits? I bet he had to photoshop the flies out…. the bastard…

  19. no buddy

  20. He managed to lift that phone all by himself AND press the button to take a picture? What a stud! My guess is that arm is only so muscular because it’s his presumably well exercised wanking hand.

  21. @Jenivere LOL!!!!…

  22. It seriously looks like he only has muscles in the one arm, the other is puny, the aformentioned lack of pcs, no six pack to speak of, and a shit beard. It looks like he has shaved under his arms also.

  23. I find it hilarious thinking of him taking the time to make this AWESOME pic.

  24. I hope he photoshopped that crappy tattoo in too, cause if not, that by it’s self is lamebook worthy. There is NOTHING worse then a bad tattoo.

  25. “the bastard” hahahahahaha

  26. You guys haven’t heard of this?

    It’s a big new phenomenon. A religion of worshipping pits. This guy is just a follower.

    …Nahhh. Who am I kidding, this is just some fitness newbie thinking he’s done something cool. Nope.

  27. He’s the holy ace of pits! He is a retard, not only with his photoshop skills, but seriously… is that an ace of spades Tattoo? wft?

  28. @SomeRandomChick, I was thinking the same thing, in regards to that horrible tattoo. I studied it for a while trying to figure out what the hell it is. No such luck. Any guesses?

    What kind of douche do you have to be to create something like this? Astounding. My only hope is that he has become aware of this site, and is now reading all the comments.

  29. Worse than the radiating pit is the fact he has photoshopped his muscles. You can tell because the door frame is wobbly where the grow/shift filter has been applied. In reality, the door frame is straight! The light switch is also distorted where he has enlarged his right (our left) arm.

  30. I like his matching chains <3

  31. Is it a Christmas tree?

  32. Why does his mouth look so puffy?

  33. @pugged
    That is the face you make when you want to look hard as fuck. Doesn’t he intimidate you?

  34. I think it’s an ace of spades?

  35. with a skull in it?

  36. Yep, because I’ve always fantasised about doing a guy who looks like a cartoon character. Bart Simpson move out of the way, I’ve found someone new, with shinier armpits.

  37. does he think girls like this?

  38. SeeBea…unfortunately I know women who DO like this…ew.

  39. insert clever name here

    anonymouse (comment 5) FTW!

  40. I wonder if he has a pool…

  41. Ugh, why are people too dumb to turn the fucking camera around and take a normal looking picture? You’re in front of a mirror. Hold the camera phone in front of you, line up the shot by looking at the reflection in the mirror, and when it’s where you want it, smile (or comb out your Mennonite beard and thrust out that pouty lower lip while puffing up your flabby, pockmarked gopher cheeks like our man here) and take the goddamn picture! So at least then people will think you have friends and don’t spend your evenings fanning your pits, admiring your shit tattoo, and editing your pics for muscle tone in a vain attempt to try and hide the fact that you have the build of a 9 year old girl.

  42. His armpit produces the light..that’s kinda awesome..I’m gonna give him an award as The Greatest Douche on Earth…

  43. I think I’m in love

  44. @slowmo (#28)- I immediately saw that terrible tattoo, and I see an ace of spades, but the spade symbol in the middle is some sort of devil/demon face. I think it’s kind of like a magic eye…

    Anyway, I can’t handle this photo! And what exactly does that caption even mean?

  45. The ace with a skull is a band logo for Alexisonfire. Cool band, lame tattoo.

  46. That band has 4 albums and has been around less than a decade…is that REALLY tattoo worthy?

  47. @squid, 2nd that. lol, nine year old girl. Or you could set the camera on something, look to see where it’s pointed, set the timer, go stand there and pose. When you have nothing better to do than take pictures of your self, you could do a few and pick the best one. Nice pic, no retart*edness. Unless you lack the understanding of what is cool, then, “Yes, buddy” happens.

  48. It doesn’t even match his other arm.. geeze if you’re gonna do one at least make it even!

  49. Why didn’t he photoshop himself in a penis?

  50. Flippin’ good job.
    Not
    IMHO, just the act of taking a picure like this for the web is “lame” – when it is this obviously photoshopped, it simply defies comprehension.

  51. @49 MelissaE – It would have been redundant to PS in a penis…this guy is noting but.

  52. I don’t care what you guys say that grumpy mushroom card on his chest is SEX-AY.. ow OWWW!!!

  53. geez, you should have to have a license to own a camera.

  54. I like how his arm pit is shooting out sun beams! Glorious!

  55. This guy has soo much ego that it’s bursting out of him!

  56. Are they stench lines radiating from his armpit?

  57. His pits are so awesome that the awesomeness is causing a rip in the space-time continuum. Which explains the wobbly door lines.

  58. OK is it just me or does anyone else see someone resembling the late pope on top of the skull? It’s kind of creeping me out right now…

  59. yes i did notice the pope weirddd

  60. @bamelook

    OMG HAHA

  61. Well I swooned

  62. Nice tattoo, fuck head.

  63. Nice pecs, dude.

    He obviously only has that one bicep from jerking off his bros after a long night out of drinking and getting rejected by females.

  64. Yer Mom Goes to College

    I can’t believe no one’s mentioned his “yea buddy” statement. What a fagstick.

  65. “yea buddy” is a term only used by the biggest of tools.

  66. Yeh, this definitely checks all the uber-chump boxes in my books…

    Photos taken in front of a mirror really aren’t that cool, and it’s not clever…

    this is some of the poxiest photoshopping I have ever had the displeasure of being privy to… he used the liquify tool particularly badly, bulging around the infamous bicep area could’ve been prevented on the doorframe if he wasn’t so chromosomally deformed… but alas… I can’t figure out why the light switch bulges in… and as for the rays of darkness, are they to distract from the fact that this guy has done a really bad job of convincing us that he has muscles and his parents aren’t guilty of incestuous relations…?

    His tatt sucks and his faced looks like an atavistic train wreck… I really want to believe this fuck head is from a different species to me…

  67. perfectly lamebook™

  68. Jpizzle I had to scroll back up and look, but yes Pope John Paul II is definitely peering out of that awful tattoo. Now the rays from the pit of holiness are explained!

  69. Only truly, truly awesome guys hold a $99 camera like that. Yea buddy.

  70. What’s with the light shining from his armpit?

  71. it’s the bicep of christ, look how heavenly it is, emanating those godly lumens.

  72. If we look at this photograph from a purely technical point of view it is fundamentally boring. Do not even get me started on his lacklustre use of Photoshop… I’m pretty sure Adobe (yes, the entire company) would cringe.

  73. No, don´t you all get it? His holiness has extended to warping objects around him….. but we´re not sure if it´s from the smell or the dazzling armpit light.

  74. bababooeybababooey

    Nice douchebag beard, buddy

  75. You can’t get more douchey than this. At least you win at something, buddy…

  76. I’m most impressed by the Holy chav bracelet, I didn’t know they sold religious aretefacts in Argos

  77. @nicky nic
    I doubt it’s as classy as Argos, I’d say market stall at best.

  78. @ jools, you could be right :)

    And I meant artefacts, of course, lol

  79. 77, 78 – I think it’s out of a cracker. The more I look at this picture the more I think this guy is such a twat

  80. This fuck-tard clearly has been concentrating on his glamour muscles, he has no core.

  81. kinda shocked nobody mentioned his overly manly chest hair.

  82. I would love him to come on here to comment and (try to) defend his honor, douche!

  83. @ cuervo, there´s just too much to be shocked at with the photo alone….

  84. Is it just me, or does the line on his hip make it look like hes wearing a skimpy man-thong??

  85. @TollTroll “glamour muscles” is an awesome phrase. Never heard them described that way; well played.

  86. that’s Frodo’s hairstyle

  87. @cuervo – That’s chest hair? I was torn between melanoma and contrast-enhanced acne.

  88. LOL @ #3 Spicy Boughner

  89. @uRaRetard – you’re right I hadn’t even noticed the doorframe and the lightswitch thing until you mentioned it! lol! awww it’s kind of sad to see such a huge loser

  90. @uRaRetard – ditto, bravo, you have laid the issue to rest – Chris is a fucking tool.

    He could however have been performing a try before you buy, seeing if he suits one pop-eye arm before committing to whey shakes and dumbbell (singular).

    He looks like an amish kid who has trimmed his beard, probably the Danny Zuko of Old Order

  91. I am pretty sure this is the guy who invented Lame.

  92. lol tee hee heee heee. This is just so wrong, on so many levels. Dude can photoshop a heavenly blast of light eminating from his bicep all he wants, he is the only one worshipping it. And trust, he is worshipping his guns enough for ALLLL of us. *snicker* snort*

  93. Kdconnection, if any of what you’ve said is true… you belong on Lamebook more than this kid. Yes, he seems like a total ass, but there’s no reason to give out his name.

    BTW, anyone that uses “retard” as an insult just shows off their own lack of intelligence.

  94. I think both his neckbeard and chest tattoo say, “Upright young man.”

  95. The photoshop job makes his “muscles” look more like boobs.

    Gotta love that bracelet/necklace combo, though. : D

  96. His glorious pits have left me god smacked.

  97. Alijacket,

    Your logic is flawed… People’s names along with pictures are made public all the time… Celebrities, criminals, even people that are arrested as a “suspect” and there is no proof of any wrongdoing… and almost no one finds a problem with this. Why do you feel this is a problem? what is so special about this circumstance?

  98. He looks like Abe Lincoln’s meth-head grandson.

  99. I am starting legislation that requires a breathalyzer to be connected to all internet “upload photo” buttons. Please support the cause.

  100. I don’t think so… This might almost be forgivable if he had been in a five day drunken stupour and woke up with no memory of taking a picture of himself, photoshopping in musculature and light rays and uploading it onto Facebook.

    Much better would be legislation that prevented douchebag uploads.

    Are you a douchebag? Y/N.
    If Y, delete photo, slap self.

  101. computerscientist88

    @kdconnection

    It’s all in good fun to laugh at the picture, but posting his name is unnecessarily harsh. The point of this site is to laugh at anonymously submitted photos of anonymous people. That’s the reason they blur out their face and name, you retard. The difference between this site and the media is people are featured on this site for the purpose of humor as opposed to being ‘news’. In short: fuck off and die.

  102. @ben the problem with douches is that they are blissfully unaware of their own douchosity and therefore would never answer your suggested prompts correctly. Legislation:FAIL but it was a nice thought for a moment. I am going to spend just a moment pondering what a boring day I would be having if we lived in a doucheless universe.

  103. @kdconnection: I am not going to call you names or curse you out because I understand your excitement at seeing this kid here and finding out many people agree with your assesment of him, it is still bad form to name him.

  104. Reply all: I do realize it was the wrong thing to do… I had a lapse in judgement and yes, Yaya… I did get excited but you’re right, it’s still no excuse for it.
    If I could have edited that post I would have, but the site won’t let me. it’s there for good.

    Sorry all

    (and yes, I do realize that by posting this comment I will receive more replies insulting me, I’m not an idiot… I just had a lapse of judgement and got overexcited and I totally deserve all the insults that are forthcoming)

  105. wow, i actually have this guy on my facebook.
    i think it’s rather sad seeing him on here, he’s a nice guy,i hope he never sees these comments.

  106. actually i have known him since grade 2, no one has ever been nice to him…shame really.

  107. so did the one who submitted this unfriend Chris right away?

  108. I think this is shopped, I can tell by some of the pixels and having seen many shops before.

  109. @corbrootal

    Well no duh. Of course it’s photoshoped.

  110. The best thing about this is that I can see him snapping the pic, sitting down at his computer and photoshopping it, the whole while thinking to himself, “Oh man, this is gonna be
    SAH-WEET! I bet a really hot chic is gonna see this and just instantly fall for me and my sweet, sweet bod.”

  111. @ CECEK : lmao…so true.

  112. @corbrootal
    LOL seriously? you THINK it’s photoshopped?

  113. @all the people who raged at kdconnection for mentioning photostops’ first name.

    Are you all blind or are you just genuinely imbeciles?Yes they blur the last name to preserve anonymity, but his first name is up in the top left corner above the photo, for fucks sake. How has she revealed some big secret if it’s written right there for all to see? Kdconnection apologised for a suspected wrongdoing, perhaps it’s time for you to do the same?

  114. John Players Standard

    Hey guys this might be a photo shop. Just saying it looks like some pixels have been altered.

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