Wednesday, February 17, 2010


previous post: A Toy Story



  1. Jenn = brilliant

  2. Gma’s trying to escape life as her so called “loved ones” are sadistic motherfuckers…

  3. Whoa, I bet Cullen feels like shit, as he should.

  4. OMG! that’s awful.

  5. “LOL She can’t stand” – it IS hilarious to watch elderly relatives struggle with the simplest of every day tasks.

    Drunk pregnant women seem to be all over Facebook. I might start a group for them… “jsT bCuZ iM pReGGo dONt mEEn i CnT geT pIssEd”

    Rant over.

  6. @ gingivitis 5:
    Hey, we should make a fanpage and invite everyone who joins your group. We can have them be fans of “Drunken blindfolded belly-punching fights.”

  7. hehe mcowles , are you going soft on us ?

    Cullen has a good point, even if that is his aunt. Heard a song the other day called underwear goes inside the pants.

    One paragraph stuck by me : Do you know what the number one health risk in America is? Obesity.
    They say we’re in the middle of an obesity epidemic.
    An epidemic like it is polio. Like we’ll be telling our grand kids about it one day.
    The Great Obesity Epidemic of 2004.
    “How’d you get through it grandpa?”
    “Oh, it was horrible Johnny, there was cheesecake and pork chops everywhere.”

  8. Victoria’s aunt is a whole heap of women. Chicken wings and all…
    Jenn’s photo of Gma is spooky as all fuck, perilously close to an octogenarian up skirt shot.

  9. The first picture makes my blood boil. I’d love to slap Jenn. And I doubt she had Gina’s permission to post that picture. Jenn is missing something in her head and in her heart.

  10. goddammit alpro , you made me look :-)

  11. Father Sha thanks for the laugh. I really needed it.

  12. The other day I was out car shopping and I saw an awesome red jaguar sitting in the same lot as a blue plymouth barracuda. I was confused at the correlation but I ended up getting a shiny Dodge Neon instead. I know, I know… horrible choice, but I transport animals for a pet shop that I work at and I’d rather not have any incidents. I’d hate to take a corner at 60 mph and look in the back to see a green monkey vomitting all over my seats. My Neon can take corners like a pro, though… in fact, I call it my “silver snake”, because it’s so good at handling the road…. and because it’s silver.

    In fact, just last week I had a purple parrot escape and tore a hole in the dash board. I would’ve been SUPER pissed, if it had been a jaguar.

    BTW, did you know that Iguanas can’t change into orange for some reason? It’s the only color they can’t mimic properly… so you’ll never see an orange iguana…

    Well, I’ve rambled about nonsense long enough. If you actually read this entire post, then you’ve got more GUTS than most. In fact, What Would You Do if I Double Dared you to read it again? Now you might not know what I’m doing here, but Think Fast and let me know if you get a Brainsurge and are able to Figure It Out. I’m sure if you try, you’ll be able to Get The Picture. I’ve now challenged you and your only response should be “You’re On! I’ll definitely Make The Grade!”. You always talk like that, you Wild and Crazy Kids!

  13. Blerk, heave cough, not even…….

  14. Nice mcowles, Nickelodeon flashback!

  15. Father Sha, don’t pretend you weren’t already looking… But I vaguely remember that song, who sang it again…?
    Teeda, who is Gina? If you mean Gma, I’d be guessing if she can’t get a decent leg spread on or get out of bed then facebook just isn’t a high priority for her. Disowning fuckhead grandkids and screwing them out of their inheritance however…

  16. I meant Gma..ooops.

  17. I always knew mcowles was big ole kid.

  18. Hey, btw, ya’ll be on the lookout for my evil twine. I hear there are twines about.

  19. I hope you are right about her “disowning fuckhead grandkids” too.

  20. Yes, yaya, evil twines scare me. They coil around you and…and…it’s horrible………….

  21. mcowles: dunno if you were serious about iguanas turning color or not… but iguanas do turn the color orange during breeding season, and there is a mutation strand of orange iguanas…..
    on the other hand i think you were thinking about chameleons.. because iguanas don’t normally change color out of breeding season…though chameleons can turn an orangery color, or have orange highlights surrounding other colors.. but i cant be certain if i ever saw one fully orange.. hmmm

  22. Teeda, I hope I’m right about her not being able to get a decent leg spread on mainly.

    Cullen should’ve gone with it, forgive the ignorance but what does “barreling the camera” mean?

  23. @yaya



    I miss GUTS, DD and LotHT the most… the rest kinda sucked.


    haha @ octogenarian upskirt!

    @father sha

    I’m a big softie, I’m sure you’ve noticed that!

  24. Samantha, I’m happy you want to get drunk while you’re pregnant, good luck with the baby!

    On a whole different note, these prego pictures are weird. I care not about the contents on your counter, or the soap scum in your sink.

  25. @myfaceyourface

    That’s interesting. I don’t actually know anything about chameleons/iguanas. I was just referencing the 6 team names of Legends of the Hidden Temple (Green Monkeys, Red Jaguars, Silver Snakes, Blue Barracudas, Purple Parrots, and Orange Iguanas).

    I didn’t realize until after I posted, that I was thinking of chameleons, when I described the color changing thing, haha.

    That’s weird that iguanas turn orange during mating season, and that was a team name on a children’s game show. I bet someone did it on purpose, thinking “no one will know that these kids are on the Horny Reptiles team! Mwahahahaha!”

  26. @mcowles: All good, but what about the non-game shows? ie: Salute your shorts!

  27. I feel bad for the girl sitting next to the manatee in the last picture…you just know she isn’t getting any use out of that armrest.

  28. @eenerbl

    Salute your shorts was one of my favorites growing up!

    *quietly chants* Awful Waffle, Awful Waffle */quietly chants*

    Nowadays they show nothing but cartoons. The censorship people would simply say “You Can’t Do That on Television!”, if they tried to have another show like Salute Your Shorts. Meh… this isn’t working, so I’ll just say that I also enjoyed Hey Dude and Are You Afraid of the Dark? haha.

  29. I don’t know (splash), I assumed that was Kevin Smith in the last picture.

  30. I think Ana has an Indiana Jones fetish. Aside from that I have the square root of fuck all of an idea about what she is talking about. She sounds freaky, but the traditional roses and chocolate route seems so much easier than gargoyles, spiders lairs and pits of despair.

  31. “OMG, it was the FUNNIEST THING! Gramma was trying to get through her daily tasks and not rely on others to help her when she fell and BROKE her HIP!! AHAHAHA!! OMG, LOL, then, she couldn’t reach the phone? and like, she almost died? WOOOOO, I can’t stop LAUGHING!!”

  32. Jenn needs donkey punched and samantha is a cun+ puncher

  33. I always wanted to be on hidden temple. My favorite team was the silver snakes.

  34. alproshazam

    The song is by Lazy Boy and the spoken rant in it is the comedian Greg Giraldo. Funny stuff.

  35. @ eenerbl #24

    While I agree with you about Samantha and the soap scum, I do have to say that I’m really thankful the toilet’s flushed. :D

  36. I have no jokes for the infirm, it’s just not on.
    Two morbidly obese people that require a vacant seat between them so there’s enough room to breathe, now that’s another story.

  37. I am reminded of one of my favorite lines from a movie I rented recently.

    “Best thing about Zombieland – no more stupid facebook updates.”

  38. I might just be wantin’ a bagel with my coffee.

  39. How nice of her huh Cherry Cola! haha

    @mcowles, I agree. I forced to spend most weeknights and weekends with the TV either glued to Nickelodeon or Disney, (my son is 3 and LOVES it) I’m sick of those shows! I found myself singing the theme song to the one the other day while washing dishes. It was a sad, sad day and I still get shit from the man of the house!

  40. @yaya, mine too! One of the best lines by far!

  41. I don’t even give a shit if you drink while pregnant, that said, I doubt Samantha is.

  42. Nice to see more responsible parents like Samantha in the world

  43. @eenerbl

    I like watching cartoons with my son… When I get home from work and need to relax I will watch either spongebob, chowder or johnny test with him… Either that or he has friends over and I get attacked when I get home… Anyways unless there is a football or college basketball game that I want to watch then I let the wife and kids have the TV… So its usually on cartoon network, nick, food or those E shows

  44. i love jenn’s, even if she meant it to be mean it’s still hilarious…lol! and i have to wonder if victoria is trying to be funny or not…if she’s serious then cullen definitely has to come back with a ftw kind of comment, because the rest of us were all thinking the same! can’t look at that pic without the fat lady taking over it :)

  45. @slimjayz: spngebob = good, Hannah Montana = bad!

  46. I am filled with a strange combination of mirth (@mcowles, do you remember Turkey TV?), as a result of these comments, and rage from the pic of poor Gma and that bitch Jenn’s f#@ked up little caption.

    Given the opportunity I would punch Jenn so hard that she would be trapped in a horrible hospital bed, unable to stand. Awww, look… She’s trying to escape my anger, but can’t lol

    What a little twat. Man, I rarely get all serious on the internets, but that hit a nerve… Now, back to your regularly scheduled snark.

  47. What about I-carly? haha! My son has the same taste in cartoons as I do… His favorite though is Tom and Jerry

  48. Miss Shegas, do you want me to help you punch Jenn? Or should I just take the pictures to post to her album?

  49. @Miss Shegas

    No, sorry… Turkey TV is not ringing any bells :( .

  50. @mcowles:
    That LotHT story just made my freakin week! I tip my hat to you, and now I am off to netflix to relive my childhood through whichever of these series they have available!
    (I’m keepin my fingers crossed for Hey Dude)

  51. @dawnstar

    Hey Dude and Salute Your Shorts were probably tied for my favorite.

    I still smile when I think of man-eating cacti and

    Chorus of Kids: “Camp Aniwana, we hold you in our hearts! And when we think about you, it makes me wanna fart”
    Counselor Kevin “Ug” Lee: “It’s ‘I hope we never part’ – Now get it right or pay the price!”

    Damn, I’m gonna have to get some torrents going tonight. I mean…. legally obtain some nostalgic television.

  52. @teeda – Dealers choice!:D

    @mcowles – No one else has ever heard of it either – apparently the show was only beamed directly into my young brain and no where else. Turkey TV was basically sketch comedy for kids. A little more mature than You Can’t Do That On Television (which I also loved!), but not at the SNL levels (most of the time).

    Thus began my love of sketch comedy and obsession with Canadian sit-coms (Corner Gas, anyone?).

  53. * nowhere

  54. @Miss Shegas

    Whose Line Is it Anyway?

    Colin Mochrie and Ryan Stiles?

    Kids in the Hall?

    I used to come home quickly from high school to catch back to back episodes of those two. Fun times. Although, in hindsight, I wish I had been getting laid, instead. :(

  55. My only problem with Samantha’s post (other than she’s pregnant and she’s a fan of getting drunk) is that she took the pictures in the bathroom with the toilet lid up. Put the lid down, people. It’s common sense. It doesn’t matter if there’s nothing in the toilet, it’s in bad taste to leave the lid/seat up when taking bathroom pictures. Urgh!

    [end rant]

  56. @ mcowles YES! :D
    Even with so much available for download, I STILL get super excited when I find Kids in the Hall on tv! And Whose Line was always great with Ryan and Colin.

  57. @mcowles:

    Kids in the Hall!! Just bought the second season…consistently hilarious and satisfying.
    It’s official. You have impeccable taste – you and all of these other commenters that have brought up literally every single one of my favorite shows as a youngster.
    (Well, except for Gargoyles and Batman: The Animated Series…but cartoons like that take it a whole other direction, so I’ll let that slide);)


    I’m pretty sure it’s just in bad taste to take a picture in a bathroom, regardless of whether the lid was up or down. But that may just be my own crazy opinion!

  58. @dawnstar True.

    I’ll admit, I’ve taken a pic of myself in the bathroom before, but you see the door or the towel rack in the background, not the nasty ass toilet. Maybe the way my bathroom is built, but I still think it’s gross when people take bathroom pics of themselves with the toilet in the background.

  59. @dawnstar

    wow… gargoyles… Are you female and single? Screw it, neither one matters, I must have you!

    Batman: The Animated Series was good as well. Cowboys of Moo Mesa and of course X-Men and TMNT and Animaniacs and Tiny Toons.

    Sigh, where is my time machine?

  60. @mcowles:

    ‘neither one matters’…you ladykiller, you!

    Yes, Gargoyles… Awesome, right? At the VERY least, I think we may need to be best friends!

    And if you’re going back, take me with you! I mean, come on…X-Men and Animaniacs? And I think I still have a vhs somewhere of when I taped Tiny Toons’ ‘How I Spent My Summer Vacation’ movie.

    …le sigh. Good Times.

  61. The gma pic pisses me off. As someone who saw his grandma fall in front of him the day before she fell & broke her hip (that set off her dementia & eventual death) shit like that isn’t funny.

    The “Legends of the Hidden Temple” one cracks me up though.

  62. I’m sorry, who names their kid Cullen?

  63. Sick, there’s a spew bag about to be used right next to Grandma.

    Ugh, die Samantha, clevage, pregnant belly AND a toilet in the same shot.’fuuck it… I’m a retard’

    Cullen’s an asshole, but still made me lol.

  64. I love you Mccowles, for post #12. I miss Nickelodeon shows back in the day.

  65. ‘Longing sigh for Animaniacs’ I secretly wanted to be Dot when I was younger. Still kinda do.

  66. First picture: fucking awful.

  67. Now I know I’m fucking old, yall are talkin xmen and animaniacs and I’m thinkin bout transformers and thundercats…. And kids in the hall was the shit, brain candy still makes me laugh my balls off to this day

  68. And also, why is that pregnant bitch even in the bathroom? U don’t need a mirror to take a picture of your stomach and tits

  69. Poor old lady, that’s not nice :(

  70. @chingaso

    Old? We should go watch some Woody Woodpecker and Tennessee Tuxedo.

  71. Oh vagine

  72. So it’s really from that horrible gameshow.. I watched it just once, and regretted.

    But I’m okay with Woody, but not with Thundercats, Animaniacs alright! But the best shows on TV during my childhood were Oggy and the Cockroaches, The Wacky World of Tax Avery (I think most of the episodes are redundant to one another, but it made my mornings!), and Crayon Shin-chan.

  73. @eyeslikesugar

    I’m glad you could find true love in such a topsy turvy world


    Best friends sounds good to me. Wanna go play laser tag this weekend?

    Did anyone watch some nostalgic television last night? I was super busy so I didn’t get a chance to do more than youtube the theme song for Cowboys of Moo Mesa, haha. This weekend’s goal: Watch at least 2 episodes of Gargoyles, 1 episode of Hey Dude, and 5-10 episodes of Animaniacs/Tiny Toons/X-Men and maybe some Kids in the Hall.

    It’s gonna be a busy weekend… and a super lazy one, it seems.

  74. @mcowles:

    Laser tag, you say? I do believe my answer is a hearty ‘hells yeah!’ …You truly know the way to a lady’s heart. Let’s Get Dangerous.

  75. insert clever name here

    Wait… what? Iguanas change colors?

  76. I wish you’d said that on Facebook, ‘insert clever name here’, so I could post it to this website.

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