Thursday, April 15, 2010

PhoDOHs! – “WTF?!” Edition (NSFW)

previous post: Twilight Saga: It Just Won’t Die

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208 Comments

  1. BEN!!!

  2. FIRST!

  3. DARN. NOW I LOOK SILLY

  4. that last one makes me want to vomit.

  5. whiskey tango foxtrot is right. what are these people thinking?

  6. Pregnant women are smug.

    And women that crap their pants and have runny little trickles of shit running down their legs are clueless.

  7. eww my god, those are horrible :( except the first one’s kind of funny the rest are just gross

  8. Holy fuck! :|
    I shoulda listened to the NSFW…

    This is the first NSFW Lamebook’s had in a looong time, isn’t it?

    For good fucking reason, it appears…

  9. Mother. Of. God.

  10. CommentsAtLarge

    Holy crap. That last one made me toss my fetus-cookies.

  11. Kat, I’ve got news for you: saying “first” always looks silly, even when you are actually the first to leave a comment.

    Now. What is “THE Burg”?

  12. i think YOU guys are weird for NOT liking 2 second old mucus covered babies and big boned chicks with shitty pants.
    Burg out.

  13. These are what real comedy is made of. It’s not funny unless it makes people “wtf!”.

  14. Oh my … nice triceps there lady in pink and also there is drippy shit running down your left leg.

    Fawk

  15. Wow, I am stunned, amazed, and yet somehow I find a small part of me laughing hysterically at “My little squeaker”, that costume is awesome. The last one made me puke in my mouth a little, new born babies don’t bother me, and do you eat the fetus feet first? (try saying that last one ten times fast)

  16. This actually didn’t gross me out that much, and I thought I was the most squeamish person in the world. I think LB desensitized me. Congratulations LB, congratulations.

  17. seriously people?!

  18. Ahh, come on! I so did not want to see that. How the hell is that lady just walking around so calmly? Doesn’t she know she shit her shorts?

  19. I now hope someone gives me a fetus cookie so I can chew it up, then spit it out while screaming, “This isn’t a fetus cookie; it’s an abortion!”.

    I am now going to hell.

  20. nobodycaresbutyou

    How can the last lady not be running for a bathroom? OMG!!!

  21. Miss Shegas is funny.

  22. The first and second photos weren’t such a big deal, but number three was incredibly disturbing, and number four (number two?) was just…. Oh. My. Gawd.

  23. I am thinking, and this is just a guess, but the last lady has her period and was sitting down, hence the spread to the back and that is blood not feces running down her legs.

  24. Can someone explain the Ben meme?

  25. nobodycaresbutyou

    The Halloween costume is really gross. Fetus cookies are wrong on so many levels I want to throw up.

  26. chickens dont clap

    Why is everyone so sure she’s shit herself? It looks at least as likely to be period blood to me.

    Ugh I just went back for another look to support my argument and I regret it. I don’t care what it is, it’s pretty nasty.

  27. poornonamedslob

    Fetal Bites!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVeCXKycKxs

  28. Christina.Willemina

    What’s so wrong with the 2nd one?? It’s a woman who’s just given birth, holding her new baby. Nothing WTF about it. I have a photo like this with my son the moment he was born. The nurse is cleaning out the baby’s mouth, and the baby isn’t covered in “mucus”. Lamebook, you suck donkey balls for adding that picture.

  29. Christina.Willemina

    And that last one sure looks like shit to me.

  30. krasivaya_devushka

    OMG this is f*cking disgusting!!!!!

  31. The baby is covered in vernix.

    Mrs. Shit Pants is a nasty heifer.

    @Agent Cooper:Ben is Frodo and does not have a pool.

  32. Last time I checked, periods weren’t mustardy-brown.

  33. The cookies are awesome, the halloween costume is awesome, but the last one? Oh my god. chickens dont clap, I think you’re right. Upon closer inspection, it does look a lot more like period blood, which would better explain the fact that she hasn’t noticed. Someone of that size is probably used to having a fair amount of wetness down there (ok, it sounds gross I know, but the reality is a lot of heat is generated between the thighs and sweat happens), although if it’s DRIPPING DOWN HER LEG oh god. I feel awful for her. That’s so embarassing.

    @agent cooper stfu and go look at back pages.

  34. Period blood is not yellow-brown. It is red or reddish brown. That is diarreah baby shit looking nasty.

  35. I love that costume.

    I was with the people thinking that the last chick started her period and didn’t realize it, but then I squinted when I saw all of the comments about shit, and I’m just not sure anymore. If it is shit, it’s orange. I’m going to assume that she takes Alli.

  36. @kelly it looks mustardy-brown on her leg because it’s thin and we’re looking at it from a distance. As a girl, shouldn’t you KNOW sometimes the blood is brownish? Or am I just crazy? To be a little tmi here, there’s a lot of crap that your uterus has to shit out monthly. It’s not all a beautiful bright red like regular blood. That’s why it smells.

  37. EATING COOKIES IS MURDER!!!!

    I’m Pro-Cookie And I Vote

  38. Phantom_poetess

    I registered just to comment on the last pic and by the time I got back here, someone else had beat me to it. Bummer. But I have enjoyed reading everyone’s comments on these for the last couple of months. I think the comments alone make opening the links worth it.

    I always thought Frodo was kinda cute. Too short. But cute. :)

  39. Christina.Willemina

    “there’s a lot of crap that your uterus has to shit out monthly” – You’re not a female are you? I could explain the process to you, but that would definitely be a WTF NSFW conversation.

  40. Hmm, I wonder where the Burg is, because I’m pretty sure I saw that woman in Fitzroy on Monday.

  41. EW EW EW EW EW EW EW

    That last one is disgusting.

    Actually they all are. I hate babies.

  42. Regarding picture number four, I feel fairly certain that what is running down her legs is not blood, and given her obesity, it seems likely to be the promised “anal leakage” side effect from a weight loss product… Though I’ve never experienced it myself, the word “leakage” suggests that it’s something one wouldn’t exactly notice as it was happening.
    Though I certainly would have realized it as it was seeping down my leg.

  43. @ Christina.Willemina

    You might think that the picture of your baby in all it’s vernix-covered glory is beautiful, but not everyone on facebook feels the same way. It’s definitely a lamebook worthy photo because people want to see cute picturees of your newborn baby, not vernix or pictures of peoples’ placentas (as I’ve seen on other peoples’ albums- ew!).

  44. *its

  45. @ mal

    Yes!! I think it’s called Alli. I had heard rumors about that side effect so I looked for the product at Target and the instructions literally tell you to wear dark colored pants for the first month you take it because of all the anal leakage :/

  46. Things this post looks to prevent:

    1.) Taking weight-loss supplements.
    2.) Having babies.
    3.) Making cookies.

  47. I take Alli…I do not have that. I eat non fatty foods, it can be avoided. If you take Alli and eat McDonald’s, then, you get anal leakage of orangey oil and loose stools.

  48. since the first pics were all about babies, i thought the lady in the last one was pregnant and her water broke until i really looked at the picture and then i went to vomit. gross. just gross.

  49. Whether it’s blood or feces, it’s *still* nasty. How can you NOT feel that????

    @skeleton…. Oh. That’s lovely. Whatever happened to good ol’ diet and exercise?? (I know, I know, it doesn’t work for everyone, but anal leakage????? *shudder*)

  50. That first is taking the statement ‘I love children, but couldn’t eat a whole one’ to an all new level!

  51. TheGreeneyedFury

    I call Photoshop on that last pic

  52. Anal leekage for supper this evening. Yum.

  53. Leslie is right. The reason Alli causes “anal leakage” is that it stops your body from absorbing fat, so I’m sure you can guess what the leakage consists of. If you eat a low fat diet (which you really should be doing anyway if you want to lose weight) then you won’t get it.

    I’ve never taken it myself. I just rely on my chronic health problems to keep me thin. I really hate it when people tell me I’m lucky to be so thin.

  54. Christina.Willemina

    skeleton_key – That’s why my profile is private, and only my 150 (or so) actual friends and family can see it. It takes a mature person to respect the birthing process.

  55. here are the moments i wish i could projectile vomit over all these people…

  56. Christina.Willemina is right. It’s a beautiful, natural event. Why not put it on display? I take pictures of every one of my poops and load them to Facebook. My friends get all upset, but I just tell them they’re not mature enough to appreciate the excretory process.

  57. You should take a photo everyday Soup, you could make some beautiful art with that shit! (pun intended) Maybe hang it in a gallery? Make a profit. This could open up a world of possibilities for you. Go get em’!

  58. I’m with #51.

  59. @ Soup

    hahahah THANK YOU.

    @ Christina.Willemina

    I sincerely doubt your “150 family and friends” appreciated those pictures. Get real you twat.

  60. Hey here’s a challenge. Try this. Go eat a really big dinner, and then try to look at the last pic without gagging or vomiting everything you just ate.
    I lost

  61. Christina.Willemina

    Soup, if you’re trying to compare childbirth to having explosive diarrhea, I think you need to do a little more research.

  62. Last!

  63. I wonder if that backpack is actually tiny, or if it is just dwarfed in comparison..

  64. Christina.Willemina

    skeleton_key, I’m sure in the real world you’d never have the balls to go around calling anybody a ‘twat’, but you feel real tough behind your keyboard. Look in the mirror before you start making judgments, shithead. Oops, I made a slight judgment there myself, I apologize.

  65. @eenerbl

    I do! I’ve merged them into a timelapse photo stream so I can chart the evolution of my poo. It’s mesmerizing.

    @Christina.Willemina

    I guess it all comes down to perspective. One biological result should be flushed down the toilet, the other comes out of my ass. I love everyone of my little butt babies.

  66. Maybe she sat in soup.

  67. Christina.Willemina

    Soup, I fold. I can’t argue with ignorance.

  68. @ Christina.Willemina

    You’re right, I wouldn’t have the balls…being a girl and all. And, no, I don’t feel tough behind my keyboard because I’m not challenging you to a fistfight. I’m simply pointing out that you’re a twat for thinking all your friends enjoy your gross vernix baby pictures. Because they don’t. I promise you.

    p.s. Your attempt at sarcasm was pathetic at best :)

  69. Chinchillazilla

    Okay, period blood is not always red. But it is never yellow. If your periods look like that, call your doctor.

    Lady shit herself.

  70. I could have posted pictures publicly of my newborn baby being pulled out of the gaping gash in my abdomen, because it is just so damned beautiful, but I’m realistic enough to understand that would make my friends puke fetal cookies, and possibly even unknowingly shit themselves.

  71. Christina.Willemina

    Again, I fold. I can’t argue with someone so ignorant and self-absorbed. Go ahead and pretend like you won, the stupid little smiley face probably made you feel really powerful. I was stating my opinion, I told Lamebook they suck, as they do for thinking there is anything lame about birth. I’ve said my peace.

  72. “Oh lawds! Theys opinion don’t fall zactly in line with myownself. Theys must be ignant! I’s more smarter den dem fools.”

  73. My emotional evolution as a result of this LB entry:

    Picture 1 – I’m puzzled
    Picture 2 – Now I feel a little grossed out
    Picture 3 – I’m despairing for humanity… again. The usual result of LB
    Picture 4 – I WANT TO DIE.

  74. Right on Soup!

  75. dirtylittlepretty

    that is DEFINITELY doo doo…but isn’t it cute how she matched her pink shoes with her outfit

  76. Christina.Willemina

    Wow, Soup, yu sur dun getted me figerred out!

  77. Can’t say I would want to see pictures of childbirth up on fb (trust me, I’ve seen worse in real life), but I think Soup has managed to make a complete ass out of himself trying to argue his for his homoerotic fascination with his own feces. Keep it classy Soup, we’ve made fun of many a person on here for less.

  78. @ Christina.Willemina

    Pretty sure it’s you that’s ignorant and self-absorbed for not being able to appreciate that most people DON’T LIKE PICTURES OF NEWBORNS COVERED IN GROSS LABOR GOOP. Unless the baby came out of your vagina or you want to work in the maternity ward at a hospital, it’s enough to make you lose your lunch.

    I’m not one for comment wars but you’re sincerely annoying with your verbal vomit.

  79. Okay, I’ll be good. Your threats of taunting have scared me straight. Well, not “straight”, I still take cock like a champ, because that’s what homos do. Now, why you equate poo with sex? That’s for you to work out on your own.

  80. Whether the last one is shit or period blood – I’d still hit it :-P

  81. forget the shit – that lady is wearing socks and crocs!

  82. liketotallycool

    Things you might not notice at first about the last pic:

    1-Extremely fat arms and legs
    2-Perfectly matched clothing and shoes
    3-Backpack which is literally tied to her back tightly rather than just hanging

    Such a classy lady, I wonder if somebody told her a joke before the picture…

  83. Heh. Not threats. Just noting where you stand in relation to much of what is posted. As for the rest – gay you may be, but I’d still bet my oh-so-cool username that you’re only still lurking on this sight because #4 up there is your new hero (no doubt displacing Justin Bieber). Possibly the only gal in the world you would make an exception for…

    Regardless, my point remains. There may be some other adolescents in the peanut gallery that find your comments entertaining, but I’m sure they’ll grow out of it.

  84. liketotallycool

    As for my opinion about whether newborn pictures are gross or natural, well, I’d say everybody’s free to put what they want on their facebook. Just make sure you choose the right title for your album, which carries a warning to those “not appreciating the miracle of birth” and perhaps those having breakfast at the time of viewing your family pictures :)

  85. Anyone who thinks that last one is period blood is clearly not female or they should see their doctors because that definitely is NOT a period stain!

  86. I thought it was period blood at first, but it’s a bit too brown to be that. Yuck. I don’t even want to get into the other reasons why it isn’t.

    Hilarious Halloween costume.

  87. Bieber? You impugn my character, good sir! My fancy boys are all beyond the age of legal consent. And sure, I’ve been known to go hogging on occasion, to see how the other side lives, but pink crocs? That shit is tacky.

    I appreciate your concern for my longevity. And I know it pains you that I interrupt the genius level discourse that normally takes place here, but you have overlooked the beauty of my system. As this post, and some of the comments confirm, people keep propagating that singular miracle of life, bringing their unique creations into our world. And those little bastards are going to love my retarded juvenile comments.

  88. If the last one was period blood I would think it would be ‘leaking’ from between her legs, not down the back of them … its definitely runny poo!!!

  89. You managed a number of four-syllable words there. Quite impressive really. However, I must nevertheless reject the premise that I could impugn your character. I think that would be hard to do on this thread.

    @ liketotallycool;

    Fair enough. IMHO, nothing that really deserves a debate – actually, probably not even a squabble.

    I’m bored. I think I’m going to go do something. If (as I suspect) the IT guys lied to me, and the internet does not crash down when I turn off my computer, please feel free to carry on this remarkable discourse in my absence. I will catch up tomorrow if I feel the need to ruin a perfectly good Friday.

  90. I’m guessing the chick in the last photo has Down’s syndrome. There’s no way a non-tard can walk around with shit in their shorts and appear oblivious. Not to mention the fact she’s dressed very tard-like.

    Anyway, retard or not, it’s pretty awesome.

  91. I had to weigh in on the fetal placenta whatever debate…agreed, not everyone wants to see it and it is gross…BUT I also believe in not hiding from the nasty parts of life. Anyone who gives birth (most women) or any man in the birthing room will see this shit at some point. Why act like we’re all still in middle school about it? Yes. It’s gross but accept it for what it is. A part of life you are not likely to escape from. And if you, please realize something equally as gross or worse is, at some point, going to happen to you in your life. That’s just the reality of life.

  92. That being said…#4 makes me want to toss my fetus cookies too :)

    I feel so bad for her. Can you imagine her mortification when she realized what happened out in public?

  93. Now I’m sad. The arbiter of what is or is not acceptable has left our presence. It’s so cold now, so empty. How will I know what to act superior towards without it to show me the way?

  94. wow………….wtf….wow

  95. soup – i love your retarded juvenile comments. they always make me laugh and isn’t that the point of this site? i don’t understand why people come on here and bitch about comments like yours. they really need to take that stick out of their ass. also, i’m with you and skeleton key on the birthing pics. it’s beautiful for the parents of that child but for the rest of us it looks gross. i don’t care if it’s my sister’s child that just popped out of her vag, i still don’t want to see all that gooky stuff.

  96. Whoa, I leave for a bit to drink myself silly and I miss a whole slew of stuff.

    I’ll warm ya up Soup, no need to catch a chill. You may be an ass and cross the line, but that’s what makes you so great. Much love Soup, my chicken noodle.

  97. When you’re walking down the street, and you feel it at your feet
    diarrhea, diarrhea
    When you’re taking off your crocs, and its dripping in your socks
    diarrhea, diarrhea

  98. Im sorry but the last lady has shit herself. period blood?? Really? It’s fucking brown!!! Like period running down your leg is any better then shit anyway, but it’s NOT blood.

    And while there may not be anything wrong with a new born baby covered in blehhh I dont think it needs to be posted onto the internet. Gross.

  99. Oh sure, now you ladies love me. But where were you when that bully was making me cry?

    @Miss Shegas
    I’d eat your abortion cookies any day.

    @chicky_monkey
    It’s like listening to Pavarotti. Bravo.

  100. i love this thread :)

  101. @fealkj: having Down’s syndrome doesn’t automatically make you a retard.

  102. sorry soup. i tend to not be online as much when i’m home so i missed most of her bitching. :-(

  103. Allow me to provide you with some lube, Lady Christina, so we can remove that redwood from your ass. Why couldn’t you post a picture of him after he is all cleaned up? I mean, think of how HE is going to feel when he sees all the nude, vernix-y pictures of him his mom put on the internet. Sadly, I think there might be some sick creeper somewhere who would get off to this, so now you are a child porn supporter. Asshat.

    *climbs off soapbox* Man, it’s drafty up there. I think I’ll make some fetus cookies and tea.

  104. Chewbacca shagger

    Soup, stop beein so ignarant and dill wit it.

  105. my eyes need therapy for the raping that they just received from this post. good god. the costume scared the shit out of me…well not like croc lady but still. i’m with the hobo on this one. why did i not heed the warning?

    as for the vernix/placenta/bloody baby pictures, keep them in the baby books and off of facebook. it’s natural. great. do you take pictures of sex and post them? no. “but it’s natural and everyone does it”. great. no one wants to see anyone or anything covered in vaginal excretions or whatever you classify it as. good god. keep it classy, or at least try to.

    @Soup sorry i wasn’t there for you.

    @Bezoar
    you’re frodo and you don’t have a pool.
    and you’re a fucktard.

  106. bollywood_rocks83

    No. 3 FTW.Imagine if she met a pro-life smug mother like christina and had to deal with the smug idiocy. She gets points for her costume.
    Not going to read all these(it’s 2am and I’m lazy) but Ms. Christina, you know my issue with morons like you who think they’re all that because they have kids? I and anyone with a vagina and uterus CAN have kids. The classiness comes in when deciding whether to overpopulate the world and whether to post gross pictures like 2 above. That’s when you get to feel smug! Stop showing off that you can in essence spread your legs and procreate. I can too and I don’t go around rubbing it in people’s faces with tasteless pictures.

    I’ll gladly pay for that baby’s therapy when he grows up and finds out his mum’s stupidity landed him in therapy.

  107. bollywood_rocks83

    Oh and to clarify since you already threw down the gauntlet: I do call people morons to their faces. Have had a few call the cops to file a charge of verbal assault and like the morons they were, the cops laughed them off.

  108. Wow. Went to comment on the pics but by the time I read down the comments I’ve practically forgotten them (except, of course, shit lady, I’ll never forget her). There are some tetchy people on here today.

    I worry that if someone picked a fight with me I wouldn’t be able to compete with all the syllable counters and ignorance claimers and whatnot.

    Soup, I enjoy your posts and I think you know that most people here do.

    <3

  109. @bollywood…..so angry….

  110. MsBuzzkillington

    Part of me actually feels bad for the lady in the last picture.

    Could have been a fart that had too much juice. Now she had an embarrassing walk home and her picture plastered all over the internet.

  111. It’s fair enough to guess that the last woman was experiencing anal leakage and simply didn’t feel it (perhaps it was a hot day and she didn’t notice shit drips among sweat drips). Big girls tend to sweat a lot so maybe when it’s hot she always has a hot ass and drippy thighs, who knows. She may not have realized at all. The Down Syndrome argument is also valid (As a kid I went to daycare with a boy with Downs, he was about twenty and still shit himself regularly) but I would think her guardian would have been near enough by to prevent this situation so to make it sadder, she was probably really close to home in that scenario.

    The Burg as in Pittsburgh, come on guys. Or another “Burg” town.

    I NEED a foetus cookie cutter! NEED!

  112. yea … that last one isn’t any form of anal expulsion …

  113. oh holy hell! that last one just made me want to vom up my breakfast

  114. p.s. where can i get a foetus cookie cutter??

  115. 2 things:

    1) I wonder exactly what “ironic foreshadowing” meant in reference to the costume…

    2) Maybe “in the burg” was cut off before the poster could finish typing “in the burger king parking lot”

  116. If Burg means Pittsburgh, why not say Burgh? What is to be gained by leaving out the last letter?

    I’m not even going to get started on the whole “Burgh should be pronounced Borough, like Edinburgh” thing.

  117. @Snip

    And -shire as well (pronouced Shy-er for you Americans, fuck knows why though), plus The Thames (pronounced Tems, also,for no reason whatsoever)

    English is stupid

  118. LOL VOM

  119. i love malteaser too

    ^^ :(

  120. I’m guessing #1 is of an upside-down rabbit-shaped cutter, not a foetus cookie cutter.

  121. I agree with TheGreeneyedFury, number 4 looks a bit like a case of photoshop.

    If genuine, you’d be gutted when you realised you’d been walking around like that.

  122. (The last one) Her double chocolate fudge cake with extra fudge sauce wouldn’t fit in her tiny bag, so she shoved it in her shorts but sat on it.

  123. @110: affectionately known as a shart- a cross between a fart and a shyt. Exceptionally dangerous when you have diarrhoea….

    For the last photo… I’m banking on a shart.

    3rd photo: might have looked better if she had it in a bucket with a cord leading up a skirt… I’ve seen it done, and while slightly unPolitically correct, looked great.

    1st photo: definately not a ‘bunny’ upside…

    2nd photo: meh

  124. @Soup! I’m in love. You are just to awesome. Sigh…

    @ 10: Hysterical! “Toss my fetus-cookies” indeed.

    All the photos were gross. Just varying degrees of it. The last one just takes the cake… sorry, the cookie.

  125. is yuki

  126. i guess nobody noticed the first one is just a rabbit-shaped cookie cutter, turned to the side?

  127. Christina is only being so defencive because it’s her in #2… or maybe #4, you decide.

  128. Seriously, how the fuck does that cookie cutter look like a baby fetus turned to the side? I turned it in photoshop, and photoshop never lies to me.

  129. rabbit turned to the side * hahaha

  130. @kieraitch

    A rabbit? Forgive me if i’m wrong, but as I remember it, rabbits have giant ears, do they not?

  131. Nope, definitely a fetus.

    http://www.stupid.com/fun/FETS.html

    Anyone else sufficiently creeped out by the eyes on the cookie? I think I would just frost them pink or blue and leave the life-like details alone, haha.

  132. Christina.Willemina

    naaaice – I’m being defensive because it’s absolutely ridiculous for anyone to think a woman holding her new baby is anything but beautiful.

  133. lol there’s nothing beautiful about a grey baby with bits of minge still stuck to it.

  134. Oh God. I can’t even talk after that last one.

  135. verb pervert- a tribute

    Ohh please Christina, I have my own son and can fully admit to myself in every picture I look doped out the ass. Childbirth might feel beautiful but it doesn’t look pretty till the gunk is wiped off.

  136. Anything but beautiful??? Come on now Christina…. You can not honestly say that anyone who doesnt think that pic is beautiful is being “absolutely ridiculous”.

    Vom

  137. Christina the point is why do you feel it’s necessary to post stuff like that online? You think your child is going to think it’s beautiful? Any woman can open her legs and pop a baby out. But it takes some dignity and class to not show something like that to the world. If you honestly believe that all 150 of your friends enjoy it then you’re the one who’s self absorbed. When you give birth to your child YOU feel it’s all beautiful but I doubt everyone you know could care. It’s just the plain fact. Babies are not miracles they’re a part of the natural reproductive system. Get over yourself.

  138. That perfect burrito I ate last night was anything but beautiful, too. Perhaps I should take a picture of the food baby I’m about to give birth to. My friends will be dazzled to see it.

  139. Fetus cookies and poo pants. YUMMMM!!!!!!

  140. Christina.Willemina

    Carmen – I’ve stated before that I have a private profile. I don’t post “stuff like that” on the internet for any jackass (…) to see. I’m also done arguing the point. You have your opinion, and I have mine. Until you walk in my shoes, you have no place to say anything about my beliefs. I believe that birth IS a miracle, and a beautiful experience. It’s the LOSERS on here who start calling names for no reason and trying to pretend like they can summarize my life without knowing me that gets me riled up.

  141. What is so miraculous about a baby coming out of your vagina?people have been doing it since the beginning of time! Your private profile also has 150 potential unfortunate souls who have to see a gunk covered baby that came fresh out your vag. You know what would be a miracle? If your child doesn’t grow up hurting puppies and smearing his own shit on the walls.

  142. It’s only an abortion if you eat them raw.
    And by the way (notice I did not use BTW). The last one, there is nothing I can add that has not been said but that I will need to now pluck my fucking eye balls out as they offend me.

  143. Christina, no trolling here, just some honest advice. You’re not challenging ignorance; I think most of the Lamebook community is aware enough of the birthing process (many of them being mothers), so “ignorance” doesn’t apply here.

    Simply, you think childbirth is beautiful and sacred and is something to share with others. Most people seem to disagree with you. Neither side is right nor wrong, it’s just opinion. If your 150 family members and friends are comfortable with that kind of exposure to intimate moments between a mother and child, more power to them.

    There’s no point arguing about this (either side). It’s a difference of opinion. Some people think child birth is something to capture in a camera and post online; others don’t.

    Everyone settle down :)

  144. Still don’t get why birth is a miracle. Unless she was in the process while she was being held hostage in a bomb factory.

  145. bollywood_rocks83

    Aww,now mark beat me to it. Just to add something: the “miracle”(by using that term, christina also comes across as a brainwashed christian who probably thinks waking up is a miracle). Anyhoo, the miracle of birth for me means a post menopausal woman who suddenly got preggers NATURALLY(no IVF or fertility treatment). It’s impossible for a 60yr old woman to have babies and when that happens, then by all means let her call it a miracle. If I’m in my 20s and pop out kids like clockwork every year, it IS NOT a miracle. It’s proof that I’m a normal healthy woman using my good good for what nature intended.

  146. @ bollywood I would so do you and I’m not even a lesbian we could post the afterwards on Facebook!

  147. Christina.Willemina

    Bollywood – far from Christian. It took 6 years for me to finally get pregnant, so I do consider my son a miracle. I thought I would never be able to have kids. The whole process of being pregnant and feeling your baby kick and hear it’s heartbeat is an amazing thing that I couldn’t even begin to explain to you unless you’ve been there. It just sucks to see some people find it disgusting, but to each their own. Just don’t try to downplay my experience.

  148. If you’re on this site be prepared to have your entire life down played.

  149. Birth is a miracle. Bringing a new life into the world? Wondrous thing. The moment two parents get to meet their little baby for the first time? So special.

    Clicking on to your Facebook homepage and being greeted with the sight of a wrinkly little newborn covered in blood, and shit, and goop? Not so awesome.

    Oh, and go Team Soup. And Team Fourteen Hours To Late :D

  150. Too.

  151. I just saw Christina’s last comment and I just wanted to clarify that I by no means mean to downplay the apparent wonder of her pregnancy. Just that, if I was one of her friends, I would not want to see immediate after-birth pictures, no matter how happy I was for her.

  152. Also why is the Hobo giving disclaimers to make sure he doesn’t offend people? That twat’s gone soft.

  153. @BritishHobo: Touche. Very well said.

    @Christina: Must suck being the only person on here with your opinion, which is odd I think. If the opinion was more split, which I’m surprised it isn’t, I don’t think you’d be getting such a personal bashing. If I were you I’d let this one go.

  154. Who's That Girl?

    Holy shit! I can’t believe I am so late on this post! This is the best thread in ages!

    Soup rocks.

    I have birthed 2 childred, and not a chance in hell I would even TAKE pictures like that, much less post them. I respect that SOME people think it’s beautiful, but have the intelligence to understand that MOST people think it’s offensive.

    And get a life – it’s lamebook! If you don’t have the think skin for the bashing and “jeuvenille” comments, go watch the Disney Channel instead!

  155. Wow……

    I wanna comment!

    I see nothing wrong with the pregnant goopy grey baby picture.

    Except that it’s on facebook. However, we can’t know if she set up a private profile to make it easier for a few of her closest family/friends to see. (but I doubt it)

    I always assume that everyone has 500+ “friends” for their facebook account, which is what makes the picture lame, to me. If she only added 3 and named the profile “intimate pregnancy/birth pictures”, then I’m all for it. (but again, I doubt it)

    Either way, I hope she has a picture of her crowning in her album, cuz I could really go for some preggo porn right now.

  156. Christina.Willemina

    Jack – I agree. Letting it go. No point arguing with a brick wall.

  157. bollywood_rocks83

    not downplaying and no offense but if the pics you posted look like that nastiness on two then I really am not in sympathy here. You couldn’t wait for about 15 mins for him to be cleaned up and dressed before trotting him out to the world? Although with pictures like that,maybe the baby daddy or the grandmother is to blame. I’ve heard women are so out of it after the process it takes effort to think “ooh baby popped out, take a picture and put on FB”.

    Again not downplaying here but if you were married and started freaking out after a while that you couldn’t have kids, maybe that’s the bigger issue. If you were in your twenties or even still menstruating, then you can always have kids. My grandmother had my youngest uncle when she was 40. I ramble but my points remain:
    1. Do not post pictures like two online. You could ask your 150 friends what they think of two and see what they say. If you’re not a drama queen and expect them to be totally honest, you’ll be amazed.
    2. Mums who are smug piss me off. It’s not a feat that you can have a baby. So can I! So can every MENSTRUAL woman. The issue is can you raise them not to be like Melissa and friends and most of the “challenged” individuals we see daily on LB?

    I’m getting off my soapbox.

  158. Who's That Girl?

    Ahhhhh…the beauty of giving birth! True Story: While pushing, I actually shit whit giving birth. I’m sure everyone would have LOVED to see those pictures!

  159. @mcowles: Obviously someone who had access to the picture thought it was OTT.

  160. @Who’s

    So you were crowning… twice, at the same time?

  161. Christina.Willemina

    158 – My friend did that too. No pics though. Actually, almost all hospitals won’t let you take photos of the nether regions during birth. (at least in Ontario) I would have killed someone.

  162. Having a baby is a wonderful thing, but when you as a mother look at your baby, you see a beautiful baby. When other people look at that same photo, they see this pink wrinkly thing covered in stuff they don’t want to think about. We don’t have the same hormones pumping through our veins that you do, nor do we have the months of growing attachment that occurred between you and the developing fetus. So while you see a beautiful picture, most other people are going to see something slightly disturbing, generally in direct proportion to their emotional distance from the baby. It’s certainly a beautiful moment for those involved, but it is also a private one.

  163. Who's That Girl?

    @mcowles – Not quite baby crowning yet. The release of your bowels comes with the first couple of pushes, the baby crowning comes with later pushing. They clean the crap away before the baby comes. SOrry to disappoint.

    And that is definitely shit in the last picture!

    I had a friend who sharted in the car on the way to work once. She had to stop at Dunkin Donuts to clean herself up. Good times!

  164. @Christina.Willemina

    Crowning is a natural, beautiful thing. The first moment the child is reaching into the cold, bright world! (Cold because they’re going from 98 degrees to … less).

    Why would that not be beautiful?

    And iPhones are discreet. It’s not like they’d take your phone away, or camera, if you quickly snapped a picture before someone could hold up the “no yatch photography please” sign.

  165. @Kat:
    you already looked silly writing a comment that just said “FIRST!” what’s the point of that? expecting a ribbon or trophy of some sort? or perhaps you feel like it gives you something to gloat about, because we all care so much about you getting the first comment?

    sorry, tangent. I just hate when people write a comment on the only thing it says is “FIRST!”. even moreso if they were second.

    ps… that last one almost made me puke

  166. Who's That Girl?

    Oh, I have so many baby stories:

    Friend videotaped her birth. She told my spouse that her husband cried during the birth. Intrigued, my husband wanted to see his friend cry on the video. Pressed play on the video camera to be greeted by Julie’s blood enthralled babakanoosh and a crowning wrinkly baby head. He says he’ll never be the same…

  167. Who's That Girl?

    Oh my, Ben, is that you???

  168. Christina.Willemina

    mcowles – I didn’t say it wasn’t beautiful, I just said a lot of hospitals won’t let you film it. I was in the delivery room with my best friend and they wouldn’t let anyone have a camera down there, so I took pictures from beside her.

  169. Haha, now Christina is getting yelled at for not thinking it”s beautiful!!! Read some of the older posts mcowles….

  170. @Who’s That Girl?: She videotaped her own birth? That’s some feat. :P

  171. @Christina

    You said you would’ve killed someone. I assumed that meant you would NOT have wanted a picture “down there”, even if it was allowed.

    @Jackulahaha

    I’ve read many of them… definitely not 168, but I think I’ve got the gyst of it all.

    Let’s see if I missed anything…

    1) everyone agrees that fetus cookies look fun and Miss Shegas says that they’re really abortions that you’re being tricked into eating.

    2) No one really commented on it much… over the top halloween costume, but nothing like the other three

    3) Most everyone thinks it’s gross (or at least shouldn’t be on facebook). Soup and Christina don’t like each other. Both are sarcastic. Both like to receive the anal lovin’.

    4) It’s definitely poop.

    Did I miss anything?

  172. Nope.

  173. bollywood- not everyone who menstruates can get pregnant or give birth. You obviously have no idea what you are talking about. Look into infertility, there are many causes that would make it impossible for some women to get pregnant or give birth, while still allowing the wonderful monthly gift.

  174. @mcowles

    that sums it up pretty nicely, yes.

  175. Oh, wait! YES! You missed that Christina has been bashed for continually saying that childbirth and this picture are a beautiful thing!!! I just thought it was funny that then you said “why would that not be beautiful” to her.

    Other than that though, very thorough :-)

  176. Christina.Willemina

    mcowles – For damn sure I’d be pissed. I said I have pictures of me holding my son seconds after birth, I don’t have pics of my vajayjay.

  177. christina- i think it’s great that you have pictures holding your son moments after birth. i think being pregnant and giving birth is an awesome thing. what most of here are saying is that we don’t want to see pictures of people other than ourselves in these situations. one poster said it nicely when they said we don’t have the same hormones running through us and we didn’t have the bonding period that mother and baby had so it doesn’t mean to us what it means to the mother.

    mcowles- very nice summary!!

  178. Nice! I want those fetus cookies and the halloween costume!

    and for the second one I am with Christina on it. I am sure some of the family and friends want to see that picture. Others who wouldn’t enoy it (like me) can easily avoid it by not clicking on the album. The person who send it hyere is way more lame because we had no escape from looking at it

  179. By the fuck Soup, it’s so damn easy sometimes.

  180. malteaser- holy shit! we got a full sentence from you.

  181. I initially thought it was period blood too, which can look brown, but it’s a dark reddish brown, not this orange brown shade we have here. I’d say she definitely has diarrhea running down her leg.

  182. @Christina
    I believed you have been Souped.

    @Kat
    People like you give me a bad name, Frodo.

    @Blaziken
    No, you subterranean fire type pokemon! How dare you call Christina “Lady Christina!” You hurt my feeling (singular).

  183. EWW believe*

  184. Christina.Willemina

    Sorry, I don’t recognize ‘souped’.

  185. TheGreeneyedFury

    I realize the possibility of the fourth picture being period blood or diarrhea is hysterical and way more fun than the Photoshop possibility but seriously…how is that notion not being examined? That “shit” looks totally Photoshopped.

    And also, Christina is Frodo…or at least that is what I’ve gotten from that whole back and forth.

  186. This post is twisted and disgusting. Last picture makes me think of “what happens in the pants stays in the pants”.

  187. Christina doesn’t have a pool.

  188. Christina, I think I lost the most respect for you out of this whole pointless arguement on how you think babies are oh so adorable, and beautiful covered in white gunk when you called your vag a “vajayjay.”

  189. OMG that baby picture and last picture is so nasty I think I’m gonna barf now

  190. Christina.Willemina

    Voodoo, I certainly do not (not a fan of the Shire pools). and sobunk, if I cared the least bit about the respect of random people on the internet, I wouldn’t post on ‘lamebook’. All of this stupidness started over me thinking LAMEBOOK was being insensitive for posting a picture of a mother and her new baby and labeling it NSFW. Everyone else started with the immature comments (totally expected) and took it to a whole new level of stupidity. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but when you start thinking you know who I am and making personal attacks, you’re damn sure I’m going to swing back. Seriously, get a life. you didn’t need to add to a conversation that was over long ago.

  191. Christina.Willemina

    BTW – I do not see a rabbit in that cookie cutter!! Can someone tell me how to look at the damn thing to see the rabbit?

  192. rofl I want that cookie cutter.. I don’t see how it’s gross at all!

    But yeah that fat girl bleeding is pretty nasty.. you’d think she’d notice the trickle down her leg.

  193. 4th – Ladies is probably just on Alli or something to help her lose weight; however, a side effect is pooping your pants.

  194. I registered just so I could comment on this.

    I can see how people think it’s a Bunny…..but it’s a stretch. the legs/arm of the fetus would be the ears…the head of the fetus would be the tail, body is the body either way

    Cheers

  195. Christina, I have just the URL you’re in need of;

    http://stfuparents.tumblr.com/

  196. Christina.Willemina

    I’ll be sure to check that out after my lobotomy.

  197. @Christina.Willemina: This one may be better. After all, it is beautiful thing. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ

  198. Holy trickleshit, that’s a lot of comments. Someone asked what “The Burg” is, and I’m pretty sure it’s Keansburg, New Jersey, which they call “The Burg”. If I missed someone answering this already, just think of this as a reiteration.

  199. #20 nobody: She doesn’t need to be running anywhere.
    #167 Who’s: I thought the same thing.
    I had no idea malteaser had an opinion about anything. Either that or he finally replaced his broken keyboard.

    The costume kinda shocked me at first. Didn’t see that coming. Although I will give an A+ for originality.

    I was in the delivery room when my daughter was born. It is a beautiful sight. But that is where it stayed. Christina, if you haven’t realized that everybody has an OPINION about everything. Then I understand why you think that 150 or so of your family and friends don’t mind that you have those pics on your profile.

    That is shit. Not period, not fudge cake.

    GO TEAM SOUP!!!

  200. @WaggagePatch: i do believe you are the first to say Keansburg, and i would have to agree. thats a great example of the type of people who inhabit that mutant town.

  201. Well, thought I’d pop in and check things out after a few days of heavy petting, and for what it’s worth I gotta say…

    1.I’m digging the first trimester cookies, beats raw placenta with salsa any day.

    2.Immediate post birth pics, big fucking deal, I see more horrific sights just going to the supermarket.

    3.The Carrie/Alien tribute, or whatever the hell it is, is the worst thing on here for mine.

    3.Pink, brown, and black… never good colours together.

  202. @wordperv: It’s a Dawn of the Dead (remake) tribute costume.

  203. Thanks SeeBea, good movie, but I liked “Shaun of the dead” better.

  204. ………………oh my word.

    -Gods investment in you (His son!) was SO great, he could never abandon you!-

  205. .

  206. Not that anyone is going to come back and read this post but I thought I would toss in my two cents. I think the girl in pick is handicapped.

  207. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    drevilhomer You would be surprised.

    Also Team soup, Christina should definitely check out STFU parents.

    I miss malteaser :(

  208. Mmmm… babies… er, I mean cookies…

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