Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Parent Trapped

previous post: Just a Few Quickies

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58 Comments

  1. I really have nothing to say but this gaping space under “comments” was screaming at me

  2. Go to bed mom… geez.

  3. Terrell, I’ll perform a circumcision on you, with no local of course, because that’s what you get for insulting me with your shitty spelling.

  4. Natasha is a big fat whore

  5. Mixed baby? I prefer mine shaken, not stirred…

  6. Carla, try fondling his balls while you work the shaft…that might get things going a little faster.

  7. bollywood_rocks83

    OMG! Is “Ry Ry” an accessory for Danielle? It’s not like a handbag that you can trot out to show off to your friends. Is it?

    I thought childbirth was supposed to be painful. Is Natasha such a glutton for punishment? Maybe the Duggars are like her greatest heroes ever.

  8. No mixed babies here. I prefer mine straight up.

  9. Natashas gud gud is probably very flappy.

  10. Haha! Sturg?! I wonder if that’s Sturgis, South Dakota. If so, Natasha is not only a whore, but a white trash whore at that!

  11. @Still Just Me

    What about Babies On The Rocks? A Slippery Baby? Baby & Tonic? Sex On The Beach With Babies?

  12. I think Terrell has a point.

  13. Lamebookpro,
    I’m assuming that’s why you exist in the first place. Your dad saw a gaping space and also decided it needed to be filled. Although I’m assuming he didn’t get “firsties”, which may explain your continued efforts to get them yourself. I wonder if he is also knobjockey’s father. Two peas in a pod.

  14. Wow, Cheryl is classy!

  15. Bleh. Never in my life have I been more thankful to be a gay orphan.

  16. My mother is blocked from my facebook because I can’t post anything without getting into a fight with her…and I’m 30!

  17. Studies have shown that “banging ass body” is the top prerequisite for good parenting.
    Being able to rage is #16.

  18. @MikeyMike

    When you’re with a guy and he’s yelling out “oh yeah, who’s your daddy?”, do you respond with “I…don’t… know!!!!” and then start crying?

  19. I just realized that that comment might have been over the line. If so, then I apologize.

  20. Bucky Fellini is Frodo

  21. @jennay

    That comment was PURE WIN.
    Also, please tell me your name is a forrest gump reference!
    ‘dear God, make me a bird…’

  22. The fact that Carla was waiting for her son to cum is downright gross!

    Although… I once had to wait for my brother to cum, but that was just because I wanted my turn with the sock.

  23. Whoa, mcowles I’m not sure if that’s good sharing, or bad sharing!

  24. I hate it when I’m going through my friend’s husband’s drawers and run into his “dirty socks”…what ever happened to tissue??

    And believe me, you don’t want to know what I’m doing in his drawers…

  25. @ Bucky Fellini:

    Lolwut? I’m drunk and chilling on some xanax, so not sure what you were talking about. Was that an insult? If so, whatever. I feel damn good.

  26. @eenerbl

    Are you referring to my sharing my past with you all or my sharing of socks with my brother?

    @Who’s That Girl?

    Why would he keep his sock in his drawers? Was he stuffing? Or am I thinking of the wrong kind of drawers?

    I’ve never actually “used a sock”… the thought is kind of gross, but meh… to each his own.

  27. @Who’s That Girl?

    I want to be environmentally friendly when I’m doodle whacking. I’d need paper towels to handle my man-sized chowder deposits, and I’m trying to save trees.

  28. @dawnstar

    Yes that is a Forrest Gump reference. Let me congratulate you on being the first person I @ at.

  29. @mcowles: I was referring to dresser drawers. I don’t get the sock fetish, but I still find the hard single crusties in there. I like to get all his underwear and put it in the freezer…

  30. @Bucky Fellini. that’s so funny. Always great to hear from you. You take care now and don’t forget to study for your SAT’s

  31. @Soup – Dude, do it in the shower. No messy cleanup for your oversized bundles of joy…

  32. @mcowles

    reply 18 & 22 were the only things that even made me laugh at this post. I just feel bad for the children…

  33. @knobjockey – yeah I think Bucky’s “Harry Potter” tee is fitting too tight. he’s all worked up about me posting first and somehow you got dragged into it. Don’t let it bother you. Pop another Xanny and Bucky will go back to the shire.

  34. @WTG

    I tried that but the TV screen got all wet and smeary, and the DVD player slipped into the tub. Not only was I almost electrocuted, but my copy of Anal Blasters 2 was completely ruined.

  35. @ Soup – ohhh, that sucks about Anal Blasters 2. I can let you borrow my “Ass Pirates: The Search for the Pearl Necklace” if you like. I forget guys need visualization to get off…

  36. @mcowles, either. But I am glad you are not a sock guy.

    @Soup, I just like you more and more with each dirty thing you say!

  37. mccowles, not over the line. Hilarious.

  38. @mcowles aahahahaha brilliant! you’re hilarious!!!

    @Who’s That Girl? why on earth are you even TOUCHING your brother’s cock-socks…let alone putting them in the freezer…?

  39. Cant belive there is someone who is actually called Ry Ry, fuck knows how that would be pronounced, its ounds like a starting car, also natasha really is a slut if she doesnt even know what colour her own baby is.

  40. My wife still has a “banging ass body” and she has had three kids, her ass bangs the back of her legs when she walks….boom-tish.

  41. @ mcowles at least you know where your brother’s hose has been (and, yeah, that’s a pun; thanks for the set-up)

  42. @mcowles (22):

    The first part is exactly what I thought when I read this submission. The second part, well… sharing is caring, right?

    Right?!

  43. worst_episode_ever

    danielle is the kind of mom i’d like to punch in the face

  44. Is nobody else disturbed by the fact Carla doesn’t even know how to spell her sons fathers name????

  45. @44

    I like that THAT’S the most disturbing thing to you here.

  46. @ juju – I said my friend’s husband, not my brother. And the underwear is in the same drawer as his socks…and that’s what he gets for poring cold water in my shower

  47. Bravo to mcowles’ posts. And what exactly does she mean by a mixed baby? Racially? Or like part elf and part giant?

  48. Soup, have I told you lately that I love you?

  49. How do you get them started on using a sock?
    I wish my husband would. I don’t like crusty blankets. Nu uh, no thanks.

  50. If you want to have sex with Danielle, just say these words, “I love your body.” Open sesame. Of course you would have to tolerate the, “I love having sex. I am so young and hot. I have a hot body. I am banging ass hot. I am a MYLF. I have a Ry Ry. I’m so good in bed.” ad infinitum nauseum.

  51. @GoddessDigi

    It’s all about conditioning. Just stash a sock down by your monkey hole when you and the husband are going at it. Make sure he sees it. Keep doing it until you notice him getting excited any time you’re folding the laundry. Nature will take over and you’ll be in crusty sock heaven.

  52. Ok someone explain this to me… is a mom (Carla) waiting for her son to cum the same excitement as a dad who tells his friends he can’t wait for his daughter to bleed or what?

  53. Dcrearview,
    Impossible, I don’t even have a pool!

  54. lostintranslation

    @Bucky: I think you’ll find that Frodo doesn’t have a pool either.

  55. Danielle is the most redundant person ever.

  56. She LOVES being redundant! Redundancy is awesome! She is the best at being redundant, obviously!

  57. @Owned
    Ry Ry is probably a nickname for “Ryan.” Hopefully he’ll grow out of it by the time he’s 2. Considering his mother’s awesome ability to skank, I mean, parent, he probably won’t.

    Hmm… I wonder how long it will take Carla’s life to be full. Is that why she’s waiting for her son??? Maybe he’s the only male in her life that’s ok with her not being able to spell his name.

  58. I’m pretty sure Ry Ry is a nickname for Riley, considering that’s the name she uses at the beginning of her original post.

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