Thursday, July 8, 2010

Pair Problems

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77 Comments

  1. STEVER!

  2. Alright Im confused on jesse’s post, did he fuck his hot asian wife’s teenage daughter? Or was she present during their fucking/weed smoking in the hotel?

  3. I think it is the 2nd option, but I am puzzled as well.

  4. Boy oh Boy breaking up sure is getting easier to do with all this new technology.

    Anyone remember back in the day, when ending a relationship meant actually seeing the individual… sad sad Adam

  5. the daughter walked in when they were laying there after the sex.

  6. Oh so he grabbed his wifes pussy in front of his daughter, he made it seem like he grabbed the daughters pussy.

  7. @bucketofscuzz

    you remember the days before letters?

  8. @azirik

    the teenager daughter of his hot asian girlfriend who is going through a divorce walked in on him and the girlfriend petting and partaking after intercourse

  9. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    I think the chick is cheating on her husband with him, and their daughter caught them after the cheating sex.

  10. parenthesis before who and after divorce

  11. Weed probably dosent help my comprehension skills too much.

  12. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Lol @ Shipoopi #7

  13. @azirik

    you read it as, he just got through having congress with the girlfriend and was toking up, and accidentally grabbed the daughter who he didn’t seem to know was in the room?

  14. Yep pretty much

  15. How is that not easy to understand? He woke up from having sex with his hot asian girlfriend (she’s still married but getting a divorce) and her teenage daughter walked in on him with his hand on her vag.

  16. pair problems? perhaps it should be ‘post problems’, as lamebook continues with another season of barrel scraping.

  17. @Philsberry

    Just seems odd to me that the door to their smoke/fuck session was left unlocked the whole time. You’d think if you were gonna do that youd get the teenage daughter her own room so you can plow away, but meh, thats just me.

  18. Would ‘GirlFRIED’ be considered a Freudian slip given that they were getting fried? Or was Jesse just too blazed to type properly?

  19. @Azirik – what do you expect from drug using adulterers? The mother probably takes the child to work with her at the “massage parlor”

  20. also, taylor obviously hasn’t read melville -

    ‘crack, crack old ship! so long as thou crackest, thou holdest!’

    i bloody love moby dick.

  21. @ dan

    it’s spelled ‘parlour’.

    sorry, couldn’t resist.

  22. @alordslums – here in America (what used to be the best country in the world before the liberal fascists started destroying it) we spell it “parlor”. Just like “color”.

  23. Lol Vinny..Seriously

  24. lol @ liberal fascists.

    that’s like saying ‘cool christians’.

  25. anoiseannoysanoyster

    Jesse cant be real. A guy wouldn’t be playing with his girlfriend after sex. He’d roll over and go to sleep.

  26. Jesse’s looks like the first paragraph of a Penthouse Forum letter.

    “I always thought these stories were made up, but then this happened to *me*…”

    What really happened is Jesse was laying in bed with a fat Asian prostitute trying to explain to her how that sort of thing has never happened to him before, but since the session only lasted for 25 seconds he would like some of his money back. The “teenage daughter” was the prostitute’s pimp who busted in to throw Jesse’s cheap ass out the door.

    By the way, self-censorship just makes you look like a puritanical moron. If you’re going to use the word just use it…covering it up with asterisks just makes you look foolish.

  27. @dan_fargis how do you figure that the US used to be the best country in the world, it is after all like all other countries just a giant landmass that people have given a name to, you can’t really claim that god said it was the best landmass in the world cause it didn’t officially exist when that catastrophe of drug induced bollocks of a book was written.
    do you determine it perhaps on the adulterous heathenistic denizens that you so openly ridicule on this site?
    or do is it an opinion based on a worldwide vote that resulted in the USA being the overall best? or is it simply because it is big?

    I don’t have any opinion of the US negative or positive it simply just is, as is every other country on this planet.

    but when it comes to speaking our language do it properly colour is spelt with a “u” as so the word “parlour”

  28. @InSonicBloom: Is that a hook in your mouth, or are you just glad to see Dan_fargis?

  29. just glad I think!

  30. Did anyone else think that when Jesse put p**** he meant penis?

  31. InSonicBloom needs to meet Admiral Ackbar

  32. @morfoot: I did as well… I was like, “Oh, his hot asian GF is a pre-op tranny?” I still maintain that as the truth.

  33. @morfoot – no wonder he felt weird!

  34. @MasterProp: I find it hard to believe that Jesse could get a ‘girlfriend’ that wasn’t a pre-op tranny!

  35. morfoot, that was my first thought.

  36. @InSonicBloom: Latin was around before English, and they spell it “color”, so suck my balls.

  37. Right, So i have been a fairly devout lamebook follower for the last 9 months or so (yes, i know ben and Frodo), but i feel it is finally the time to subscribe and comment on my beloved posts.

    What is going on? the wit, pace and intelligence of the comments section has completely disappeared. Guaranteed entertainment vai soup, word, hobo (malteaser) has been replaced with a trolling (but still annoying) religious zealot, an illiterate carpenter’s fan club (Yoink is funny as hell, but seriously whats with the constant ‘i love Yoink’ bullshit) and endless twilight/justin beiber/women in kitchen/other-current-affair-which-only-14-year-olds-care-about shite.

    Cmon folks, next time the ‘uk v usa’ ‘religion v science’ ‘colour v color’ debates come up, ignore them! Instead make a nice wholesome comment concerning grotesque sexual practices, how stupid the people in the posts are, or, erm, more grotesque sexual practices (looking at you soup).

    I am also interested in the idea of BBQ scented vagina.

  38. @morfoot: I concur. That’s probably the real reason he “*”ed it out, as his story in generally makes me doubt he lacks the modesty to question using vulgarity online.

  39. @kangarooster: Instead of bitching about the comments, why don’t you try to contribute something to add to the discussion? I’m neither witty, nor perverse, enough to do as you suggest.

    That being said, I, too, am pretty sick of the yoink fan club business going on, as well as the trolling fargis. But not the BBQ vagina… that is pretty freakin’ nasty. If it smells like BBQ, it’s been marinating in it’s own juices for far too long.

  40. kangarooster, next time you post something incendiary, i’m going to tie you to my office floor (i don’t have an office), and use your vagina (i presume you have a vagina) as the target for some gentle putting practice.

    as the ceo of my own company (i don’t have my own company), i think it’s high time i learned to play golf properly and used my power to sexually exploit someone for my own gratification.

  41. Super Nintendo Chalmers

    @kangarooster

    I agree with you about yoink – a few months ago someone with his typing skills would have been blasted out of the water. Not that I dislike him, I just don’t understand the fascination.

    Regarding Dan, I would have to disagree. I don’t think he’s a troll at all (or a zealot). His responses are well-crafted, on-topic, and funny as hell.

  42. las ones loooooool. uver ones anit funny.

  43. Eh, memberships will always have turnover. I’ve been reading lamebook for something like a year now and I think Dan and yoink are funny.

    Haha, girlFRIED, I just noticed that. I prefer my Asian fried too, steamed is too soggy. Ick.

  44. Hmmm bbq smelling, well then maybe Jughead would like girls more.

  45. laugh.out.loud

    Morfoot has a point! Eewww he did say ‘on’ not ‘in’

  46. kangarooster, agreed. The yoink obsession got old about three days before he joined Lamebook, and that BritishHobo guy should just go hurl himself out of a window to save us having to read anymore of his dull, dull comments.

    I miss Soup.

  47. hobo, agree with everything you said.

    apart from the bit about yoink.

    :D

  48. At least I’m laughing today.

  49. I’m pretty sure yoink and BritishHobo are one in the same. Possibly also the same person as dan fargis, yoinksdad, iloveyoink etc.

  50. Funny how Soup’s name isn’t blue around the same time everyone just discovered how to use other people’s names.

  51. Start fucking with people’s usernames, and this place is dead to me.

  52. i said this yesterday. if it carries on then i’m done.

  53. alord i supa fucked off wiv it there loadsa posts that say me that anit me y peple gota do that?

  54. i think #53 is a fake.

  55. dirtylittlepretty

    Harry should be questioning why Vinny knows that his girl’s vagina looks like bbg………………btw gross.

  56. alord u got it sooooooooo rong im the reel fuckin yoink fa fucks sake sweer to god im getin so vex if i find owt who it is impostrin im gunna put a cucumba so far up there ass theyl get a sore froat

  57. is there a way to privat mesage on here? it ther is alord go back to one my orignal posts were u no its defo me pm me an il say wat u sed in the pm then ul no im the reel one

  58. this is getting dumb .. is that the same yoink that said both those things? I blame myself, I explained how to change your name :(

  59. fuckmustard!!!!!! ur falt!!! cucumbas gonna pikkle!!!!!!

  60. 56 an 57 is bofe me fuckmustard but the dude whos pretendin to be me is sayin that hes the reel one an i need the way to prove it im gettin seryusly fucked off wiv it i fink sumones tryin ta drive me of lamebook

  61. I am sorry yoink, I didn’t realize people were going to be idiots about it.

  62. fuckmustard 59 anit me dude i no udint meen it u was just explaynin just sum peple gota be dicks abowt it an wheva it is stop ur fuckin me of

  63. Arg this sucks, can we complain to the creators/editors of Lamebook to make them fix this ?

  64. fuckmustard can they fix it? seryusly guna hav to leve if they dunt stop

  65. They should be able to fix it since most sites don’t allow duplicate names.

  66. @yoink and F&%*Mustard – it appears to be a problem with the WordPress software which Lamebook uses. I’m not sure there’s much they could do other than find new software. Could be wrong though, hope I am.

  67. oh dan you make me laugh since you didn’t even type my name fully:)

  68. Lamebook fucking sucks.

  69. Think Boz had the right idea.

  70. Hey Hobo, notice how “Soup” didn’t post anything after you called him out?

  71. Suspicious, anit?

  72. Just a little. And as you pointed out, he/she/it apparently forgot that the REAL Soup’s name is hyperlinked. Splendid disguise.

  73. I would think that bbq vag would be an indication of a pretty serious problem–not something to be desired. And why does Vinny know what his buddy’s gf’s vag looks like? What kind of bbq? Pulled pork? That’s gross. Just sayin’.

  74. Would the real soup, please stand up???

  75. You can hyperlink your name? Coolness!

  76. Hah! It worked! Sorry, I am having a ‘Eureka!’ moment, however lame it may be to others.

    Although the fact that I appear to be alone on this site at this time may enhance the sheer lameness of my ‘Eureka!’ moment.. Ah well.

  77. @ dare2claire, how does one hyperlink their name??

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