Friday, May 7, 2010

One Line Winners

previous post: It’s Gonna be a FANtastic Friday!

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76 Comments

  1. Bang bang, you’re dead.

  2. WhyNotTheWhales

    Aaw, so close..
    that last post made my eyes water..

  3. Hahaha…Amy is my soulmate.

  4. That wouldn’t be OUR Shaniqua, would it? :O

  5. rebarbativebecc

    Had to read the last one four times to figure out what she was talking about :s

  6. If I ever read, sorry started to read a post like Shaniquas they would be deleted immediately no matter who they was.

  7. I’m dating a man who’s 60 years older than me. I buy him pills and he buys me my little ponies.

  8. Acabo de tener unos tacos impresionantes anoche y que apenas están empezando a hacer mi estómago estruendo como un volcán. Mi amigo, creo que te puedo ayudar con ese problema mierda de ustedes, pero creo que deberías venir aquí porque si me muevo, es probable que estalla fuera de mí.

  9. Nuff it’s too early in the morning for me to translate this LOL

    Amy is great but the last post made my eyes hurt

  10. Amy FT big fat W!!!!!!! that was awesome!

  11. I can read Shaniqua’s post about as well as I can read Nuffs comment…..

  12. @cupid
    Just rest assured that the words, ‘taco’, ‘volcano’, and ‘explode’ were used.

  13. @Emma Royds well done!

  14. someone needs to find Shaniqua and slap her.

  15. @nuff Well if you used all three of those words then ….well said :)

  16. @ nuff and cupid

    Via Google Translate:

    I just had tacos last night and stunning are just beginning to make my stomach rumble like a volcano. My friend, I think I can help with that problem fuck you, but I think you should come here because if I move, is likely to explode out of me.

  17. I’m Amy :) And thanks guys! I seized the opportunity lmao. She emailed me privately and I had a small conversation with her. I sent that in this morning. Ahhh…ghettoness.

  18. Well done Amy/nytmare! You get the winribbon!

  19. Did she say she was gon have hurr cuz shoot u wid a gat??

  20. @Emma thanks I was going to translate it after my morning coffee but you did it for me thank you!!:)
    @nytmare … Epic Win ..Please keep submitting her post… I feel she may have more coming … though you may be the topic

  21. discreetsinner

    is a shannay-nay a foreign version of the vajay-jay?

  22. @emma That’s mighty close, but a few things were lost in translation apparently.
    Nice one nytmare. Wear that winribbon proudly.

  23. Who's That Girl?

    That is the most ghetto fabulous post I have ever seen in my life! Looking forward to the follow up convo with Amy!

  24. Lmao @ all of you. She didn’t say she’d send her cuz at me with a gat, she sent me an email trying to convince me to respect her because she works three jobs and takes care of her mumz, sisa, and her bruva. It’s hilarious…ahh, you’ll see it ;D

    thanks to all of you =] I’ll wear it proudly!

  25. @nytmare you should try to submit her email …we would love to see it :)

  26. Shaniqua does deserve more stage time although her text input is quite painful to decipher. Keep em coming Amy!

  27. @nuff…Hilarious. I never thought I would be thankful for my Spanish Lit class here on Lamebook. Just goes to show, if you write shit in a foreign language, it comes out sounding classy.

  28. Who's That Girl?

    @nytmare – Tell Shaniqua that babysitting, smoking crack, and $50 BJs do not count as real jobs. But you’re confident her 6th grade education is going to get her far in life.

  29. What’s up with all of the racism, guys? You think it’s acceptable to see that someone has a black-sounding name and spells things incorrectly, so it’s suddenly OK to assume that she’s on welfare, smoking crack, and gives cheap blow jobs?

    This is really uncool.

    And for those of you who will claim that you were only making fun of her spelling, I know that’s not true, so save it.

  30. How could ‘bruva’ possibly originate from brotha?

    Who’s That girl …hilarious, but $50 Bj’s? I doubt it.

  31. I can’t translate the last sentence.

  32. Who's That Girl?

    @yowaiguoren – I’m pretty sure that YOU are the only one who made an assumption on RACE!

  33. Who's That Girl?

    I’m from Washington DC. I’ve seen ghetto. And it comes in all races.

  34. antiaphrodite

    @ yowaiguoren- nobody said anything about race. Your post is far more racist, assuming that welfare, crack, and cheap blow jobs are associated with a specific race…

  35. @alen2 or watever it is, WE DONT CARE!! STOP POSING IT!!

    that is all.

  36. *posting

  37. @cupid: I’ve already submitted the email this morning :) It’s hilarious, it really is. She tried to tell me I was being stereotypical. Well, I told her not to pull the race card because Al Sharpton does that enough for all of us. Even if a white girl wrote like that, it’d still be considered ghetto. I probably wouldn’t have even mentioned her name if it wasn’t for her retarded-ass “internet lingo”.

  38. @ Who’s That Girl @ antiaphrodite It doesn’t even matter what race the person in question is. By associating a black-sounding name with welfare, crack, prostitution, etc. (which the above comments did), that is being racist, regardless of whether the person is actually black. That is beside the point.

    I’m surprised and disappointed to see Lamebook (and Lamebook commenters) enjoying such racially-charged humor. If anyone here is lame, it is Amy, for publicly making fun of someone who she presumes is less fortunate than she.

  39. @yowaiguoren she’s PROBABLY commenting on the fact that Shaniqua doesn’t know how to speak english so obviously stupid. js.

  40. *so is obviously stupid

  41. antiaphrodite

    @ yowaiguoren- Amy made the welfare joke in the original post, hence why people carried on the joke here. Obviously, as it is someone she knows, it is very possible the person IS on welfare, hence why Amy said that in the first place.

    Anyway, it might just be me, but when people type like such idiots, I automatically think less of them and their education. Most people on welfare have little education.

  42. Jc: EPIC – FUCKING – WIN!

  43. @ antiaphrodite, you’re right. The next time I log onto facebook and see one of my friends who is on welfare purposely spelling things wrong, I will make fun of her name and announce to the public that she’s on welfare, thus cleverly implying to the world that her lack of education is the CAUSE of her welfare-status. Then I’ll take a screenshot of the whole affair and submit it to lamebook myself. That will be HILARIOUS!

  44. I thought Amy was just being “racist”, but now that you’ve explained the joke to me, I understand that she was simply being “factual.” Thank you.

  45. @ yowaiguoren

    You forgot that THEN you go onto lamebook and talk about how awesome you are for doing all of this. Extra HILARIOUS.

  46. Bonus hilarity- you find out she works 3 jobs. LOL.

  47. So, Nytmare, you single? Is her sister’s name really Shannaynay-aqueesha? Unsimiliarly, but equally ghetto, La-Shaw = LaDasha, “cuz the dash don’t be silent.”

    Hukt n krakonix wurkt for me.

  48. krasivaya_devushka

    This is so stupid! Why would you submit something and then come on here and brag about being the one who submitted it? Amy was probably thinking of smart/hilarious comebacks to that poor girl’s e-mails thinking she’ll be sooooo cool for sumbitting it on here and having it posted once again!

  49. Not a “win” in the bunch. Sad.

  50. Oh, and I completely agree with you, #47!

  51. Not to brag or anything, but I submitted that stuff in #46, just so you know.

  52. There are virtually no white people named Shaniqua. Fuck you and your racial sensitivity. Whether she is on welfare, or smokes crack, that is immaterial. This dumbfuck’s grasp of the English language is as wispy as one of my farts.

    Unless this girl is seven years old, there is no defense for this type of word rape. Amy, you did good.

  53. @yowaiguoren Actually you were the first person to bring up the whole racial thing. I wasn’t neccesarily making fun of her name. I picked on her because her grammar is ridiculously annoying and it gives off the impression that she is undereducated and poor. Those the “welfare” comment. Not because her name is Shaniqua. I work in a prison with 2500 inmates, mostly being black. I see racism everyday and I’m not part of it and I can garuntee you that I know a whole hell alot more about it that you do, sir.

    I didn’t come on here to “brag” that it was me. I came on here to see if it was posted, when it was, I told my “lovers” thank you for the cool things they said. So, haters? Suck it.

    To the rest of you, yes I already submitted the email, and it’s funny. Thus why I submitted it to Lamebook. Because she is lame, and she deserves a shining spot here.

  54. @nashntth – No, love I’m not single :D but I’m flattered that you asked. I’m actually dating a deputy sheriff who’s really good to me <3

  55. @yowaiguoren:

    Welcome to Lamebook. Now, please go kindly off to the nearest corner and fuck yourself silly with that monstrous dildo of racial hypersensitivity you’re carting around. I don’t give a shit if the child’s name is Shaniqua, Mioko, Habiba, or Mary Catherine Fucking Rottencrotch. Her grammar makes my brain bleed, and is therefore worthy of ridicule.

    @nytmare:

    Awesome retort. I look forward to reading more from you.

  56. yowaiguoren I don’t know where the fuck you are from but it is the year 2010 and racist jokes are funny.

  57. aaahh! “monstrous dildo” lmfao @Stretch.

    Thank you :)

  58. @yowaiguoren: I want to know where you live that $50 blowjobs are cheap? Rampant inflation sucks, but I guess we all just have to dill with it.

  59. You guys are right! I completely understand now. Being uneducated and spelling things wrong, being on welfare and working three jobs, and especially having a “ghetto” name that my mom gave to me: These things are all extremely lame. Thank you, Amy, for pointing this out.

    And let me tell you, since I’m from the south side of Chicago, I now have a LOT of people to laugh at!

  60. Toriesaretwats

    @ yowaiguoren:People devoid of a sense of humour should not be allowed on sites like this

  61. @yowaiguoren:

    I don’t see what’s wrong with insinuating someone has no education based on the fact that their spelling is fucking awful. People should be ridiculed if their ability to type coherent sentences is completely horrendous.

  62. antiaphrodite

    “You guys are right! I completely understand now. Being uneducated and spelling things wrong, being on welfare and working three jobs, and especially having a “ghetto” name that my mom gave to me: These things are all extremely lame. ”

    Glad to see you saw the light.

  63. @yowaiguoren…

    So just to get this straight… you come to Lamebook often enough to actually have a username and yet you STILL think that this post is racist?! What is wrong with you?! You must know that if she had been white and called something like ‘Lauren’ she still would have been called out on using such an appaling excuse for the English language.

    What has happened here is that YOU have been racist. You have noted the colour of her skin and decided that Lamebook and all the people who use it should treat her differently because of it. THAT, my dear, is racism.

  64. I wasn’t going to get in on this one, but I will.

    Spelling is essential to life. It falls in with the other basics we all need… food, shelter, oxygen, and sex.
    Without these things you’re fucked (except for the sex part).

    With today’s technology, even without a job or education, there is no reason to write like Shaniqua.
    There is spell check on facebook, and on Google. This kind of writing is a result of laziness, and attention seeking only.

    Hey, well all make typos, and screw up our grammar and punctuation at times (except for Soup, he’s always right on… the bastard), but this is unacceptable and should be torn apart.

    There is this bloke from the UK on my fb friends list, he’s white, has a job, and has had at least some education. He sends me private messages all the time saying, “Come on over word, I think you’re great”, blah blah.

    He doesn’t write it like that though, he writes like Shaniqua.
    At first I was polite, and then I just got pissed, and told him I hate the way he writes, and that I can’t understand him.
    He continues to write that way, so I choose to ignore the fucker now.

    There are no excuses Shaniqua, none.

  65. And yes, I made a typo in my 4th paragraph, and considering what I was saying at the time, it makes it quite amusing I think.

    By the way, happy Mother’s Day to all you Mothers out there.

  66. Seeing people deliberately opting for “alternative” spelling such as “fank” is fkn annoying.

    I just don’t see though what this has got to do with accusing her of (mis)using the welfare system. Then she defends herself against this unjust public scorn from Amy. Amy’s continued ridicule suggests that her own education didn’t reach far enough to teach her basic decency.

    And nytmare you did “necessarily make fun of her name” when you said “does that name fit on your welfare check”. I’m all for making fun of names. It’s the going from poor spelling, via classic stereotyped name, to disrespecting someone hard-working, I find lame.

  67. Haha, amazing. Lamebook always makes my day. Reading the comments, not so much.

    I find it ironic how “yowaiguoren” means “there are outsiders/foreigners.” Definitely confirms the anti-racist demeanor he/she tried to portray, huh.

  68. Nice one, Cassie. Hate alternative spelling, but can’t bring yourself to spell “fucking” correctly?

  69. Ooh well spotted Miss Zoe, that’s really clever. Did you want a prize? I wasn’t sure if certain words would be filtered out by LB, and took my chances people would know what I meant. Thank goodness for your sharp intellect and your efforts to clarify what “fkn” means. Oh and if you had a problem with the actual content of what I wrote, I suggest you explain what that problem would be instead of pointing out the obvious.

  70. krasivaya_devushka

    To me, the stupidest thing is that Amy came on here leaving comments that she’s the one who submitted it and that she will submit some more. Are you the type of person who sits on the computer browsing people’s profiles just to find something to post on here? You’ve made your point, whatever the hell it was, & it’s time for you to move onto something or someone else since you’re that obsessed with making fun of people.

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  72. @yowaiguoren: You’re not wrong, and poverty and structural disadvantages aren’t a source of boundless hilarity. Unfortunately, when you call people out for being prejudiced and mean-spirited, you’re more likely to be told to go f*** yourself with a “monstrous dildo” than to start a reasoned debate on the racialization of poverty. These people think that they’re winning the war against poor grammar and spelling, when in fact they’re discriminating against someone who is, as they point out, deliberately using non-standard English, for reasons they cannot possibly fathom. Thanks for trying to make the internet slightly less disheartening.

  73. @wordpervert Thank you. I couldn’t agree more. I’m so tired of working to decode these lame messages. It’s just not worth it.

  74. @deathstar, lalala, etc. I appreciate the support. It’s a lion’s den in here and I’m not going to comment again, but I think I made my point clear. Thx for listening!

  75. deathstar, yowaiguoren, what is racist about this is that you think we should not laugh at an uneducated black person just because they are black. If we are all equal we are all fucking equal. If you ask to be treated the same as everyone else and say that your skin colour is irrelevant you can’t pull the race card when someone takes the piss out of you. If someone takes the piss out of the color of your skin, the shape of your nose, your afro then yes, racist. If someone takes the piss out of the idiotic spelling and grammar in your facebook status don’t try and make out that they are doing it because you are black and not because you are a RETARD.

  76. @Tazinijif
    AMEN TO THAT!!

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