Thursday, September 16, 2010

Oh Baby

previous post: Win & Grin

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74 Comments

  1. Fucking vomit.

    That is all.

  2. OMG, baby. I’m so upset that Michael is taken, baby. I really think that, baby, we could have something special, baby.

  3. Oh baby, baby. Oh baby, baby Oh baby, baby, how was I supposed to know that something wasn’t right here…oh baby, baby there’s nothing that I wouldn’t do. That’s not the way I planned it.

  4. I just logged in to say that I can’t think of anything to say about this.

  5. I fucking hate both of you.

    Oh man, if I was on their friend’s list…

  6. friend list.

    Anyway, I have to wonder about couples that feel the need to obsessively boast to Facebook about how close they are. I assume there’s either one of two things up.
    1. They have a dull, boring, sexless relationship and are terrified of people finding out.
    2. They’re a pair of absolute aching great, hateful fucking bell-ends, and if either of them are reading this: FUCK YOU.
    3. All of the above.

  7. @BritishHobo … can I like your status ?

    on a serious, suicidal note … I now have a Justine Bieber song stuck in my head … thanks a lot, you scary, virginal douchebags !

  8. Go directly to hell. Do not collect 200 dollars.

  9. cuz baby. i love u baby! yo her name is kayla… not baby… as in.. there r other nicknames…

  10. @Sarbunn … you forgot to mention “do not procreate” THEN “do not collect 200 dollars” ;)

  11. Michael needs to get some man parts.

  12. lol @ wordy!

    double lol @ sarbunn!!

    honestly, i hope all the ‘babies’ were just one hell of a freudian slip, and he just really wants to fuck toddlers, because even that wouldn’t be as tasteless and massively emetic as that ridiculous exchange of blather.

  13. if I could type an incredulous stutter I would

  14. BAH! a pregnancy scare is so much more fun.

  15. Worst part: last comment by Michael with the option to ‘see more’. This makes me sad. So very sad.

  16. Baby baby baby Oooohh

  17. Dude…… just… er… umm…. yea! (hides in closet) ”are they gone yet”

    If i ever hear any couple be like that in front of me, i would chuck some heavy metal on and franticly mosh about right in the mist of their conversation just to ruin the ‘special moment’.

  18. baby: 25 times

  19. This makes me want to throw babies at them.

  20. dear god. kill them. kill them now. with a baby.

  21. Wading through the schmaltz (in hip waders no less)… I have to admit I’m not so disgusted to see two people who are still obviously in the head over heels adoration phase of their relationship.

    Definitely lame in it’s own over the top Care Bear Snooky Pants way… It beats the hell out wading through another nonsensical drama post spewed out in ebonics.

    And now that I’m done being nice, I have to add that I hate them both. No one loves me nearly that much.

  22. Guys, what’s the big deal here? They didn’t post this drivel to make us all vomit out our spleens unpurpose. It’s true love, baby.

  23. I feel like I regressed to being a two year old after reading that…and I just spit up all over the place.

  24. Somebody please shoot me ,yuk!

  25. knornstar – that’s your own fault for actually knowing a Justin Beiber song to get stuck in your head.

  26. I have to admit… the original post was kinda cute. It just went over the top way too quickly.

  27. OMFG. Fucking douchebags. And wtf is unpurpose???

  28. HORK

  29. I think they are trying to annoy other people too…

  30. yeeuuucchhhh…….. a little bit of sick just came up.

  31. @KyleM … Kinda happens when you have a 10 year old daughter that just won’t get in to slayer

  32. Oh baby, I think it might be a good idea, baby, if we don’t shoot up with saccharine anymore, baby. What do you think, baby? I don’t want to loose you for real, baby!

  33. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    It’s amazing the lengths some guys go to just to get some pussy.

  34. Ugh. That was way too long for me and my ADHD to actually read. What I did read made me puke in my mouth a bit… get a life.

  35. who in the hell talks like that Michael?? Who stole your cock and balls man? wtf!!?

    @Dukey it’s amazing that someone would think that load of pathetic drivel would get anyone laid.
    i’d just as soon stab myself in the snatch than have to have sex with someone like Michael.
    fucking barf!

  36. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    @Dirty little pretty, trust me lots of guys think saying these things will get them laid. Also lots of naive girls actually believe bullshit like this when they hear a guy say it. I don’t want to start a flame war, but it needs to be said that I believe this sort of scenario is how the myth of “Love” got created.

  37. Baby, posts like this make me so agree.

  38. What is it about people who post stupid lovey messages about having slow fiiiinggggerrrrrrs

  39. I can’t read this shit. People who post this crap publicly should be sterilised.

  40. 3 people like Michael’s comment? Really?!

  41. I think we’re meant to assume that at least one of those people is Michael.

  42. And another one is Kayla. Which leaves one observer liking it. That is one too many.

  43. Michael has no nuts and he really needs to come up with a better “pet name” for his girlfriend than saying “baby” at the beginning and end of every single goddamn sentence.

    They should make a joint Facebook account, just so he could publicly declare that she wears his testicles as a necklace.

  44. Michael is a brave new modern man, unafraid of displaying his emotions publicly, caring, attentive and above all loving.

    That said, my degree in criminal psychology tells me he is also a raging paedophile, intent on fucking babies to within an inch of their young lives.

    This can be deduced by his over use of the word, I

  45. @Dukey Smoothy Buns
    The myth of love? Love can be defined as the emotion of strong affection and personal attachment. You don’t believe that people actually feel strong emotions towards others and become attached to them?

    Dude, that “love-scepticism” is like atheism, but for retarts.

    @dirtylittlepretty
    Dukey is right in his first statement though. Some people do actually dig this. It’s all a matter of maturity though. You seem to be a reasonably mature lady, and are immune to this lovey-dovey-homo-dignityless dribble, but there are loads of younger and/or less mature girls who just melt to hear that stuff. They’ve only recently stopped playing with Barbies I presume…

  46. @Imamofo
    I hope you’re not lying…

  47. Michael spells “losing” “loosing” in his first diatribe. which makes him a fucking cunt bag.

    that is all

  48. Fuck me, I actually read all of that and now feel the urge to hurt things. A lot.

    @DukeGuy – “fucking cunt bag” is woefully understated.

  49. Am I the only one that read that as Scott Nguyen’s voice in my head, baby?

  50. @Paranoid Android – it was the harshest thing I could come up with at the time, baby.

  51. awww baby aawww baby, babe aww, oh aww baby babe baby aww oh baby babe what the??? I just… I… What…? Nothing. Vomit.

  52. Android, would ‘motherfu(king c^ck juggling thundercunt’ be better?

  53. Getting there, honestly don’t think there is a bad enough insult to describe this detriment to masculinity.

  54. @ Makster – Of course i’m not lying, i’m insulted that you may think of me as a dishonest person, do I give the impression that i may not always be completley truthful? lying about what by the way?

    @ Paranoid – hows’ about ‘scat drinking, faggoty, plumless, rim licking, scrotum of a weasel excuse for a man’ ?

  55. It should be made into a drinking game.
    Take a shot everytime he says Babe/Baby
    Alcohol poisoning FTW.

  56. Has anyone (more likely the females) ever heard the one theory that seems to float around that if a guy only ever calls you by a generic pet name, it’s likely because he has another girl (or boy) or more on the side?

    I vote for this to be a case of that. My cynical nature would be delighted by this much disgusting sappiness being because the guy’s saying similar things to multiple people at once.

  57. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    @Makster apparently you never seen any fucken chick flicks if that is your definition of love. If you are a guy then you are an inspiration to other guys. According to your definition, I love my phone, I love my car too, in fact I loved that pint of Stella so much that I wanted it inside me last night.
    The usual definition of love runs more like the bullshit above. A person saying things like “I will die if you leave me” is not “personal attachment” it is fucken psychotic is what it is.

    And fuck off with that retart shit, a healthy dose of skepticism is exactly what it takes to remain sane here.

  58. @ Makster – Of course i’m not lying, i’m insulted that you may think of me as a dishonest person, do I give the impression that i may not always be completley truthful? lying about what by the way?

    @ Paranoid – hows’ about ‘scat drinking, cunty, plumless, rim licking, scrotum of a weasel excuse for a man’ ?

  59. @Imamofo, that is just eloquent

  60. @Dukey – Indubitably … but i must confess to having to edit it somewhat as my first shot at goal was placed into moderation!

  61. @Imamofo
    Take a chill pill mate. I was asking if you were lying because I would be very disappointed if your deduction (which I thought was pretty cool) were not true. Relax…

    @Dukey
    Yeah, I’ve seen chick flicks, some of them are awesome, lol. Love can be experienced, like all emotions, in different levels. I love my car, I love my new jeans, I love The Expendables, etc. However, the love I have for my parents and my GF is way bigger. I’d be pissed if somebody wrecked my car, but I’d be completely and utterly devastated if my GF died. “I will die if you leave me” is, of course, an exaggeration, but the message is well delivered. You’d know this if you’d had your heart broken by somebody you were “really attached to personally”, or if you’d suffered the loss of a close family member. They hurt like a bitch.

    The definition for love that I used came from Wikipedia. Most dictionaries will say something similar I’m sure. The fact that many people misuse the word or sully it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist, or is a myth.

  62. @Makster
    “Yeah, I’ve seen chick flicks, some of them are awesome, lol”

    I stopped reading your comment after I saw this line. Having testicles while saying that line is the equivalent of starting a speech with “I think Hitler was a great man.” you have instantly discredited yourself and nothing you say can possibly be worth listening to. Unless of course you can convince me that you lost your balls after a sex change , or maybe you are a girl who got a sex change and went from Makia to Makster. (god knows Makia is not the weirdest name we have seen on LB)

  63. Kayla and Mike seem to be Justin Beiber fans.

  64. kayla and mike seem to be makster and his missus.

    jus’ sayin’.

    dukey – enjoying your comments as ever.

  65. @Dukey
    I appreciate your sense of humour. And also your ability to change the subject so flawlessly so as to not demonstrate how foolish you indeed are.

    I was trying to lighten up the mood with my comment about chick flicks. Obviously it was lost on you, and for that I apologise. In the future I will speak in a much more straight forward manner, so that you can follow clearly.

  66. Love you, Dukey.

  67. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    No problem Makster, it’s good to know your balls are still attached.

  68. Micheal is putting the pussy on a pedestal.

  69. if that’s the case he just put himself on a pedestal

  70. cause girl, you’re the only girl for me, girl! girl, you’re the girl of my fantasies, you’re my girl, you’re my girl my giiiirl…

    fingerbang!

  71. Brilliant, Dukey.

  72. This makes me want to puke on three cute furry rabbits.

  73. I’m thinking about making a drinking game outta this … every time he says “baby” you drink … who agrees? lol

  74. it would sure be a quick way to get drunk…

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