Thursday, January 7, 2010

Nobody Puts Baby In a Corner

NobodyPutsBabyInACorner

previous post: A Few More Quick Ones

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76 Comments

  1. She seems responsible.

  2. Ironic given that the baby will give her cunt a mauling *while* she has it.

  3. Im Canadian Also

    The best part of this: “*wen”

  4. … anyone wanna translate this to real english?

  5. I seriously have no idea what any of that said….was it in english? Or supposed to be? I am sad for the state of the american educational system.

  6. Damn. Ignorance has come full circle.

    *Wen

    The intentionally misspelled first comment has a misspelling in it, so there was another followup post added which corrected the incorrect misspelling with the correct misspelling.

    :facepalm:

  7. Jesus. You need a license for a dog, but they’ll let anyone have a kid.

  8. Translation:

    Rose: I don’t understand why so many people wish to engage in fisticuffs with me. However, should they insist, I would not normally hesitate to engage in battle with them. However, given that I’m currently with child, I feel it would be prudent to wait until I am no longer thus encumbered. Therefore, in 5 months time, I shall be looking to rejoin the fight, so they had best ready themselves before then.

    Bonnie: Indeed, after my niece or nephew is born, the people who wish to settle their differences with you through hand to hand combat will surely flee, as they will be too afraid of your delayed wrath.

    Rose: They most definitely won’t want to be anywhere near me when I am no longer pregnant, as I am becoming angrier by the day. I grow weary of their constant posturing, as they are clearly of an inferior social and economic class.

    Bonnie: I agree completely. They are not worth your time.

    Cara: I’ve read the conversation thus far, and I’m afraid I’m a little confused. Would you please inform me as to what this is all about?

    Rose: Some lower class African American females wish to fight me, presumably because I sometimes have difficulty controlling my emotions.

    Bonnie: You should make them urinate in their bloomers in sheer terror. After you deliver your precious bundle of joy, of course.

    Cara: Who wishes to engage you in such a brutish sport, and whatever for?

    Rose: I’m not familiar with their reasons for wanting such a thing. However, I will send you their names through private correspondence.

    Marae: By Jove, what on Earth is going on here?

    Rose: I intend to slay some lower class individuals after my child is born.

    Hope this helps.

  9. I want to stab everyone who types like that. Hard and many times. Ignorance (and not trying to learn) makes me so angry.

  10. Sensibe Madness just made my day!By Jove! HA

  11. sensible madness, that is the finest piece of english prose ever constructed. i salute you.

  12. The language used reads as though they are British, and Chav’s at that. Why does everyone always default to American? How PC is referring to a British Woman of color as African American?

  13. As an Englishman I’d confirm that they do indeed appear to be a sub-human mutant offshoot of the British population.

  14. If it makes you feel any better, you can replace “African American females” with “females of African descent”.

  15. Otto – that was my favorite part. Bonnie is a gem.

  16. I think the term “black” would actually be most appropriate, since not all people with that skin color are of African descent (Australian aboriginals, for example).

  17. What a beautiful translation for such vulgar bullshit.

  18. i can’t believe i actually wasted my time reading that whole line of bullshit.

  19. “*Wen”

    thanks for clearing that one up Bonnie, now it all makes perfect sense.
    *bangs head on desk*

  20. Thank you Sensible Madness, reading your translation back and forth with the original text the conflict makes more sense.

  21. I am kind of proud of my english when I read this.

    @(8) Sensible Madness : Cheers, that was brillant !

  22. This is Australian Aborigional slang. Unnuh is like saying hey or ay.

  23. Sensible Madness, you made me giggle!

  24. I thought they were American. Bonnie and Cara, etc don’t sound like typical British names.

    Thank you Sensible Madness. I hate them a little less in your translation

  25. fuckin sensible madness lmao!!! that was hilarious!

  26. This is definitely in Australian Aboriginal English. It’s been typed as they would say it.

  27. I’ve actually picked up on a couple of Jamaican slang phrases if that helps.

  28. oh wait, so *Wen, was to correct the misspelling above…it shouldn’t have been We it should have been Wen……oh that makes more sense now.

  29. Actually I should say it sounds like some of the girls I know around here that try to sound like they are Jamaican.

  30. Definitely Indigenous Australian….Unnah means “true” and is used for confirmation or emphasis.

  31. Bonnie and Cara don’t sound like typical African American names either. We have the Chevrolet, Laquisha and Bon Qui Qui variety here.

  32. Thank you, @sensible madness

  33. I’d agree with them being Aussie, but white bogans I’d say judging by their pixelated pictures, the use of the phrase “Blak cunts” and particularly the ‘dog’ epithet which is used over here as a vicious insult.

    But SensibleMadness, thank you that was great.

  34. GrammaticalErrors

    Sensible Madness….you have risen to new heights! brilliant!

  35. It’s the “whore-mones”.
    (not sure if she’s a whore or not, but I really wanted to use that pun somewhere.)

  36. It’s peasants like this who give all black people a bad name.

  37. hehe Sensible Madness, quite brilliant

  38. Longtime reader, first time poster. I <3 you Sensible Madness!! You finally made lamebook worth replying to!!

  39. Sensible madness, I heart you!!!!

  40. How about we settle on the term “Useless waste of life shitbags” and call it a day?

  41. @Sensible Madness – You’ve outdone yourself. Outstanding work. While reading your translation, I laughing so hard that I almost forgot my desire to stab Rose, Cara, and Bonnie (especially Bonnie) in the face.

  42. Sensible Madness, thank you for starting my day in an amazing way! That translation made it all so much clearer ^.^

  43. Rose isn’t doing it right by posting for the public to read something that only her closer friends can, but Bonnie made sure that the conversation is only between the two of them, and understood only by both (other than Sensible Madness. Thanks for that translation). So it’s not fair to (completely) hate them, they’re just posting in a language only they understand. We can call it… uh… inside language?

  44. Thanks Sensible Madness for translating what no decent english language respecting person should ever have to try and decipher

  45. Bonnie’s second comment is the funniest thing ever!

  46. Oh and Sensible Madness, you rock!

  47. “wat” and “wen” must be some lower bastardization of the english language. The fact that they both use it truly speaks to the teachings they received from their own parents.
    Ladies and gentlemen I give you the future of the human race. Now off to bang my head against the wall for an hour or so at the mere thought of this girl’s progeny.

  48. Rose likes to use the word Cunt quite a lot, which is ironic because in 5 months time it’s her cunt that’s going to be getting a kicking.

  49. I do not understand putting forth the immense effort to type in an accent. I’m from the American South; we are supposed to be the dumbest people on earth yet I don’t know anyone who taaps laak theeus yaawwl! Ah meyun, ahm havin da thank uhbout theus reel hawrd. These girls need to go play in traffic before any more of them get pregnant.

  50. I SWEAR TO GOD i know this girl , shes actually really responsible ( if infact it is her i know on my FB she had an ultrasound picture and her last name is Rose and that shes pregnat ) … now i rly wanna know if it is her. @_@

  51. I think it’s terribly sad that they already reproduced. Can someone shoot them in the head, please?

  52. The translation is brilliant!! Original & translation = the key to communication with other civilization. Great work @Sensible Madness!

  53. Antarctic Circle

    Just to add another voice to the growing chorus of approval, Sensible Madness (can I call you SM?), your translation effort is worthy of a standing ovation.

    Which is unfortunately not something we’re ever going to say of Team Rose & Bonnie.

  54. Big Wiggly Style

    ah….the gene pool continues to be diluted by imbeciles..

  55. Hehe Sensible Madness, I read that with a John Cleese accent which made it all the more amusing I think.

  56. #3 my thoughts exactly. I’m afraid #6′s clarifications were unnecessary

    #8 you win a million internets

  57. “i’m killing cunts when i have my baby”

    She has no idea how true that is… literally.

  58. Honestly I have to thank Sensible Madness, for if that wasn’t posted I would have no idea what was going on. I believe they should do that with all of the lamebook typos. Though i am glad I am probably the only 20 year old who didn’t get that.

    I feel bad for the child, and am angered as well for my kid will probably be made fun of by her kid who will be in the same grade as mine.

    PS I don’t have a kid yet. :]

  59. You rock Sensible Madness! That was awesome! :)

  60. Christ on a cracker

    Oh Sensible Madness, you’re so great! Will you have my baby? That’s if you’re a guy, but if you’re a woman it’s all good, we can lesbian sex too!

  61. Christ on a cracker

    * can have…

    LOL

  62. Sensible Madness, I had to register just to log in and tell you that I love you :D
    English is not my mother tongue, and when I came into Bonnie’s first comment I truly wondered for a while whether it was in some nordic language, like, say, Danish o_O
    but, SM, your translation made my day! ^^

  63. “I’M KILLING CUNTS WHEN I HAVE BABY”

    …best. quote. ever.

  64. bird.is.the.word.

    Sensible Madness: Pure genius;)

  65. Just want to give some additional praise to Sensible Madness. Awesome.

  66. @49 Wednesday – true! Nice work.

  67. Sensible Madness, I would marry you in an instant, if for no other reason than what I am sure would be exquisitely constructed wedding vows.

    Now all I need is to find a pedestal tall enough to put you on…

  68. By The Fuck…what the hell are these people talking about? And who on earth would allow this person to mother his child?

  69. I think in this case, expecting that Rose, Bonnie, and company were Americans was more an insult to Americans than a case of shortsightedness or ethnocentricity—since Americans know the pathetic state of our education system, we expected someone typing like that to be a product of it. So in an odd way, it was kind of a compliment to the English and Australians.

  70. Sensible Madness… you are a linguistic god amongst mere mortals of the verbal form.

    And does anyone else ever get the feeling that certain people (mentioning no names) should be culled for the betterment of humanity?

  71. Sensible Madness, you rock. (Although…bloomers?…really? LOL)

  72. Sensible Madness, you should publish a Lowest Class Denominator-Proper English Dictionary!

  73. canadian_girl_julia

    Okay people… I understand that their english or whatever the language is that they are trying to speak is a complete discrase! But hardly anyone even metioned the sheer horror that this woman is going to have a child! I certianly hope that someone else mothers this child and that they don’t let someone with such lack of knowledge and lack of judgement be trusted to bring up a child! What the hell will this woman be able to teach her child?! People like this are a complete embarassement to the human race and should be forced to become sterile so they can’t reproduce!!!!

  74. To canadian_girl_julia:
    Here we go: *disgrace, *mentioned, *certainly, (I’ll let you get by with *judgement, as it is a variant of judgment), and *embarrassment

  75. FYI – this is Australian Aboriginal lingo…from Perth Western Australia. ‘Nyoongar’ is the tribe. You people are wrong to assume they are white from pixelated images. Words like ‘Boodj’ (meaning pregnant) and ‘Unnuh’ are only spoken by Aboriginal people from this area (some of whom may be fair skinned). So is not in fact bad English, and the whole thing must be taken at least partially in jest. She’s just letting off steam! Good to see the people using their language and preserving it online :)

  76. She’s isn’t pregnant in the face….

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