Tuesday, February 2, 2010

New Kid on the Chopping Block

previous post: Right and Wrong



  1. Oh wow that sucks

  2. Moms these days…

  3. He deserves it! Why on earth you added your mom?
    I have a feeling that we are going to have more FBK’s news from “sweet boy” on Lamebook, hahahaha

  4. I like to think that Mom has a sadistic streak and is giving the ultimate lesson in How-to-embarrass-your-kids.

  5. But WHY have all those people added him as a friend if they don’t know who he is? They are lame.

  6. Poor guy…

  7. Bwahahaha. Now that’s a good LB entry.

  8. I would like it if his surname was Marx.

  9. awwww….I feel bad for Carl.

  10. Poor Carl. His mother is an idiot!!
    I’m on my kids’ facebook, but no matter what I see, I never ever post shit that will embarrass them or undermine them on their own page.
    Carl’s mother is really stupid. She couldn’t ask him while they were sitting at the table eating? She had to ask on his page, where everyone would see it?

    As if she didn’t know that calling him ‘sweet boy’ would set him up for teasing.

  11. I agree with Madrid on fire. If you don’t want your family talking to you on facebook, don’t add them.

  12. awwwwwww

    I would be sweetboy’s friend

  13. and this is why I will NEVER EVER have my parents, uncles, aunts etc on my facebook friends list :)

  14. @#10 Same with my mom. I think it has to do a lot with how ‘internet-savvy’ the parent is. If they’re retarded and new they’re gonna embarrass their kids.

  15. I am so glad my mom is not retarded. Maybe it is because I am an adult, but my mom is one of the more funny and entertaining commenters of my fb friends. Also, my mom could totally beat up Carl’s mom.

    In any event, I feel bad for Carl even if he is a little creepster. His classmates shouldn’t have added him back though if they did not know who he was. Odd. Glad that facebook came about during my college years rather than my high school years. Rather than a vehicle for me to have gotten made fun of with in high school, it is a vehicle for me to see how unsuccessful and overweight the classmates who picked on me in high school got. Score 1 for the underdog!

  16. It’s his own stupid fault for adding a bunch of people he doesn’t know. Adding random people on Facebook is not the way to make real-life friends, but it’s a great way to end up on lamebook.

  17. man i feel bad for this kid… lets just hope we dont hear about carl on the news…

  18. @Sensible Maness: You are right, as usual. Analizing the “adding random people” crazy thing from him, you can understand his mom. They deserve each other.

  19. Please stop making fun of me. I already got bullied at school because of this.

  20. Carl, the only way to make friends is by putting out.

  21. Wow, #15. As an adult you should know that the R word is not to be thrown around and used like that.

    Besides, there are millions of mentally challenged people who are a hundred times smarter than Carl’s mother. Don’t insult them.

  22. Carl (if that really is you): you just have to take it in your stride. Surely you can see the funny side of it? Laugh it off.

  23. @Carl: Not only at school, here as well. But think about this: you are lucky that Ben has disappeared from here. That would have been worse!

  24. Poor kid. I would NEVER do that to either of my sons! How did his mom think this would not effect her son negatively? I have both of my parents on my FB they’ve yet to show this level of ignorance about social situations, even though they both aren’t as informed about social structure as most people are.

  25. It’s not your fault that your mother isn’t smart enough not to say damaging things on your facebook.
    It would be a great idea to delete her.

  26. Hey Carl, always look on the bright side of life. Now, you are WELL KNOWN at school. Good for you ;)

  27. Don’t worry about the bullies, Carl. Just look, some of them are not even capable of spelling three letter words.
    I’m sure you can come up with a way to defeat someone like that.

  28. Poor Carl, kids can be so mean. They shouldn’t have accepted his friend invite if they didn’t know him. But then again, his mom totally embarrassed him.

  29. Carl’s mother ought to be dragged behind a screen and shot. Carl should be set adrift in an open boat, far out to sea.

  30. There are two ways to handle a situation like this: embrace it or ignore it. If you want to ignore it, remove all those people you don’t know from your friends list, and don’t react when people call you that name. If everyone sees they aren’t getting any reaction out of you, they’ll eventually get bored and leave you alone, and you’ll fade back into obscurity.

    If you choose to embrace it, you should start calling yourself that name. Tell your teachers you want to be called “sweet boy carl”, or just “sbc” or something, when they ask what name you go by. Have t-shirts made up, and wear them. Shave “SB” into the back of your head. If you play it right, you could be the most popular kid in school. Of course, you’ll probably be mocked mercilessly at the beginning, but if you stick with it you’ll end up ahead.

    Which path to take depends on what you want the end result to be, and how much abuse you’re willing to take on the way there. The worst possible thing you can do is to get upset and tell people to cut it out…that’s like running from the cops with a dozen donuts stuck to your ass.

  31. @Flip: I peed myself!!! hahahaha

  32. Why did he add all these poeple without knowing them?

    I would like to actually meet people before I add them

  33. @cynic: because stupidity is everywhere, specially in 14 to 16 years old.
    I am trying to figure it out how he could add all these people, where did he get names from classmates he hasn’t have already. He is mentally wrong… I bet he is an stalker!

  34. @cynic

    I’m assuming he just looked up the “network” for the new school (high school or college) that he’s going to and just started adding people. It’s done all the time. I’ve seen my friend’s pages explode with “new friends” whenever a school year starts. I’m sure the other people that accepted his friendship thought the same thing.

    There’s nothing weird about that at all. However, his mom probably feels horrible, which she definitely should.

  35. that’s just hilarious

  36. It seems to me that most people on facebook have never met most people in their ‘friends’ list. Who in the hell has 1500 friends? They’ve never met most of them.

  37. @Madrid… when people get accepted to a new high school or college, they sometimes add themselves to that school’s network… making them “searchable”. I think facebook would even allow people to add only freshman/same age students. Or maybe he looked on page snippits to see ages and added the same age students.

    Again, I’ve seen this done numerous times and I see nothing “out of the ordinary” about it and he’s definitely not a “stalker” just because he added a half dozen names to facebook.

  38. That makes me kinda sad. Poor kid. =(

  39. Our world is so backwards.

  40. why the hell did brett add him if he didnt know him? If carl plays it right, “sweet boy” can work.

    And mom, you live in the same house. You can always just talk in person.

  41. Sweet boy sounds like a porn name. Carl should work it.

  42. Carl’s mom is a royal bitch. First she names the poor kid Carl, then she does this to him!? What kind of mom does this to her kid?? That’s just so wrong. The other kids probably wouldn’t have even said anything if she wouldn’t have posted. She sucks.

  43. this why you dont add parents on facebook

  44. @mcowles: thanks, now I undertand how he could do it.

    I think it is very unsafe to add people you don’t know, even when you are going to meet and share lots of time with them. It should be like the old times: you know someone, become your friend and then add him/her to your social site. Well, my opinion.

  45. @Ugh

    You’re right. SweetBoy is an improvement on Carl, if anything

  46. ThinkingInPictures

    Aw, that’s kinda sad. I feel bad for Carl, kids who think they’re cool can be really mean. Then again, I’ve always been a bit of a “collector of strays” and I usually root for the underdog.

    When it comes right down to it, the damage is done, now you deal with it. Sensible Madness is right, you don’t tell people to stop and show that they’re getting to you.

    Also, not everyone lives in the same house with their mom… and not all members of the older generation quite understand that stuff like FB isn’t private. Lay off the dude’s mom. He’s the one that added her.

  47. Sweet boy is such a terrible attempt at a nickname, too. It’s just a bland adjective pinned to a gender.

  48. Ok so as much fun as this was to read…I enjoy the comments people post way more! lol..
    and for the record…Carl could have added his mom…she might not have added him.
    I agree its kind of lame, but kind of cute at the same time…
    Sweet boy will be the new nickname I’m sure…
    but how can you be a creeper when you send out a friend request someone confirms…if they don’t know you why would they say yes??
    Just sayin’

  49. Lilac, you’re right on both reasons.
    And I should have said “retarted” anyway.

  50. ‘Sweet Boy’ isn’t the worst nickname Carl could’ve ended up with…

  51. Exactly what I was thinking Th3_G. LOL

  52. hahaha lessons learned the hard way. THINK cretins!

    for a start, these days fb makes it easy for you to hide all sorts of stuff from friend lists, so your mam never need know about all the shit you get up to, even if she is your fb friend.

    and secondly, yeh brett must be retarded too – “dude, who the fuck are you and why did you add me sweet boy?” – it takes TWO to “make friends”, fucken idiot

  53. Super Nintendo Chalmers

    I just shaved “SBSNC” on the back of my head.

  54. Awww – I laughed but I feel bad for him.
    Hopefully he can play it off all cool like and turn the situation around.
    I don’t have an issue with my parents on Facebook (thought neither of them are on there) but I would set my privacy levels to a different thing and set guidelines.

    And hey – adding people on facebook before starting somewhere is a good idea. It’s easier to break the ice online often.

  55. I think it’s insane for a male between the age of 14 (or whatever age you need to be to be on Facebook) and 30 to have their parents as friends. Otherwise your guy friends can’t be trusted not to be complete wieners.

    finally – agreed. Maybe Brett wants some sweet lovin’ from sweet boy.

    That nickname will probably get Carl laid before the week is up.

  56. hehe the poor sod , just at your new school and mommy mocking things up for you. That’s just uncalled for.

    My mom is on my facebook but she is pretty cool and if her making lame comments on my facebook enables my friends to be the royal pricks that they are , well then it is for a good cause.

    Parents and their cyber concerns , it is nice to feel less out of touch sometimes.

  57. hahaa pwned by mom

  58. This is obviously fake. This is from GTA San Andreas. Carl is Carl Johnson CJ, Sweet is his brother and the mom is dead, that’s why CJ got to the new school of gangstas and made friends there.

  59. dawnofthedeadling

    That’s not lame, that’s sad.

  60. #58: I think you read too much into this. Once CJ’s mother was murdered, he left but he came back when he saw fit and he joined back with his “old school of gangstas”. CJ didn’t make new friends when he went back to Grove St. but he had to know people who knew people in San Fierro and all that business. Yes, CJ’s brother’s nickname was “Sweet” but this post has nothing to do with Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. This is clearly just an overbearing, yet loving mother posting on her son’s page. You read waaaay too far into that.

  61. good thing this is fake, it’d be so sad if it was real; sadder still: being named Carl!

  62. Hahahahahahahahahahaha at Mikaubodom !!!

  63. Aww, I really feel sorry for this kid.

    And I don’t know why people think it’s so weird. I think it’s a pretty cool way to get to know people before they start school. It’s a shame kids are so fucking immature.

  64. NB: Yeah, I know, don’t point it out.

  65. Why do people accept a friendship invitations of someone and only after that start to ask who he is?

  66. Fake, for a few reasons.

    First, don’t you think all submissions with posts from a kid’s mom that are signed “Mom” are fake? Because Carl doesn’t already know Mary is his Mom, she has to sign it?

    Second, all the names are simple, unimaginative, and white: Mary, Carl, Don, Greg, etc.

    Third, the entire scenario is from a Malcom in the Middle episode. Though the encounter with his mother happened IRL at the school, and he was nicknamed Stain.

  67. You know, Fungoid, I really hate people like you.

    First, you call everything out as being fake. Even if it is, who cares? It’s still really hilarious.

    Second, your name is unoriginal and unfunny. I ran into three Fungoids on my way to the store today. That’s five minutes away!

    Third, you watched Malcolm in the Middle.

  68. Fungoid, it very well may be fake for other reasons I don’t care about, but my mother used to sign “Love, Mom” to instant messages and Facebook posts.

  69. This is grounds for mom’s removal.

    I’ll never understand why Moms on facebook feel the need to publicly embarass their children. I’m glad my mom isn’t like that.

  70. The whole “NEVER have your mum on FB” is a bit ridiculous. Maybe it’s because I am, you know, an ADULT, I don’t think the fact that your mother loves you is ‘ like ZMG the most totally embarrassing thing evar, lol’
    Yes, the problem is with the mother, and not the fucking idiotic bullies.
    Having said that, don’t go around and add a whole bunch of people you don’t know.

  71. Either the mom is incredibly dumb or just callous. I would NEVER do anything like that to my kid!

  72. Stupid parents. Stop trying to be your kid’s friend and get your own already.

  73. mary is an idiot. i hate her.

  74. Hang on. They still needed to accept him as a friend on facebook. So they just add first and ask who later?

  75. @ 67.Vlamenni: that was very funny.

    I love to embarrass my kids, I do it all the time. Whats the point of having kids if you cant laugh at them?

  76. @spanka: Ha haaa! I almost want kids now, just to embarrass the little beggars every chance I get. Almost. *shudders at the thought*

    “Sweet boy”? Poor Carl, but it could have been so much worse… Now, “Sugarnipples” has teenage angst and much bullying written all over it… Mwahahaha!

  77. worst_episode_ever

    this was very, very funny. me like. the mom is obviously retarded, she signs her post -Mom. even though it says her name right there. god, poor carl../

  78. “Sweet Boy’s” mom sounds like she attended the Rosanne Barr school of the maternal arts.

    Sort of like the episode of Malcomb in the Middle where Malcomb’s mom is there for his first day of HS and reams him about a stain on his pants in front of everyone on the quad. Poor little dude.

  79. @msjessiemeghan
    I don’t care how old you are: If you ascribe your mom to the “more funny and entertaining commenters”, then you either have a messed up parental fixation or some really shitty FB friends.

  80. @A whole bunch of people above (I don’t feel like including all of your names).

    The rudeness of “the other kids” is neither Carl’s fault nor his mother’s fault. Carl’s approach is common for students first entering school. Flaming another student because of something his mother says is just ridiculous and juvenile.

  81. Carl, don’t worry. You still have Sheen and Jimmy. And llamas. And Mrs. Neutron.


  82. lol @freezit4 most especially llamas

  83. About Carl’s post.. isn’t it stupid of Bret to ask “who the fuck are you and why did you add me” When the answer is already obvious?

  84. Has Carl met any of the little punks who left the posts? Bet they aren’t so mean in person. Keep yer chin up Carl.

  85. LAST!!!

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