Monday, November 9, 2009

NephEWWW

nephEW

previous post: Wareing Me Out

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63 Comments

  1. Jackie is just dripping at the prospect.

  2. hahaha, why would anyone make this their status update???
    really?

  3. Now we know why he’s single.

  4. or it was one of his mates

  5. I always get suspicious when these replies say “this is your aunt Jackie” or “this is your mother”. Surely they KNOW who it is, why would they write it out on Facebook?

  6. haha thats got to be his mate on his status

  7. SEVENTH!

  8. Fake as fuck.

  9. From the time he posted I’m guessing he was drunk and wrote it himself or was drunk logged on and then passed out and got facebook raped.

    On the subject of Facebook rape though do you think gay guys go on their mate profile and write things like ‘I LOVE PUSSY’?

  10. @Tidy,

    No, they just upload photos of little girls onto their Facebook under albums titled ‘Hotties’

  11. @5 You’d be surprised what happens when you combine certain old people with computers. My own aunt JUST left me a comment on one of my pictures and it started out with “This is your Aunt Alice…” as if I couldn’t see her name right next to her post. My mom also signs after every comment “love, mom.” I don’t see this happening on my friends pages, I guess my family is just special.

  12. what is up with old people on facebook anyway?
    don’t they have classmates.com?
    :)

  13. She’s probably wondering which side of the family blessed him so.

  14. My grandma added me on facebook. :(

  15. Judging from the pixels, Beau’s profile pic is someone giving the camera the middle finger.

    Nice kid, this Beau.

  16. LOL @ #14.

    It’s not uncommon to see computer challenged family members to say “This is your aunt, uncle..”

  17. Oh man, whats his number? wait, no. Just no.

  18. What’s even funnier is the fact this kid calls himself ‘Beau’ (French for ‘Handsome’, since he is a man).

  19. @18…..if it were “beautiful” then it wouldnt make sense if he was a man. Pay attention.

  20. @19: Beauty crosses lines of gender. “Beau” is a masculine adjective.

  21. Beau is Aunt Jackie’s NILF.

  22. And I’m pretty sure someone else calls him that. That’s his name. Chances are, he didn’t choose it. I’ve known many Beaus. Or Bo, if it’s a dog.

  23. Beau is short for Beauregard you bunch of doofus’

  24. I actually know Beau and Aunt Jackie… they grew up near me.

    This was from 2 1/2 months ago (lamebook must be backlogged). Beau confided in me that after this status/comment, the two of them had a pretty awkward private chat. However, by the end, they had decided to get coffee, which let to more talking.

    Long story, short, they ended up having very awkward sex once, followed by very non-awkward sex ever since then. She’s been “fixed”, so there’s nothing to worry about, in case you’re all about to go ballistic on the fact that they’re now lovers.

  25. @Weighed

    I believe it’s doofuses.

  26. Fake I know these idiots.

  27. @boom

    I believe it’s actually doofi.

  28. This would’ve been more entertaining and less fake if it said “Jackie likes this”, haha.

  29. Could someone tell how much is 9 inch in human measures? Like cm please!

  30. Foreinger: it’s about 20-23 cm :P

  31. @Loveline I think it’s just three guys, and the one in the middle, probably Beau, is shirtless.

  32. This should make Thanksgiving dinner interesting.

  33. I’ve got a friend named Beau, and it’s not short for Beauregard, or Beau-anything. Just Beau. He doesn’t have an Aunt Jackie though, thank god. lol

  34. Is Pussy Monster part of the cast of the adult sesame street?

    “Me want pussy, om nom nom nom!!!”

  35. I love Nine Inch Nails too!

    This post is about Nine Inch Nails, right?

  36. Noelle – it’s not just your family, my mom does the same thing. AND SHE LIKES TO TYPE IN CAPS. Moms.

  37. Poor Auntie Jackie!!!! =/

  38. My nephew recently took the “how big is your penis?” test and both myself and his mother had complaints to make, although neither of us had to remind him of our relationship to him. Maybe we’re just really cool grown ups…?

  39. No wonder he is single. Good luck to you pussy monster. ¬¬

  40. It looks fake, but I saw a guy, who is named after his dad, have his dad comment on his page and his dad signed it with “[first name] sr.”

  41. @mcowles

    touché!

  42. @Pink

    What kind of complaints? Something like “If you’re that big, then why is my husband so small?”

    But seriously, what kind of complaints? Was it just that he shouldn’t have taken that test in the first place? lol

  43. Sadly, this is real. Step-Aunt, but same difference.

    @ Tidy:

    You’re right, he was passed out and a friend changed it!

  44. Frape!

    That said, if it was my nephew I’d definitely not be saying anything! Though his father, mother, Uncle, other Aunt and Grandmother are all on his friends list, so he’d probably get the piss ripped out him for it.

  45. Beau is french for pretty lol

  46. Also, I’m going to go ahead and point out here that somebody having a stupid name isn’t reason to believe they’re stupid. I understand when it’s in conjunction to them doing something stupid, it’s different, but the name itself means nothing except there parent’s having what you consider bad taste.

    Example: A girl I go to school with is named “Angel”. Honestly, I kind of scoffed at that (internally) at first (like the girl my boyfriend knows, named Princess), but she’s a very, very intelligent, eloquent and very sweet girl. It’s just . . . her parents named her Angel. I expect if any one of these stupid posts had the name Angel, it would be commented upon. But the fact is, that doesn’t really mean very much.

    Beau is a male’s name I’ve heard quite often.

  47. @ Quitit

    Fuck off. It’s lamebook. Get a life.

  48. @ Claire

    Excellent.

  49. Jackie : FTW!!!

  50. Beau is nine inches? Maybe he should date a Barbie…

  51. Mind you… if his friends had really waited til he passed out and changed his status for him wouldn’t they be more likely to make it smaller than 9 inches?

  52. 9″ is average in my family. lemme know if you want a pic

  53. LMAO… thanks Don, I think I’ll pass ;)

  54. Meh. Once you’ve seen the “hey I’m an older member if your family and I’m shocked at what is going on here” posts it’s tough to repeat the magic. Nothing tops ” spots in the backseat and that black guy.”

  55. @Tooty

    “Nothing tops ” spots in the backseat and that black guy.””

    Where’s that? I’m in need of a laugh.

  56. Back several pages. Can’t remember the name. I’m sure someone here can recall the title

  57. hmm nine inches. i wonder if he needs help still… eh sorry

  58. Can’t I call you the Monster Pussy instead?

  59. Thesaurapist 13(F)

    I have twelve inches. But I don’t use it as a rule.

  60. What? Never? You must be fit to explode!

  61. On a related topic, has anyone else had the “Big Ass Hot Dog” Ad on their side-banner? It’s positioned right in front of the guys pants… thought it was rather apt considering the way the conversation has gone.

  62. *smacks forehead* D’oh. I just got your joke Thesaurapist. I look like a right spanner now. LOL

  63. @62 Hahahaha spanner! Libertiiiinesssss

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