From the makers of the ShamWOW and the Clapper, comes the next greatest invention to sweep the nation. The Chinease*!
Are you ever at home watching tv or playing World of Warcraft on your computer and you get sick and tired of holding your head up? It’s heavy and useless and you already have enough to think about, instead of worrying about whether or not your head is upright.
This simple tool straps around your chest and has two chrome-plated bars extending from the front. They attach to a Chin-Cozy which holds your head erect for hours on end, without you having to use any muscles at all!
The next time you are raiding on WoW and your healer lets you die, because he was too busy playing to remember to hold his head upright, tell him about Chinease!
Brooklyn’s Nanna is a horrible person for raping those poor presents. On Christmas Eve, I like to turn the lights down low, light a fire in the fireplace, put on some Barry White and pour a glass of red wine. Then I make sweet, sweet love to the Christmas presents.
Mcowles I keep falling asleep while driving.
Is your Chinease adaptable for safe operation of a motor vehicle?
I also have several chins – does this mean I need more Chineases or do you have some sort of adapter available?
You’re in luck! If you order now, you’ll not only get a Chinease**, with an operator manual and a coupon book with coupons valued at over $500, you’ll also get this car adapter!!!! The car adapter allows the Chinease to plug into any standard car cigarette lighter, in order to help keep you awake. How would that work, you may ask?
Well, I’ll tell you how!
When enough pressure is applied to the Chinease, in “car mode”, a jolt of electricity is sent through the Chin-Cozy, helping to “motivate” the driver into staying awake and alert! No more 5-hour energy drinks or eating dozens of gummi worms needed, with this simple car adapter!
And if you buy two Chineases today, we’ll throw in this Double-Chin Connector piece AND a free vegetable chopper! Make your friends think that you’re finally getting your life back on track and eating/drinking healthy vegetables! The chrome design of this vegetable chopper keeps dust away longer, so that even though you’ll never use it, it’ll look like you do!*
* Vegetable chopper comes with orange tint to the inside, to make people think you’ve made dozens of carrot smoothies.
The empty throne sitting next to me in this vast Chinease empire is yours for the taking. You only need to say the word. Hmmm, which you already have, I guess. I will buy you anything/everything that you could ever want. I will buy you the world! (As long as it has easy monthly payments, of course.)
Cold Mushy Pees, hmmm. Are those to help cool you down, when you’re too busy to get to the bathroom and too hot to hold it in?
I think I’ll wait until I get home from work, to click on a random tinyurl from this site… no offense, haha.
i dont see anything wrong with Brooklyn’s, Lucy is prob just really young and/or immature, but alexis… i dont understand why that would make her mad… like my FB friend made an update saying ‘dont be friends with me if youre friends with my enemy’ and im like ‘you dont have mutual friends…?’