Thursday, August 5, 2010

Motherly Love

previous post: Care to Share?

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183 Comments

  1. .

  2. I’m curious as to Christy’s home life. I imagine a fat man dressed in a Winnie the Pooh costume, kept in a crate in the basement getting released for special occasions.

  3. i wish mother nature would unleash some furries on me. i’ve tried everything – charm, roofies, pretending to be in a band….

    it’s been a while. :’-(

  4. Wait, Mother Nature? Crap, I thought it just said Mother.

  5. Awkward moment there for Linda :D

  6. Have you heard…. The bird is the word! (Starts dancing)

  7. Is she saying Jesus gives good head?

    And what’s a “peroid”?

  8. seriously though, how many people think alordlsums is a massive douchebag for gettin all freaked out by the fact some truckers used his ‘catchphrase’ he wrote liek 8 posts about it hahahahah hes liek a 30 year old man but he was well sad about it ahahah and was like bitching liek omg everyone!!look at me i did it first pls give me recognition!! what a fag

  9. Ah yes, the special day for women when they have to shed the endometrial lining of their uterus. A special day indeed….

  10. gayisgay, I never correct people’s spelling, grammar etc., as I fuck up regularly, but mate, I’m going to call it on you.

    Now take note – it’s *like, not liek, ok. Got it, brother? Like like like like like like like, and once more in case you haven’t got it, it’s like.

    Like.

  11. my <3 is taken by a trucker!

    'seriously though', this guy is like yoink without the personality. surely the only thing in the known universe lamer than making the lame comments i usually muster is the person who has taken it upon himself to comment on my lame comments. QED.

    i'm sure i'm not the only one on here praying for the end of school holidays.. :-s

  12. alord, something tells me he’s not a schoolboy. And for mine, that makes it a whole lot worse.

  13. gayisgay, I’ll take back one of my likes seeing as though you’ve managed to spell it correctly on one occasion.

  14. he’s a complete plonker and he’s attaching my name to himself >:-(
    it’s like having your favourite football team sponsored by vagisil. >:-(

  15. I’d love to know what it is exactly that has him having daggers for you.

  16. But I said it earlier. I reckon actually he loves you.

  17. hahahahaha you said plonker! wtf is wrong with you lol at least say liek fuckbum or somethin, wait even that is gay, u should jus say wanker

  18. word – potential groupie…? maybe i should reassess?

  19. Absolutely. The crush just gets bigger by the minute.

  20. well if it’s true i’m sorry anon, but

    my <3 is taken by a trucker.

    (sorry, couldn't resist) :D

  21. He’s definitely from the UK somewhere, so he’s nice and close for you, alord.

    I’m jealous.

  22. “it’s like having your favourite football team sponsored by vagisil. >:-(”

    that would be HILARIOUS.

  23. Vagisil FTW.

  24. Why is the first one on here? It’s not even a Facebook thing, it’s text messaging on an iphone.

    Has Lamebook incorporated with Texts From Last Night or something?!

  25. @Ratcoonlover

    If you looked correctly, you would see that Taja has posted it to their facebook..

  26. Ahhh I see.

    I think all the Jesus talk was making my eyes water.

  27. Nothing to see here, move on…

  28. Yup, alord. I think you do have a groupie. I can feel the ‘ponytail tugs’ from here!

  29. eenerbl, love the link!! you especially should sympathise with me at a time like this!

    damn stockers!

  30. Why does she sound like a zombie, or someone who’s been possessed? I can only hear her post in a creepy monotone… ‘I love you son… please come to church with me…’

  31. I’ve had my share that’s for sure alord, you have no idea! At least you know your admired, even if it’s in a creepy way. Well, maybe not, but still.

    Ya know British, I never looked at it that way, but you’re right! It’s like the opening monologue to a creepy religious based horror movie.

  32. ee, I do like the sound of “unleashing your furry” It sounds kind of sexy.

    Not too furry, though.

  33. I’m trying to figure out how unleashed furries are linked to peroids, but I just can’t wrap my head around it.

  34. It does sound sexy. “Come here baby, lets unleash your fury.” Yup, definitely sexy.

  35. word, I’ve run out of wine! What should I go for? I’ve got Vodka, Tequila, and Wisely. Any suggestions?

  36. I’m gonna butt in and suggest TEQUILA!

  37. For mine, ee, the choice would always be vodka – with maybe a tiny bit of soda, and plenty of lime, ok.

    Tequila just gets me into trouble.

  38. “Unleash the Furry” was a great porn movie back in the ’70s before all this shaving nonsense that goes on today got started.

    @eenerbl sounds like screwdriver time.

  39. teo, kinda like a bearded clam?
    I don’t have O.J., all I have is apple juice, I don’t know what I cold do with that.

    nuff, you know I adore you, but that just gets me into trouble. I mean BIG trouble. I’d love to share details with you, but that would require a one on one setting.

    word, I’ve got all ingredients, and I need a drink. I might go for that. Or maybe a Bloody Mary.

  40. ee, I’ll tell you a funny story that happened to me today…

    I was out and about, and I was walking across this driveway when this dude on a bike stopped to let me pass. Nice bike, nice leathers, all real cute and that (I have a thing for leathers). Anyway, he said hello to me and then all of a sudden… he fell off his bike!, and then the bike fell on top of him!

    I didn’t know what to do or say – I was just kind of dumbstruck (and laughing).

    And then we had sex.

    Well, no, we didn’t, but I told someone else about it, and they suggested the story could be embellished that way to make it extra funny.

    I just thought it was funny the way it was. See? I have super powers. I can not only stop the traffic, I can fuck with it as well.

  41. And a Bloody Mary sounds good. What do you say? Liquid breakfast of champions or something?

  42. That was a great story! You should write a book about it, I know a great book designer! Yay for sex and leather!

    I opted for the Bloody Mary, out of my grandmothers highball glass, with…a bendy straw. Yup, I have class. (the straw is yellow, and is awesome!)

  43. I vote with the nuff ee. Tequila at anytime.

  44. I suggest Jose Cuervo.

  45. Dukey, you know I adore you too, but definitely not! What if I pass out on my keyboard mid post? Or take a web cam picture with me naked? See, bad things can come about.

  46. “And then we had sex” makes the ending of any story better. Except Twilight, because perfection cannot be improved upon by definition.

  47. It’s not Jose, it’s Jerraduara. I don’t know what brand that is, but some fool left it in my freezer, which means it’s mine now. But still, it’s staying there! Don’t tempt me!

  48. Like you, ee, I’ve done very, very, bad things after drinking tequila.

  49. And this is not the place to discuss them. We have other ways, though, don’t we, my love?

  50. wordy, Bloody Mary; it’s not just for breakfast now! I enjoy them any time of day, and because it’s considered a breakfast drink, guilt free. Healthy even, what with all those veggies.

    Or,ee, you could do Sangritas. All the fixins of a Bloody Mary, but with tequila in place of vodka. Delish.

  51. crap. basic html fail. :(

  52. Yeah, I hear ya!

  53. You’ve inspired me to break out the Absolut, ee. I’ve just finished a beer. I shall join you in some Russian nectar.

  54. word, yes we do!

  55. Miss She, where the fuck have you been woman? I have missed you terribly. I know, I know, you’re dating someone, right? Girls always disappear when they’re dating. I hate that.

  56. Is it just my eyes, or are we all big and bold now?

  57. I don’t know what we’re yelling about!!! LOUD NOISES!!!

  58. Ahahahahaha!

  59. We are big and bold. I thought it was just me and the mix of wine and vodka.

    word…check your inbox.

  60. wordy, darling, I’ve missed you too!

    Truly no new dating – it’s been a dime with the same bloke now. Just oodles of work, and home projects.

    Stupid responsibility, ruining my fun, and making life boring… Drinking does help alleviate the monotony a bit, though. ;D

  61. I looked down and checked, ee, and it doesn’t look any different – nothing has been unleashed… yet.

  62. Give it time word, it’s got a sea to cross. :)

  63. ee, you forgot to add the bad things you did when you added comment #45

  64. Fair enough, Miss. I’ll forgive your absence. This time. Love you regardless.

    I’m freaking out here. It’s like teo said. It looks like we’re all shouting at each other. Ha.

    I’m not sure if this booze will make it better or worse.

  65. [/B] Did this work? Meh.

  66. You’re right, Buns. Where are the actual bad things on ee’s list?

  67. Silly, wordpervert, booze always makes it better!

  68. And Miss Shegas just wrecked Lamebook comments section, this is like that scene in Barbarella where she wrecks the orgasmatron that was supposed to kill her with orgasms.

  69. I tried that too, teo.
    Weird coding hiccup somewhere, I suppose.

  70. Do you really want to know the bad things? Seriously? This could leaded our bolded conversations to new depths!

  71. Yes please, ee. With word on top.

  72. Deep is always good.

  73. word, any inbox action?

  74. Oh, Dukey! You attribute such powers to me… On the other hand, if I missed a closed bracket, and effed it all up… Sorry kids, my bad. :(

    Now, if I could get my hands on an orgasmatron – that would be real power!

  75. As long as we don’t somehow end up in Facebook’s pirate language, I’m fine with the bold text.

  76. word, are you my new cherry? That’s good, I lost mine a while back, not that I need a new one, but you are tasty!

  77. Are you sending me the War and Peace of picture montages, ee?

    Nothing is happening? Check your outbox, lover.

  78. I wish it was that exciting word, but no. I dunno, it shows up as sent, but it’s taking it’s time I guess. Just keep an eye open. I fear it’s lost the humor it had a few min ago. I tried though, I really did. :(

  79. If anyone is interested, I want an orgasmatron for Christmas.

    As much as I’d like to be pillaged right at this moment, yes, I can live with the bold, but not with pirate.

    ee, you have ANY doubt I’d be tasty? Shame on you.

  80. @teo I don’t mind pirate language if one of these wenches decides to get ‘on top’.

  81. Maybe I need to send you something to make sure we’re still connected, ok?

    Give me a sec…

  82. I know your sweet and tasty, and will make my lips pucker. I’d want non other to be ontop by dear!

  83. test [B/] testing test

  84. It’s on its way, ee. Let me know.

  85. [B]test[/B] /B]

  86. [i] want to make this look completely ridic[u]lous

  87. testing ] test test

  88. Miss She, I don’t know. The more I drink, the bigger the text seems to get.

  89. ok I will stop now I’m too drunk for HTML programing ok, one more [p] test

  90. [i]test [/i] test

  91. I’m with ya there word, it looks huge! It’s the vodka, it’s the vodka, it’s the vodka, right? Or else I really need to go to bed!

  92. It’s all your fault, Miss She! It happened during your comment. I’m gonna have to come after you with that orgasmatron, myself.

  93. word, still waiting for it. But it’s got a lot of servers to bounce around. That settles it, we’re just too far apart :(

  94. Word, I would be surprised if there was anything left of the orgasmatron after you finished with it.

  95. Inbox action, checking of the outbox, bouncing servers…this unreceived e-mail is making me horny.

  96. Wait, where did this orgasmatron come into play, how did I miss this? Why I am not enjoying this contraption?

  97. You got that stuff this morning, ee?

    Buns, most likely, no, but I do like the thought of going at Miss She with it – even if it was worn out.

  98. teo, I’d like to say I’m sorry, but I’m not!

  99. Yeah, I got that :) Supper hot word, super hot!

  100. Alas, my inbox remains empty. The story of recent times.

    I guess I just need to be patient.

  101. I’m not sorry either. Back in three minutes…

  102. Pssh! Wordy, you act as if that’s a punishment or something. Or are you saying that to encourage my inadvertent acts of destruction?

    Is vodka the trick to making things bigger, then? I could have used that info on a few dates back in the day. I’d have been the one buying drinks, in that case! ;D

  103. Thought you might like that one, ee. It could get a lot more raunchy, baby, but I don’t want to give you a heart attack or anything.

  104. Aww, poor teo, did you go to relieve some tension? Check your own inbox, outbox?

  105. word, when I have I ever been faint of heart? I can take it, if you can dish it!

  106. Whew, that’s better. Just PLEASE don’t start talking about IP Addresses.

  107. two, or my hard drive? Or my disc drive? Or how I need a LOT more ram? Can you give me any of that? Service my machine?

  108. Oh my. Back in two minutes.

  109. Whoa, see Vodka is playing it’s tricks. Sorry Teo, my slippery finger missed that e, and went right for that w.

  110. Miss She, yes, I’m encouraging you – you’ve always known what an appetite for destruction I possess, so what I say to you right now, girlfriend, is I’d love nothing more than for the both of us to destroy each other. But of course, ee has to be in the mix, or it wouldn’t be the complete melee we’d be after.

  111. lol , a round of wins for everybody.

  112. Get ready, ee.

  113. :raises hand in anticipation:

  114. Can I be in the middle? Or do I have as assigned placement?

  115. Finally got it, ee! Sweet.

  116. Well, wordy, I was brought up to be a well mannered lady. And it just wouldn’t be polite or lady-like to leave ee out of the mix, now would it?

    After all, we’re civilized heathens here. And where would we be without manners and sharing? Now, pass the vodka bottle, sweetie-darling, then let’s get our lady-like asses started on the destruction of all that remains!

  117. An ee sandwich sounds good to me.

  118. Ok, now I’m jealous and I demand to see these pics going around or else I won’t suggest triple headed dildoes.

  119. I’m not sure if you’re planning a threesome or an amateur production of Macbeth. Hopefully it’s both.

  120. “civilised heathens” Ahahaha

  121. christ on a bike. just kinda shambled awake (a day without alcohol = massive insomnia), toddled downstairs for a valium and a glass of some chateauneuf du sleep, come back up here and have a gander as a soporific aid, and find helvetica obese html sex chat!

    this is like fucking dungeons and dragons on speed!

  122. teo, nothing amateur about it. Miss, ee, and myself, are professionals all the way.

  123. Well ladies and gents, as much as I’d like to continue this play of art. And Act I, Scene I sounds quite pleasing. I need to retire for the evening. Dawn approaches and I’ve got 5 hours to go! Far the well my fellows. (I tried my best Shakespeare vodka induced, sorry!)

  124. teo, you’ve cursed your chance of any action, because you said the name of ‘the play’.

    seven years of mood-killing queefs for you sir.

    hey word. cin cin!

  125. Ahh Alord, Just what we needed … another sausage.

  126. word, Miss, Dukey, Teo, and apparently alord… sorry, but I must go to bed. I hate to chat and run, but I’ve got 5 hours till that alarm sounds :( Good night all!

  127. Perhaps both, Teo… Perhaps both.

    Look like the innocent flower,
    But be the serpent under it.

    Alord, you have made my night with, “helvetica obese html sex chat”!

  128. At least anonisgayisgay is not here being gay.

  129. I should go to bed too. Apparently I need Jesus and my mom will be really mad if I don’t show up for church on Sunday.

  130. word and Miss, take care of these man. I know they will be in good hands with you two at the helm!

  131. I won’t insert on the obvious Shakespeare quote here, ee.
    But I will say goodnight! :)

  132. dukey, there’s something i can raise a glass to!

    (n.b. not the sausage bit)

  133. And now it all just died. Just like Romeo and Juliet.

  134. Don’t know if ee got that last one… oh, well. Seems like the internets is all fucked up right now. Big bold text, empty inboxes, etc. Technology sucks sometimes.

  135. can’t help but feel i had something to do with it.

    well i’ll leave you with my favourite shakespeare quote from measure for measure (underrated play):

    ‘your bum is the greatest thing about you.’

    aythenkyow

  136. Alord do you have a glass then?

  137. Cheers, alord. Sorry, I missed yours earlier in the noise.

  138. All the veg has gone, yes, except for me? Only meat left?

  139. I’m sorry, Buns, but without a wingwoman, I’m only a shadow of my potential.

    Girls work best in packs.

  140. Damned if you kids don’t make working at my computer late into the night much less soul-sucking!

    I’m still here wordy. I’ve not abandoned you, love!

  141. You working from home, Miss? Fortunately, I only have to that on occasion. It’s about to get a lot worse for me, though. Lots of policy and procedure review upcoming. BORING.

  142. I definitely don’t mind “packs of girls”, that is actually encouraged.

  143. Why do people keep trying to use square brackets? It’s meant to be triangular brackets.

  144. I am, wordy. It’s preferable to the alternative, and I get to have The Man and my big snoring, farty dog near me while I work and drink beer.

    Not a bad way to go, just dry sometimes. :)

  145. Either way, it’s not working. Some kind of glitch

  146. The bold text thing is weird, though, right? I’ve not seen it before. It’s made this conversation all the more amusing.

  147. Strange, eh, Em?

    Lots of us tried the proper brackets, but no luck in unbolding.

  148. yeah Em, we all tried the proper brackets and we were shit out of luck.

  149. UNBOLD, DAMN YOU! I SAY UNBOLD!

  150. test > test

  151. Well, if yelling at it doesn’t work, I’m all out of ideas.

  152. EmKitt, my lovely fellow Aussie gal. Another I’ve not talked to in a while. How are you, my love?

    Miss, I don’t know whether the reverse would be better or worse for you…

    Farty man and snoring dog?

  153. I’ve had both combos at different stages of my life, so I can say with confidence, both combos are bad.

  154. Lamebook people, hello? Are you seeing this?

  155. Never!
    We have an agreement to keep some of the mystery alive.

    The dog however, can do as she pleases. Everything she does is adorable.

    Em, if yelling doesn’t work, sometimes throwing things does. Experience talking. ;)

  156. I’m alright I suppose, word. Same old nagging health problems as usual. Not too long now until I get the tonsils out. Mixed feelings about that.

    I’ve still been reading the lamebook posts every day but I haven’t had much to say. Still got that winter apathy, I think, but I’m in the process of applying for a passport so that might help to fix me up.

    How are you? I haven’t been reading the comments much. What’s new?

  157. I’m about to pass out word, I’ve got nothing more.

  158. Sweet dreams, Buns.

  159. Mystery is good, Miss. Mystery is a must to keep the juices flowing.

    EmKitt, I’m aok, but other than that, it’s same shit, different day.

  160. Your tonsils out, Em? I don’t want to scare you or anything, but that is a major surgical procedure. It is not one to be taken lightly.

  161. Just make sure you have ALL the information, and that you REALlY need to have them removed. Risks are high – post-op bleeding risks, that is.

  162. Ha! I don’t really need to caps lock anything with this fucking bold type, but I’m just a concerned health professional here.

  163. Yeah, I know it’s a shitty surgery to have done as an adult, but I’ve had tonsillitis once a month for the past year and it’s really shitting me off.

    I’ll make sure to get the boy working hard to look after me afterwards.

  164. Paranoid Android

    Normal text is resumed.

    I need Jesus and am going to the church on Sunday. I love you mama.

  165. Paranoid Android

    I don’t like the new style text, too brash, like an Aussie at a dinner party.

  166. Good to hear, EmKitt. You need someone to aid you in your recovery.

    And it’s Paranoid now! This is like a reunion day of sorts for me. How are you, stranger?

    I will not take offence to your “Aussie at a dinner party” comment.

  167. A dinner party? What’s that? Do you mean a barbie, Paranoid? … :D

  168. Oh, word, I just remembered I do actually have some good news. I finally overcame my driving test anxiety and got my licence on my fourth try.

  169. Excellent and congrats, Em. See? There’s always a little bit of positive in life. You just had to think about it for a bit.

  170. And yeah, Em. Pfft to a dinner party! Us Aussies don’t do dinner parties. What the hell is he talking about?

    I gotta go. It’s been nice catching up with you, Em. Winter is almost over. Yay! A few more weeks and we’re done with it. I hope Melbourne is treating you better weather-wise than it is here in Sydney. It’s simply been the coldest Winter I can remember.

    Android, another time, I guess.

  171. Paranoid Android

    I was thinking more Sir Les Patterson at a dinner party :D

    Am awaiting the end of the day when the weekend finally begins and I can pollute my body and destroy some brain cells with the over-consumption of alcohol, birthday on Sunday so I aim to be pissed from this evening to Monday morning.

  172. Paranoid Android

    TTFN lamebook, by the time I return on Monday, I want these pages to soothe my impending hangover, so no Justin Bieber/Twilight/Shark Week references.

  173. Fudgesicles. I was going to say, I quite enjoy reading the comments, typically more so than the actual Lamebook entries. They make me say “Oh, you… and all your shenanigans.”

  174. kkkateindeed, your name is giving me the willies. it’s like our new postman, nazi neil. there’s something about him i don’t like, but i just can’t place it…..

  175. what’s with the annoying boldness?

  176. the bold is making me sick

    Walter Threw Up
    August 6th, 2010 at 9:08 am

    damn

  177. play time

  178. i give up

  179. teo, I liked the Anchorman reference =D

  180. Please don’t unleash your furry…

  181. Is the Lamebook comments section rebelling or something?

  182. Bold and italicized? whats up y’all? Not sure whats going on but I’d like me a britishhobo…. as long as you have a sweet accent :)

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