Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Mother Matters

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47 Comments

  1. If I was Alex, I wouldn’t be bragging about a 5in. penis, but, maybe I’ve just been……..spoiled.

  2. I guess Charlie should just delete his FB account now.

  3. … so should Alex, actually.

  4. who takes a quiz about how big his penis is anyway?

  5. 10 inches!

    I give it a 10!

    Oh wait, I thought we were supposed to answer the first question. Is that not right?

  6. Charlies’ mum seems a little ‘manically possessive and protective’ of her little God given angel. It kind of reminds me of my relationship with my mother, only without all the oedipal fucking and cunnilingus.

    I would fuck the back of Charlenes’ naked knee.

  7. i’m trying to figure whether Charlie’s Mom is a genius or a psycho.

  8. psycho

  9. @ john, she’s a psychotic genius? Best of both worlds.

  10. le’see here… Charlene thinks she’s going to embarrass her (looks like) 1-year-old into mending her ways by putting the picture on Facebook. least that’s the implication i got. if the poor child is indeed “stupid”, you can see where she got it from.

  11. .. I wonder how much butane the little girl inhaled before Charlene got her picture.

  12. i try really hard not to judge people but Charlene should not have a baby. i can’t say my kid never got hold of something he shouldn’t but my first reaction is to grab it away… i’m sure not going to take the time to try to get a picture. and how frickin’ idiotic to post it on FB, where anyone could use that against her (though i sincerely hope someone DOES use it against her).

  13. The last one just makes me really, really sad.

  14. Some people think it’s bad to give children lighters, I think it’s bad to give them STD’s….Horses for Courses i suppose.

  15. I keep flipping between two mental images of Charlie’s mom. One is very Dr. Evil-ish, proudly admiring her new Facebook-induced mind control toys. The other is very Girl, Interrupted. Sitting on the floor with her knees up, hands over her ears, rocking back and forth repeating “If it’s on facebook, then it must be true.”

  16. Oh, the joys of an overbearing mother!

    And what is it about Americans and EVERYTHING being about God…? Don’t they have Voltaire and the enlightenment over there yet, ffs!? Jeez (that Jeez is meant in a purely non-religious context)

  17. How long has penis measurement been a Facebook hobby? I found out about it just last week, via a wall announcement that my 12-year-old nephew has 4 inches (another commented that he is 62% gay). I asked his mom to have a talk with him.

  18. @saunkhogben – if his penis grows another 2 inches – he gets to be 100% gay…whoop!

  19. Did Charlie’s mom go off her meds? Who does that? I’m pretty sure the poor boy was mortified by that psycho.

    Charlene= mother of the year? Anyone? Champion skills there lady.

  20. Thanks to Charlie’s mum that should probably read ‘Charlie is single forever’.

  21. Oh and charlene decided it was more important to take a photo before taking the lighter off her child? Did she let her suck on that bottle of perfume for a while too before taking it off her? Way to go.

  22. Don’t lie Crimm, at least 7.8 is a lot more believable, lol

  23. If Charlie wasn’t a virgin before, he sure as hell is gonna be one now!

  24. Karen is awesome.
    Charlie’s mom reminds me of the way my family was. My mother strongly opposed my relationship and getting married at 20. She loves my wife now, though.

  25. Karen is awesome, but what does that say about her dad???

  26. @Alan, believe me I can’t stand it either and I’m American. But I have way too many friends who constantly have to toss that in there as well and it just makes me sigh and shake my head.

    Alex is retarded and he deserves the humiliation he gets from that.

    I feel bad for Charlie too, but he shouldn’t have left his FB logged in if he already knew how overbearing and possessive his mother is.

    I’ve heard of soap in the mouth as punishment, but butane in the mouth? (At least the soap causes more of a mental imprint than physical DANGER, and still not that bad of one.) But, seriously, Charlene is just… ugh, I’ve seen crap like this so many times I guess I’ve been “desensitized” by it but this one takes the cake, especially after she finished it off by referring to her kid as a “stupid ass.” Hey, we might all THINK that to ourselves about our kids once in a while, but most of us don’t even say it out loud, much less POST IT ON FACEBOOK!! Fucking stupid cunt. :(

  27. How is a facebook quiz supposed to figure out how much you’re packing? The way I’d do it is to have it ask stuff like:

    “True or false: It is bigger than a breadbox.”

    “Can you tie it in a knot, can you tie it in a bow?”

    “What type of fish would you be mostly likely to catch if you used it as a lure?

    A: Small-Mouth Bass
    B: Large-Mouth Bass
    C: Whale Shark”

  28. Shelley, I thought she meant, “took it out of her mouth after I took the picture of her, stupid ass.” As in, she was calling Brittany a stupid ass, not the baby. But who knows? This is why punctuation matters.

    Oh and just FYI, soap in the mouth can cause burns to the throat. Safer than a lighter, probably, but not safe.

  29. well said 27!

  30. Ouch, mom just did the job of revoking Charlie’s man card for him. Charlene, I hope you ignited yourself after taking it out of your kid’s mouth..you know, AFTER the picture with your stupid ass kid teething on it.

  31. “If Charlie wasn’t a virgin before, he sure as hell is gonna be one now!”

    I’m not sure you understand how that works.

  32. Dan, I assumed that the quiz was:
    What number is next to the tip when put a ruler along side it?
    a)4
    b)5
    c)6…

  33. hahaha i never even picked up on that idontknow

  34. Well thanks, 29!

    And mad2, yeah, that’d probably be simpler.

    I’d have to go with d) All of the above. (Since it depends on how recently I’d been in the pool)

  35. @keona, im with you, ignite yourself charlene. I’m totally submitting a sorry version to http://www.seriouslysorry.com

  36. SweetZombieJeebus

    Oh yes Charlene, your ‘stupid ass’ daughter was being so so ‘sneeky’ when she got into your bag that you no doubt left on the ground undone and was able to get your lighter out of your bag and put it in her mouth. Imagine your surprise and frustration when you came into the room only to discover the inconvenience this little stupid toddler had caused you. What better way to teach her a lesson whilst once again making everything about your selfish ass then take a picture of it so everyone can see the horrible crap she makes you endure.

    And the worst thing about this, the horrible injustice of it all is that now your lighter is all soggy and you’ll probably have to wait fort it to dry out. F*ck Your Life.

    Oh and also I hate you and I hope someone takes your child away from your stupid ass… End rant

  37. @idontknow – Oh, that is totally possible. TBH I’ve just heard too many parents say things like that about and TO their kids – my own included, but also a lot of my friends or relative’s friends who do the same. It’s really kinda hard to tell in this one now that I think about it. Could go either way. *shrug* Either way, stupid people – punctuation = confusion and laughs. xP

    And ew about the soap. o.O I never knew of that. I was “soaped” a couple times as a child (my parents usually used Dove or Zest ICK! – I refuse to buy either of those soaps myself now because of it) and, sucky as it was, I don’t think I ever got burned from it.

    Agreed w/ Keona and Jeebus.

  38. Who the hell calls their child a stupid ass??? Makes me want to cry. Poor kid doesn’t have much of a shot at life with such a dumb whore for a mother.

    (Also, I really want to know what the kid’s name is, I bet it’s “unique”).

  39. I couldn’t have said it better myself mb.

  40. Number one: ” via how big is you nob.” Ha ha.

  41. MB – watch Farrah in a few episodes of Teen Mom and get back to us. I imagine a bimbo like Charlene calling her child all kinds of names.. I think as a LAW all new parents should take a Child Developmental Psychology class and must get a freaking A in it. Charlene is a fucking cunt. The end.

  42. I’m hoping Charlene is just retarded (well, obviously) and didn’t use correct punctuation—I really hope she was calling the other chick a dumb ass, not the kid. Like “I took it out AFTER I took the picture, dumb ass”. Either way, wtf? Butane huffing ftw.

  43. Oh, and guys who have to take dick size tests then post them on facebook are usually lacking in that area. I’m guessing he’s about half that size.

  44. I’m with #28 & #42, I’m pretty sure that Charlene was calling Brittany a stupid ass for insinuating that she was a bad mother. God forbid.

  45. Man I feel for Charlie. Poor kid is never gonna be anywhere near approaching cool now. His mother probably went to great lengths to break up his relationship too.

  46. I don’t really know what to say.. sooo.I wanna be the very best

    Pokemon!

    Gotta catch ‘em all–

    It’s you and me

    I know it’s my destiny

    Pokemon!

    Ooooh, you’re my best friend

    In a world we must defend

    Pokemon!

    Gotta catch ‘em all–

    Our hearts so true

    Our courage will pull us through

    You teach me and I’ll teach you

    Pokemon!

    Gotta catch ‘em all!

    Gotta catch ‘em all!

    Yeeaa.

    Every challenge along the way

    With courage I can face

    I will battle everyday

    To claim my rightful place
    Come with me the time is right

    There’s no better team

    Arm in arm we’ll win the fight

    It’s always been our dream

    Pokemon!

    Gotta catch ‘em all–

    It’s you and me

    I know it’s my destiny

    Pokemon!

    Ooooh, you’re my best friend

    In a world we must defend

    Pokemon!

    Gotta catch ‘em all–

    Our hearts so true

    Our courage will pull us through

    You teach me and I’ll teach you

    Pokemon!

    Gotta catch ‘em all!
    You touch me and i touch yoouu(: POKEMON!

  47. lynchmasterflash

    /\ really? WTF?

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