Wednesday, June 2, 2010

More PROfiles

previous post: DEAFinitely Wrong



  1. She loves sexy guys, sexy girls, and making out but hates sluts. Oi makes perfect sense, capiche?

  2. Oreos?

  3. ee, an oreo’s either a black person who acts white or a mulatto.

  4. suckmebeautiful

    blackn the outside, white on the inside. she basically wants the stereotypical black men…

  5. suckmebeautiful

    black on**

  6. @Stam: Oreos are cookies.

  7. She spelled PARTiiiNG wrong

  8. I know an Asian guy that called himself a Twinkie.

  9. I was thinking she really hates oreo cookies.

  10. How could anyone hate oreo cookies?

  11. Why a Twinkie mcowles? I don’t get that one.

  12. tootie is such a dumbass and a disgrace.

  13. suckmebeautiful

    Lol ee, he’s yellow on the outside but white on the inside…

  14. I’m a oreo fan myself. I’m a dunker though, not a twister/licker.

  15. suckmebeautiful

    Although that could be contested because a twinkie is also a teenage or teenage looking gay guy….

  16. im guessing that mellissa is a guidette.

  17. Oh that’s funny.

  18. @dcrearview: No Sh*t well thanks for clearing that up.
    LOL, ee- yellow on the outside but white on the inside.

  19. @suckme

    Indeed. I would never call an Asian person that… seems racist on a few different levels, but I was more than ok with him calling himself that :) .

  20. I hope Tootie and Mellisa get in a fight to the death. I don’t really care who wins as long as the both end up dead or in a vegetative state.

  21. What is with the double letters in the last post? That was painful to read.

    How do you get Maria out of Melissa? Sorry, Mariia- Meliissa

  22. None of us are white on the inside. Just stating the facts.

  23. After reading these comments, I am hungry for processed snack foods. :(

    I often wonder if there is some mysterious website out there that all these girls subscribe to that has this kind of nonsense for them to copy/paste. Maybe it’s some code for something. Maybe that’s what 2012 is really about…

  24. This was painful to read

  25. i hate oreos too….the cookie that is.

  26. In Trinidad, where I’m from, toots or too-too is how we say feces in our dialect. So good for Tootie. Given her About Me, it’s an apt, though unintentional, colloquialism.

    I hate one word texts too. And stalkers.

  27. oscarlittlebear

    did anyone else lol at the reference to “the replacements” in the first one? i gave this a thumbs up for that non sequitur alone.

  28. Tootie makes Melissa sound classy. I think both bitches deserve a smack though.

  29. ii HATE WHEN PPL WRiiTE LiiKE THiiS.

  30. You’re only a real gangsta if you watch Kim Possible. Everything else be wack.

  31. YOO >> MELiiSSA!!!!! ii’M GUNA SHOOT U >> iiN DA FAiiCE!!!!!!! STOOPiiD >> FUKiiNG iiDiiOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  32. da dumb ass ppl who cut off Kim Possible
    how the hell does this even fit in with all her other dislikes?

  33. @32 Ha that made me laugh. She’s acting all important and gangsta and then she starts complaining about a Family Channel showing getting “cut off” (does she mean cancelled or what?).

    I also like “the end of life”…

  34. What immediately caught my eye (can’t help it) and made MELiiSSA look like a fool: she wrote “BiGGEST” with only one “i”.

  35. this just really makes me sick . . .

  36. Meliisa, Tootie Too-too and ii could never be friends. ii love oreos and pickels.

  37. In her defense, Kim Possible was a pretty kick-ass show.

  38. On the path towards Idiocracy coming true.

    These 2 need to be sterilized.

  39. So the first person basically hates whites? :L Sake.

  40. CommentsAtLarge

    I expected Melissa (or Meliissa or whatever) to be from Jersey but realized she’s from Montreal. Is it really that hood up there in the great white north?

  41. @tikitommy : sterilized ???

  42. Whenever I see a post like the second one I thin… how the fuck long does that take to type? Why bother? Who’s really wasting their time, the person struggling to read what the fuck it says, or the person redundantly using all caps except for the i’s which they double, and a z after every fucking s and what the fuck why oh god it hurts my brain to look at :|

  43. oh dear god…I swear, not all Canadians type like this (thank goodness, I’d die…)

  44. yourinevitabledemise

    Ohhhh my goodness. White people can’t listen to black music like Tupac, but she can watch OUR show with a white heroin, Kim Possible?? That’s not even right. Such a hypocrite. Fuck you, I’m white, in love with Talib Kweli, my name is Kim AND I hate that fucking show. I’M COMPLEX.

  45. yourinevitabledemise

    same diff, cause TV is the opiate of the masses and stuff.

  46. @maimaimai Yeah those b*tches need to be cleaned with the most potent and astringent bleach products available so they are left infertile (and squeaky clean…)

  47. ohhh LOLx10 @yourinevitabledemise, Kim Possible IS white heroin.

  48. don’t know why but I thought the first one was a guy until I read the comments…

  49. Good point, yourinevitabletoomuchformetotype. If Kanye is allowed to listen to Sufjan and Feist, I damn well betta be allowed to listen to Tupac.

  50. Kim Possible wasn’t cut off, her cable was.

    mao @ Kablaam

  51. That pickles one took me awhile to figure out. Thought maybe it was pixies…pickies…??? My head hurts.

  52. Also, where the hell is Malteaser?
    I shall take the place for this post—”lol”.

  53. Kim Possible BAHAHAHAHAHA!

  54. rockinghorsefly

    I LOVE Kim Possible!

    Tootie pretty much covered everything with her hates list. That is quite a range from ‘people who say Bahaha’ to ‘end of life’!

    @suckmebeautiful – loving your username!

  55. Reading Meliissa’s made it seem like my screen was shaking.

  56. But Tootie, Kim Possible is just a wigger trying to act tough yo! You hate those bitches, remember?

    “BUT EVERiiONE CAllSZ ME >> MEll / MARiiA”
    How do you solve a problem like ‘MARiiA’?

  57. 45.yourinevitabledemise June 2nd, 2010 at 5:04 pm

    same diff, cause TV is the opiate of the masses and stuff.

    Thanks I needed that laugh but YOMANK.

    I like Hydrox, does that count?

  58. How does a person become accustomed to writing each word with a double ‘ii’?! It’s irritating to read, I can only imagine what it’ll be like to write.

    Strange, people in my school quite like oreo’s. The people, that is.

  59. rebarbativebecc

    I had to stop reading the second one because all those “i’s” were making my inner voice and brain vibrate lol

  60. dietpillpyramidscheme

    I hope whoever submitted those tells the people in question that they are now ‘lameous’. As such, in the hope that either women read this:

    You are a cancer on the earth.
    The rest of humanity would be better of without you.

  61. discomfortzone

    You had me at “yall is straight fuckin wack”

    You complete me.

  62. how can you hate oreos?

  63. I find it ironic that a so-called Italian can’t even spell “capisce” correctly. Fail.

  64. BeautifullyDizzy

    I’m ashamed to say that I have the same name as her (but my ‘i’ key isn’t stuck) and am from the same city. Just having those two things in common with her makes me want to shoot myself.

    Luckily for her, she doesn’t have to be literate for any of those jobs.

  65. Can I be called “Stay Puffy” if I’m white on the outside, white in the inside and kinda chubby?

  66. Walter Sobchak

    Yes Canadians can be pretty damn annoying.


  67. thats it….please put me out of my misery. These 2 have made me hate the world….and oreos.

  68. I wonder if Melissa wears a pouty face and flashes the peace sign while she types,I wonder why that dude Tootie watches/misses Kimpossible.

  69. I hate one word texts too, but I still send them, lol. Just feel too lazy sometimes to do anymore, and I’m like meh.

  70. umami, that could be. And what does your name mean? umami umami, I sure do like saying it :)

  71. @pinkhobo Umami is the word the Japanese created to describe the 5th taste sensation; savoury. Before, it was limited to sweet, sour, salty and bitter.

  72. thanks chops :] less exciting than I thought it would be, but tasty none the less, haha, my joke is lame.

  73. yourinevitabledemise

    Yomank! Neat. I had to google it, but neat.

    And hey. I smoke a shit ton of weed and still scorn everything. We’s all gots our thangs.

    …unless you’re talking about cookies. In which case, I think my comment still applies.

  74. I was just waiting for the part where Tootie says she hates haters. Oh the irony would have been delicious.

    She seems pretty racist, no? Am I allowed to say that?

  75. bahahah


    OK . . . were you home-schooled?


    ~ nah you pretty much covered it all!

  78. Maybe her “i” and caps locks are just sticky?

  79. RenegadeSoldier

    Maybe she is black and doesn’t have a fucking clue how to use the keyboard?

  80. looool

  81. Tootie hates The Replacements?
    But they’re such a good band.

    (I offer a pat on the back to anyone who likes them, and appreciated the joke)

  82. does tootie also hate stairs?
    and the water?
    The woods.
    Boat people.
    Dead things.
    Small towns.
    Boat Lawyers.
    Ayn Rand.
    Electric fences.

  83. I don’t know if it’s been brought up… but I love the fact that MELiiSSA dislikes stalkers.


  84. @deadvices
    yes and she lists what she does, her city, and possibly the description of venues where she works? i thought about that, but was too busy reading all the comments (that almost made me piss myself from laughter ROFL!!!) to go all the way to the bottom of this page to comment!!!

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