That suit would only work if he was applying to work at Express itself. And how much less succinct could he be?
“My shirt? Express. Expensive. Very nice.
My pants? Express. A-very expensive. Very nice, you like?
My socks? Express. Not cheap. Niiice.
My tie? $50 at Express. I got deal!
Did I mention belt? Also express. Very expensive.
You like, bitch?”
1. This was between Memorial Day and Labor Day of last year.
2. He realizes nothing makes a fat guy look fatter, than wearing a solid, shiny, brightly colored, slim-fit shirt.
3. This finally convinces Diddy to cancel his “white party”.
Can someone explain the last one? I get the Iva Tynee Weiner part (nice). But I don’t shop at Safeway so I don’t understand what that part of the receipt is usually supposed to say, considering it says “items sold: 0″ (also wtf).
The house is fine ffs, I’ve seen much trashier small homes. It’s not confirmed he’s American. I’ve seen fatasses in all countries, except poor Ethiopa. In fact, I think I saw one in my Anatomy class as a guest speaker, just sort of hanging around.
The suit looks terrible and tasteless, and if he wanted to hide his obesity, everyone knows black is slimming, and with bright colours, you may as well put a flashing sign on your head to announce your bad image.
Sad thing is I shop at Express and I have seen that shirt and another God-awful lime green one. Being that I am not colorblind I tossed the shit in the back of the stand and picked darker colors. The brightest color I got was red.
That poor, poor dog. Idiot owner, trashy place to live, and a couch that probably still smells like grandma. What a waste of money: he could have picked that outfit up at Wally World for 1/4 the price. (Looks like he did, actually.)