Friday, July 2, 2010

More & More PROblems

previous post: FANtastic Friday!

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101 Comments

  1. anonisgayisgay

    ben is a fuckin faggot

  2. anonisgayisgay

    hahahahaha the last one is amazing

  3. Kinda getting sick of all the babydaddy drama, doesn’t anyone know the father of their child anymore??

  4. ahaha! she does a complete 180 – perfect! also, thank you anon for not being STEVER.

  5. Does anyone notice how the spelling on the last one dramatically changes on the second parragraph?!

  6. LoquaciousLoki

    Selling things to the devil doesn’t pay well anymore. I guess everyone’s feeling the economic problems.

    Why not just steal whiskey?

  7. No MisspinK, I’ll take another look.

  8. Don’t be such a square, FuckMustard!

    Am I being too optimistic by assuming that all 3 of these were profile hacks?

  9. But I like being a square.

  10. congratulations to misspink for the overly obvious observation of the day award.

    hi word.

  11. A hamster should be worth more. Those furry little buggers are prized in some circles. You sold to the wrong crowd, Lewis.

    Hi alord.

  12. As a fellow Andre, we don’t see our names around that often, that last one scared me.

  13. are you watching the football?

    i <3 ghana.

  14. Or should I say, next time Lewis, kidnap hamsters from those with vested interests in their usefulness.

    Yes alord, wow to Ghana.

  15. word, firstly http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kyrie ;)

    secondly, you’re hot.

  16. All that and Lewis could only manage 1.73 pounds… Damn this recession.

  17. alord, aha! got it, and it must be all the hamster talk that’s getting you heated up, or the fact I love the football, yeah?

  18. Ouch, equal in the football.

  19. no it’s mostly the fact you’re not fat.

    it’s the only ghost of a prejudice i have in me – fatties. it’s indefensible, really. i just can’t help it. :-$

    but yeah, the football is good. beer time yet? what’s your beer of choice? vb? toohey’s?

  20. Hi word :)

  21. Well I guess you’ve heard enough about my feelings on fat to know that I hate it, so your assumption is correct. It’s my last standing prejudice as well. It’s not beer time here just yet, and my poison is stella or hahn super dry.

  22. Lewis, you are truly the role model of society. You have my gratitude.

    And lol at the last one.

  23. That 3rd girl is a disgrace. Listing herself as a Christian but then having a baby out of wedlock and cussing (not to mention using “your” instead of “you’re”).

  24. Hi FuckM, how’s the peach juice? That stuff makes me queasy just thinking about it.

  25. dan, have you ever tried anal? are you… curious…?

  26. i think you know what i’m saying… ;-)

  27. No peach juice today, it’s a beer kind of day :)

  28. @alordslums – the sexual practices I engage in are none of your concern. I will say however, that there is nothing in the Bible which condemns heterosexual sodomy (unlike what many religion bashers may think). For clarification, you can read the passages in Jeremiah (it has been awhile so I’m not sure exactly which chapter).

  29. CommentsAtLarge

    Lewis, if the devil paid you by the pound and that’s all the money you got – well it just doesn’t bode well for you my man.

  30. dan… you’ve upset me. your religion is obviously a great comfort to you, but has taught you nothing about interpreting the subtleties of sexual suggestion.. :-(

    i’ll have to find someone else to experiment on.

  31. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    I hope Ghana wins.

  32. Long time lurker. I kind of feel like that stalker that’s been leering at you through the windows, while hiding in the bushes beating off with a mixture of sweat and aggravated tears. Feels nice to take off the ski mask of anonymity!

    I am curious on the back story how Jessica knows more about this whore Nicole’s babydaddy than she does; insinuates a threesome to me…

  33. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    BTW Dan, alord was making a joke about how anal you are … I am actually worried that you didn’t get that … or did you?

  34. Me too, Dukey. I don’t think it’s my imagination, but it seems a lot of lurkers and stalkers are coming out from under rocks, and from behind bushes of late.

  35. If these lurkers are anything like me, perhaps we can have a circle jerk or something…

    The more the merrier, amirite?

  36. Re: #3: DAMMIT, they do that in Europe too? I thought those flagrantly ghetto misspellings were a uniquely American thing.

  37. And alord, I know what you’re saying, and danke!

  38. Did she copy and paste the first part from someone else, in the last one? It seems like a crazy switch from typing correctly to typing like a druggie.

    McVodka, I was thinking that someone was talking smack. Maybe calling her a slut saying that she sleeps around so she doesn’t know who the father of her baby is.

  39. @34 no – it’s a question of eugenics -quality not quantity. there is no firm and impenetrable oligarchy – it’s a meritocracy of wit. if you’re funny enough, then you’re alright. also, if you’re not yoink, you probably need a spell-checker/dictionary to hand.

    being sexually frustrated probably helps too.

  40. But, come on FuckMustard, she can’t really be expected to know where her vagina’s been at all times. Or who’s been in it. Right?

    Ugh. I just depressed myself with that one. Pass whatever booze you got on hand, Wordy. I won’t be particular; MissShegas needs a swig.

  41. alordslums: well, that goes without saying; quality > quantity. You dont want all of the sacks of fail out there on the internets having the comment version of diarrhea on lamebook.

    My grammar & whatnot is above par, it’s a requirement for work, soooo I think I’ll be fine… <3 Yoink btw.

    As for the sexually frustrated deal, I get laid at a regular interval, but I'm a fiend of sorts, so there will probably always be some sexual angst lying around to spring up like a jack in the box, possibly from my box. You never know. On that note, what are you wearing?

  42. krasivaya_devushka

    Ugh.
    That’s all I have to say to numbers 1 and 3.

    Oh, and Jane Eyre is a good book.

    Oh, and also, go Ghana!

  43. Miss Shegas, silly me of course she can’t be expected to know who’s been in her I don’t know what I was thinking. Well you can come and drink away your sorrows with me :)

  44. i am lying on my front naked apart from a pair of blue boxer shorts with anchors on.

    (true story).

    i’m like the male version of lolita.

  45. anonisgayisgay

    omg you are all sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo lame

  46. i know – jane eyre’s awful, right?

  47. Oh be still my heart, alord I think I am in love. I think it may be the anchors that got me.

  48. @ 44 Really I think we are sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cool.

    What is the point in putting extra o’s? Please explain.

  49. Miss She, I’m passing you a virtual stella as we speak.

    alord, anchors away!

  50. Bahahahaa! Was that last woman Schizophrenic?!

  51. alordslums: sounds steamy, bag of carrots style… soo, are you like a baby carrot or perhaps one of those long girthy carrots (can carrots even BE girthy??), or maybe a old gnarled withered carrot?

  52. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    @ Miss Shegas “MissShegas needs a swig.”
    you just reminded me of a random joke I heard a while ago (don’t get your hopes up, its not exceedingly funny).

    A man meets a genie, being Russian, he wishes for the ability to piss vodka(naturally). After he gets his wish, he runs home to his wife and tells her about it, then he sends her to go get glasses. So she comes back and hands him a glass. So he asks “why one glass.” and she replies “I prefer to drink from the bottle.”

  53. y do peple sleep wiv these peple thats so eezee?

  54. I think the ghost of Bertha Mason hacked into that last profile.

  55. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    BTW Word, Stella is great, can you virtually pass me one too.

  56. I smiled, Dukey.

  57. well i am feeling slightly smug/bewildered whilst cradling my very real grolsch and wondering what all the fuss is about with virtual beers…

  58. Done, Dukey. You can send me over some vodka.

  59. alord, I have to have some restraint at this point, it is, after all, morning here. Virtual will become reality as soon as it’s deemed a decent hour.

  60. yo alord hows ya day bin man? dun ane mor musik?

  61. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Thanks Word, now I can pretend that this Molson canadian I have is a Stella. I wouldn’t mind giving you some vodka, Malteaser hasn’t given me any lols lately if you know what I mean.

  62. CommentsAtLarge

    @words

    Having a Stella in your honor this evening; I’ve got a few hours on ya so “a decent hour” will come sooner.

  63. yoink is in the house, and hello to you.

    Dukey, yeah, where is the malt?

    Comments, don’t tempt me to indulge at this hour. Football and beer mix very well, and it’s very exciting.

  64. we ad a gig las nite but no grupys yet but we got free drinks but i dropd a base amp on me fut, wot did u make 2day (wood) wot bout ur drivin…?

  65. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    The game is crazy, 20 seconds from penalty. Also anytime, is an “honorable hour”

  66. just got crazier!!!

  67. No fucking way!

  68. and crazier!

  69. krasivaya_devushka

    Oh my dear God; what the hell just happened!?
    :(

  70. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    THIS IS FUCKEN CRAZY

  71. this is one of those moments where i have to say

    thanks england (for football)
    thanks john logie baird
    thanks bill gates
    thanks cern

    time and space compressed!

  72. Thanks for the virtual generosity, kids. :)

    The joke did give me a bit of a grin, Dukey! I’ll pass that one along to the man tonight; he’ll surely enjoy it.

  73. krasivaya_devushka

    “Being Russian, he wishes for the ability to piss vodka(naturally”

    Ok, that made me LOL!
    Russians & vodka :D

  74. CommentsAtLarge

    @word

    Me tempt you — Never! ;)

    Incidentally, as someone who is stuck in an office with no way of seeing what’s going on in the game, you guys are killin me.

  75. hello word hows u dudet? alords was prity funi day my coleyge is propa retartid he cut tip of his finga of on the saw loooooooooool an mayde a decrativ winmil in sum rich old dudes gardin he was a propa cool dude tho mad us bacon buttys fa brekfast so was hapi duno bowt dryvin mate they anit told me a cant yet so bin stil doin it

  76. Gutted.

  77. krasivaya_devushka

    I quit watching football. Forever.

    Ok, maybe not forever, but this sucks.

  78. decrativ winmil m8 thas a waste of ur talants maybey u cud mayke a wooden car 4 wen u get band u can drive aroun in ur one car n maybey mayk ur one lisense frm wood as well lol!

  79. looooool that wud be gud i cud mayke u stayge props for ur gigs lyk a giyant wooden bird wiv a joyn or sumfin looool

  80. ment wiv a joynt

  81. NO, ALORDSLUMS, NO!
    Hitch up your boat covered boxers, and leave behind the tard-talk, I implore you. You’ve made me brainy bits cry out in shivering pain with that drivel!

  82. wen peple 1st red ulysses wit streeming conshes get it n thort it was stupid.
    wen peple 1st red saramago with onley commas they thort it wes stupid.
    gert stein, hemmmingway &c. n u no shaksper mayde up werds!

    wen u guna wayke up n smell da coffey, yoink is a genious!!!

  83. er, you clearly left out ee cummings there, alordslums
    i implore you to quit, nonetheless

  84. alord u lyke the giyant bird wiv a joynt ideer? cus ya bands bad bird init? u cud cum on in it an peple fink its a joynt then u crawl owt of it so its lyk a joint an a cookoon? loooooool

  85. i like the cummings poem about sex.

    there’s so much freudian in that sentence.

  86. yoink if i commission you how much will it cost? we just need the stadium tour first…
    could you make it like this, except with a bird…?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCgthG5sL6M

    one of the best bands, and one of the best stage props ever.

  87. duno bowt cost alord loooooool was just an iydeer but fink it wud be wel cool yeah thats a cool one i now relly wana se a reel bird smokin a joynt tho loooool out of its lil beek

  88. you have such a beautiful mind, yoink.

  89. lol y im so gunna go feed the duks one day an put weed in the bred i gotta see a duck high befor i dye loooooooool

  90. So I guess Jessica Chattin is her name?

  91. i feel like the the in the first one she’s being sarcastic…that’s just how i read it..

  92. If the devil was paying by the inch Lewis hasn’t lost much.

  93. krasivaya_devushka

    “That 3rd girl is a disgrace. Listing herself as a Christian but then having a baby out of wedlock and cussing (not to mention using “your” instead of “you’re”).”

    That last part is hilarious!

  94. Hamsters are not useful. They’re mean little fuckers.

  95. Richard Gere would disagree with you there, chiiro.

  96. Damn..the last lady must be quite the catch.Loves films, music, books…oh and she just had a kid with a horrible baby daddy who, by the look of things, ain’t coming back anytime soon. With those credentials, she might as well sign up at eHarmony, she’ll be taken in no time.

  97. I love how she wrote the second paragraph. As if that’s the official dialect of enraged single mothers everywhere.

  98. It’s obvious that Nicole is using subtle sarcasm directed toward Jessica who has been spreading rumours that Derrick doesn’t own Nicole’s baby. It’s quite funny actually the way she has worded it!

  99. Actually I think Nicole is using subtle sarcasm to tell us that toy story 3 was amazing and that we should all go see it

  100. In the first half of the bio she sounds so nice and normal, then it was like wtf.

  101. Toy Story 3 WAS amazing

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