Thursday, April 15, 2010

More GeAWEgraphy

previous post: Holy Matrimony!



  1. Ben! First.

  2. Ben! Second.

  3. i cannot believe the first one. more than lame. STUPID.

    and the third on, jesh.

  4. Ben! Dover.

    I hope my kids don’t go to their schools…yikes!

  5. fortunately, from the spelling in the 1st (learnt and realise)one i take it they are from England or Australia. so at least they are stupid Americans!

  6. @jfwillims1: “Ben! Dover.” I love it!


  7. i love malteaser too

    lol lol

  8. Lucy is the lamest of the first one for being pleased with herself for knowing AFRICA IS A CONTINENT.

    And the third one is actually quite amusing.


    I felt the need to do a psa. I’m done now.

  10. @dcrearview – thanks!

    I do like the third one for the “aslaska”…silly typo but I really might start referring to that “island” as ass-laska.
    “Hey, where’re you off to.”
    “That island of beauty…or booty…ass-laska. You know, near Hay-why?”

  11. oh, dear God.

  12. Or maybe you prefer… Ha-y-wiee!!

    Muka laka hiki,
    Come on, you wanna lei me,
    Pass the poi, Mahalo!

  13. Who's That Girl?

    Ugh, I weep for my species. But the first one reminded me of my favorite saying: “That’s hotter than butt sex in Kenya!”

  14. Well, I think we can safely say Lucy’s admission to Harvard is virtually guaranteed with that kind of intelligence at her disposal.

    I find it a little sad that Sandriana has apparently only ever seen one map in her entire life, and has evidently never been exposed to a globe. I suppose I can hope that the real reason for her ignorance is a recent major head injury.

  15. This is very SAD I’m from South Africa and I have to say this is one hell of a big TOWN!

  16. What’s this Ben thing??

  17. Wow, and they want to get rid of Geography in school?

  18. how? how does this happen? what the fuck is going on here?

    Everyone here needs to make sure their kids are never this fucking stupid.

  19. haywiee!!!

  20. These people are breeding and making more of themselves and they’re all registering to vote for world leaders. I weep for our fate.

  21. Who's That Girl?

    Hahahaha!!! Have to laugh at “What’s this Ben thing?”

    I don’t follow every post, but I do know that he is Frodo and there is NO pool…

  22. Yo may know that Lindsey’s presence in NY means she is on her way to London. I think we should give him another chance.

  23. Seriously, are people really this uneducated when it comes to Geography? I have a C, but holy crap, this is common knowledge.

  24. I was going to say that I simply couldn’t believe that people could be so ignorant… but then I remembered that I know people who seem to think that Africa is a country.

    Mind you, given how most of the media talk about Africa (and more specifically its problems) as though it were a homogenous entity, it’s not surprising they do.

    Where’s Malteaser? I need a lol.

  25. I have been to Egypt, but never in Africa. True story.

  26. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    lol @ OyMate you just proved jukaswo right.

    “@dc: Don’t be such a snot (“one last time”)! Not everyone visits every post every day (unlike myself… sad, I know). Plus, someone will ask again, so it’s not really one last time.”

  27. hahaha lucy… you feel awesome because you’re not completely brain dead…hoo-rah

  28. And Melissa thought Chad was a town named after some cute guy in 10th grade.

  29. hahahaa! :D

  30. lol

  31. #1- DID YOU KNOW THAT EUROPE IS ACTUALLY A CONTINENT?!?! Yeah, Germany, and France arn’t actually towns… It blew my mind too.

    #3 Uhmm.. haywiee. hahahaha. Took me awhile to know what she was talking about, sadly enough I don’t speak uneducated twit very well. Oh and yeah, I totally didn’t know Alaska was beside Canada either. No big deal.

  32. And also that it’s practicly next to Russia.

  33. I had to convince a woman twice my age and who was also of African decent that Egypt was in Africa. She wouldn’t believe me with my GED degree… so I had to have someone with a college education help me convince her.

  34. #3… Haywiee? Just for that, she never gets to visit these islands. What a sad, sad day.

  35. Who's That Girl?

    I once got in an argument with a guy who called his Mexican girlfriend “Spanish” because she spoke Spanish. Dumbass. “You speak English, but you’re actually American, you nitwit!”

  36. hey… alaska is an island… i seen the map! dill with it

  37. But it’s a tricky one. A part of Egypt is on the Asian continent.

  38. um… i speak american… english is for pansies

  39. Dear Lucy, hit the books or get the fuck off. xxx

  40. what massive cities too..

  41. Who's That Girl?

    Do you know how many Americans can’t name a country that begins with a “U” ??? So sad for my people…

  42. 41st! Yay! Cookies?

    Anyway, it never cease to amuse me, the general idiocy of the American people.

  43. the people of the first post complete and utter idiots.

  44. @Slimjayz…that cracked me up…dill with it…

  45. I’ve seen that same map… in fact I always thought Alaska was an island also… not only that, but I thought that they built a HUGE circular wall around it, to keep out that ninja throwing star with an N on top of it.

  46. Is sad

  47. Blood of Christ! Someone throw an Atlas at Melissa!

  48. Flabbergasting. ‘Aslaska next to Haywiee’, huh? And not so far from ‘Kailfornium’ either. This is what happens when we don’t stay in school.

    Stephan, um, I wouldn’t be so sure all of them are Americans. In fact, I am positive the first one ISN’T. Americans don’t spell realize ‘realise’ unless they are of that worldly “literary” poser persuasion, in which case they sure as hell wouldn’t be so damned ignorant about Africa.

  49. @mcowles – hahahaha!!!

  50. I’ve never been to Hay-wee. It’s near Mitch-again, right?

    I’m sorry, that was terrible. You can all line up and give me a slap, if you wish.

  51. Also we need a little thing at the top of Lamebook that explains what stuff like ‘Ben’ and ‘Frodo’ are.

  52. Christina.Willemina

    When people say they speak “American”, I shudder a little.

  53. Who's That Girl?

    I shutter a little when fat girls teach pole dancing classes. But hey, not everyone thinks things all the way through..

  54. @BritishHobo

    I’m gonna set my name link to a picture of the Frodo post.

    You write up something about Ben (include his lack of knowledge on herpes) and add it for your name link.

    Ready? Go!

  55. bollywood_rocks83

    As an African living in USA(Georgia to be exact), Melissa and her likes are a common occurrence for me. It usually goes: You’re from Africa, right? It’s such an exotic country. Do you have elephants as pets”? So many things wrong with that sentence I just stick with telling them Africa is a continent and I am from a country within Africa. Oy!

    Point is if you see Melissa as a rarity, I don’t and if I took offense at that ignorance, I’d probably be dead from the high BP.

  56. Who's That Girl?

    Man, I totally forgot about the herpes post! Dude, you guys hold some grudges.

    But, it is like soap opera. I can leave and come back a month or so later, and you guys are still talking about the same shit!

    I’m sure Ben is flattered that you still think of him…

  57. I had to ask my boys if they knew if Africa was a country or a continent after this one, and they said continent. Then I asked them what Egypt was, and they said a country in Africa. They are nine and ten, 3rd and 4th graders know this stuff. I have to admit though, I laughed.

  58. MonkeyCMonkeyDo

    * slaps BritishHobo* :D ‘cuz you asked so nicely…

    @ Who’s that Girl Would you consider Uganda? It’s a town in the country of Africa! bahaha! It’s officially The Republic Of… Hm… Perhaps I’ll just stick w/ the South American countries and go with Uruguay!

    Joking aside, I have noticed that the school’s (at least in the northeast US) do not teach geography as much as they used to. It’s no wonder Americans are laughed at around the world :( There are some folks who can’t even pick the US out on a map of the world.

  59. Sandriana is pretty dumb…however…it annoys me to no end that most US maps do not show Hawaii and Alaska in their proper places.

  60. Ignorant imbeciles like those should be shot.

  61. And who the hell names their child Sandriana?!

  62. Who's That Girl?

    @Monkey – I just think that it doesn’t occur to Americans that their own country begins with a “U” (hellooo, you live in the United States of America, dumbasses). Don’t get me wrong, I’m American (from the northeast US at that!). I just weep for my people.

    By the way, if it’s PC to call a black person “African American”, why am I not called “North American…American”? Or for that matter, why can’t I be French American, since that is where my decendants are from. How did I get stuck with “white girl”?

  63. Haywiee != Hawaii. How did she sound it out and STILL butcher it?

  64. I’m crying here, and I’m not sure if it’s because their stupidity is so funny or because they’re so stupid.

  65. When someone from the US says to name a country that starts with the letter “U,” I assume they mean a country besides the one you’re currently in… It’d just be too retarded of a question to ask otherwise. Like asking someone to name a proper name and then expecting them to say their own name. How uncreative.

    @Who’s That Girl, feel free to have people call you French-American. I refuse to go by white girl (which is probably why the census people are going to hate me when they read my form). You can call me Greek-American, or not label me at all.

    Personally, I consider “African-American” less PC because it lumps a whole bunch of groups of people together. What about black Haitians and Jamaicans? It’s the African-American label that allows the original post to exist in the first place.

  66. @Demarion– Obviously she can’t pronounce Haywiee/Hawaii, either….

    @Who’s– I check the “other” box and write in European-American. :-)

  67. There was a study done where they asked Americans to point out USA on an Atlas, and like 80% of them had no idea where it was.

    Most pointed to Australia becase Americans think that USA is a land-mass of it’s own

  68. i bet you cant back that study up cynic… produce the study and show that it was substantiated or get the fuck out

  69. Cynic, I’ve heard that before, yet, for some reason no one ever seems to be able to remember where they heard that statistic or who conducted the study. It’s bullshit. Bullshit, I say! We’re not THAT stupid over here, folks… At least I don’t think so.

  70. I just have to say, if this sums up who will be running the country when I am nursing home aged, I am going to buy a gun and a bullet, and instead of applying for social security, I will do myself a favor and use that bullet on myself.

  71. Yeah yeah the punctuation in my first sentence may not be entirely correct, I remember how you people are about grammar…. you NAZIS!

  72. These people cannot be real … right?

  73. Who's That Girl?

    Kudos to Slimjayz! Don’t post dumb ass study results unless you can back the statement up. Take a lesson from Ben and his herpes rant!

  74. I don’t believe #1. I don’t believe it. No. It can’t be. I.. just… no, I don’t believe it. That had to be a group of people trying to be funny.

  75. Who's That Girl?

    @ Purple Apple – I agree with the PC African American statements completely! And thanks for calling me “uncreative”. (I would insert smiley here to show a joking mannerism, but sad to say I don’t know how)

  76. @54 (bollywood)- you should just tell them “yeah i have elephants AND lions! cool huh?” i think people who are that ignorant should be given sarcastic replies to their stupid questions.

  77. This is going to sound mean, but if these are true, Melissa and Sandriana (god that’s a stupid name) need to just die. They are far too stupid to be successful in life, and will more than likely spawn utterly moronic children.

  78. It’s this kind of thing that makes me think the hunan race is doomed!

  79. Ah, Americans. The retards of the world.

  80. Who's That Girl?

    @ uRaRetard – That’s “ra-tard” to you, thank you very much!

  81. Ah, uRaRetard. The non-reader of Lamebook.

    …The previous comments clearly establish that the first set of retards is from any country BUT the US. This isn’t a country thing, really.

  82. Melissa is dumb not only for thinking that Africa is a country, but also for not having the sense to see how retarded it is to think that, and actually admitting it on her status.

  83. license to drive… license to run a business… license to hunt… but raising the future population of the world… oh, anyone can pop those suckers out and negect them

  84. @ uRaRetard

    gotta feel for the rest of the world getting out produced and dominated in might by a bunch of retards

  85. MsBuzzkillington

    Is learnt a word? I mean seriously.. is it a word? Or is it like one of those British things were they spell things differently?

    Because I am sick of seeing words like learnt and spelt.

  86. The world is turning yellow … it won’t matter how poorly educated Americans there are in 100 years.

  87. *many

  88. Ah, Aslaska – the lisp island.

  89. MsBuzz… Are you trying to kill off my point?

    “Learnt” is the proper way to spell what you would think of as “learned” when you’re in any country but America. I’m pretty sure Wikipedia has an entry on it if you would like to learn more.

  90. Oh …so ‘d’s sound like ‘t’s in other countries …interesting.

  91. @mcowles: awesome idea xD Guess I’ll set up a ‘THIS IS WHAT BEN MEANS’ blogspot :P

  92. MonkeyCMonkeyDo

    @ mass no silly… there is no “ed” – instead a “t” is added… makes the word sound softer – at least I think so.

    I heard that statistic on Jay Leno when he walked up to random people on the street, named a country, and asked them to point it out. He used US a lot. You’d be amazed at how many people (like someone before me said) points to Australia and/or the wholeeeee continent of Africa! silly lot!

  93. @MonkeyC thanks for being nice. I guess my question is why not ‘lernd’?

    Rick Mercer did something similar to Jay Walking … backs up your comment.

    play safe

  94. Back to the PC discussion above…I had a girl get PISSED at me because I used the word “mexican”. She told me I was racist. I was literally referring to someone’s heritage, like “I have a mexican friend” or something of the sort. I could not convince her that it isn’t racist to refer to someone’s nationality. Ughh

  95. @howdy what would she have preferred? Seriously, I don’t see a foul there.

  96. Whatever happened to Ben, anyways? He just kinda vanished after the anal raping of his pride and ego and such…..I wonder how that hospital thing is working out for him…..

  97. Oops…apparently Ben showed up in Holy Matrimony. Teach me to go backwards through lamebook……

  98. Who gives a fuck about Ben..malteaser rules. The ‘candy’ itself is horrible but the man behind the moniker … reserved like no other.

  99. I registered just to say that I went 20 years without knowing Alaska was attached. Look at most maps and it’s on it’s own… lol There’s no excuse for her spelling though :)

  100. Jesus, I hope I don’t raise any stupid ass kids like Melissa.

  101. haywiee? really?

  102. krasivaya_devushka

    Who the fuck is Ben? You Lamebook-ers are so hard to keep up with!!!

    Anyways, these dumb bitches need to be slapped! :)

  103. CommentsAtLarge

    You know, I’d love to say I’m surprised by this, but I’ve been a victim of it first-hand. I’m from Chicago and someone once asked me where it was. Thought it was wierd they didn’t know, being that it’s such a large city and they were American, not foreign. Told them it was the largest city in Illinois and they replied “In Illinois… how can that be, isn’t Chicago a state?”

    I hoped they were being sarcastic. They weren’t.

  104. My high school never taught geography at all but as a little kid I had my own atlas, and since we lived in a pretty isolated place with nothing else to do, I looked at that atlas nearly every day. Unfortunately, you just can’t rely on schools to teach kids anything.

  105. @mass
    She was telling me to say Hispanic, which is right for a generalized term, but I was talking about someone actually from mexico…hence Mexican. I don’t know she was a little off I guess haha

  106. Uzbekistan= U country

    Also, most US maps that are used to teach the names of the states in Elementary schools these days are maps of just the country with Alaska and Hawaii shown in there own little boxes next to each other in one of the lower corners. For example, this one. So I can see someone who hasn’t had many geography classes, and doesn’t look at atlases for fun might think they are next to each other. However, there is no excuse for the spelling. Also, the “Africa is one country girl,” is almost certainly not American.

  107. Oh my gracious Melissa is SO stupid. Of course Africa is country it’s all over the news DUHHHHH. They just have a president for each city cuz there is so much shit to do. Melissa totally must be one of those dumb little girls who love Edward LOL wat a gay boi! Jacob is SO much hotter. I want to bone Twilight! Excpet not that homo Edward haha what a dumb!!!

  108. @ Blaziken

    I hope you were being sarcastic there about Africa. Cause that is hilarious hahahaha

  109. #2 She’s in New York doing an internship (from Australia) and it’s been well advertised on her facebook for a while ..

  110. lostintranslation

    @mccowles #45: you win the internet. I’m still giggling about your ninja comment :)

    I once went to the Philadelphia zoo, and there was an “African Safari” section, complete with a large sign that proclaimed: “Did you know?? Africa is *not* just one country!” So while Melissa may not be American, such ignorance is alive and well in that part of the world too. In fact, I once convinced a guy from Kentucky that I was part of a head-hunting tribe, and definitely convinced a number of people in Philadelphia that in Africa we ride elephants to school and live in tents… Messing with ignorant people is fun! :)

  111. @lostintranslation

    Sweet, I’ve been trying to win the internet for AGES!

  112. I am guessing Melissa is one of those people that think Zimbabwe and South Africa are the same things? I want to strangle people that say if you are Zimbabwean then you are from South Africa as though I don’t know where I come from.

    End of rant.

  113. @Gannet

    There are so many Zimbabweans in South Africa they might just as well be the same country.

  114. I’d like to do a little survey of my own: how many of you have ever heard of Barbados?

  115. krasivaya_devushka

    This is so sad. American schools need to focus more on geography! I am from Europe, but now living in the U.S., and I had one of my co-workers ask me if I came here by train. Hahahah! I’ll never forget how serious she actually was when she asked me that question.

    @ poster #114 – Are you serious?

  116. I hate #1 and #3 with the firey burning passion of a thousand firey burning things.

  117. Melissa has been officially added to my growing list of people who should be rounded up for either animal testing or point-blank rifling. Preferably in the head. What a ignorant, oxygen-stealing, resource-depleting waste of space.

  118. *Of course, ‘a ignorant’ should read ‘an ignorant’. The trouble when you’re ragingly typing.

  119. bollywood_rocks83

    bulbasaur: I have and have friends from that. Are they still called “Antigua and Barbados” or did the islands split up the name?

  120. Okay, the first one has to be fake! I understand what @106 said about the map having Hawaii and Alaska pasted in, but how can you not know what your own country looks like and that Africa is not 1 country? Seriously.

    I’m not gonna offend anybody by saying ALL Americans are idiots, but you (Americans) have to admit, these post do NOTHING for your world reputation.

  121. I used to think France was a country and then I found out it is a Sanitarium.

  122. I’m pretty sure the first one’s for real and I’m pretty sure it’s someone from UK, due to excessive and unnecessary xx at the end of every comment. My friend from greater Manchester area can’t write anything without an x or xx at the end. He wasn’t sure what continent my country was on and I thought “OK, he works in a car repair place…” but then someone with an actual university degree confused my funny little country with one of the biggest barely-inhabited areas in the world and that was a bit too much. I am not saying that UK is full of people like that, just that they exist!

    @From RSA: These people will get confused when the World Cup is on, there are two countries with almost identical names.

    @lostintranslation: That one really, really made me go WTF! O_o

  123. @Mhn77
    I am so tired of people ALWAYS assuming that posts from idiots like Melissa are in the United States. We are not the only English speaking country that has people named Melissa, Lucy, Sarah, and Matt. Nowhere in this post is any hint even given as to Melissa’s geographical location.
    As for the Alaska/Hawaii post, again no hint is given as to where this goofball is. I am sure we aren’t the only country that learns the names of the States.
    I personally would appreciate it if you would not jump to that conclusion. There are stupid people in every country in the world, and MANY of them post here. You can’t just assume a ridiculously idiotic post comes from an American.
    Thank you!

  124. I’m ashamed that my name is Mellissa… before I was just annoyed that I would tell doctors, etc my mom chose to spell it differently and they would still spell it the normal way. now I want to change it to another name entirely. but eventually there would be a stupid girl with that name on LB. damned if I do and damned if I don’t.

  125. bollywood, I think you’re thinking of Barbuda.

    and krasivaya_devushka, sadly.

  126. @123 nick
    You’re absolutely right. I shouldn’t do that. My bad.

    It’s just that in my personal experience with coming from a small (not African) country, it’s only Americans who didn’t know my country. Even people I’ve talked to in India and Asia have known. So I’m probably a little quick to assume geography isn’t your (American’s) strong suit. I’ll do better in the future.

    But you kinda proved my comment right by being an American not on Melissa’s level, where ever she might be from :)

  127. Some of you people are bigger idiots than the folks in the post about Africa. These people are using “British English.” They’re not American. No American says “realise” and “learnt” unless they’re of the “sophisticated” American type and have adopted the British spelling of words for whatever reason, and I’m fairly sure that no American who has done that is so painfully ignorant about geography.

  128. Okay, stupidity isn’t an American phenomenon so let’s just get that out of the way. We just happen to have a greater concentration of stupidity, yes. It’s not all stupidity though. It’s not so much idiocy as ignorance that gives us such a bad reputation with the rest of the world. Especially where I live, there seems to be a lot of anti-intellectualism floating around. It’s true that our education system has been… lacking in recent years, but we can’t place all the blame there. The resources are available, but some REALLY aren’t taking advantage of them.

    And as far as education: we know what we know and that’s ALL that we know. There aren’t too many people who question, unfortunately and that’s how one remains ignorant…

  129. I have encountered people who thought Africa was a country, and someone who was surprised when they were shown where Egypt was on a map, so I can definitely believe these posts. I’m going to be honest though, some of the countries on the African continent I’ve never heard of. I was looking it over just a couple of weeks ago and saw Eritrea, and just said “Where the hell did that come from?!” And I consider my geographical knowledge quite sound. I despair for mankind when I see/hear things like this though :(

  130. I think we have to remember that these kids making the posts are just that… they’re kids! Kids go to school to learn these things that aren’t obvious from watching (EURO-CENTRIC) TV and reading American teeny-bopper magazines. As has been stated a few times already, many people refer to people from the continent of Africa as “African”. It’s weird. No one refers to me as North American. So, it’s easy to see how a child could be confused over something like that.

    There is actually a wonderful workshop designed for kids that I had in my classroom entitled: “Africa is NOT a Country”. It was great, because although I have students from Ghana and Somalia in my class many kids didn’t realize that *REAL* technology exists on the continent. It was very educational and fun at the same time.

    Speaking of my students… many of my students have Fb accounts and they’re only 9 and 10! I also know that some of their younger siblings have accounts… So, although the post shows what many of you perceive as a little girl’s “ignorance”, it also shows that she has learned something new. THAT is a positive thing.

  131. @KathleenOne


  132. Sadly, I know a couple of grown women (around 40) who had no idea that Alaska was far NORTH of the continental US because all the kid’s puzzle maps show Alaska in a cut-away box near Hawaii. I had to explain it to them. Slowly. And repeatedly. They said it’s stupid that map companies put it where they do. *facepalm*

  133. I know people like makes my heart hurt..

    -Gods investment in you (His son!) was SO great, he could never abandon you!-

  134. Elixabeth, cut it out. You’re annoying.

  135. no seriously this kind of ignorance is not acceptable!!!!
    yeah Kenya is a town with over 40 milllion citizens…n yeah the towns in Africa are pretty big too…

  136. ryennocerousrex

    Haywiee? Jesus.

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