Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Mommy’s Handsome Man


Mommy's Handsome Man

“I wish people would hate war the way they hate this post. It would be a better world.”

Personal Information:  The Lamebook editor writing this review thinks that Johnny Cool is kind of a douche.  According to his mom it’s not cool to brag … even in third person.

With his clever wit, hilarious commentary, and defiance of his mom’s advice, it makes sense for him to bash on this tool for what he has posted under his Personal Information.  He’s often seen hunched over a keyboard flaunting his typing skills both in and out of the office.

He’s young, web-savvy and cooks a mean Cup O Noodles. Look for this up and coming cheese-dick hater to be crowned Wired’s Sexiest Blogger Alive.

♥ The Editors

previous post: Giving Blonde



  1. The “read less” link at the bottom could not be more perfect.

  2. Yeah I wish I could unread all of that douchebaggery.

  3. And to think that I’m the only one who walks this earth with a passion for black iPod nanos…

  4. No, Drew… I too have a deep hidden passion for black iPod nanos.

    The question is, can he cook the noodles? Marinara is pretty worthless on its own…

  5. Why do I keep picturing Milhouse VanHouten?

  6. Is PEOPLE an acronym, or does he just find it THAT important?

  7. I really can’t believe there are people out there like this. This is the stuff of legends…horrible douche bag legends.

  8. Johnny has been invited to the Herpfest many times. He has decided to attend each time he has been invited.

  9. yeah, i definitely want to read less.

  10. Sweet Bottoms Up.

    Thanks Mom.

    I love how he measured his datability. xD

  11. This is a great example of why I almost wish the Atomic Bomb had been invented prior to the Civil War.

  12. But then we would be deprived of comedy in its natural habitat. So, in retrospect. I’m glad the South survived and thinks it will rise again.

  13. Haha, passions include his black iPod nano?

    If that ever makes my top 3 on my list of passions, I hope one of my friends shoots me.

  14. sounds like somebody’s mommy created a facebook page for her big boy

  15. Am I the only one who thinks that he is just being sarcastic? I bet he’s fat and ugly and it’s a joke…

  16. I think its actually funny… I think its meant to be funny… don’t look too hard people, you might strain something – like your general feelings of superiority.

  17. Yeah, I’m pretty sure it was a joke. like I was going to change all my info to crap like “Interests: GiRlZ!1, racin mah sooped HOnDAAA, chuggin beerz w da brodogs” etc.

    because its funny

  18. “According to his mom …”
    LMFAO … douchebag!

  19. Huh… I didn’t realize that Matthew McConaughey’s real first name is Johnny.

    @Droz – You don’t spend a lot of time on comment boards do you? Or the internet in general for that matter…

  20. Jordan, you’re a douchebag. Nobody in the South thinks we’re going to rise again. Nobody down here wishes we won the Civil War. You think Johnny Douche’s doucheness is isolated to Mississippi? Or the South? I’ve never seen anyone south of the mason-dixon line with fake tans and gelled hair, so do me a favor and get down off your high horse. Cocksucker

  21. James, Fuckin’ thanks man.

    Jordan, kill yourself.

  22. The ‘world would be a better place’ quote is Muhammad Ali.

  23. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you pretentiousness personified.

  24. i’ve taken dumps less annoying than johnny

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