Friday, October 8, 2010

Mile High Rub

previous post: FANtastic Friday!



  1. This is pretty fücked up. I mean if she opened the door and he was taking a shít I’d say that’d be a lot worse, especially if you could see his genitals and the log coming out.

  2. I love that he thinks it’s supposedly the aeroplane part that’s the ‘bad’ part, not the fact that he was caught wanking by a kid.

  3. If we let people jerk off in an airplane bathroom, the terrorists have won.

  4. If that’s what the terrorists have been fighting for then I’ve been on the wrong side.

  5. so jason did the helicopter on a ‘plane;
    that’s meta-aviation – a first for human flight!

  6. ugh, some parents are way too uptight! so the kid saw a penis… It wasn’t like poor Jason was trying to RAPE the child!

  7. Alord it is definitely not a first, I imagine…

  8. Can’t you wait though? LOL

  9. Boring.

  10. What kind of name is Oseas?

  11. I think what you do in the bathroom is your business. As long as you aren’t like, breaking the law or anything. It’ll be dismissed, unless the judge has a personal issue with this kind of thing.

  12. as for Lee’s comment, is it even possible to masturbate unintentionally?

  13. I’ve heard too much masturbation leads to spelling it ‘masterbation’.

  14. @#10 Oseas is the Spanish for Hosea.

  15. I REALLY want to know what the in-flight movie was on that flight.

  16. @12

    He was talking about intentionally/unintentionally leaving the door unlocked.

  17. @ 12 – Lee was referring to the problem of the unlocked door. He was saying that they would have to prove that Jason intentionally left the door unlocked, anticipating that someone would catch him.

  18. I want to masturbate on a plane. :-)

  19. Wonder what the reaction would be if it had been a young woman in the restroom and a father and son walked in. Would’nt go to court, it’d be the best story he’d have.

  20. Couldn’t he have just covered by screaming, “What’s wrong with you?! Why are you barging in on strangers using the bathroom, you pervert?! CPS! POLICE!”.

    Of course he’d have to stop jerking it while he said that for the ruse to work.

  21. My favorite part is that Lee’s boss knew about the legality of it. Story time anyone?…..

  22. @21 I also like how Lee was checking facebook at work, and that his boss just popped in over his shoulder and weighed in on the problem.

  23. dirtylittlepretty

    I have NEVER seen a man masturbate, and thought he was ‘waving his dick around.’

  24. The weirdest thing about the whole situation (besides the wanking on a plane) is the mother’s reaction. If that was me, *especially* if I had a kid with me, as soon as I saw someone in the BR I would slam the door shut and walk calmly back to me seat.

    What kind of freak has a kid with her, catches a guy with his dick in his hand, and decides the best course of action is to berate him?

  25. @15:
    Snakes on a plane.

  26. at #s 16-17… your comments are too logical and boring. Lee probably isn’t guilty of indecent exposure as a matter of law. taking this out of context was the only thing that made this post worth reading.

  27. ^ i mean Jason.

  28. ” …your comments are too logical and boring.” lol :-)

    I like Lee’s boss

  29. @26

    Couldn’t you have made some grammatical errors so I could have taken a cheap shot at them instead of having to come up with an actual comeback? This saddens me. :D

  30. Violet Sometimes

    “it’s not illegal.. it’s frowned upon…”

    i cannot BELIEVER no one has made that reference yet. =]

  31. @23 ahhahaha oh god but i did once – that’s exactly what it looked like

  32. Damn it violet! I was going to say the same thing!!!!

  33. buckle_up, yeah, you made me smile. Ain’t much else to smile about on this post.

    dirtylittlepretty, agreed. I know guys all masturbate in their own way, but by “waving your dick everywhere”? Hmmm, no, I don’t think so. But then again, maybe some do…

    Only the boys on here can answer that one. I’m sure they won’t, though. Cowards.

  34. I never indulge in the Sin of Onan. I go to prostitutes instead.

  35. On a serious note, that’s bull. How are you going to walk in on someone masturbating and then call the cops? What he did was not illegal.

  36. If I had a dong and intended to do that, I would wear sweatpants, ask for a blanket, and do it in subtle strokes.

    Damn you hole…damn you. Someone correct me if I’m wrong, but it seems that it would be easier for a guy to do it than a girl. because we have to spread a bit and dig right in, rather than it pointing up to salute and assist us. No spread necessary for them, really.

    I agree with you antiaphrodite, he WAS in public, per say. But in the closed vicinity of a bathroom, an area that provides privacy.

  37. Keona, I’m pretty sure it would be easier for us to be incognito.

  38. The ‘waving of the dick’ discussion reminds me of the movie ‘Bruno’, with the focus group. That scene was one of the craziest, as one should expect in an SBC film.

    Also, I don’t think the boss knew Lee was on FB, but that he went to his boss (probably a lawyer) for some ‘hypothetical’ advice…and then had to show his FB as proof so his boss wouldn’t think he was a pervert lmao

  39. Keona and Junebug, I was going to suggest an experiment but I thought “No Pedant, I know you’re bored but rein it in”
    A rare moment of self-restraint from me. I’m quite proud.

  40. *claps* Congrats, you oldgit. It’s a step in the right direction.

  41. Thanks, the doctors say I might be allowed out for a walk around the grounds soon.

  42. Let me know when they allow you. I’ll book a flight over there for a visit and moral support.

  43. I’ll let you know. I’m not allowed visitors at the moment, what with the restraints and the hockey mask and having to type with a pencil held in my teeth.
    I realise that’s just a saturday night for most of you but it’s life for me :(

  44. That reminds me that Halloween is coming up soon. I’ll be putting up an LB worthy post yet again.

    “hay gaiz…guess what I’m going to beee? An unemployed nurrseee….”

    It’s lame, because it’s my job. -.- Rather, lack of.
    I’ve misplaced the stethoscope and blood pressure cuff.

  45. Keona, we have the problem of what to do with the copious amount of stuff that comes out soaking our pants afterward. I am pretty sure you women wouldn’t have nearly as much liquid come out.
    As to the ‘waving it around,’ I wouldn’t put it past some people. None of you have heard of the helicopter?

  46. The madphysicist speaks the truth. With girls it is fairly localised, with guys it can go anywhere. I’ve nearly clownflowered myself more then once

  47. mad, that’s what I was thinking of in #37.

  48. You would have to take some absorbent cloth and stick it down your pants, then extract and stow it without being seen…

  49. @mad2 Not that one, but I have heard of meatspin.

    @coldgit clownflowered actually disabled me from reading for awhile. I’ve heard a lot of strange words from other countries, but never clownflowered. :<

  50. Nevermind, good old google/ urban dictionary.
    I fear I will now be so disabled, I will have to join coldgit on the grounds with the guards, and doctors.

  51. Wow. I’m gonna call Lee for all my legal advice from now on. That guys seems pretty on the ball.

  52. Nice!!!

  53. Keona, I aim to please. As it were.

  54. for the ladies…

  55. works quite well on those long overseas flights… :-D

  56. Oseas doesn’t know what a question mark is?

  57. In my experience, a man masturbating in his aeroplane is a hideously unsubtle thing, and by ‘iin my experience’, I obviously mean ‘not in my experience’.

  58. And by ‘his aeroplane’ I mean ‘his aeroplane seat’. If I could afford my own aeroplane, wanking would be the least of my worries.

  59. I think a man who could afford his own aeroplane could also afford at least one woman to go with him and alleviate the need for self-wanking.

  60. I’m trying to decide if self-wanking is a redundancy.
    I’ll do some research and submit my findings at a later date

  61. most definitely not a redundancy …. you guys look hot doing it. so long as you’re not “waving it around” ;)

  62. I didn’t mean the activity, I meant the phrase.

  63. ‘Wanking’ can, as I have heard it used, refer to another person giving the man a handjob, as well as to autoerotic pleasuring, so to speak. Thus, ‘self-wanking’ is not redundant.

  64. Sorry, got to call you on that one. If it refers to “Auto-erotic” activity, then the ‘self’ is redundant.
    And, speaking as an englishmen, where the phrase originated, I’ve never heard self-waning used. Ever.
    if you think I’m being pedantic, that’s my name!

  65. I am HIGHLY pro-pedantry! And I agree that if it refers only to auto-erotic activity then ‘self’ is clearly redundant. However, I do not believe ‘wank’ only refers to autoerotic activity.
    For evidence: My wife watched an interview with Kiera Knightly on the filming of Atonement. Knightly said that during the love scene, she was instructed to ‘wank it!’ by the director, apparently in reference to doing something to her lover. Thus ‘self-wanking’ would not be redundant.
    I admit that otherwise, I’ve only ever heard ‘to wank’ used to refer to self-stimulation. And perhaps I misunderstood what I was told about Knightly’s report of what the director said to do.

  66. I believe it is quite appropriate to the digital manipulation of another person as ‘wanking’ however I don’t believe you need to add the word ‘self’ when referring to your own masturbation. It is acceptable to use the word ‘wank’ without any prefix, regardless of whether you are referring to yourself or another person.

  67. that is meant to read ‘to refer to’

  68. If you look in the dictionary Wank is defined as a) manipulation of the genitals by hand to achieve sexual climax (having a wank) or b) Anything written by Dan Brown eg The Da Vinci Code was a huge pile of wank

  69. Perhaps I was mistaken in thinking that the ‘hand’ in ‘by hand’ could be someone else’s (e.g. ‘My wife gave me a wank in the car’). My point stands regardless. A man rich enough to own a plane could easily afford to bring along a woman to provide manual or other stimulation instead of having to give himself a wank.
    I am glad to see another person who thinks Brown is full of shít.

  70. I think the difference, and it is subtle, is that you can have a wank and someone else can wank you off.

    I’m staying classy today.

  71. Bunch of wankers.

  72. Ah, the voice of experience when it comes to digital dexterity in the bathing suit area

  73. A thread about wanking. Thank you sweet baby Jeebus.

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