Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Merry Mary

previous post: Smart Moves



  1. ben!

  2. I got it after the “out” comment. Seriously, wasn’t it obvious to everyone at that point?

  3. Ok not everyone might pick it up that fast but Kelsey is a special kind of challenged.

  4. Why do people insist on conducting their relationships (or their demise) on fb? I just don’t get it. It’s like couples who post messages on each other’s walls, even though they live in the same house.

    I kinda think Mary is a bitch. Not sure why, I just get that impression.

  5. @gingivitis, i’ve got a computer in my “computer room” and one hooked to my TV in the living room. on occasion my wife will be in the computer room on FB so i’ll hop on the one connected to the TV and send her messages or post comments, because i find it funny.

    of course, people who actually communicate that way are stupid

  6. I agree gingivitis. People should keep their dirty laundry in the basket. This seems like a very immature way to handle this situation. Although, I like Austin for his ‘blastoff’, that made me chuckle.

  7. As long as it’s funny, I don’t mind. But when people send ones about how much they love each other and how great their relationship is, or how terrible it is, it is annoying. There are some things that should be saved for private messages. Or even an actual conversation.

  8. If I were Chris I would have ruined her fun by posting it himself, since it was going down anyway . . . No pun intended. But whatever.

  9. krasivaya_devushka

    Well said, gingivitis! I completely agree.

  10. Double whammy, she outed her boyfriend and HIS boyfriend in one fell swoop! I agree with gingivitis, this falls under the personal/private category. I’m glad so many people lack any decorum of modesty, it gives the rest of us something to laugh at!

  11. @Engels: I know he did, but he should have given the details so she wouldn’t have had that satisfaction.

  12. I actually feel bad for Chris. Cheating on Mary sucks, but he’s obviously been having issues with his sexuality and that bitch has just made it a thousand times worse for him.

    The blastoff thing was kinda funny though. Poor Chris.

  13. I just really hope he didn’t brush his teeth between taking a load kissing her when he got back from the three days.

  14. Personally I think Mary wins. I’m a homophobe anyway, so Chris had it coming to him, to pull a stunt like that.

  15. As someone who plays for both teams i just don’t understand your attitude Wonderbread. Could you please explain your homophobia?

  16. Mary’s a pathetic bitch. Outing someone is just gross. I’m sure she’ll get sympathy from her homophobic friends, but this will come back to bite her in the ass one day. All that said, Chris also sucks for cheating.

  17. StandardDeviation

    I don’t find this funny; it’s just harassment :/

  18. wow that sucks. I think what Mary did is wrong because sexuality is a very private issue, nevertheless this is what you get for cheating. It is obvious she was living with him, so technically she lost 9 months of her life, she is right to be pissed off about it. Yes things could have gone smoother, Chris shouldn’t have been an asshole and “find out” he was gay when he had male cum all over his face (at which point it seems he wasn’t totally sure because Mary had to find out about it through other means other than Chris telling her about it), and Mary shouldn’t have been a total bitch about it and made this public.

    I guess all we can do is learn from this, if you cheat be prepared for the consequences.

  19. YoinksTranslator

    If I where a girl and my boyfriend would cheat on me with another guy I’d rather be embarrassed myself.. I mean Chris has nothing to be ashamed of, apparently Mary is the one who can’t deliver..

  20. she’s like ross from friends, only reversed.

  21. YoinksTranslator

    where = would be (sorry I’m not English lol)

    /Translation fail

  22. I was totally honest about letting guys goo on my face while my girlfriend was away, and she still got pissed. You can’t win.

  23. @Schiuma

    I find the idea of another guy’s you-know-what anywhere near my you-know-what repulsive, personally. Also it’s something I believe is wrong, but we don’t want to go there…

  24. Just because Chris is gay doesn’t mean he gets a pass for cheating on his GF. If he is getting loads blown on his face, he’s not confused anymore. He should have left her or not been with other people.

    I support anybody that outs cheaters on FB. It let’s all family and friends what a dirtball the cheater is.

  25. Don’t worry, I would expect a few slips from you considering you need to translate what yoink himself writes. That’s tough business there. I consider myself an employee in that department.

  26. krasivaya_devushka

    Yoink is m.i.a. today.
    YoinksTranslator, you must be bored with nothing to do.

  27. @soup. too true.
    @wonderbread. Fair enough. I’ll leave it alone except to say to say “penis”. Get a grip man.
    @skinner. I agree with you that there should be no free pass there but it really is an individuals choice to out themselves. I think that outweighs spreading the word on the unfaithful.

  28. I’m gay myself, and I don’t get why everyone’s so hung up on, “That’s not cool of her, outing him like that, it’s private”.

    He cheated, he was idiot about it and instead of telling her, he maintained communication with this guy on FB, so he got what he had coming to him.

    She should have gone one step further, actually, and gotten a screenshot of their conversation and post *that*. That would’ve taken it from “Good job, Mary”, to “Freakin’ sweet payback, M-Dog”.

  29. I have no pity for the unfaithful. If you want to screw someone else, at least man up and break it off with whomever you are currently with.

  30. Who do I hate more in this status? So many to choose from.

    When will you people learn? Keep your shit off Facebook. Nobody gives a fuck about your relationship, and the only people that actually DO don’t even have a clue what the hell is going on.

  31. *Aplauds MasterProp*

    Damn right that screenshot woulda been funny!

  32. 1. Sharing all your crap on Facebook – immature.

    2. Cheating – Agree with MasterProp, NO pity for ‘em.

    3. Giving a shit about any of this – don’t these people have anything better to do?

    4. Me – who’s the real loser here? These guys, or me for reading and bitching about it? (It’s all of the above.)

  33. MasterProp. I wouldnt have a problem outing someone like that in my circle of friends as cheating is cheating and there are bad diseases out there. It’s just not everyone can deal with homosexuality and it’s a dismal thing to be judged on ones preferance for the one eyed trouser snake or badly packed kebabs. I dont like the idea of queering (pun intended) someones friendships over that.

  34. YoinksTranslator

    @nuff: Thanks =) I consider you hired at, but beware, the pay isn’t that good. The work hours are great though!
    @krasivaya_devushka: You can’t even imagine how bored I am.

  35. but the screen shot would have been awesome.

  36. Meh. schiuma, i was doing it for the a failed attempt humor. I’m not scared to say dick. =D

  37. i agree with masterprop

  38. How do you know that krasivaya? Do you know yoink personally? I’ve noticed that he usually shows up a few hours from now considering he is probably still doing his carpenter work. Maybe he’s Jesus! Or Jesus’ dyslexic brother who nobody knows about?

  39. YoinksTranslator

    Nuff I’ve got three words for you: lol

  40. im playin futebal wit yoink this eventing.

    he is in net lol.

  41. krasivaya_devushka

    @nuff, lol no I don’t? I’m just assuming that since he’s been gone all day.

  42. If you’re going to stalk someone, you have to do better than just assume. I try to learn from the best, right Soup?

  43. You have some growing up to do Mary, regardless of your age.

  44. bollywood_rocks83

    As someone with experience in this department, I say props to Mary. Like some people said, get some balls and break it off BEFORE you cheat. Just because you’re gay,bisexual or questioning doesn’t give you a pass to “experiment” or “not hide who you are”. I don’t want you to hide who you are but do it AFTER you break things off with the other person.
    It is selfish of bisexual(he may be bisexual not gay)people to think that asking them to not sleep around is asking them to go back into the closet.

    Rant over. Mary, you get my vote. In my case, I outed the guy to his parents. If he doesn’t want to hide who he is, he should be able to tell his family.

  45. mary is immature, but christopher is a sinner and going to hell for being gay so she still comes out ahead

  46. Since when is watching porn and shooting a load on a buddy’s face cheating and gay?

    That type of activity falls squarely under the “boys will be boys” category…

  47. “I hope they serve beer in hell.”

    As long as they got that down there, I don’t think it matters how many chris chokes on. Morals win here, and chris lost big time (he is probably heading down that highway regardless of being gay).

  48. Let’s be honest; Mary’s a bitch and deserved to be cheated on.

    @ Bollywood_Rocks83 “Mary, you get my vote. In my case, I outed the guy to his parents. If he doesn’t want to hide who he is, he should be able to tell his family.”

    That’s SO wrong, and you’re an asshole.

    @ Dan_Fargis: See above message.

  49. +1 to Commenters 29 and 44. You want to screw someone else, then at least have the sense to break up with your current partner before doing so. Otherwise all bets are off. Well done, Mary!

  50. i woodnt want a man to cum on my face man that is sick as bad as that sick dude fucked the dog in the anas why peple sain hes gay wen he had a gf an oviusly fucked a chik at sum poynt?

  51. lots of the gay lay pipe to chicks either they are in gaynial or they’re trying to hide their sins with a beard. either way, god will punish them and their impure thoughts and sinful actions

  52. Whatever happened to BritishHobette?

  53. @dan_fargis

    I’m sure you’re not gay but I’m even more sure that God doesn’t like you.

  54. na they dunt need punshin if ur gay ur gay thats cool but be a propa gay hav sex wiv men an luv men cos sumtims peple luv peple tha over peple fink u shodnt but as long as u luv em its alrite but dunt hav sex wiv a man an a womin cus thats fuckin up peples hopes its like bein a playa but playin wiv bofe tipes iver be gay or be strate dunt fuck wiv bofe

  55. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Fuck monogamy.

  56. If he was on facebook talking about porn, making out, and cumming on each other’s faces, then she’s not the one who outed him.

  57. y dukey? y wud ya need ta fuck more an one person if u doin it rite wiv that one ya woodnt need to go fuck sumone else jus dunt so the sam fing al the tym change now n then so its like ya fuckin sumone a bit difrent that jus looks the same an stil noes wat u like

  58. Hey yoink…Did you get your education from the back of a cereal box? Holy crap. Now people even type in Ebonics. It’s a good thing the cash registers @ McDonald’s don’t have text keys! Speak English you moron!

  59. iam speekin english u fucktard donkey dunt tak it out on me that ur electrisity went wen henry was noshin ya

  60. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    jake24lt you fuckwad, he isn’t typing in ebonics, did you get your englich recognizing education from a cereal box? He is from “norf england”

  61. “i woodnt want a man to cum on my face man that is sick as bad as that sick dude fucked the dog in the anas why peple sain hes gay wen he had a gf an oviusly fucked a chik at sum poynt?”


    The idea of a man coming on my face is as disgusting as the man who screwed the pooch and gave it a prolapsed anus. Also, while on this topic, why would people say he is gay when he had heterosexual tendencies to begin with?He did have a girlfriend after all who he had sex with (that happened to enjoy smelling his dick and developed a fecal dog fetish).

    Indeed, he isn’t gay. He just enjoys bestiality yoink.

  62. Three questions:

    1. Who’s Henry?

    2. What’s noshin?

    3. Where’s Waldo?

  63. @jake24lt – People have typed in ebonics for almost as long as the internet has been around.

    @nuff – If you’re going to translate yoink’s ramblings into proper English, try to use proper grammar. “He did have a girlfriend after all who he had sex with” should be “After all, he had a girlfriend with whom he had sex”

    1. Henry was a King of England
    2. Noshin’ means performing oral sex on a male
    3. Waldo is probably in hell, as his choice of clothing leads me to believe he is a homosexual.

  64. na nuff i meen the guy that cumd on the guys face i no the bestality one anit gay unles the dog was a blok to an he injoyd getin it bak of him an that relly makes me wanna bukitfil

  65. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Yoink, if I have to “try” to keep the sex new,then I might as well go out and get some actual new sex. And if I want the girl to know what I like in bed, then I tell her what I like in bed. Though sex for me is mostly about what the girl wants, I get off on her getting off (so to speak).

    Besides, the cost benefit ratio on (sexually exclusive) relationships has never been worth it to me. So if you don’t mind I will stick to open relationships. I don’t think people should cheat, but I don’t love monogamy either. And that’s the end of that chapter.

  66. naaaa henrys the hoova

  67. in God’s eyes, homosexuality, bestiality and pedophilia are all equivalent so both the dog-fornicator and the homosexual are going to hell with penises which smell of feces

  68. ya can keep it nu tho an it anit that hard

  69. Jake24lt, that’s why we have hired translators you fuckaroon.

    That’s a disgusting thought yoink, I would want to puke in a bucket as well.

  70. LMAO fuckaroon! And nicely done up there nuff with the translation.

    Yoink, what’s a hoova? Henry the hoova?

    Dan, are you joking with all your posts?

  71. @dan_fargis

    No one has ever shown me the passage of the Bible that says “oh, btw, I (God) aint lettin’ no butt pirates into heaven, no way, no how!”

    Can you, please? I want to hate gay people also, but I need to see God’s exact references. I hope you’re right, though… cuz I’m damn sick of them hugging and loving each other and wanting equal rights simply because they’re human beings.

  72. RE: 54: I… I have to admit… I agree with you, yoink. Wow.

    And henry, as I read it, was receiving genital stimulation from a vacuum hose, right, yoink?

  73. dans a big racest fagot an ye ya rite nuff kacks a fuckaroon he finks hes so cleva an yea katy henry tha hoova he cant get enuff of the cheecy lil smil an big eyes whil the pipes hangin of his croch

  74. @mcowles – I do not hate the homosexuals, as I love all of God’s children. It is not for me to punish homosexuals for their lurid acts. That’s God’s job, and the Bible is quite clear as to what will happen to men who lay with men.

  75. dans a big racest an ye ya rite nuff kacks a fuckaroon he finks hes so cleva an yea katy henry tha hoova he cant get enuff of the cheecy lil smil an big eyes whil the pipes hangin of his croch

  76. it sed my coment was modiraton

  77. dan_fargis, so what does the Bible say about girls laying with girls? I’d like to know so I can tell my sister what to expect in her afterlife.

  78. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Actually the bible says that all sins are equal so that would mean that pen stealing, eye fucking Meagan Fox, “no honey you don’t look fat in those jeans” and any minor sin should be regarded with equal disgust(christianitywise) as being gay. Oh and wait, the bible also says that “All have sinned and fallen short of his glory” so everyone get ready to suck cock.

  79. yoink – I’m not a “racest”. As I said, people are free to sin but they will be spending eternity in Hell for their actions

  80. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Good luck to the moderators who get to review Yoink’s comment..

  81. ul be spendin an iternity in hell so the devil can punsh u for bein homifobic by shovin his tridant repetitedly up ur ass

  82. Yoink – as I clearly said in my earlier post, it is not for me to pass judgment upon the sinner. That is the Lord’s job and the homosexuals will reap what they sew.

  83. u r pasin jujment tho

  84. @dan_fargis: I believe that God alone can judge me, and by trying to claim that you know the will of God, you are committing a far graver sin.

    “Love thy neighbor” does not mean “Judge thy neighbor”.

  85. Me thinks Dan is either joking or in the closet.

  86. dunt wori masta he rekons the devil punshis peple for sins bein discrimntiv is a sin so he gunna get justis dun on him

  87. Passage 63, Dan_Fargis

    it’s only my second day on the job Mr. Bible Thumper. What does god say about your touching of little boys? Or is that only your friends who do that?

  88. Damn, late again. And yes, claiming that homosexuals are going to burn in hell is judging them. Whatever, I had to deal with Fred Phelps and the WBC this weekend, you’re nothing. Be gone, gnat.

  89. If it’s where I’m headed, so be it. I’m having a blast on the highway.

  90. Yoink/MasterProp – It is not “passing judgment” to point out a sin. It would be no different than saying a thief is a sinner for stealing, or a murderer is a sinner for killing.

    @MasterProp – religion is based on the will of God. It is what the Bible is for – to express God’s will so that we can obey our Creator and do his work.

  91. wateva dan injoy bein rapped by lisifas ponty hot poka stik

  92. @nuff – If you are implying that I touch little children, I suggest you try to understand that the silly (and immoral) Catholics do not speak the gospel and are equally sinful as homosexuals

    @wordpervert – that’s the spirit.

  93. Sorry, I just skimmed the last few messages and began wondering why in the blazing fires of hell it got to talking about catholicism on a website about Facebook.

    Save it for the pedophiles in Rome, people!

  94. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    @dan_fargis Is is also a sin to not have a pool? I would hate to see you go to hell.

  95. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Also, apparently Rockso hasn’t been here long.

  96. @Dan: According to my interpretation of the Bible, you have committed a sin = not passing judgement.

    You are going to burn in hell = passing judgement.

    And yes, from what I remember of the gospel, a pool is a requirement for passing through the pearly gates. Dan doesn’t have a pool, so he is going to Mordor… er, Hell.

  97. @MasterProp – your interpretation of the Bible is irrelevant. Anyone can have an interpretation of the Bible (see: Koresh, David). That doesn’t make it the true word and/or will of God

    Also, why are you assuming I do not have a pool? In fact, I do have one (it came with the house I bought, I did not install it for religious purposes)

  98. ouch.

  99. An old boyfriend of mine now loves the cock. It’s fun being a member of the ‘turned him’ club…
    Mary don’t take it personally sweetheart, Chris clearly just fancies a squat on the blue veined porridge gun.

  100. Too much words.

  101. @Ruby – what did you do that turned your boyfriend off of women? Do you have long protruding labia? You should not be taking pride in turning someone into a sinner

  102. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    Oh trust me Dan fargis, you don’t, you don’t have a pool.

  103. krasivaya_devushka

    You’re all just….wooow!

  104. wats this abowt a pool? i dunt get it? i dunt hav a pool iver

  105. “wateva dan injoy bein rapped by lisifas ponty hot poka stik”

    Whatever Dan. Enjoy being raped by Lucifers pointy, hot, poker stick.

    I like that one yoink!

  106. @Dukey Smoothy Buns – No, actually I do. It is an in-ground Grecian pool with a heater. Great for a dip in this heat and humidity.

  107. I feel the most pressing issue on this post is no-one knowing about Henry.

    So guys, meet Henry, Henry, meet the guys:

  108. OMG..*mental picture* the devil can punsh u for bein homifobic by shovin his tridant repetitedly up ur ass…priceless.
    Yoink you need your own talkshow..can I friend you on FB??

  109. ..And I kinda like long protruding labia..does that make me a potential homosexual also??

  110. Nobody in England has a pool.
    We have trampolines with collected rainwater and a few leaves.

  111. I love that when you ask a Bibler to point out a specific passage that claims homosexuality is an eternal sin, they simply say “God is very clear in his message on this subject.”

    God talked to Noah inside a burning bush. That in and of itself is a hint that God likes the men that stay away from bushes.

    BTW, is a God in hand worth two Gods in the burning bush?

    oh, one more BTW, just because I know the Bible really well doesn’t mean I’m a Bible thumper.

    MarcJacob 12:14 – Men who lay with men will double their wardrobe. Unless one’s a bear. Peace be with you. (And also with you.)

  112. Dan buys a cappuccino:

  113. @ Dan-Fargis
    regarding your comment : @MasterProp – your interpretation of the Bible is irrelevant. Anyone can have an interpretation of the Bible (see: Koresh, David). That doesn’t make it the true word and/or will of God.

    I would like to point out that to the rest of the world your interpretation of the bible is completely irrelevant. No one here is interested in your homo phobia and hate mongering you little prick.
    Get of this website asshole.

  114. Dan, I was writing that comment from your POV, so it’s not MY interpretation I’m referencing here, it’s yours.

    And slippyslappy is right, there are many other religous texts that are very similar to the Bible, with a different interpretation of it’s teachings. You probably also thing that Muslims worship the devil and the Israel is perfectly justified in bombing the Palestinians who live there, too, huh? You’ve already mentioned your feelings on Catholics, who even use the *same* text as you.

    You are a wanker, dude.

  115. Oh how I missed you all during the week and a half my computer was dead for. Good to be back:)

    Now, Dan-Fargis I would really appreciate it if you could find me the exact words that God uses to tell his followers that homosexuals are sinners. I am very curious and you seem so sure of it that you must have seen the words with your own two eyes and aren’t just listening to every other moron that says it. Thank you.

  116. bollywood_rocks83

    I think dan fargis may be trolling. If not, dude you’re also going to hell for judging. I think your god was also clear on judging. How did he put it? “Thou shall not judge”? Take the speck out of your eye before you point out the log in another’s eye. Yes, I know your bible even if I don’t believe in your god.

    Chupitoo, thanks. I like Ruby also “turned” a guy. He decided halfway through our relationship that he likes to sleep with men AND women. If his justification for it was that he didn’t want to hide a part of himself, then why hide that part of him from his parents? That’s bull. That’s lying and manipulation and he knows it.

  117. bollywood_rocks83

    Could the editors of Lamebook please for the sake of godlessness ban Dan? Keep the bible thumping to Facebook.

  118. dan_fargis_is_ugly

    Yeah, Dan Fargis is a troll. Both virtually and physically. 9 times out of ten, homophobia is nothing more than the sad longings of the closeted and hideous.

  119. ummm obviously dan wasn’t confused and was out if his bf was posting shit on his wall about sploooging in his face, so i say go mary, fuck ‘em.
    and dan, dan dan dan, how many other websites,forums,blogs,ect do you clog up with your religious babbling? i’m sure god is very proud of his child, spreading the word of god, one lamebook comment at a time..fucking douche.
    if going to heaven meant being surrounded by dickwads like you, i’d take my chances in hell, but i believe in neither, so it doesn’t matter…

  120. Chewbacca shagger

    I was brought up very religious and it is judgemental tosspots like dan that seem to get off on forcing their veiws on everyone else, whether they are interested or not. I bet you go knocking on doors telling people they are sinners and going to hell for it too. I’ll be judged when i die if there is someone/thing that has the power to do it.
    I sent a girlfriend gay. My reasoning was that she’d reached the pinnical of her sexual experiences with a man and had to find solace in a woman. That’s the way i made myself feel better about the situation. :)

  121. **i mean chris wasn’t confused

  122. I turned my GF straight :(

    Does that earn me extra Heaven points?

  123. Actually, I’ve done it twice. So, those 2 new straight chicks give me +2 Heaven Points, +1 Hell Point for my own gayness… I’m still ahead. Sweet!

  124. So I’m not going to lie… I made this account PURELY so I could tell dan_fargis, douche bag extraordinaire, to shut the hell up already and to take his religious fanaticism somewhere else. It’s jerks like you who are turning people away from the church, so why don’t you go start a commune somewhere?

    Ahhh that kind of felt good.

    I’m kind of torn on this, Mary’s within her right to tell people that Chris cheated on her, but she didn’t need to be such a bitch about it and turn it into some kind of spectacle.

  125. oh Mary, you never experimented in college?

  126. dietpillpyramidscheme

    I’d like to let you all know how warm and fuzzy it made me feel to see the zealot-bashing.

    It gives me hope, even as an anonymous group of faceless personalities, it’s made my day.

  127. Not that I’m a believer in the Sky Fairy, but his publications do have a couple of specific references:

    As the article points out, however, there are some doubts over the translation of specific terms.

  128. I don’t quite understand why so many people are saying Mary is a bitch.

    First, Chris is a total jackass for cheating on her. If he was confused about his sexuality, he shouldn’t have been in a committed relationship. There is no need to hurt other people when you’re trying to figure yourself out.

    Secondly, ok, I have a caveat. Mary writes that Chris was on fb talking about hooking up with another guy. So, he outed himself. What kind of idiot talks about cheating ON fb, unless he wants to get caught? HOWEVER, if he was chatting on fb chat, or this was a private message….then Mary is pretty tacky. If she was reading her boyfriend’s private messages, that’s tacky as hell, and there is no need to make it tacky.

    On the other hand, would people think she is such a bitch if Chris had been cheating with another woman, and she announced it on facebook? How would that be different? It’s certainly immature to announce that your bf is a cheating bastard, but the impulse is understandable, and loads of people do it.

  129. Everyone is an asshole.

  130. Dammit, I can’t read a single post on here without @dan_fargis being a jerk.
    OK, you simply CANNOT tell other people off about using the correct grammar and spelling when your own is little better than a grade three’s. I mean seriously. And I think that as Creator of the universe, God probably deserves a capital. And it’s ‘sow’, not ‘sew’. Sewing is with a needle and thread. Try not to be such a hypocrite, at least for a little while.

    And stop condemning people to hell, especially for their clothing. My goodness, you make me sad.

    Quit mocking people about their vaginas. Please. For everyone’s sake. What kind of comeback is ” Do you have long protruding labia?”?

    I couldn’t even go ONE post after my last rant at you. Give me some peace!

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