Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Meet Megan

previous post: Battle of the Sexes

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16 Comments

  1. Weak.

  2. I will translate to the best of my ability, for those unversed in stupid.

    I cannot wait until my child Ryder is here. I do things better than you because Ryder, Matthew and I are happy together. Suck on that, you female dogs. My Matthew cannot stand you, and somehow that is what makes us a family.

    How does it make you feel, that Matthew has already had my name imprinted on his arm after only a year of our courting? I believe you all are mad, and would make terrible housewives.

    And so, the next time you think about attempting to woo my love or even make simple conversation with him, know that I will be beside him, watching your every move. I hope this irritates and annoys you like the antics of a mosquito, how he will be making sweet love to me at night, and playing with our son when you cannot.

    Suck on it, female dogs, and may fate strike you down. We cannot stand the thought of you, nameless though you may be, you crazy canines you.

    I love you, my dear husband and son! Soon I shall wed him, and life will be all the sweeter.
    Malicious joy,
    stupid person

  3. Don’t “thank” too hard, Megan, it might make yo head ‘splode an shit.

  4. I think “You can’t make two hoes into house wifes” is my new favourite saying.

  5. Matthew should write Megan a sonnet. Bitches love sonnets

  6. ‘Bitches love sonnets’ is now my favorite new saying. That’s just classic.

  7. I enjoy that it starts out softly, and BAM!, she starts screaming about bitchessssssss and hoes.

  8. When will these bitchez learn that sluts and gardening tools are two completely different things?

    Two hoes into house wifes FTW!

  9. TL:DR

  10. It sure bugs the fuck out of me thinking about her laying with him. I’m also not sure that the sentence ‘playing with our son suck on it’ is all that ok….

  11. bitch has never heard of punctuation??

  12. The comments here made me LMAO… especially #3 and #5 :)

  13. SAT Scores in the US for Reading Comprehension hit their lowest since 1972 this year.
    This is the proof.

  14. You insert some incorrect punctuation in there, and it becomes a disturbing story (even more so).

    Or read it like Yoda – “Suck on this bitches, Matt can’t.”

  15. “Bitches love Sonnets” Epic

  16. monkeymonkeyunderpants

    Calenthedestroyer, I made an account just to tell you that you totally made my day with that comment. Priceless.

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