Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Meet Amelia

previous post: Showin’ Some Skin…

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49 Comments

  1. ooooh mah gahd…

  2. tl;dr

  3. tl;dr [2]

  4. this is like a clinic on how not to attract people. seriously, everything she said is such a put off. she sounds like a douche

  5. “I make really bad choices”

    Case in point, this entire ‘about me’ section.

  6. If you get to know her, she’s nice.

  7. is this snookie?

  8. It’s like every teenager’s cliched “about me” all rolled into one big fuzzy ball of seething angsty douchery.

    I swear they just paste things they think are “profound” … to the point half their “about me” totally contradicts the other half.

  9. That whole thing boils down to just a couple points:

    “I have major daddy issues, and I will fuck you and all your friends, and pick fights with any girl in the room”.

    Just… sad.

  10. Lol “i hate people who remind me of myself”

    Geeee…I wonder why

  11. Sounds like someone’s bucking to get on an MTV reality show…

  12. tl:dr but I did get to “I’m italian, english and native American”. That’s a well known racial mix.

  13. I’m in love

  14. what is tl;dr? Thanks!

  15. I guess FB is cheaper than a psychiatrist…

  16. Unfriend.

    Block.

    Enough said.

  17. #14 lmgtfy

  18. I love how in all of these tragic “About Me” sections, they completely criticise themselves, yet somehow think that what they’re saying makes them more attractive… what part of “I lose friends constantly” makes you sound like a cool person? Assuming that’s the image you’re going for…

    Oh, and you call people older than yourself “kid”, but can’t stand younger people who call you “hun”?

    Add “hypocrite” to that already glowing list of attributes.

  19. @laugh.out.loud

    tl;dr – too long; didn’t read

  20. I have seen people with profiles like this. They are usually some really hot girl who gets a ton of attention from guys; despite having a horrible personality.

    She will never learn. She will never “smarten” up. She will always be this lame.

  21. I fucking hate all people that start some diatribe with things along the lines of:

    “I’m the girl bitches love to hate”

    followed by, “I absolutely fucking hate drama”

    yeah, that makes sense you fucking toolbag

  22. I wish someone would send Amelia on a one-way flight to nowhere.

  23. MsBuzz they’re usually making that damn duckface in all their pictures too.

  24. ^^^ Win.

  25. She sure did not ever put her hand up in grammar class, despite her love of attention. Maybe she did not hear anything in school cause she be TOO LOUD?

  26. #17 no need, while you were tasting the sticky stuff on your keyboard, herenow was kind enough to answer me. Thanks though, you are a doll.

  27. Should have pinched that turd off at the first sentence.

  28. Should have pinched that penis off before it came and produced that.

  29. I swear this “about me” was just ripping off the slogans on almost all of those “funny” t-shirts that they advertise off to the right hand side of these sites. like “I taught your boyfriend that thing you like” and “I’m not short, I’m fun-sized”. I actually thought about getting a tee with that last saying on it

    and I’d also put money on it that 98% of this girls photos are of her and her skanky friends making duck faces at the camera.

  30. #26 you sat and waited for an answer that you could have looked up yourself in 2 seconds. Fuck me if that’s not annoying about people on internet forums! It’s not like there was an underlying intention to start a hot topic in your question, It was literally an ignorant question accompanied by laziness. Now your utter shock at my earlier rudeness for your sheer stupidity has made my blood boil over and write a fucking paragraph in the middle of the night whilst thinking of how I’m going to save face. So thanks a lot for fucking up!
    /end rant

    I’m a lingerie model

  31. Duckface on crack! Holy hell, who can follow that rant – I can just picture her tweaking and typing……

  32. Pictures, saffer, pictures.

  33. All I got from that was fat, ugly, never had a boyfriend & full of shit.

  34. @ saffer – tl;dr and yeah, pics or no dice.

    Regarding our charming fun-sized friends bio, just no. Imagine the sense of self-satisfaction as she reads that back to herself.

    ..and for the love of sweet baby Jeebus, are paragraphs so fucking hard?

  35. Holy fuck.

    Saffer, what’s lmgtfy? No I’m only joking, don’t go psycho on me ;)

  36. I honestly think she should kill herself.

  37. I was gonna ask what exactly is that “duckface”, but now I’m just gonna google it.

    Not too sure it’ll enlighten me, but it should at least provide me with some entertainment…

  38. I’m taking bets that in the next two, make it three years that Amelia is squirting out babies and vomiting all over FB about:

    a) how her baby daddy doesn’t pay child support.
    b) how a little thing like several children can’t stop her party-girl ways.
    c) how bewildered she is that she has no friends, no decent job, or a home that’s not propped on cinder blocks.
    d) how her step-father had boundary issues so that’s why she’s going on Intervention.
    e) all of the above.

  39. Wow! Take a valium! As much as I’d like to apologize for pissing you off, I can’t, frankly, I am enjoying it. Continue please, the more you pick on me the less likely you will be to punch babies.

  40. she sounds ADORABLE. just the kind of girl i’d date.

  41. I have a real problem with people that think they’re special for no fucking reason. The sad part is that this is what she thinks is cool- not being good to other people or at least, you know, being able to actually compose a proper sentence. She’ll never realize that there are a bajillion other bitches exactly like her, and they’re all douches.

    The more you say you hate drama, the more you thrive off of it.

  42. “hollaaa@mee. :)

    Right, because she made herself sound like such a lovely, approachable person.

  43. After all that I shouldn’t be surprised that she can’t differentiate between “your” and “you’re”…but it’s still annoying. Fuck.

  44. I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER

  45. Oh, and I also hate her.

  46. I like this girl!! She’s certainly opinionated, but as proud of her faults as of her flaws. Hopefully she’s just this arrogant and don’t-give-a-fuck-what-you-think in real life

  47. She is annoying. No one asked for your fucking life story. Get over your self, its not that deep. And honestly you must not have a life if you have time to type that whole damn thing. Do something useful, stop bitching, and make life worth it. I mean good damn we all have problems, but we don’t go burdening the world with them.

  48. I can’t stand people like that. Just wanna go through life being pissed off. Like wtf how is that appealing to ANYBODY

  49. Its always the slutty whores that say they HATE DRAMA and only have guy friends cause bitches are jealous, Girls like this never change so she should spare the world of her unwanted offspring and kill herself now that her persona is so profoundly important

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