Friday, May 4, 2012

May the 4th

previous post: Good Point

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54 Comments

  1. This is fake. For real, it is fake.

  2. Not fake. I found her Facebook and she was genuinely confused until someone explained it to her.

  3. You must provide a link to he correct.

  4. I tried but it won’t let me post links here. Just type in “why is today star wars day? there 11 other 4ths in a year” into Facebook, and search “public posts”. Her page is the only one that will show up.

  5. Thank you for your cooperation.

  6. Target is Jessica da Silva, for those who wish to terminate her.

  7. BeboStunnah2kai12

    A simple name would have saved you energy.

  8. It’s been my experience that girls named Jessica are always NOT fun, nothing has changed.

  9. I didn’t know if I could post the name, Bebo. I’ve done it before when I’ve found other profiles and it’s been immediately deleted, so I figured I wouldn’t even try this time.

  10. Let the robot take the blame

  11. Why did I just read this crappy post? There are other humor sites…why this one? And why don’t I say, “For the love of god, No” every time I come to this site then?

  12. this thread may be beyond redemption.

  13. the only thing that could make it worse is if that stupid bitch slug (or maybe flamsie? where the fuck is flamsie?) were to poke it’s joy-sucking visage in here and suck out the last remaining bits of my will to continu

  14. Msannethrope, you are making a will? I must wonder if you are feeling ill.

  15. Her profile says she’s engaged a man with the last name Desilva. Incest?

  16. beatusmongous

    I know a few Jessicas, and they are all really cool, and most of them are very attractive.

  17. ^you sound whipped. is the missus a jessica, by any chance?

  18. @8 & 16, you are both correct. As a Jessica, I can say that there are more than enough of us. Some of us are really cool and attractive, but the majority of us aren’t (I fall into this group).

    One thing I can say about all Jessicas is that we all have mothers who lack creativity when picking baby names.

  19. “MCA was with it and he’s my ace, so I grabbed the piano player and I punched him in the face”

  20. @MsAnne, no, the missus is not a Jessica.

  21. There are lots of cool and attractive Jessica’s…Jessica Fletcher, Jessica Simpson, (Sarah) Jessica Parker, Jessica Fletcher. Point proven thank you

  22. srwalker155210

    In what corner of the Universe can (Sarah) Jessica Parker be considered attractive? From some angles (typically one that hides at least 66% of her face) she’s bangable, but attractive? You Sir, are incorrect.

  23. I know this bitch didn’t just try to say Sarah Jessica parker is attractive

  24. SJP = universally known as horse-face. Then there’s Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, the lovely Jessica Chastain, Jessica Lange (before all the work) and granny-cougar Jessica Walter.

  25. Every Jessica I’ve ever personally met was either lackadaisical or a floozy. Sometimes both. Is that negative, though? You decide.

  26. Don’t forget jessica fletcher!

  27. Some people find horses to be a majestic animal

  28. ^and some find them to be tasty.

  29. BeboStunnah2kai12

    Some like to ride horses.

  30. ^just make sure to use a saddle.

  31. damn u Bobger, just got who Jessica Fletcher was. Took a while though derr…

  32. “September the Fourth be with you” just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

  33. hello msanne, sorry i’ve been away, i can tell you’ve missed me! i’m back now though! still talking about me huh…i do have that effect on women. fucking gossips.
    got something special for ya though, coming right up. hope you like surprises!

  34. The Bridge – a tale of a misanthrope, a white knight, and a whole lot of foul-smelling faeces.

    Chapter 1 – A misanthrope’s beginnings
    Once upon a time, in a magical land far far away called the internet, there lived an ugly little girl named Anne. Anne had a rather caustic personality that caused her natural parents to spurn her, so she went much of her life without love.
    One day though, at at a birthday party, this all changed. An uncle of hers explained that he did love her, and in fact wanted to express this love for her, and led her off to show her just what he meant. Much to his surprise, not only did Anne relish the experience, he found that his enormous wang was completely swallowed up by the gaping maw that was Anne’s nether regions. This was unusual for him with little girls and he had difficulty getting the required friction going, but managed to pop off eventually.
    When Anne’s parents found out, they were most upset. They had not been paid, as per the usual arrangement in such a scenario. They ran the uncle out of their little hamlet, and he fled, thinking “that was SO not worth it”.
    Anne was distraught, she had known some love, and now it had been stripped away. She ran away, in search of her uncle.
    Eventually, she came upon a river. She’d heard of it before, Lamebook River, it was known as. It was a bit of a filthy stream, to be perfectly honest, but importantly, she saw someone hiding under the bridge. Her uncle!
    Not noticing his fearful expression, Anne started demanding more ‘love’. Despite his protestations, Anne was quite insistent, so he obliged, all the while making an escape plan for when she fell asleep afterwards. But Anne was not to be denied. Her nether regions had grown so hungry, they had sprouted teeth! The uncle was devoured whole.
    Anne sat under the bridge, and cried and cried. She’d destroyed the only thing that ever loved her. As she sat under the bridge, hatred, bitterness and a good dose of the river’s influence, lameness, crept into her heart.
    As the years went by, Anne got by, by ambushing unwary travellers attempting to either cross the bridge, or travel underneath it. Occasionally she would squat and deposit a foul smelling deposit, she liked to call these ‘comments’. These ‘comments’ were everywhere. Her ugliness was renowned throughout the land.
    Her favourite ‘comments’ were kept right beside her in a big mound. She liked to call these ones ‘fat jokes’. Whenever an unsuspecting traveller came nearby, she would fling her ‘deposits’ at the travellers until they were so grossed out they’d find another way. If they tried to fight back, she fell back to her mound of ‘fat jokes’ and flung for all she was worth. Most of the time, it worked too.
    Whilst she was a mere annoyance at worst, her ugliness had brought a dark cloud over the land. People were fearful of going out, lest they be pelted with more poo.
    Something had to be done.

  35. sugartitsmcgee

    I would like to kick you in the face.

  36. What the fuck is your problem??? Attention-whore, nasty-ass, creepers like you can only find pleasure taunting strangers?
    Fuck off and die.

  37. aww fanks buddy, but i doubt you could even if i was standing in front of you, unless you got really stretchy legs!
    keep the rage alive though sugartits, it becomes you.

  38. glad you like my story, stagename.
    i like you too.
    *blushes*

  39. we ready for chapter two yet? no of course, i’ll let the rage keep building up a bit first, what was i thinking?

  40. meh.

  41. msanne you forgot to provide a rating, as we discussed.

  42. I would suggest she be targeted. However, I seem to think this story is somewhat fake.

  43. slg are you this obsessive and mental in real life? If you are, I hope you are getting the help you need. If you aren’t, I think perhaps you need a little holiday from lamebook. Maybe a week or two to calm down and get some perspective.

  44. thanks for your interest, frankie baby, but i’m frightfully calm, and having the time of my life. creative writing is fun for me!

  45. Jessica Fletcher is good at creative writing but she also solves murders

  46. See peeps, there is a constructive comment right there! Onya bobger.
    Catchyas all later, when you’ll be seeing chapter 2 – the rise of the slg.

  47. And terminate them.

  48. looks like jessica has been terminated. another win for lamebook.

  49. BeboStunnah2kai12

    2/10

  50. Feral Musings

    I laughed, I cried, I became slightly worried about being called fat. Waiting for chapter 2.

  51. Please no chapter 2 ….

  52. ^ Seconded.

    Motion carried.

    Fuck off, SLG.

  53. One woman’s poo is another man’s lubricant.

  54. chapter 2, coming right up, despite that attempt at democracy, up at number 52 there. bacchante, you’re doing it wrong.
    and there’ll be more chapters too! i might keep em coming a bit faster from now on, if time permits.

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