Monday, February 28, 2011

Matthew Needs a Stiff Drink

previous post: Pass/Fail

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42 Comments

  1. I don’t get it.

  2. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    That seems to be the point.

  3. …pills, we don’t need no steenkin’ pills.

  4. Loser!

  5. Ahhh his little story has been played out so many different ways in so many movies.

  6. Trees is the name of a nightclub in dallas, maybe that’s what that part meant. I guess his girl thought some guy there was better looking than him …

  7. http://www.squidoo.com/welcome-to-college

  8. BONEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRS!!

  9. ^fuck off +1

    Bit light in the comments with these lot, absolutely nothing to do with them being shite, no siree, no way José, most definitely not.

  10. I see Lamebook’s legal fund has almost reached the halfway mark. The comment contributions have died in the ass, but the financial contributions are quite healthy. Go freaking figure.

  11. Mystifying, given that there are so few comments is probably down to the quality of material. The conclusion I draw is that many, many lurkers approve of the material, such as it is, and are donating accordingly.

    Either that or Soup’s child bride business is booming and they are blackmailing him with incriminating photos.

  12. Don’t know about now, but business was booming. That former bra model mb purchased quite a bit from him if I remember correctly. And her subsequent meltdown was the last vaguely interesting/amusing thing to have happened here on Lamebook. I so miss all the crazy bitches.

  13. It’s times like these I yearn for MEG, yep, it’s that bad.

  14. Amen, bro. Lamebook needs an injection of crazy. Stat.

  15. Hmmm, my last comment was modded. Why, motherfuckers, why? Maybe that’s why the boards are so bare. Nothing is getting through.

  16. Don’t forget Keona and Mad2. Those crazy kids.

  17. Injection.

  18. Ha. I was just starting to test what words in my comment these moderating bitches might not like, and then, voila!, the modded comment goes through. Fuck it, I can’t work it out.

  19. .

  20. Now look who’s looking slighly loopy ;)

  21. I like how it’s become nice and quiet here. Ahhh, the serenity.

  22. That is until Bert Raccoon wakes up…..
    Nobody else watch the Raccoons when they were little? Just me? Ah well…..

  23. wordy They are very fussy over what you call a ladies cum trough, for instance if you were to say that a woman’s fist pocket was instead a word that rhymed with hunt, they’d get very angry. If when referencing a girls meat gutter you used a word that sounds like Twot, they’d stick their fingers in their ears and pretend not to listen.

    It’s basically so all the females who come here don’t get offended by our coarse usage of the English language when talking about their fucking stinky, sweaty little fish boxes.

  24. I prefer ‘gateway to her guts’.

  25. Pork trench?

  26. Lava pit.

    Sorry, there’s been a burning sensation down there for a while now…

  27. wandr Try applying a low fat mayo to the effected area…. It wont help with the burning but you’ll taste nicer.

    Also: Fuck Garden

  28. I was thinking thumping grounds, but your fuck garden sounds so much more serene.

    How about whipped cream, though. There’s a feeling of lightness and fluffiness about it I find appealing.
    I mean, mayo’s good enough, but too much of it might make one sick.

  29. I like thumping grounds!!

    A big no-no on the whipped cream, it’s been done to death and there’s nothing worse then a cliched clit… Sour Cream may be the happy medium here, we could buy some crisps and use you as a dipping tray?

    Stench Cave orrrr Rape Hole?

  30. Done as it may be, it’s still tastier. But I can definitely live with sour cream.
    After all, I’m not that flexible, so it might as well please you. It should camouflage the pus rather well too, and I so love being used.
    I’m not against salsa either, if that’s your taste, and I’m naturally supplying the cheesy flavor.
    We have a party in the making there

  31. Try to keep the pus weepage to a minimum please, It may put the other ‘diners’ off if they think we’ve tried to foist them off with that fucking disgusting guacamole shite. Do you have any preference when it comes to crisps, biscuity stick things or tortillas?

    Wizards Sleeve.

  32. Ah, salsa in one hole and sour cream in the other. Awesome.

  33. You’re right scotty this party is diptastic!

    Tortilla or biscuity stick thing my good man?… Just ignore the guacamole.

    Clowns Pocket.

  34. Ah! A cultural challenge this morning. I actually had to look it up. I woulnd’t want to look like an idiot, now. I mean, obviously, one can tell I take care of my refined Lamebook image.

    Crisps being chips. Biscuits seem to be crackers. And tortillas are… well… tortillas.
    I’m not a huge fan of chips or tortillas, so I’ll have to go with sticks (no pun intended), but really, it’s not my mouth I was planning to stuff.

    Which brings us to
    Turkey

    Do join the party Scotty

  35. I wouldn’t* want to look like an idiot… good job, me!

  36. Ooooh wandr You’ve impressed us all with your multi-lingual translation of potato and bread based snacking foodstuffs. You truly are a very modern and cosmopolitan dipping tray!….

    Hey, for fucks sake! Which messy bastard has left some salsa in the sour cream..what?.. huh?..it’s not salsa you say?… oh well, never fucking mind, be a bit more careful with those sticks eh?

    Minge.

  37. Neither breadsticks of crisps, I’d just ram my dick in both and have a small Asian clean it with his/her mouth.

    Beef curtains.

  38. *or

  39. For fucks sake scotty we’re not fucking made of Salsa you know!?..We haven’t got an endless supply of pots of Sour Cream growing on a tree in the back yard….Ok we do have a cellar full of Asian sex slaves, but that’s hardly the point is it?

    Sorry wandr I had no idea he was going to throw himself up you like that, stay still whilst I re-apply the dips.

    Pissflaps

  40. Mock me all you like, mofo, but I do insist it’s crucial to differentiate the English and American biscuits. Seriously, have you had what the Americans (and Canadians, I must add) call a biscuit? It’s fucking gross. That shit’s not coming anywhere near me.

    And my talents as food dish are beyond any mockery. I’m a fucking genius at this job. I’m thinking of going pro.

  41. I wasn’t mocking you wandr I more then anybody would not want to be involved in a transatlantic biscuit confusion …they can be very messy affairs, just look what happened last time there was a biscuit mix up…. we ended up invading Iraq… Weapons of Mass Biscuits my arse.

  42. CommentsAtLarge

    Wandr, if you really are considering going pro, beware the double-dippers.

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