Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Love is Constant

LoveisConstant

previous post: You Must Be Crushed. LOLz

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85 Comments

  1. I’m just confused. Is Constance someone he used to go to school with who’s trying to rub her supposed, newly-acquired hotness in his face via facebook?

  2. Is Jeremy saying, in a round about way, that he has a goat penis?

  3. Um, what??

  4. …i kinda wanna know the backround story to this one

  5. I call fake.

  6. How did you all get this, who put it on this website

  7. Why is this on lamebook, and not awesomebook?

  8. My interpretation is that Constance emailed a bunch of people she used to go to high school with, and called them out for being mean to her.

    Clearly, this gentleman retains all former charm and eloquence.

  9. What???

  10. @Katie.. agreed. I hate when chicks do that!

    Is that the real Jeremy at #6?

  11. I’m surprised he didn’t call her a lesbian somewhere in there. That’s another common thing for rejected guys to mention.

  12. Oh my gosh. I wonder what a dirty pirate hooker looks like, and why Jeremy is so obsessed with them.

  13. Whatever happened with Connie is irrelevant, this guy is a screaming douche.

  14. I knew a girl who was once called a 2 dollar whore by one of her friends after she put on a great deal of makeup on herself for her 18th bday. naturally she was drunk and the comment was not called for. I guess it’s much the same deal

  15. I hate fat girls.

  16. Hahaha wow. What a douche.

  17. Dear Constance,

    I am happy to offer you my kerb-stomping services free of charge. Crushing Jeremy under my boot would be a pleasure.

    Deltron

  18. Could you leave some for me Deltron? I was thinking of setting fire to him

  19. @”Boz” Sweet, we hate you too!

  20. Yeah, but skinny people love me. No one loves you.

  21. I don’t get it…why does this look so different? Is it a private message? I’ve never seen anything on facebook with this layout.

  22. Lost weight AND eyebrows?

    Does she have cancer or something?

  23. @21 A- Its the FB app for iphone.

  24. I am so confused by this.

  25. @ “Boz”, no sorry, we don’t like you either…

  26. @Skinny Girl impersonator

    I know you’re a fat girl.

  27. @ 22

    Apparently this is the new stupid fashion trend: no eyebrows. Yes. I heard about it today but have yet to witness it in real life, thankfully. Perhaps that’s what the poster was referring to??

    I think I’d prefer to see no eyebrows over those teeny skinny eyebrows that are tweezed to the width of one hair or so, though.

  28. how does one come up with “dirty pirate hooker” exactly?

  29. @27
    You heard about the no eyebrow thing on Tyra, right?

  30. dirty pirate hooker used to be my wireless internet password… roommate’s idea lol

  31. Aye, Matey.

  32. The last pro I had time with wouldn’t go near me on account of the problems I’ve been having recently. She openly laughed in my face. Degrading? And some.

  33. Jeremy is clearly a bitter, little pirate.

    I lost 100 pounds last year and I would sooooo do a Constance if I bothered to be friends with anyone from school. And someone getting this shook up about it would imply that I had won. In much the same way that Constance has. Constance FTW!

  34. Dirty pirate hooker

    I used to have a friend who shaved her eyebrows off every day. She was ginger and dyed her hair, I presume she shaved the eyebrows off for the same reason she dyed her hair. But ginger people always have ginger features so you can always tell they’re ginger no matter what they do.

  35. I bet Constance is absolutely GUTTED she never got to see Jeremy’s penis. I know I would be.

  36. Gee Constance/Connie, Jeremy sounds like such a catch. How could you have ever lived without him?

  37. Like Constance, my life is the same story of a geek in high school, grew up to be successful and much better looking. Never did the obvious rub-in-former-classmates-faces but I ran into a couple of them here and there and the running theme was the guys (who were formally mean to me) would ask for my number and the girls were so very envious (and usually pregnant with their third “Caitlyn” or “Kimberleigh”). It my ego enough that most of the people I went to high school with grew up to live in the same town, have menial jobs and gain tons of weight, 10 years of smoking did not help them either.

    In conclusion, Constance FTW.

  38. Also…I could have sworn that the thicker eyebrows were now the trend? A backlash to the over-plucked brows of yesteryear. Maybe she just had a monobrow in highschool and now she gets all groomed at a high-end salon. Eyebrows are very important, they frame one’s face and catch some dust or something, plus they help in reading a persons emotions. Shaving eyebrows is possibly the worst idea ever.

  39. I just pooed myself. My poo ftw!

  40. “A friend passed out drunk and we shaved his eyebrows. He was very surprised. You couldn’t tell, though.”

    Jimmy Carr

  41. MS JESSIE MEGHAN. DOES THE MS IMPLY YOU ARE SINGLE IN MERKA. BCUZ I WOULD SELL ALL 1000 OF MY PAKI FAMILY’S GOATS TO MARRY YOU.

  42. easy there u dont wanna go sellin the family goats whats chachu gonna say?

  43. U FUKKIN THICKO. WHY SHUD I CARE WAT MY CHACHU THINKS. IN ANGLOLAND I BE STR8 REPPIN PAKI PRIDE AND THE REST OF MY FAMILY CN GO 2 HELL. U BEST BELEEVE DAT I WILL TRADE DEEZ GOATS FOR WYTE FLESH. SUCH IS THE PAKI WAY

  44. Aushok, do I get the goats? Or do my parents? Because what is the point in marrying you if I do not get any goats?

  45. Neil Gaiman's Left Sock

    The sad thing is, I bet Jeremy was the one who submitted this to Lamebook. He was probably so proud of himself for writing it.

    Sounds like Constance dodged a bullet.

  46. I never thought I would write a mean thing on the internet but this really rattled my cage. Connie was an idiot to think that anyone would care that she is now thin or beautiful or successful or whatever. I know loads of fat people who are the popular, I also know loads of fat people who are bitter and unpopular. Connie, you were bitter and fat and noone liked you, now your thin and beautiful, but still a little bitter and people still dont like you – what did you think Jeremy The Dick was going to do? Cry and beg forgiveness? Feel bad about himself? Wish to go back in time and fix it? He doesnt care, he was a dick then and hes a dick now and he doesnt deserve for you to still remember his name.

  47. @Saaa I agree w. you.

  48. The screenshot was most likely from a status update or wall post considering that the heading says “Comments” and the previous page is Constance’s profile.

    Meaning that Constance probably updated her Facebook status to ask/taunt people who made fun of her in high school what they had to say now.

  49. MS JESSIE MEGHAN YES MAAM YOU GET THE 1000 GOATS FA SHO. NOT UR PARENTS LOL. THO IMA GIVE EM A TOKEN OF MY PAKI PRIDE FOR NOT STEPPIN TO MY CLAIM 2 U. ONCE YOUSE ACCEPTED DEM BAKRAS VEE CAN START LIVIN THE LIFE OF GANSTA AND GANSTRESS.

    ALREADY GOT MY BOYZ TO REP THAY ROLLS’ES AND BIMMERS, OUR UNION WILL BE ENVIED BY HATERZ WORLDWIDE.

  50. 1. Find jeremy on facebook (use context clues from his post)
    2. Look at profile picture
    3. stare in disbelief, then burst into laughter minutes later
    4. ????
    5. PROFIT!

    seriously. i went to high school with these people. speaking as as someone who treated less well to do people like shit in school i empathize completely with connie. i don’t think that folks who didn’t go to a private school (and have a miserable experience there) can really understand what the mindset is like. lets just say some terrible things happened.

    aim:goim?screenname=fapcum&message=lamebook

  51. I found Jeremy on FB. How do I “PROFIT?”

  52. @ fapcum

    how do you find him on facebook? I don’t know what you mean by “use context clues”

    please enlighten me!

  53. Just found Jeremy, only took me a few minutes. He’s not so skinny himself.

  54. how do you find him?

  55. I’d like to see a picture of her, please.

  56. I used the abbreviations of his state and school.

  57. I found him too! How do we profit?

  58. a little help please…whats his name dammit and what network is he from

  59. @jess: you nailed it. especially when the blurred out picture matched the search results…

    i will reserve comment for later. one tidbit: jeremy was the kind of person in high school who was into the whole confederate, secessionist cause (seriously) and white power blah blah. the interesting thing was, he had unexplainably kinky hair.

    how does everyone profit? …
    ..sigh. i’m older than i think.

  60. can someone please tell me his full name!?

  61. Yeah, got him. I wouldn’t sleep with him even if I was a dirty pirate hooker.

    Btw, “dirty pirate hooker” comes from the movie Anchorman. I can assure you that this guy is not inventive enough to come up with such a phrase.

  62. i second the whole “whats his last name” ffs.

  63. The dude drops hints to his dox in his diatribe.

  64. I’m a fat angry man that never gets laid

  65. jeremy press? or am i completely wrong?

  66. underpants gnomes you idiots

    fapcum, you are not old but your screen name is disgusting

    in fact, I’ve got you all over my hand. gross.

  67. underpants gnomes you idiots

    and it’s not jeremy press

  68. underpants gnomes you idiots

    jesus, now it’s all over the keyboard.

  69. don’t blame me, I told you it was a sin

  70. who is is dammit

  71. Sounds to me like they went to high school together, but the line “sorry our kids are being raised as idiots and not dirty pirate hookers” makes it sound like she was saying he raises his kids as idiots.

  72. The “dirty pirate hooker” probably said he was raising his kids as idiots, so that would explain his answer. I’m so acute.

  73. ^ Think you meant “astute”?

  74. what is jeremy’s full name?

  75. hahaha, wow, he’s one to talk about weight.

  76. Suda?

  77. I’m assuming “DA” would mean Dorchester Academy, which is in South Caroline – it’s a private school.

  78. *South Carolina

  79. This guy is my fucking hero.

  80. Where are you guys searching – on facebook, or on google? What search terms are you using, and where are you putting them in?

  81. hahahaha! connie grew up, moved to california, became a model,and it evidently is driving her old buds at DA bonkers.

  82. I agree with #46. Constance obviously has issues, otherwise people like Jeremy would be the last thing on her mind. The need to “get back at” people that are no longer a part of your life in any way is pretty pathetic. The guy is obviously not very smart, but he is just reacting to her passive-aggressive “revenge”.

  83. LOL @ 26

  84. Meh… Might have been funny if we could see constance’s original mail.
    The only thing that made reading this worthwhile are Boz’s comments underneath – LOL :D

  85. ew, this guy is hideous. Who is he to be such a douche?

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