Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Love and Hate

LoveAndHate1

LoveAndHate2

LoveAndHate3

previous post: Still Lost in Translation

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73 Comments

  1. over emotional diatribes = blech.
    Blue Xmas trees? WTF
    Being newly single? EEEEYYYEEZ GOTTA LOVE THAT SHIT. Fuckin KURT. Can’t see him on the weekend, now I need cuddles. WHO WANTZ TA HOOK UP BITCHES?

  2. Oh, and ordiments… ORDIMENTS.

  3. Ben and Katie are the kind of couples I hate on FB. Stop being lovey dovey and get over yourself.

  4. this is so scatter shot…. and i like turtles :) because i cant see zombie kid yet

  5. Gaaawwd I think I got diabetes from reading the top one, people like that make me wanna puke. If I were a betting man I’d say he was poking every skeeze he can find and she’s been involved in a train…but now everything is perfect. Hurray

  6. Some cuntmuscle has registered my username. NOT HAPPY…
    so whoever logged in a registered Kaoss as their username, I hate you.
    you suck.
    give me my name back :(

    so just so everyone knows (not that anyone really cares) this (kez) is the poster formally known as Kaoss.

  7. anyone get an option to change their nickname?
    cos if so this registration thing doesn’t make sense…

  8. @ Kez…I have the option for a nickname but it won’t allow me to post with it? I had put my nickname as my original name {Ratcoon’s widow…I couldn’t register using an apostrophe} so I don’t know what the nickname is actually for?

    As for the posting, I have a feeling that Kurt is about the become the luckiest guy in America…

  9. hoorah, I’ve got it back :)
    Although this registration thing won’t prevent imposters as you can change your nickname to anything. oh well, still should prevent it happening to some extent, also help with trolls and spammers.
    yay :)

    can someone explain what the fuck is going on it the last picture? She’s happy to get divorced but sad she doesn’t get to see him for cuddles on the weekend?? WTF?

  10. @Kaoss

    Isn’t it obvious? She hates his face, but loves his member.

  11. @ ratcoons widow
    Kinda weird registration thing, Kaoss was already taken, but how? I’ve never seen anyone on lame book with it before, so it must be the host site that deals with the registration thingy. I don’t really get the point of being able to register one name, but then use another? hmmm… surely someone could choose kaoss and pretend to be me still, and no one would know… although it would be a bit harder for them as now they’d have to go into their profile and add my website, save it, come back and then post, as opposed to just copy/paste into the comment box. But the main thing I suppose is being able to moderate the idiots on here (i shant name any in fear of riling them up)

  12. Dr. Hymen
    ahh, see I was thinking innocently… cuddles meaning cuddles, not boning one’s brains out…

  13. Hmm…I guess you just cant have a login name or a nickname with an apostrophe.
    Oh well. Im still Ratcoon’s widow. And I’m still gagging over my toilet from the first one..

  14. I guess no one else has done the math to realize that with the first couple – it’s only been TWO WEEKS!

  15. I totally didn’t have to ‘google’ skoal to find out what that woman was on about… :O

  16. *hands ratcoons widow a paper towel

  17. @ Kaoss…I just googled it myself. It prolonged my time spent gagging..

    Thanks for the paper towel!!! :)

  18. @Weebles and they’re probably only 12.
    hey, 2 weeks is aaaages when you’re young. and stupid.

  19. I like turtles.

  20. ratcoons widow
    hahaha

    Blue Xmas tree – $59.95
    Skoal chewin’ tobaccy – $11.95
    Showing the world you can’t spell ornaments = priceless

  21. I have a sneaking suspicion that there will be a part II to #1. It was posted October 18, so it’s been almost two months.

  22. Who wants to bet Ben and Katie have watched Twilight 11 times while holding each other ever so gently?

  23. Dr. Hymen, You mean you think they will last? unless there’s another post from the same time, I’d hate to see what their two MONTH anniversary is going to be. I think my head would explode!

  24. The one where Ben says “omg im so devo she like totally cheated on me complete bitch that she is” or some such other thing. There is also the possibility of the post on his wall by Katie sating something like “Ben your such a dick for leaving me after you got me pregnant”…

    Then again they could still be happy together but we all know how unlikely that is right?

  25. Ben is totally dependent on Katie so that relationship is screwed from the start. I think she will tire of him very quickly. As a wise person once said on Lamebook, “Girls do not need two pussies…”

  26. Croupier,
    As if, they’re more likely to have overdosed on sweetness than to have a normal functional relationship that lasts. or one of them becomes the other one’s stalker. I’m all for love and kindess but that just screams EMOTIONAL ISSUES!

    Or who knows, maybe they are just extremely awesome people who attract that kind of love within two weeks of meeting someone.

    :O

  27. @ Kaoss

    Not necessarily. In general, I have a feeling any follow-up post with this couple would be Lamebook worthy.

    Although, as cruel as it may sound, I anticipate that a break-up post would be a much more entertaining read, especially in contrast to the above.

    I think I would have to drink a whole bottle of Pepto Bismol to prevent from projectile vomiting all over my monitor in the event of a two month anniversary.

  28. I swear every single girl, EVERY single one, puts “ALL THE SINGLE LADIES” on their Facebook status. It’s incredibly retarded and not all that clever.

    Anyways, Ben is a puss, Steph makes little sense to me, and Tara is a gigantic can of DUMB.

  29. break up post would be waaaayyyy more entertaining

    *sits and waits in anticipation*

    is it over yet??

  30. Katie and Ben have been together a whopping 14 days.

  31. I have an obsession with reading all the previous comments before I comment. I see that not everyone shares that same attribute…
    hmm… but then again most people have a life, I however do not.
    :(

  32. @KAOSS: I do the same, do not fret sir

  33. @ KAOSS and foolishwolf, me too. Let’s all be lame together.

  34. None of my girl-friends on facebook post all their statuses in caps lock. None of them would rape the english language the way Tara does. None of them would publicly announce their need to ‘cuddle’ in the wake of a divorce.

    Some people would say I’m very lucky. But, I don’t know.

  35. foolishwolf
    you mean madamme
    I am female. well I was last time I checked :O

    *looks down*
    Yep! still female!

  36. By my calculations, Ben and Katie have known each other for 14 days. Only 2 weeks and they are already acting like psychos! I bet that in 3 weeks time they’ll hate each other.

  37. Wow, the comments on this so far are free from trolls. May it stay that way!

    1st comment – Blargh!
    2nd comment – How classy! I s’pose we should be glad its smokeless!
    3rd comment – I’m fairly confident Kurt will be smiling! Plus, I’d have thought if she was filing the divorce papers, she would already have a lawyer…

  38. @KAOSS: haha! whoops! my fault mademoiselle

  39. @foolishwolf and Leverhundar

    yes, let’s all be lame together.
    It shits me when people write comments stating something that someone else has said earlier. And then someone else writes the same thing AGAIN, not mentioning anyone Kaytee or Lizzle
    Ahem
    I’ll get off my soap box now.

    (I don’t mean when two people say the same thing at the same time or close in time, like the other person’s comment hasn’t shown up yet)

  40. Foolishwolf, you are forgiven :)

  41. @KAOSS

    I think *facepalm* says it best. :)

  42. I am off to bed my lovelies :)
    until the next lame post I shall bid you farewell!

    Ciao!

  43. Good lord, it’s 11AM here! Day has just begun. Come to think of it, I should probably start doing my work here at the office haha

  44. tara, a hookup and an attorney? they don’t go together. :P

  45. What the hell is an ordiment? Is that like Mexicanish? :)

  46. Maybe she has a cold, so that’s why she wrote “ordiments”.

    @Weebles…first thing I did was the math! I’ve had shoes for 2 weeks that I wasn’t even sure I loved.

  47. Stephanie ought to brighten up that color scheme with a few other ordiments that would be significant to her and hubby – some pretty red shotgun shell-casings, or a few beer bottle tops perhaps.
    Or maybe just ben’s balls – it’s not like he’s using them . . .

  48. I love that when you do the math you realize that Katie and Ben have been together a whopping two weeks.

  49. Katie needs a good fisting!!! BIG time!

  50. I’m thinking an “ordiment” is a kind of bauble that if you remove the pin, it explodes.

  51. They were meant for each other! Jeez can’t you see that? It was one of those god given moments!

    Sarcasm doesn’t work through the internet but that was sarcasm.
    Just in case

  52. @ Finn

    I agree – the internet is in dire need of a sarcasm font type.

    Your comment still works though!

  53. OK I give up…. what word BEFORE Katie would have to be blurred. Is he listing her last-name-first??

  54. @ bo … She’s perhaps registered as Luv-Katie on facebook, just hidden by lamebook to discourage the stalkers. Or I won’t be surprised if she even managed to attach some cupidy hearts or something to her name. Either way, I guess lamebook must have figured it too easy to stalk her if they showed all.

  55. to Ben n Katie..get a private room real quick!!

  56. That many seconds,
    Is only fourteen days, Ben!
    That’s the lamest part.

  57. It’s good to be back.
    Thank you for the kind comments
    During my absence.

  58. @ Mr Haiku

    Can’t…type…so…happy…

  59. @ Mr Haiku and Storblington

    Oh…My…God…

  60. What’s the betting that Ben and Katie are two desperate mingas for whom “love” equates utter relief that they’ve found someone who’ll agree to be seen in public with them?

  61. One more post like this, and I will surely lose my right foot.

  62. I wanna put ORDIMENTS up too!

  63. hitmewithyourrhythmvic

    Welcome home, Mr Haiku, welcome home!

    These are brilliant. I completely understand where the first couple are coming from – I moved into a new house and met my new neighbour a fortnight ago – we are now both living conciously.

    And Skoal? Duuuuude….

  64. @58 & 59:

    My thoughts exactly.

  65. Isn’t there a cheap vodka that’s called Skoal or something like that? I can’t for the life of me figure out how to spell it. Maybe I’m crazy.

  66. hitmewithyourrhythmvic

    I vaguely thought it was a lager here in the UK. I vaguely remember drinking it my murky teenage past.

  67. You know, 1209600 seconds is only 2 weeks.

  68. you sat there and worked it out… i don’t know what’s lamer… you or the post…

  69. @Frosty: LMAO
    @The posts: They are freaking retarts! Especially the first one, upon reading that i lost my lunch. Thanks dooshs

  70. Insane It’s spelled retard and you are one

  71. It’s ‘spelt’ when talking about someone else’s actions in past tense not ‘spelled’. Retard.

  72. Actually…..’spelt’ and ‘spelled’ are both acceptable past tenses of ‘spell’. (Feel free to look up the definition of ‘spell’ on dictionary.com if you have doubts.) So, in this case, either you’re all retarded, or no one is retarded. Take your pick. :)

  73. Who says the mentally handicapped are incapable of spelling?

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