Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Losing that Spark

previous post: All in the Family…

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80 Comments

  1. erm, righto then

  2. Idiot.

  3. i wish i were in hollywood…

    :-(

  4. qw

  5. Well thats 2 minutes of my life I’ll never get back….I read all of that and then realised that I dont care. Felt like I was reading OK magazine.

  6. So — just so we’re all clear on this: She cheated on her boyfriend. She went alone to someone’s hotel room, presented herself as the star-fucking groupie skank that she is, and now complains that his penis wasn’t big enough for her enormous, gaping vagina.

    Yes. It’s Hal Sparks that’s the problem.

  7. “I hate the idea that I was sloppy seconds for a celebrity.”

    CLASSIC.

    What else do expect when you “present yourself as the star-fucking groupie skank” as Mike so eloquently put.

    Still stand by my original post….idiot.

  8. the undisputed highlight of this page is the add down the bottom decreeing “The New Trend of Finger Tattoos”, featuring a smiling guy with his forefinger extended above his upper lip, and a dirty sanchez moustache drawn on his finger.

  9. Wow, I never knew I could care less about Hal Sparks. Or his small penis.

  10. sw

  11. What a hypocrite! Now is she not only a floosy but she is showing off to the world begging for attention.

    -Oh look at me I slept with a T.V. Star! yay! but I am so much cooler then him!

    MikeyMike is right on this one

  12. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    I can’t believe I tore myself away from theoretical physics for this crap posted by some idiotic hypocritical penis hungry bitch.
    Also, I guess were are all ignoring yoink then… right? Ok everyone carry on.

  13. Cue fargis and a fountain of crap about sex and hell and something about eternal damnation.

  14. I think she is severely overestimating Hal Spark’s celebrity status and star power. Most people only know him as one of those guys on the VH1 commentary shows. Perhaps she is a bit delusional?

  15. Dukey Smoothy Buns

    At this point, I fully support Dan on anything he has to predict about the future of this chick. Let’s get her 2 rounds of eternal damnation.

  16. Keeping with the theme of the day, would this post have been worse or better if the “celebrity” she was banging was the dude from Nickelback pictured below?

  17. no

  18. True, true, for once Fargis might actually have it right. This Merideth chick is not high up on my list of people I want to see visiting the pearly gates.

  19. that was a waste of time

  20. Who the hell is Hal Sparks?

  21. poor Yoink has regressed from two syllable words to two letter words :(

  22. Intelligence fail. What, the Hollywood “celebrity” wasn’t interested in a long-term relationship with you? After three years he texted you out of the blue when he just happened to be in town, and you assumed it was anything other than a booty call? Congratulations, you were in his phone under “St. Louis”. I mean, if you wanted to go out and bang a “celebrity”, more power to you. But don’t cry to your friends online because you feel lied to. You lied to yourself.

    Incidentally, nobody’s going to buy the idea that you’re not some starfucker if you post it on the internet. You bagged someone from TV. Congratulations. Also, get out now, boyfriend. If one of the local TV news anchors winks at Meredith, she’ll probably jump on him, too.

  23. This girl is incredible! “I hate the idea I was sloppy seconds to a celebrity” WTF? Was he supposed to be saving himself for her? And it’s okay for her to cheat on her boyfriend, but when he does it, he’s a “sad, confused older guy trying to appear hot topic.” What a hypocrite. Still, Hal Sparks is a lucky guy….he got three whole hours with a star-struck girl! Score!

  24. I had to google Hal Sparks.

  25. really? i had to google hal sparks as well. . .and he is not even like a d list actor. . . i have no freaking idea who this guy is?

  26. I am going to go there. While I was reading this one, I was actually surprised by her writing ability. Story-wise, it was well told. She includes the back ground, going back to high school, the first meeting, the “climax” (lol) in the middle, and then her pensive ending. Now, I am not saying that she isn’t a dirty pussing scab on the scraped knee of human existance, however, she isn’t the typical fucking retard we usually see on here with a status update saying something like “y@Ll!!1! I thot it wuz okk 2 put g@solin and c@t lIttEr in mah 3 dayz olds babiis eyez n now she wont STOP CrYyIn!!! Wat doo ii doooo?”

    My 2 cents.

  27. The lamest part of this whole thing is calling Hal Sparks a celebrity. Seriously, show of hands for who *didn’t* have to google Hal Sparks to know who he is? And honestly, even after google, I barely recognize him.

  28. He used to host Talk Soup. Then he went to “Why the hell is Hal Sparks on VH1′s I Love the 90′s???” status.

  29. Wait… who the hell is Hal Sparks? And why does this crazy think that her friends care about the tragedy that was her latest booty call? Narcissistic whore.

  30. Dammit, the entire time reading this I was picturing Hank Azaria – http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000279/ – now the story is all jacked up for me. Also, is this chick for real?

  31. Hal Sparks was, as she mentioned, on Queer as Folk, Talk Soup, and on every single episode of VH1′s “I Love the..” program. He is a sad attention whore that’s pushing 40, but acts like he’s 20. Meredith got exactly what she deserved. Can’t believe she’d share this with anyone.

  32. Katy, it’s “What it do”, not “What do it do”. C’mon, you spent your formative years in the Dirty South, you should know these things. ;)

  33. Hey Bulldog!! ;)

    Yeah, I was trying to do that annoying thing these little fuckers always do with putting two “i”‘s together everytime they want to say “I”. But the page does make it look like it says “it”. Boo. And yes, my years in the South did have an effect on me, and I think they also made me dirty… to fit the term. Filthy, infact. I wonder what it’s done to you, spending your whole life there and all ;)

  34. Oh where to begin with this girl. Hal Sparks? REALLY? Why would you be a booty call to Hal Sparks? And HOW is it possible that you don’t recognize a booty call when you get one? The stupidity of humanity is starting to truly frighten me.

    Plus, this is like selling the story to a tabloid–NO ONE CARES and thinks you’re a pain in the ass and a bitch. Except no one knows who Hal Sparks is or cares, so no tabloid would care either.

  35. Zoltan.

  36. Zoltan has always had major groupies. Geeky groupies, but groupies nonetheless.

  37. I’m not really puzzled as to why she thinks Hal Sparks is a “celebrity” since he was on her favorite show, or whatever. But what would ever possess her to think he is some kind of badass rock star type? Does she not realize that people on TV shows play characters?

  38. There was no need for the link, Mimi. Hank Azaria IS a celebrity ;)

  39. Oh, it’s left me pretty filthy, Katy. So filthy, in fact, that I’m pretty curious what you had in mind with the monkeywrench. ;)

  40. @lucky – the only funny thing he’s ever done. I could go for some bubble wrap to pop right now.

  41. That’s so classy. I can’t understand why she would write this, except to show off that she slept with a “celebrity”.

  42. Hal Sparks? Now that’s uninteresting – if you’re going to bang a celebrity, at least have it BE an actual celebrity.

    Queer as Folk was a good show, but the UK version was better, and yes, I’d gladly bang its star, Aiden Gillen, thank you very much.

  43. What the hell did I just read?? That was considerably LAME

  44. It probably wasn’t even the real Hal Sparks.

  45. I kept waiting for her to admit at the end that it was just some random guy that was pretending to be Hal Sparks (I had to google him too).

  46. Yeah, I had to Google Hal Sparks. I didn’t know who the hell he was. I’m not impressed. If your going to screw a celebrity, at least make it count!

  47. I guess I am one of the few people that did not have to google Hal Sparks to find out who he is.

    If she’s had a “thing” for Hal Sparks since middle school, why did she wait until after sucking his schlong to Google him? Of course, we also all know that 100% of what Google spews out is true!

    I think Meredith is just upset at being a one night celebrity stand. He was looking for a whore and obviously he got one for free (minus a bottle of $8 water from the minibar… cheap date!)

  48. @Ripley, she thinks he’s the type because he tries to act like one… as he embarrasses himself in his really crap band. This story may look bad to those that don’t know about Sparks, but to the rest of us that do know who he is, it’s beyond pathetic.

  49. I agree with katypants. She is an idiot, but an idiot that writes in complete sentences and uses actual letters instead of the typical: “n1 b3TuR B h0LL3rIn @t mAh seski boifrndddd”

    And also when she says: “Despite my current happiness with a certain man, my lack of exclusive commitments” could it be that she means her F*** buddy? “Lack of exclusive commitments” maybe they were just hitting it, and not dating? Which still makes her an idiot, but not a cheating idiot.

  50. Not only do I agree with everything MikeyMike said, but if this pathetic chick cared about him having a girlfriend, why didn’t she Google (or even ask) BEFORE she decided to go over and fuck him?
    I’m sure he blew her off and made her feel like a worthless groupie which is what she is (and a sad one at that). Had he decided he actually wanted to be with her after a meaningless fuck, I’m sure she’d be telling an entirely different story right now.
    Women like this give the rest of us a bad name.

  51. haha Hal Sparks, a celebrity.

  52. laugh.out, exactly.

  53. captainandthekid

    Sigh…I will never be able to watch I Love the 80′s the same way. ..

  54. Hell… I had to google Hal Sparks and I still don’t know who he is.

  55. @alijacket – He actually does have a band? I know exactly who he is, but I only watched him on Talk Soup. And he was a huge lamo. I just can’t see this “bad boy” persona. But I guess that’s why the whole thing is on lamebook in the first place.

  56. I’ve never heard of this ‘Sparks’ individual, but I am pretty sure neither he nor almost any other guy cheats on their partner to ‘fulfill their confidence quota.’ They do it because they like banging hot chicks and like a variety. I’m not defending them but I really doubt they ‘lack confidence.’
    What is scariest here is that this girl was willing to sleep with a guy who wears a ‘cancer preventative magnet.’ Holy motherload of carp crap, she’s got low standards.
    Also it took me a very long time to realize Meredith was a woman. I’ve never heard of a woman thinking male homosexual makeouts are appealing. Lesbians yes, but not gay guys.

  57. @mad2physicist – you’ve never heard of a straight woman being turned on by two attractive men together? It’s the same as guys liking hot girls making out with each other.

  58. Chinchillazilla

    If someone isn’t in People magazine on a semi-regular basis, they aren’t a celebrity.

  59. @samwise Her story would have made a helluva lot more sense, had it been Hank :D

  60. Don’t like long posts.

  61. Somewhere, Hal Sparks is getting excited as he notices that he is inexplicably “trending” on Yahoo! and Google’s top searches.

  62. tldr

  63. cloudsinmycoffee

    okay i know who hal sparks is because of vh1, but i’m pretty sure i read somewhere (a long time ago) that he and his girlfriend are basically in an open relationship.
    although i’m sure meredith would have just left that part out and complained some more about him being small. i don’t know why she was so surprised though, he’s only like 5’8 or something

  64. Why is this here? So boring. Also, I love how she’s bothered that he had a GF at the time, but meanwhile she was cheating on the guy she was with. Girls. Wtf.

  65. @Ripley, yep. They used to be called….. The Hal Sparks Band. LMAO. But, some time ago they changed it to Zero1, because that’s so much cooler, of course.

  66. Hal Sparks was on Celebrity Duets – and they clearly used the word “Celebrity” very loosely. He got beat by Carleton from Fresh Prince. (and Xena, but she’s awesome so I’m pretending I don’t know that.) but seriously. Beat. By. Carleton.

    Also, I was a HUGE fan of QAF but quickly got over Sparks when he followed his stint on the show with his talking head job (heh) on Vh1, using it as an opportunity to assert his status as heterosexual at every turn. Dude, we get it. You only gobble cock for money. oh, wait…

  67. http://lpmuds.net/teal_deer.jpg

  68. okay,it’s not like she showed up,banged him,then talked and ‘got to know him’.she defiantly knew he was a douche before they had sex and she still did it.and hal sparks? the only reason i know him is because of all those ‘i love the 80′s/90′s/70′s’ shows on vh1.this woman is pathetic.and i’m sure this little mini bashing really got to mr sparks,idiot.she deserves to get used for being so stupid.

  69. Wow, I can’t believe I just read all that! It must be because I agree with katypants.
    For the most part, though, I agree with MikeyMike.

    But I do feel sorry for Meredith. Poor girl obviously needs attention when she claims to have slept with a “celebrity” hardly anybody’s ever heard of.

  70. I don’t want to sound too much like I’m defending this girl, but she does mention her ‘lack of exclusive commitments’ which would mean she wasn’t cheating on the guy she was happy with. Just sayin’.

  71. So I’m the one who sent this in – this girl is an acquaintance of mine. About a year and a half ago (she wrote this March 2, 2009) this note showed up in my news feed and I was SHOCKED when I read it and couldn’t believe that someone would divulge this information with ALL OF FACEBOOK. Listen, I get that this happened and you need to talk about it, but call a friend ok? Or, worst case, send a select group of close friends who keep your secrets an email with the story. Do not post it for all 707 of your facebook “friends” to read.

    That being said, I’d like clear a few things up:

    1) she is a really sweet, albeit naive, girl
    2) when i read the note i got the impression that the other guy she mentions in the beginning was a guy she was seeing not exclusively dating: therein she was not cheating. (Although, to be fair, I think that she probably WANTED to be exclusive with him and posting this note about her sexual conquest may have been to piss him off, which isn’t the most mature move)

    Frankly, I kind of feel bad about sending this story in at all considering the fact that she’s getting slammed here (no pun intended) but, like I said, she’s not really my friend, and she did put this out to the entire world by posting it on the internet.

    The BEST part of the story was not included. Since this note was posted, she’s written less salacious notes and status updates about him, mentioning how psyched she is to have gotten texted by him or how she plans on meeting up with him again. So, clearly, she was a little impressed.

  72. wow the last the comment is lame. i also googled hal and im pretty sure he was eddie monster

  73. VelvetCyberpunk

    Wow, what a stupid whore. She screws around on her boyfriend and then complains that it’s Hal who’s the bad guy? Really? Also, telling the size of a guys penis is pretty gauche. She’s have a fit if he said her ass was huge and she had stretch marks. She’s a tramp with no class.

  74. Yea, freedom of speech aye? What you Americans fight and die for all the time. Give up basic human rights for via the Patriot Act. Well done. “clap clap”.

    If Robert Groden has been ticketed and arrested in Dealey Plaza 81 times for speaking his mind you may want to send some more kids out to die. Its not working!!!!!

  75. Wow. Where to start?

    1. As pathetic as the original memo was, my first question is why an “acquaintance” would feel the need to post it all this time later? Obviously you’re looking out for your friend because you blocked out her personal information, but anonymously slandering someone you obviously don’t know reeks of spiteful douchebaggery. I mean, Meredith got her jollies broadcasting this to 700 people. The poster got something out of posting it for the entire Internet. For what, exactly? No one gains here, not Meredith, not the poster and certainly not Hal. This was nothing more than mean spirited gossip, and if that’s what you get off on then you need to take a serious look at your own life.

    It’s like Eleanor Roosevelt said: “Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people.”

    2. The memo from Meredith was obviously a ploy to get attention; whether from her friends or from her “guy” or from Hal. I don’t see it as either sweet nor naive, just extremely immature. In fact it seems quite manipulative to me. Especially when the poster goes on to say Meredith still wants Hal’s attention.

    3. Per Hal this account of events is simply untrue. Given Meredith’s subsequent behavior, evidence suggests he’s the one telling the truth. But in this TMZ era who needs truth when you can have gossip?

    4. People have an almost pathological need to tear down other people, especially if they have even a smidgen of success. You have one group present who wants to attack Hal for being a media whore, and then another group who wants to sneer down their self righteous noses that they have no idea who he is.

    It just boils down to the fact some people need a reason to justify their unfounded hatred of their fellow man, so they latch onto anything. Thank you, poster, for feeding into this. That really helps make the world a better place. To be so mean and hateful is just as bad as someone posting this note for the world to see.

    5. Hal is an incredible person. No matter what he does for “work”, what he does to make the world a better place far outweighs it. He just came from Washington to host an animal rights charity event as well as speak to Congress about providing computers for under privileged children. He’s spent massive amounts of time and energy for charities and causes and for positive change, which means it’s more important to him to get involved with life than sit back and make fun of it from the safety of an anonymous Internet message board.

    In other words… he is a great mind. If all you care about is what show he’s on (or not on), who he sleeps with or even the size of his penis, then you’re missing out on so much more.

    And that is what is truly lame.

  76. cool story bro

  77. This bitch is lying her ass off and you guys are believing it. o.O Hal is one of the sweetest, most talented men I’ve ever had the honor of meeting and this skank was just lying to get attention.

  78. just as nobody believes she actually slept with hal sparks, nobody really believes you know the guy either. dumbasses. besides which, nobody gives a shit about hal sparks anyway. you know why?

    because he’s HAL. SPARKS. (implied fail.)

  79. … who the fuck is Hal Sparks?

  80. I don’t think she cheated on a boyfriend, she wrote “my lack of exclusive commitments”. Doesn’t that mean she was not in a relationship?

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